Reactions. An Observation.

[Rhonda Jean]

Now that I'm a few days beyond my "Gay... Finally!" thread I've had time to sit back and take in the different reactions. The predominant reaction in the responses was "congratulations". I love that! I think it was intended, in most cases, to say congratulations on finding happiness, and I certainly gladly accept congratulations on that. I don't know that anyone meant "congratulations on being gay". I don't know that that's an achievement, but to me it is kind of an achievement, so I'm going to go on thinking that some of that did mean "congratulations on being gay". Where else would I get that? So, yes, after years of struggling through a difficult heterosexuality, I've finally made it!

The other reaction that would only probably only be found in this community (expressed to my through pm) is surprise. No where else would anyone be surprised that a male who dresses like a woman is gay. I get it, but to the outside world the default assumption is gay. Every time. I've met plenty who were surprised I was straight (back when I was). These are just a couple more things that we look at differently than those outside this community.

I've yet to divulge that I'm dating a boy who looks like a girl to anyone outside this forum and my ex gf. It's kinda hard to work that into conversation. I've worked the phrase "my boyfriend" into a few conversations (and yes, Paula, I know that that's not precisely descriptive!) which has not even caused a raised eyebrow so far . I think in the right circumstances it'll be fun to see that reaction, I just haven't figured out how to bring that up in casual conversation. It's a pretty short list of people I'd consider telling.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Thanks for sharing your observation. It is truly funny and ironic that:

1. Outside the CD community many folks are surprised to find that most CD’ers are not gay.
2. Inside the CD community some folks are surprised that you are gay.

It’s good when you can break apart some stereotypical views held by people.

Congratulations again Rhonda! On being happy and being gay!

Hugs,
Stephanie

[Katey888]

Rhonda - your obvious joy at what you have experienced is so infectious, I'd congratulate you just for passing a smidgen of that on to all us voyeurs here :yahoo: and well deserved too. I feel a bit happier that someone can be happy-ier in this weird world.

And Stephanie - yeah: irony and humour gets my vote every time, along with breaking stereotypes... Of course, we are all still very stereotypical (to ourselves) which compounds the irony! :eek:

It's just brill for someone to exude a really positive feeling - thanks again Rhonda..
Katey x

[Annaliese]

I think most people and I would include my self in that group, when we said congratulations in being happy. That is what we are are looking for here to be accepted for who we are, Straight CD, Gay CD, or Transgender we are looking for happiness.

[ChristinaK]

Congratulations Rhonda. To me, it's not a matter of being gay, becoming comfortable with and accepting being a crossdresser or establishing a career you have worked hard for. The congratulations are for being happy and comfortable with where you are in your life and that definitely IS an achievement. Best of luck to you.

[Suzanne F]

I want to congratulate you on continuing on your journey. It has to take courage to be open about the choices that you have made. You seem very courageous to me! I wish you all the happiness you deserve.
Hugs
Suzanne

[mysticalkatie2014]

Rhonda brilliant !!!

[NicoleScott]

I've met plenty who were surprised I was straight (back when I was).

Did you really mean to say "back when I was [straight]"? It seems that you were being congratulated for finally discovering what you always were (gay). If not, then you were being congratulated for becoming gay??? Most say they were born gay - did you become gay?
Maybe those who were surprised somehow knew what you hadn't yet discovered about yourself - that you were (are) gay.

[Jorja]

I thought I had replied to your post, Gay...Finally! I guess not though because I cannot find my reply. So, congratulations on finding what makes you a happy person. Many live a long lifetime and never achieve that. I hope one day you will find that place where you truly want to be with yourself.

[LaraPeterson]

Rhonda, I get it, I applaud it, and I agree with your assessment. I remember scoring my first touchdown as a high schooler; slaps on the butt from a bunch of cute guys in really tight, shiny pants; never did I think, "Wow, I want to bed him or him."

Later in life, as I've matured emotionally and hopefully gotten a little wiser, those shiny pants sometimes catch my attention now. How life changes as we open our eyes to reality.

Enjoy yours!

[Rhonda Jean]

Did you really mean to say "back when I was [straight]"? It seems that you were being congratulated for finally discovering what you always were (gay). If not, then you were being congratulated for becoming gay??? Most say they were born gay - did you become gay?
Maybe those who were surprised somehow knew what you hadn't yet discovered about yourself - that you were (are) gay.

Excellent question that I don't know the answer to. I have to acknowledge the possibility that I was born this way, and I must say that to be this way now feels wonderful and natural. Until recently, though, I truly did not feel such an inclination. I can now think back to, and admit to, instances where something turned me on that probably shouldn't have, had I been completely straight, but my sexuality has always been all twisted up within the fact that I dress like a woman. I didn't think a few isolated incidents were indicative of a larger condition or orientation. I'll post on that subject once I've had time to organize my thoughts on it. I suspect there's a larger story there. I doubt that I'm unique. Whether I was born this way or became this way, I will say that I could list off 4 or 5 things that if any one of them had not happened I would have not realized it (at this time anyway), or at least wouldn't be living it out.

[Marcie]

I really don't know if I am gay, although a few years back, I did have roughly six gay affairs. Yes they were of a sexual nature, and at the time very enjoyable. I was cross dressing at the time and was innocently looking for something different in my life. Today I just cross dress because I feel so comfortable in these special and fascinating clothes. I try desperately to look like a real passable woman. At the present time I am not even considering further gay experiences

[Beverley Sims]

Rhonda,
It appears that you are handling your new found situation well.
Good for you.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, since gay means happy, I guess that means you are happy and gay. Being yourself is the important thing, label notwithstanding. Good for you. :)