Dressed AND Noticed...

[flatlander_48]

My wife and I are in the midst of some vacation time in Palm Springs. At her encouragement, I brought femme outfits to wear. We went to a drag show last night and I was dressed completely, head to toe: black crepe jumpsuit, ear rings, bracelet, grey pantyhose, black 3" pumps, wig and full makeup outside and longline bra, forms, gaff and panty girdle inside.

I was surprised at how comfortable it all felt. It relates to something that is often discussed here about trying to be as secure as you can within yourself. People often don't react well when they are confused. The idea is if it quacks like a duck, etc.

However, there was one bit of weirdness. Coming up the elevation in the hotel, 3 women got on just after my wife and I did. One said "Good evening, Ladies." and complemented me on my hair. Sort of blew my mind!! I tried to minimize what I said, but I think at least one figured out that the original greeting was slightly incorrect. Heady stuff, though.

Doing the makeup was interesting. As my wife doesn't use makeup, I found someone that does transformations when I was on a business trip to Atlanta a couple of months ago. Check out:

Phoebe Cross (http://www.phoebecross.com/)

Great Lady and a lot of fun to boot! Anyway, she was great at explaining how things work, what colors to use, how to apply, how to remove, etc. I learned a lot in a few hours. I won't say it was easy as I was very worried that I would get something wrong and have to start over, but it turned out pretty good. All totaled, things went better than I had hoped.

Anyway, the Nike folks got it right:

Just Do It!!

[Beverley Sims]

When you are all packaged up and all wrappings are on...... It does feel "WONDERFUL"

I know the feeling well.

[AndreaS]

You did good by finding Phoebe Cross. She's a sweetheart and does good work too. I just wish that she was on the other side of Atlanta where most of us local gals are at.

So glad you had fun going out. Habit forming, if you ask me.

[Tracii G]

Great story indeed. Glad it went well.

[Marcelle]

Hey there,

Great story and as you discovered, most people take little notice and those who may/do most likely have the good graces to keep it to themselves.

Hugs

Isha

[flatlander_48]

Often there are Unintended Consequences and things that you just can't predict. However, regardless of whether you actually DO anything or not, it won't happen unless you put yourself in the proper situation. That's what gives you options. As the little guy said:

"Do, or do not. There is no try..."

[Kate Simmons]

I'm happy you enjoyed yourself Hon. Good for you. :)

[Suzanne F]

Way to go! There is nothing better than being out in the world as a woman. I hope you have manyore trips out!
Hugs
Suzanne

[flatlander_48]

You did good by finding Phoebe Cross. She's a sweetheart and does good work too. I just wish that she was on the other side of Atlanta where most of us local gals are at.

So glad you had fun going out. Habit forming, if you ask me.

Yes, she is a bit off the beaten track. I was visiting a company over in Marietta, so I was staying just west of the airport. It was a hike to the other side of town.

One of the things I noticed about Phoebe is that she is very relaxed about things. I think it is a case of "...just about seen it all". Experience puts you in a different frame of mind and works to minimize surprise and fear. I'm glad I just happened to find her. And, as it looks like I will be making more business trips to the Atlanta area, I will likely schedule another visit.

[flatlander_48]

Thanks all!!!

This experience was a long time aborning. Previously I went out once fully dressed (except for makeup) in 2001-02. My second wife and I were dating at the time and we went to a Halloween showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and then to a gay bar. We had a great time. A women even told me "Nice legs!".

Anyway, a lot have things have happened in the interim that have slowed down and/or redirected my dressing efforts. The separation from my first wife became final, I spent 6 years working in Taiwan, 1 year in North Carolina, dealt with (and continuing to) a serious health issue for my wife, birth of a granddaughter, sold a house, bought a house and various other smaller events. Also, I live in a small town that is dominated by my employer so this trip was a perfect opportunity.

So, sometimes there is progress...

[Jodi]

Did you go to Azul for the drag show?

Jodi

[MarisaRose.]

Congrats on the night out and having such a great time, live life to its fullest!!!

[LaraPeterson]

Nice shape there in the shirt flatlander. That'll get you noticed every time. The thing is, getting noticed is not bad at all, is it? Why in the world would be want to spend all that time fitting ourselves into all those wonderful, silky undergarments, take time doing the eyes and makeup, put on a pair of heels, and then go out the door and hope no one notices us.

[kimdl93]

Good for you, and your wife. It great to experience the world, isn't it!

[Persephone]

Congratulations on being out and about, Flatlander!

If you get a chance, attend a performance of the Palm Springs Follies. It is an absolute hoot and this is the last year they'll be doing it.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[flatlander_48]

Did you go to Azul for the drag show?

Jodi

No, we went to Toucan's Tiki Lounge. It's just north of downtown on Palm Canyon. I want to make another show somewhere before we leave, but we'll see how the timing works out.


Nice shape there in the shirt flatlander. That'll get you noticed every time. The thing is, getting noticed is not bad at all, is it? Why in the world would be want to spend all that time fitting ourselves into all those wonderful, silky undergarments, take time doing the eyes and makeup, put on a pair of heels, and then go out the door and hope no one notices us.

Yes, that's sort of a Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't thing. We want to be seen as who we are presenting rather than the person we are in real life. Note I'm speaking about the CD community and not the TS community. For me, going to the grocery store, the local mall or a downtown restaurant carries probably better than a 50/50 chance that I'll see someone I know from work. So, being out in that context has some real downsides. You can't unring a bell and for the time being I don't need to push the envelope.

That said, this trip has significance beyond just a vacation. In a year or 2, we're hoping to retire somewhere around here. So, this trip also has a reconnaissance aspect to it. Palm Springs has long been noted for the strength of its LGBT community. This is a major consideration for us.

