So I finally have a name for this... and it sounds weird to me.

[janedoe]

Transvestic Fetishism. That's apparently what's going on with me. I've been dealing with this for years, and am fairly comfortable with CD, but "transvestic" is a word that for some reason freaks me out.

Is this a normal term that I should just get used to?

[Candice Mae]

I don't understand what your referring too...

[Beverley Sims]

I don't think so.
It probably does not apply to you anyway.

Just be normal like the rest of us. :)

[Kate Simmons]

Whatever it is I call it having fun and that's what counts with me. ;):)

[devida]

Are you cross dressing solely for sexual stimulation? That is the definition of a transvestic fetishist. If you cd because you do not feel entirely happy with your gender identification or if you want to be another gender or because cding gives you a sense of comfort, happiness and reduces your stress you are not a transvestic fetishist. It is a very narrow and clearly defined category. Most cds don't fit it because their dressing has much more complicated than that. It very often includes sexual aspects but is much more than that.

[Karren H]

I think you can add vestic to any word and get freaked out... gymnasvestic! SUVestic! lol

[Donna Jean GA]

I think the key word in that phrase is "fetishism". The "transvestic" could refer to or modify anything related to wearing the clothing normally associate with the opposite sex. Personally I think there are a lot of other fetishisms more scary than the transvestic kind... :).

Donna Jean

[AmandaJ]

When I first started learning more about why I dressed, I thought this was all there was to it...a fetish. As I discovered more and more people like myself, I came to terms with and accepted that there was much more to it than it just being a fetish. I really don't like labels myself because there is so much gray area. Even "Crossdresser" when googled will give you some strange, mis-leading results. Though, labels I think do help people identify with something when it's necessary. For instance, a new one that I recently discovered and made me start thinking quite a bit was "bi-gendered".

[NathalieX66]

I have my fetishes. However, dressing as female feels nothing like a fetish. It's just who I am.

Transvestic Fetishism sounds so.....so 1957. ....like back in the days when gays got electroshock therapy to treat their homosexuality, or a bunch of cult moviegoers going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show .

[Zylia]

Is this a normal term that I should just get used to?
Yes. The concept of men in dressed up like women freaks people out as well, so I guess it's quite fitting. Anyway, don't let the 'scientific' term define you or your cross-dressing habits.

If one would read the actual description in the DSM, one would find a passage about how in time, the sexual aspect of dressing may become less important for some people as well. Some people are afraid that any association with sex or fetishism invalidates their identity, but we're simply sexual creatures. Hell, if everyone stopped having sex today we all wouldn't make it into the next century :D

[PaulaQ]

Just ignore these labels. Rather than a definition, let's consider:

cross dresser - someone who wears women's clothes. Often has a sexual component.
transvestic fetishism - someone who wears women's clothes, for sexual stimulation.

So physically, or psychologically speaking, what separates the two, since the behaviors seem, well, identical. Mostly arm-waving on the part of some psychologists, as best I can tell. We replace one term, for something we don't understand "cross dresser", with another word for something we don't understand "fetishism".

None of this, as best I can tell, is a predictor of what will happen to you in the future with regard to your gender. Time sorts that out, often with the help therapy. Whatever is going on with your gender though, as best modern science can tell, it is hard wired into your brain in such a way that no known technique or medicine can get rid of it. So trying to split hairs over whether or not you are TF or CD isn't too useful.

BTW, I was CERTAIN I was a TF. Yeah, it's just a little sexual kink, no big deal. Then I was SURE I was just a CD - I just felt more comfortable dressing like a girl sometimes. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm actually transsexual, and am transitioning. None of that means diddly to you janedoe - it is mainly meant to illustrate that whatever term you use, it doesn't predict anything, which is largely the reason I don't think the distinction is very useful.

[mikiSJ]

Enough already. Stop using the internet to define a condition you most likely don't have and that the definition you came up with for your condition is so dated as to be laughable.

[Katey888]

Jane - don't worry about it, please... :hugs:
Trans-vestic is just a Latin or Greek derivation of cross-dress - so you should be happy with that (WHAT have the Romans done for us...) :D
The fetish part is probably true - but men are sexually stimulated by lots of things: women in short-skirts, high-heels, women with big breasts.... So that makes most men leg, shoe or breast fetishists - and in truth they are. :yahoo: So what..?
Katey x

[Marcelle]

"Labels . . . we don't need no stinking labels" . . . Just be who you are and let the rest of the world worry about labels. Besides labels are for soup cans not people. :)

[Marsha Marsh]

Besides labels are for soup cans not people. :) HAHA Isha, I love that quote.

[janedoe]

Thanks all! I try to not be defined by labels - sometimes they just confuse me, like this. And for any clarification, the TF thing actually came from a sexual identity therapist. I'm not sure what I said that made him come to that conclusion, but that's his theory. Now to just get a manage on the whole CD aspect (I lately have been doing it almost binge-like. I'm ok with doing it, but I need to at least have a balance).

[Sarah Marie]

Transvestic is a great adjective!!! Sounds like "Fantastic"! "I love my new Toyta Yaris! It's so transvestic!" :)

[Zylia]

I'm not sure what I said that made him come to that conclusion, but that's his theory.
Well, do you have sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving cross-dressing? In that case you might be a human being that has a transvestic fetish. You can call it a label, but it is what it's called. If it causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning, you may suffer from it.

