Changing your body to benefit your femme self

[MzVanessa]

Hi everyone... My name is Vanessa... I'm a newbie but have been reading the forum the last couples months here and there... thought it was time to join in.
As my first official thread I guess I just wanted to get some of your opinions and thoughts about changing your bodies to enhance your femme self. I'm not really talking about plastic surgery, but more about working out and weight loss.
I believe I am at a bit of a crossroads in my life as to how much I want Vanessa to become part of my day to day. I have been divorced for almost two years now, and immediately after it went through I took to working out and lifting weights to obtain a more fit appearance to attract females and get back into dating. While I didnt get Hulk big I did put on a noticeable amount of muscle, and in turn, my appearance en femme suffered. I naturally didnt feel as feminine and also lost a bit of the urge to dress up anymore. Well after about a year of that, and dating, I was with a steady GF for a few months and got a little comfortable and stopped working out as much and have since then lost a bit of the muscle I put on.
Now that I am single again, and after spending a bit of time unhappy with myself in the femme sense, I am considering focusing more on losing weight... particularly upper body muscle and fat that came back after a few months, and more on developing my thighs, butt, and core to look more feminine. I feel like its a big decision and I honestly am unsure as to how I feel about it. I am happy as a man but I do love dressing up, but I don't want to lose myself in Vanessa's world either. How have some of you dealt with this issue? Is there a way to find a balance or is it an all or nothing type of deal? Any input is appreciated. Thanks.

[PatChick]

I feel kind of the same. I'm 6'0 200, and look normal as a guy, but en femme, my arms and shoulders look a little silly. I guess I'm not really helping you, as I'm looking for similar advice.

[AnnieMac]

Ya me too, I have the same trouble as y'all - arms to big and flabby, and then there's that man belly, since I'm 5'10 and overweight at 215. I can present a pretty nice female form when I get down to were I should be at 170-175. So yes back to swimming my laps, I promise myself. Also look like a girl? -Eat like a girl! Gonna have to be girl food -veggies & dip and salads. Not always able to get that curvy female shape though, guess it will have go the corset route - sigh.

(my tummy is not a cross-eater though, it prefers pizza & beer)

[Sabrina133]

Hi Vanessa et al,

Great question about working out. I've found that for me, the best is aerobics...lots of running and light weights to tone but not to build mass. Also, watch what you eat. While i am not recommending starving yourselves, you should consider protien, veggies and stay away from carbs.

Good luck
Bree

[Ciara Brianne]

I adopted a feminizing workout that targets the core and lower body. It has the benefit of decreasing my waistline and love handles and building the butt and hips. I am actually surprised how well it works. It also provides a decent cardio workout. As for the "man arms"...please let me know if you find a fix for this.

Ciara

[NathalieX66]

I run pretty regularly....about 3-4 times a week. It keeps my weight down. Even though I have a fairly flat tummy ,I would do abdominal exercises, but for some reason I find some strange allergic reaction to doing these kinds of exercises......don't know why that is. :daydreaming:
I'd be willing to do HRT if it didn't mean killing off my lower half, so I'll just leave it at that. I just feel like sometimes I don't look soft enough.

I did a very wrong thing today. I drank a can of Coca Cola.
I usually drink straight water since soda is mostly the fat stuff created by corn syrup like Coke.

[Violet-13]

I adopted a feminizing workout that targets the core and lower body. It has the benefit of decreasing my waistline and love handles and building the butt and hips. I am actually surprised how well it works. It also provides a decent cardio workout. As for the "man arms"...please let me know if you find a fix for this.

Ciara think you could pm me that work out plan.

as for me when I dress I wrap a tensor bandage around my self and attempt to give my self more of a hourglass figure.

[MzVanessa]

Thanks for the suggestions all. I guess there's no magic pill or potion. Good old fashion diet and exercise is the only way.

[JenniferR771]

The most feminizing thing you can do is to grow long hair...right? Eat less. And yes, aerobics is a good bet. My favorite is Denise Austin. Dozens of exercise and dance videos. Of course, it works best if you wear a cute leotard and tights.