[DebbieL]

Your wife was smart, she had took you into a safe environment where even if you did get read, people would assume you were just another drag-queen. Drag shows are very popular with cross-dressers because you can be one of many gurls in the place. The other benefit is that if someone does create trouble for you, there is a support network right there.

The other good thing you did was go to a professional to get some professional advice on how to do street make-up rather than drag-show make-up. I majored in theater and was involved in theater in high school as well as college, but I did need to learn to tone it down (with the help of a GG coach) so that I would look more natural yet still feminine.

Being with your wife is also a good thing. If you are alone and you get read, someone might have a reaction, and there is no incentive to moderate their response. Being with your wife leaves them assuming you are two women, but if they DO read you, they get the subliminal message that you are not gay.

What's really great is when someone starts treating you like a girl he wants to have. It's a bit scary, but GG women go through it anytime they are well dressed.

[flatlander_48]

Good for you, and your wife. It great to experience the world, isn't it!

Yes, definitely. All the things I mentioned in Post #10 were done essentially from a male perspective. However, men and women often have very different perspectives when experiencing the same thing. I didn't really understand that until I had encounters with other men and I was in the role of the passive partner. Same event, but a VERY different viewpoint.

Anyway, growth is interesting because it doesn't always take you in the direction that you expect. I'm a firm believer in the notion that everything happens for a reason, and that in some way we are always moving towards our destiny; whatever that may be.

[Eryn]

Those "ordinary" feminine interactions like being complimented on hair, clothes, or jewelry are so heartwarming to us. There is no equivalent interaction in boy world where competition and one-upsmanship demands that we never compliment each other. The other day I was wearing a beautiful (and fairly showy) necklace that Mimi had given me. We were leaving a restaurant when a woman spontaneously said "I love that necklace you're wearing!" What could I do? I said "Thank you!"

I always feel a bit less confident when in the audience of TG-themed shows. In normal surroundings nobody is thinking of TG individuals so I am pretty much accepted as I present. At a drag show people start thinking "I wonder if any of them are in the audience?" They start looking around and at that point I'm part of the entertainment! I still have fun, but it's a different sort of fun!

[flatlander_48]

The other good thing you did was go to a professional to get some professional advice on how to do street make-up rather than drag-show make-up. I majored in theater and was involved in theater in high school as well as college, but I did need to learn to tone it down (with the help of a GG coach) so that I would look more natural yet still feminine.

That's an interesting point. When I was working with Phoebe, we discussed how I thought about things at some length. This helped her get a sense of how I saw myself. For example, what she showed me (and what I replicated yesterday) was foundation, face powder, mascara, eyebrow pencil and lipstick. I specifically didn't want to do eye shadow, lip liner and blush. However, every performer last night did. For me, I think that's were it crosses the line. I don't have anything against it, but it just isn't me.


Congratulations on being out and about, Flatlander!

If you get a chance, attend a performance of the Palm Springs Follies. It is an absolute hoot and this is the last year they'll be doing it.

Hugs,
Persephone.

Yes, I know, but I think we're going to run out of time. Sort of a bummer, but try as you might, you can only fit 5 pounds in a 5 pound box...

[Donna Jean GA]

I have to give another recommendation for Phoebe Cross. I spent a night in her guest house and it was like being a kid in a candy store. Tons and tons of clothes, lingerie, shoes, wigs and she lets you play to your heart's content, gives you a makeover and takes pictures to boot. That was probably the best weekend I have had in years and I can't speak highly enough of Phoebe.

[flatlander_48]

Finally back home after many airline difficulties. I've been traveling for work since '72 and I've never had a trip with so many mechanical and electronic issues. Anyway...

I've posted an after-event photo of my outfit here:

What Happened In Palm Springs Stays... (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?207481-What-Happened-In-Palm-Springs-Stays...)

[LilSissyStevie]

Congratulations on being out and about, Flatlander!

If you get a chance, attend a performance of the Palm Springs Follies. It is an absolute hoot and this is the last year they'll be doing it.

Hugs,
Persephone.

I'll second that. I haven't been in many years but it's just a short drive from here so what's the hurry, right? Too bad it's ending. I love all that campy glitz and the music and dance routines of bygone eras. You have to see it to believe it.

http://www.psfollies.com/

[michelle45]

Great thread and thanks for the advise on Phoebe! While not close, it is not a long drive to her location! I would love to go and spend an evening with her as that is one of the things I want to do one my bucket list!!:) Thanks flatlander_48!!

[Jordan]

Sounds great I bet you and your wife had a blast

[Sabrina1013]

Sounds like you guys has a blast. And I would have to agree that it does feel wonderful when the whole package is put together :D

[flatlander_48]

There was one other bit to the story. I told it to a friend her and she thought it was pretty funny. It was a little embarrassing, but what the heck...

The one thing to know is that my wife uses a wheelchair.

When we left the bar, I was pushing my wife across the parking lot to get to the car. Where we parked was about 50 yards from the bar as they share the parking lot with a couple of other businesses. When we got about halfway there, all of a sudden I HAD TO GO!! Several options flashed through my head and I decided to get my wife to the car and unlock the doors as I didn't want to leave her in the parking lot and go back in the building. I realized very quickly that I can walk in heels, but not run! After I got my wife situated at the car, I saw a big pick-up; a dualie F-250. I went over and crouched a bit by the front fender where it was semi-dark and I had another realization. I couldn't FIND IT!! I wasn't tucked, but under the jumpsuit was a pair of pantyhose, a panty girdle and a gaff. I thought I was going to do the unthinkable right there, but at the last moment, I FOUND IT!! In 65 years I've never had a problem with FINDING IT, but there's a first time for everything, I guess. Meanwhile when I finally got back to the car, the wife was laughing her A++ off because she guessed what was happening. Anyway, No Harm, No Foul but it was damned close...