So Why Don't I Just Come Out And Share My Cdng With The Family And Close Friends?

[Princess Chantal]

I haven't felt any shame or guilt about my crossdressing for awhile (nearly a decade), in fact I am very proud of my crossdressing. I have no issues in going out the door in the various crossdressing practices and have been on television in a documentary and been on the local news (Pride Parade and local Transgender events). Yet, I haven't come out and shared my joy of crossdressing to the family and friends. Are you puzzled why I haven't?
I am definitely sure that my family and friends would be in full support of my hobby, however I fear that they would be too supportive. They would probably drown me in girly gifts that I don't desire or need, somewhat like my partner's mother does. Good chance that they would invite Chantal to the female based activities/parties in which I'd have no interest in. I am at a happy balance right now, that I would hate to influence the scale in which may happen with their overwhelming support.
I know, it's so against the grain.... but that is how it is for me!

[Beverley Sims]

Short answer....
Because you haven't come to the right time and situation.

You will know when it is right, when you become comfortable with what you do.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Just be careful, remember you cannot un-tell someone... and those you tell may tell others, even if you ask them not to, and that could possibly include telling some people you don't want to know about your dressing.

If there is no pressing need for them to know, it might be a good idea not to tell.

[Princess Chantal]

I am quite comfortable with my crossdressing and if they come across it (any which way), I wouldn't have a red face or get all that stressed over it. I'd just have to learn to open my mouth and tell them not to be overly supportive. Been struggling to do so with my partner's mother for the past 8 years, though.

[Wildaboutheels]

Seems pretty simple to me.You don't NEED to tell them. You don't NEED to share your hobby. You don't NEED to transition.

Most important of all, you have figured out what so few here ever do. There ARE NO paths to follow, or any rules to break.

[kimdl93]

If it works for you, then that's fine. You're pretty much out there otherwise.

[Marcelle]

Hi Chantal,

Seems pragmatic enough to me. If you have found balance with your life as is . . . why upset the apple cart. BTW . . . heard it was quite cold out your way . . . Ah Winterpeg

Hugs

Isha

[Princess Chantal]

Seems pretty simple to me.You don't NEED to tell them. You don't NEED to share your hobby. You don't NEED to transition.

Most important of all, you have figured out what so few here ever do. There ARE NO paths to follow, or any rules to break.

or to some people, I'm too ignorant to follow the paths and rules that were laid out by others LOL


Hi Chantal,

Seems pragmatic enough to me. If you have found balance with your life as is . . . why upset the apple cart. BTW . . . heard it was quite cold out your way . . . Ah Winterpeg

Hugs

Isha

Yes, 3 weeks of extreme windchill (near -50c) with a couple mild days far between....
Looking forward to moving here???

[Marcelle]

Hey Chantal,

Remember the cold well as I was posted to Kapyong Barracks off Grant back in the early 90s not to mention a couple of very cold winter exercises in Shilo . . . BRRRRR.

Hugs

Isha

[CarlaWestin]

Have you ever thought of attending a casual family gathering in mild fem mode? Then you could explain that your predilection was a more subtle personal choice activity.
And then start collecting all those girly gifts you mentioned.

[Katey888]

Princess (or should that be, your Royal Highness... :battingeyelashes:)
Forgive my disbelief but; you've been on local TV and in a documentary? You actively support transgender events? And no-ones noticed...!??? :eek:
I'm more puzzled that no-one else has spotted you rather than you deciding just to let on what must be obvious... or am I missing something?
Anyway, I'd agree there has to be a right time - but given you already seem to have something of a public profile, isn't there a risk of a leaky outing, which could be (and sounds) much worse than a managed one?
Just my thoughts - looks like you're having fun with that southern belle look, btw. Maybe parasols will make a fashion comeback someday...:heehee: but not in the winter..
Katey x

[Jenny Gurl]

Good Advice Vickie_CDTV. Today's girlfriend may be next years ex girlfriend due to whatever reason. If you plan on telling people, understand it can soon become public knowledge to everyone you know.