[MzVanessa]

Ooooh yes. That's one thing... When I work out I do like to dress in girls workout clothes. Love wearing a pair of form fitting tights, a sexy matching top, and some cute girl running shoes. Gym attire can be very flattering and sexy. Very motivating.

[Tracii G]

Ever think about using hip and butt pads? A corset will do wonders as well.
You have a male body and thats is what you have to work with.
I did all the aerobics stuff and all I got was less butt and big guy thighs. It didn't look very femme trust me.
I worked out in a girls class too and it didn't help at all.

[MzVanessa]

Hip pads I could use for sure. I have been blessed with a pretty femme rear end but I wouldn't mind making it bigger by doing more squats and lunges. I do like corsets, I will definitely look into getting one... super sexy.

[LoriFlores]

Ooooh yes. That's one thing... When I work out I do like to dress in girls workout clothes. Love wearing a pair of form fitting tights, a sexy matching top, and some cute girl running shoes. Gym attire can be very flattering and sexy. Very motivating.

This is pretty much what I do too. My exercise routine includes mostly running, ran 13.5 miles today. I do this while dressed in 100% women's cloths/accessories. This training has kept my legs and butt toned and feminine, my belly slim, and I've lost a lot of upper body (arms and chest) muscle. I was also blessed with a well developed feminine looking butt :o

[Tabitha Storm]

I have always been skinny but as I get older I notice I started to get more of a pooch belly. Not good for the femme self.
I watch what I eat to make sure it went away. Now if I could get a butt I would work out more for sure.

Tab

[Barbara Dugan]

I don't workout , its something I want to start doing because I am a just a bit over my normal weight..one thing that always want to do is get a nose job

[Beverley Sims]

Vanessa,
If you look as ugly as sin, you already have the initiative to do something about it.
If you look drop dead gorgeous, vanity creeps in and you want to be absolutely stunning.

Just do what is necessary for a good presentation.
It 'aint easy and doesn't happen over night.

I believe in the "Tooth Fairy" and "Santa Claws" sic.
But the other fairies that change your appearance are still hiding under a toadstool somewhere. :)

[Candice Mae]

Loosing muscle mass will only do so much, and using exercise to target certain areas isn't worth the effect. In the end as others have said you will just look like a smallish male. It's pretty much using hip pads and forms or take hormones if you want a feminine shape.

[Miss Michelle Warner]

Hi honey,
I understand your dilemma, As a very mature bi TV, cross dresser, drag queen...whatever, I struggled with the same issues many years ago. I got into dressing in my early teens and have been at it ever since. I'm in my 70s now but look much younger, like 50ish and still enjoy painting up when ever I get the chance. Dressing for me has always involved sex, erotic play and fantasy either autoerotic before the mirror or with a partner. I used to go out a lot in drag during my younger days and was quite passable if I didn't dress and makeup too ****ty, which I have a tendency to do. At 5' 11" with very heavy draggy make up.and ****ty outfits folks usually read me as a drag queen, which I never minded, It got me lots of hits, usually from straight guys...LOL. Back in the 70s I was the cover girl and had a 6 page feature pictorial article in a TV publication "Transvestia", some with my genitals exposed which garnered lottsa positive letters to the editor. My moment of fame, I loved it...LOL.That was at the time of the so called "Sexual Revolution" when censorship fell by the wayside and explicit photos and articles became commonplace.
my body hair, I had very sparse and fine body hair naturally, got very minimal after the hormone therapy and stayed that way. I still don't grow any underarm hair at all. Even so, I like to keep my body smooth and hairless except for a small narrow patch above my penis with regular depilitation or shaving. I love the feel of being smooth. My hips and ass got much fuller, if were younger I'd get a butt augmentation for a totally female ass...se la vie! Also my voice changed a bit too where i can speak with a modulated kinda deep sexy voice, much like the lovely German actress Marlene Dietrich. Maybe most important is the feminization of my psyche, I felt so much more girlish
The caveats, (I can deal with them because I like the changes that occurred): Decrease in testosterone led to a slight loss of libido, but a lot of that is mental. By nature I've always been extremely focused on sex.
All in all I have no regrets about the path I took and the immense satisfaction I've enjoyed all of my adult life. I can think of no other lifstyle as satisfing.
Love and empathy to all my sisters out there, we all are unique creatures.
MissDeeLiscios

