Second step on the NHS Pathway

[Carla Stevens]

I've just had my appointment with a Psychiatrist at the Local Mental Health Unit as part of the NHS referral process.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to go as Carla. :sad: So it was guy mode.
The Psychiatrist was a 30 something lady & she had a young 'understudy' with her sat in on the appointment.
The appointment went well & the 45-50 minutes went too fast to have a proper talk about my situation.
The outcome is that I don't have any other underlying mental health issues & she will write up a report to send to my GP. :) This will take about 2 weeks.
The next part will be waiting for my GP to seek funding for referral to Leeds GIC.

I had previously mentioned on the forum about breaking the news to my father.
Unfortunately I'm now stuck between a rock & a hard place......I need to progress & be happy with the real me, BUT I can't see me ever dropping the bombshell on him after a situation before Xmas.
Just before Xmas the boiler in the house decided to throw its hand in. Now this was a nuisance, but not the end of the world. However my father worked himself into such a state with stress. :sad: He wasn't eating properly, didn't sleep properly, had bad guts & didn't go out for several days & spent much of the time pacing up & down worrying.
If he gets this stressed & upset by a situation like this, how the hell is he going to cope with the news that I'm Transgender? The news will certainly send him to an early grave.
I'm now at an all time low, feeling trapped with little or no motivation to deal with daily life. :witsend:

[AllieSF]

Not sure of your father's economic situation, however, sometimes people, including me, go into an outburst or get upset over some issue time similar to your father's when in fact there may be some other more serious issue in the background. For me, financial issues throws a big bucket of cold water on my enthusiasm, like when I pay my bills every month. If you are close to your father you may want to try asking why he was so down over a big issue but one that probably doesn't normally result in his reaction. It may be a chance for father son (daughter) bonding and could eventually make your coming out to him easier.

I grew up without any major dramas in a loving household, always worrying about myself and where I was and wanted to be that that specific phase of my life. I never really paid much attention to, nor knew much about, those around me, including my immediate family. Only later in life did I begin to hear from my siblings and relatives their stories about everyone else, stories that I never knew about. Also, parents have a great instinct in shielding their children from the day to day and other bigger issues that they have to deal with. I regret that I never made much effort to get to really know the ones I loved as I was growing up. It always amazes me how sometimes some people were very intuitive about what was happening to those around them. Most of my friends and even adults friend of today were very similar to me when younger.

Good luck!

[Carla Stevens]

My father is a worrier by nature & has always stressed about seemingly minor things. As he's got older this has got worse though.

[Amy A]

Hi Carla,

I don't really know what to say, it's a really difficult situation that you're in. Are there any other family members you could discuss this with first, or is it just you and your dad?

Ultimately you are going to have to decide whether to put yourself first or not. As you know though nothing happens quickly with the NHS so you've got a fair bit of time to think this through yet, especially seeing as you aren't planning on going full time until your facial hair is clearer. You've made real progress over the last couple of years and now you are getting things in place for the future. I have no idea how you could go about telling your father but you just never know what his reaction will be. He obviously cares about you deeply.

I hope you feel better soon. I've been having a couple of dark days as well this week, so I know how it feels.

[Carla Stevens]

I really don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm finding it hard to write this as my head is all over the place at the moment.
I know I need to start putting myself first for once, but does this have to be at the expense of my fathers health? I'd never forgive myself if he took a turn for the worst due to my 'bombshell'.
I suppose the NHS system is slow, so it may be quite some time before I go full-time, but in the mean time I really feel I need to have the freedom to live part-time at least & not have to constantly hide myself from everyone as this is causing me serious emotional stress.
I do have a younger brother, but we've never been close & I don't know how he'd react. Obviously he's going to have to deal with it eventually.

Anyhow, hope you feel better soon Amy.

[marshalynn]

I think I would start wearing some subtle female things around your father, See how he reacts, may be after awhile he will ask you about them, may be away to start the talk....