[Launa]

With being on the TV documentary and local Pride parade events did anybody ever see you and figure it all out without telling them? Most people are scared to death of just going out to the local store or pub and getting outed by someone...

If you did come out to the family and close friends the positive side is you might get a lot more historical dresses for presents.

[Princess Chantal]

I've had no problems in confirming my crossdressing to those that approached me. Two former classmates noticed my pictures on the Masquerade website when they were doing a web search for a drag queen theme to one of their bachelorette parties. Turned out great as we met up at a Halloween function at the local LGBT club a few weeks afterwards. A co-worker approached me once about a conversation he had with in his words "an eccentric" friend of mine (my ts roommate at the time) who mentioned that she knew me, in which I just confirmed that yes Rosalie is a fun person to be around.... let his mind wander (am I dating her, am I trans, ???) LOL
Anyhoo, I have no problem in people knowing, just I am not gonna take the step to approach them with my joy. I'll stay passive and let them approach me with their findings.

More fun to find the outfits myself and I'd prefer gifts of stuff that I need.... like homemade food, mmmm love these cabbage rolls I got for xmas from the parents

[Gillian Gigs]

Sometimes we like to put things into boxes. The boxes separate everything into what makes us feel the most comfortable. Do you have a family box, a close friends box, a CD box and whether you are aware of it or not you may be keeping them separate. Let's face it, once pandora's box is open, it is impossible to get everything back into it!

[Melissa_59]

I'll offer another short answer: Because they may not be as accepting of your "other self" as you are. Sure, you've been doing it for awhile and you've come to terms with it. But depending on the background your family comes from, this might be a bucket of cold water in their faces, and you're worried that they won't accept you.

Long stuff:

Acceptance is very important to anyone, for whatever we do - people that don't have issues with acceptance in anything usually have employment problems, by and large. Sure, there are those who say "Oh who cares, let 'em deal with it" but I doubt that constitutes a majority of people on Planet Earth. In fact, they're most likely a serious minority, and it has to do with the way we're raised and socialized. In a family where it's unacceptable to bring home a "B" on your report card, and where the family motto was "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" (thanks Mr. Lombardi), approval or disapproval was a big thing for me. I imagine it is for many people though, and that's what you're worried about I'm guessing.

You accept yourself, and that's a great first step. But it's tossing a babe to the wolves when it comes to gaining acceptance from others, when most of society still sees us as "mentally ill" (due to ignorance) or violating some religious rule (again, ignorance).

I can understand this. I've come out to one of two daughters, and the reaction from my oldest daughter kept me from telling my youngest. Wish I could be of more help.

My humble opinion is based off of the school of hard knocks. Your mileage may vary.

[Valarie]

If you are happy with where you are at with your CDing that's great, and that is what matters the most. It seems anyone that you share with would love Chantal!

[darla_g]

I'm definitely in the personal comfort zone, but i feel like I don't wish to share it with my kids (late teens) or other relatives. I don't dress around them, don't desire to dress around them so there is no need to know. They probably already do suspect but no need to confirm anything. My wife on the other hand is very supportive and participates at times so all is well there.

Its all about reaching your own personal comfort zone.

[AllieSF]

Seems pretty simple to me.You don't NEED to tell them. You don't NEED to share your hobby. You don't NEED to transition.

Most important of all, you have figured out what so few here ever do. There ARE NO paths to follow, or any rules to break.

I agree with this. You have found your balance and for the reasons mentioned do not "need" to tell them. Good for you. I am a much smaller and somewhat different version of you. I have no need to share this side of me with family and friends. I handle it well, I go out when I want and am ready to explain to those who do not know when they may ask me. Life is basically good for us (me and my friends and family) and I see no need to upset their and my apple carts by sharing this. I do not need their support and can easily deal with the minor inconveniences that I encounter to keep my almost secret an almost secret. Of course, what works for one may not work for another. Personal situations also vary all over the place. It is also one of those risk - reward, pros versus cons situations that each of us may or may not weigh to help us decide.

All that being said, I think I would really like that too many gifts situation!