[Adriana Moretti]

vanessa you should check this thread here ,

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?205937-What-is-your-exercise-routine-What-moves-are-helping-you-get-fem&highlight=routine

there are plenty of exercises you can do that will help.....of coarse you have to have the right body type which you look like you have...oh....and starve yourself....lol !! yes...you will look like a skinny boy but i noticed if you work your midsection like in the videos shown in the threads it REALLY helps alot....running in fasting mode will shred muscle mass and belly fat ...and eat to live...not live to eat

[emma30]

Venessa,
I am going through a transformation at the moment, i go walking with a ten kilo back pack. I do 5 miles every other day. Along with this i have a really good diet of seeds, fruit, fish, vegetables not many carbs and plenty of water. I dont eat after 7.30 in the evening
And i keep thinking feminine to give me the motivation, im losing weight and ive dropped a dress size in four weeks and that was over christmas lol, so go for it girl and get yourself that great figure x

[Aprilrain]

It's genetics and hormones. Unfortunately your genetics and hormones tell your body to build muscle 5 times more easily than a woman's genetics and hormones. And then there is your male bone structure, which includes your face. Woman get their hips largely from their bones, not from fat. And the differences in facial structure are subtle but extensive.

The effects of HRT vary widly from person to person but generally the earlier you start in life the better, though after puberty it's pretty much a crap shoot. I got lucky, my already naturally feminine ass just got bigger and I gained a lot of weight on my thighs. This really feminized my legs and ass. Gaining weight in general meant gaining on my face which really rounded everything out after I had FFS. Unfortunately I also gained weight in my midsection. Im still battling the bulge! Lipo helped with that but it is no cure all and it hurts like hell! Hormones and a lack of exercise helped me shed muscle mass up top. One can only expect so much though. Im still pretty strong even after a few years of hormones and no upperbody conditioning. I started working out again, though I hate it and do not get people who actually enjoy torturing themselves!

Exercise is great and you will live a long and healthy life but there is no such thing as "girl" exercises. If anything obese men and women tend to start looking more alike the heavier they get!

[kimdl93]

Really I think toned arms and shoulders look good on anyone. Maintain or strive for a healthy weight, back off on the heavy, low rep shoulder work and concentrate more on your legs and glutes. Most of us have aspects of our bodies that are overtly masculine. Work around those by your choice of clothes and don't worry bout things you can't hide or chane.

[Felicia Dee]

I run into similar issues. Though I am thin and only 5'8" -- I have a big ribcage and naturally broad shoulders. I have been working out my lower body and not working out my upper... but I do chest exercises to better maximize some cleavage and keep my arms firm. So far, this is working. additionally, I have been altering my diet and incorporating suppliments to lower my testosterone and up my estrogen. It's been a few months and it has actually worked to soften my skin, slow my beard groth and increase sensitivity in certain... places... But ultimately, I rely on padding. A friend of mine noted that a convincing look ultimately boils down to proportions. Hips/thighs/butt that is more plush, balances out my shoulders. Larger breast forms play down my shoulders.

[rachael.davis]

For what it's worth if you're want trim, and toned start doing your training for trimmed and toned.

I have fallen madly in love with http://www.hemalayaa.com/, her workouts are geared towards women, and are kind of stone killers to keep up with

[Karren H]

Over the last 10 years I've lost 50 pounds..... been aggressively working at growing my breasts.... I can't even discuss here what I've done to create feminine breasts not just larger man boobs... lol.... got into corsettry and tight lacing..... which reduced my rib cage and bra band size 2" and by moving a few organs around I can cinch down to 26"..... did some foot binding.... which has reduced the width of my foot enough to wear a coupe size smaller shoes... male and female..... even played around with the idea of self castration..... but haven't gone that far.... yet... lol

[Tracii G]

Karren you don't mess around do you?
Did the foot binding hurt?
I don't have wide feet so I have no need to do it but I was just curious.
I have been doing the corset training for about a month but no results to speak of yet.