[I Am Paula]

The word fetish has also gotten watered down in the last couple of decades. Once the word would only have been whispered, or seen in dime store detective novels. Now we have purse fetish.com, stores called Auto fetish, if someone compliments your shoes, you say it's your fetish. All these examples are completely non sexual. Use any or all labels that you feel comfortable in. You have the option of not using labels at all. I've always liked 'Fabulous'.

The only thing we ask...if the clothing is purely sexual, wait till you get it home before...well...trying it out.

[Sarasometimes]

Janedoe,
First off crossdressing is not related to sexual identity, but is gender identity and expression so a sexual identity therapist may not understand what you are talking about. Also any therapist who applies a label to you without thorough explanation is in MHO someone you should never return to!
It took me many tries to find skilled, truly knowledgeable therapists but it was worth it. Years ago I went to one therapist who had a large clientele from the gay community and she assured me that gender was a specialty of hers and as you experienced, she, after 2 or 3 sessions told me I had a paraphilia about women's clothing and that I needed to get a handle on this fetish. The last appointment with her.
I really don't think this individual can help you, but that is something you need to determine. Unless you flatout asked him for a label, why did he apply one. Modern therapy avoids that approach. He should view his clients as individual cases and unique needs.
Good Luck

P.S. If you are in the NJ/NY area, PM and I will share a great reference for a therapy group there.

[Cheryl T]

That simply means that it's related to wearing the clothes of the opposite sex....it's no big thing.

[Sarah Marie]

In all seriousness, I think it's disingenuous to say that, at one time or another, that the dressing wasn't a turn-on sexually. It evolves. There are times when it may stir up erotic thoughts or feelings, even to this day. Early on, when dressing was limited, It was almost like I had to do it all in the span of whatever time I had. Quick makeup - wig - lingerie - heels - mirror - fantasy - then quickly take it all off. As I dressed more and got out more, the erotic component of dressing faded. My choice in outfits was geared more toward passing than "fetish" It's all good. It's a spectrum.

Peace,
Sarah

[Chickhe]

Isn't Fetish the kind of cheese that makes people aroused when rub it all over their body? ... if that's not the case, then you probably aren't that.

[Hell on Heels]

Well put Sarah, I've had the same experience.
Jane don't worry about hearing the word transvestic, it will rarely come up,
I believe most psycs. would not even use it. The TG community was opposed to its
use, causing the docs to come up with a new term to describe our "affliction" and now
refer to this as Gender Identity Dysphoria. Just another label, thanks doc!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[NicoleScott]

Dressing for sexual excitement doesn't exclude dressing for other reasons. It's possible to have a fetish (in the true sexual meaning, not the watered-down "I like shoes") and dress to express some degree of internal feminine identity. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, one or the other. My dressing is primarily to feed my fetishes, but I also enjoy other aspects of CDing.
Also, many CDers say that their dressing started out sexual but "evolved" into "it just feels right". I'm sure that's true for many (I take their word for it) but it isn't always that way. For some, like me, it remains sexual. This knuckle-dragger never evolved into a sophisticated lady.

Transvestic Fetishism, by definition, IS about the clothes. Not so for GID.

[ReineD]

Terms again. :)

The term "trans-vestic" is the latin form of "cross(gender)-clothing". Trans = cross and vestic = clothes.

The fetish part is a question of degree. It starts out as a fetish (sexual motive) for most CDers and so the term "transvestic fetishist" is apt especially in the beginning. It stays as a fetish for some CDers while for others, it eventually morphs into dressing for comfort even if there is still an occasional sexual experience. The term "cross-dresser" only explains what a person does, i.e., dress in clothes that "cross" the gender barrier without any reference to any sexual motive.

[janedoe]

Thanks all for the kind words. I agree - I shouldn't get caught up in terms. I think that's what breaks people down all the time. Now to move forward and know for now I'm fairly normal!

[Gigi]

I feel like even if there is a sexual aspect to it, deep down, isn't it a little more than JUST a fetish? i feel like people are sometimes scared to admit that they may have some gender identity questioning, even to a small extent, and hide behind a term "fetish" as not to make them "any worse" than what they already are. I don't really use labels, when it comes to my SO or even my sexuality (not gender in my case, as i am not trans-gendered). I don't think they are necessary really, only maybe as a jumping off point, but really everyone is unique and may have all kinds of combos going on all at once.

[erindemia]

This is fascinating. I just posted a lengthy discourse on how the sexual component feels somehow different from genuine gender dysphoria. But I can see myself enjoying the aesthetic component, and the identity play, more and more. Perhaps I should consider others' experience - over time maybe I'll give more or a chance to genuine TG. At this point the sexual component is still so strong, it overrides all others. Will be fun to watch!

Played against this is my earliest feelings about girls, my persistent torture at how attracted I am to women, my inability to really assuage or satisfy that craving .. Dunno.

That said, it all feels just like a game, to me -- if a rather obsessive and fundamental sexual game. If there's anything more to it, it feels like some kind of weird heterosexual obsession. Who knows, maybe this is just a superficial expression of a genuine desire to *be*!

Anyway, really appreciate everyone's candor and open consideration. Quite a thoughtful community ..

Erin