Am I or am I not part-woman?

[DanyGirlie]

Hey gals, what's up?

So, I'm 21 years old...and have been xdressing ever since I started walking...so you could say I've always wore women's clothing. What I'm trying to determine right now is whether I have a type of mild gender issue or not, here's why: lately I've been very stressed out, to an extreme level and that bothers me a lot, although if I crossdress the day before I'm absolutely fine man! And doesn't have to be the full thing...just wearing panties & bra under my clothes at home..expressing my femininity in any way will cut the stress situation. When I'm en femme I'm feel sort of..complete you know? But I wouldn't go all the way because it ain't easy being a transsexual in modern society and besides the weird thing is, I don't have a problem with my masculinity at all! I love women, I love women(even though I'm attracted to guys as wells), I love being a man! Although...if I don't express my 'girl's side' I can't get on with my life! So what do you think I am? I'm confused..cause I don't know what to think anymore.

[Marcelle]

Dany,

You sound like a classic cross dresser to me. If you were feeling as though you were trapped in your male body, hated your primary sexual characteristics (i.e., genitalia) then you would be more likely leaning toward TS. Don't sweat it . . . if it feels right and it calms you go with it. Plenty of us are in the same frame of reference as you. Having to express you "girl side" in some form or another just goes with the territory.

Hugs

Isha

[Aprilrain]

If you were feeling as though you were trapped in your male body, hated your primary sexual characteristics (i.e., genitalia) then you would be more likely leaning toward TS.

This is a common misconception. Not all TSes feel this way, I never did. Its not that I hated my penis it's just that I've always wanted a vagina, I always felt like that would have been right for me.

I too enjoyed having sex with my girlfriends but I was always envious! I wanted to be them, I wanted to be in the female role during sex and when I was alone I'd dress, if i could, and imagine myself as a woman with a man. I consider myself bisexual and am currently dating a woman.

Trust me! No one wants to be transsexual Just like no one wants cancer but if you have it you've got to deal with it! I'm not saying you are and I'm not saying you're not! only you know if the gender thoughts are bad enough to warrant therapy. If your asking yourself the question it maybe worth it to examine these feelings with a qualified gender therapist.

I'll warn you now that transition is a tough road, it takes a lot of fortitude, a fair amount of money and some undeserved good luck to make life during and after transition work.

Good luck, either way there is good support here or over in the TS forum

[Tina955]

I always considered myself a crossdresser. However since my wife passed away (who did not tolerate and I had to deny myself for 27years of our 34year marriage) I have realized a problem. I have been with only 2 women since wife passed 4years ago. And with both ladies I could not complete the act while being intimate with them. This was apparently due to my thoughts while intimate were, I have to please her, and also I am envious of their bodies and feel my body is inferior to theirs. I don't like feeling like this, sometimes the women envy consumes me and I am not living life. Often think about transition, love reading stories of people who are finally happy with their lives since they transitioned. And love the pics.
My life situation isn't conducive of transition, so the only way I deal with it is "my life will end someday and the suffering will be over". I have checked into gender therapists, and there aren't any within 2 to 3 hours away. Not feasible since I am a business owner and can not get the time.
So hear I am a very frustrated crossdresser for the remainder of my life.

Tina

[Tina_gm]

Tina, there are other therapists who may have some inclination into your situation. Some may even try to study up some on the subject to help you. Not all is lost merely because of not having a gender therapist in specific. Most of the therapists nowadays have at least breezed through the topics relating to TG issues.

[Rachelakld]

Hi Dany,
I'm 48, been dressing since I was a wee kid......same, same, nearly same (I'm not in to guys)

I can't help putting a label on you though,
My label is fun, relaxed, dad, husband, mechanic, cook, builder, fashion consultant, avionics engineer, makeup artist, plumber, crossdresser, and so the list goes on.

[emma30]

Aprilrain,
Your first two paragraphs are so right and is what i think when im in woman mode. Well said gorgeous.

[Kate Simmons]

If you were born male, you are already half woman due to chromosomes.:)

[Shari]

Wow Dany, just 21. You have a whole lot of time to figure it all out.
Wondering too, is your attraction to guys there only when dressed, or all the time?
It would make more sense if it was only when you were enfemme.

[mysticalkatie2014]

Sounds very much like myself but my confusion way fixed when I met my partner misty she helps me dress and we bought a strap on so that all the gay feelings I have can be expressed with her not another guy x

[Tina955]

Gender mutt, thank you for the prompt. Soon as I can secure insurance (Obamacare) I will definitely start checking local therapists. This is a must for me, since I have been lonely as hell since my wife passed away, and I can't get myself dating out of fear of envy, and not being man enough for the ladies.

Thanks again,
Tina

[Joanne f]

Hello DanyGirlie,
in my personal opinion you do not need to be part female to wear female clothe's , you were brought up to feel comfortable wearing them so at times cof stress going back to them will remind you of your child hood even if it is at a subconscious level it will relax you , only you can tell if there are other feelings that accompany your liking of female clothe's , it maybe these other feelings that can really answer your question .

[Beverley Sims]

Be guided by your inner self, I believe you are thinking too hard and deeply, looking for a way out.

[Aprilrain]

is your attraction to guys there only when dressed, or all the time?
It would make more sense if it was only when you were enfemme.

I'm curious, what would make more sense?

I don't think, and neither does the medical community, that sexual orientation has anything to do with CDing or with transsexualism.

[Tina_gm]

Tina, I have seen both a gender specialist and a marriage counselor. I have other issues besides CDing.... The gender specialist was helpful when I 1st started my path to acceptance. The marriage counselor, she is open about the idea that we are all people 1st, and regardless we still operate from a basic template. Now, I would advise that during the initial call, you let them know what is going on with you. More than likely they will 1st say to see a gender therapist. In your case since there is not one nearby, shop around, and eventually someone will likely attempt to help you. You might not get a lot out of it, but hey, something is better than nothing. They will likely not know the nuances like a Gender therapist will, but of the feelings of isolation and depression etc etc, eventually you should be able to find someone that will be of some assistance in dealing with the bigger picture.

[Saikotsu]

You sound similar to me. You may want to look up the term Androgyne, though only you can determine if that works for you. As for me, I cherish both sides of myself. I like being a dude, but I also have a female side that I feel I regularly need to express in order to feel complete. And like you, I don't want to fully transition, but in my case, its because I know that if I did, I wouldn't be satisfied because of the part of myself that I would lose. Good luck figuring things out. If ya wanna talk some more, feel free to message me.

[kimdl93]

Pretty run of the mill CDr from what you've described thus far. You mention stress...dressing may be an escape from stress, as mentioned many times here by some members.

I also agree that we are all blends of masculine and feminine traits. You have plenty of time to sort out the blend that feels right for you.