[lesli]

ultra light weights and a pizillion reps... tones up and slims the bulking muscle down.

[Karren H]

Karren you don't mess around do you?
Did the foot binding hurt?
I don't have wide feet so I have no need to do it but I was just curious.
I have been doing the corset training for about a month but no results to speak of yet.

I think I started to notice my foot shrinking after I got back into hockey.... binding my feet in skates... so I started taping my feet tight and some days the pain was awful..... other days it was bearable.... I dropped from a male 10.5-11 to a 9..... female size 10....


I wore a corset almost 24/7 for a year.... it defiantly changes your body shape permanently....

I have so many cute clip on and screw post earring that I refuse to make them obsolete ..... lol

[rachael.davis]

They're pretty easy to convert over to pierced

[Jordan]

I also would love a more female looking body but at 47 I realize that is pretty hard to do now gosh I wish the internet and sites like this was around when I was 20 just to think how that could of changed some of us older girls

[Karren H]

At 47? Seriously.... I'm over 60.... its never too late to do something .....

[Candice Mae]

The thing to remember is that as you loose muscle mass your vulnerability increases, add being attractive to that. There's a good reason I have pepper spray in my purse, I can no longer defend my self. I think I would be in tough to win an arm wresting against teenage girls.

[Karren H]

The thing to remember is that as you loose muscle mass your vulnerability increases, .

I'm never vulnerable as long as I have a hockey stick nearby! lol

[MzVanessa]

Good point Candace... That's kind of where I am conflicted. Part of me wants to be very thin and feminine but the other half want to remain fairly masculine and strong, specially to remain physically attractive to GG. I know I can't have both but I think I would like to find a balance...at least I hope to.

[beatrixmarie]

I'm really interested in the foot thing...I can just barely wear size 13 women's shoes from payless. Usually that's fine, as that's what the internet is for. But to lose a size or two would be great...even if it's something I can do at home. On the other hand, I might go broke buying shoes. ;-)

As far as other stuff related to shape, I'm dieting. Just getting back into the gym after a bit of a hiatus. Unfortunately I have the linebacker shape.

[Michelle V]

I have been running and biking, working out my lower half and letting my upper go a bit, now I have moobs (male boobs) which workout fine in dresses but look horrible as a guy, I am 42 and it think it is time to return to working my upper half at least for health reasons. I do shave all of my body and my wife occasionally does my toenails. Good question, makes us reflect on the changes we make to become more ourselves.

[Elisa Lace]

I used to do a lot of push ups and what not... I also ran for a while but I after my knee started killing me I dropped it altogether. While I don't do any push ups now while in search of a more "androgynous" physique, I am at odds as well on the matter. I'd love to be more skinny for my "female" self, but then again, I would like to be a tad more muscular male-wise.

Now... I absolutely need to lose some belly fat, that's for sure. I'm 5'7'' so I can fit lots of female clothing no problem, but I've been gaining some weight out of being lazy..

[Cheryl T]

Try toning exercises rather than muscle building...you know, lighter weights/more reps. You can tone your body and have a nice physique for the ladies and still have a nice femme body as well.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Since September I've lost 22 lbs. While I was doing this I started wearing Maidenform Flexies Body shaping camis. I coupled this with woman's high waist jeans. I wear woman's scrub pants while working. Unbelievably I was able to retrain my waistline. It is now higher where a woman's should be. My "man roll" that was there for years above the lower place that I've always wore my male belted jeans is gone and I now have small but defined hips where they should be. Even naked I have achieved a moderate feminine figure. And I did it just a few weeks shy of my 65th birthday. So if I can do it I hope my story will encourage others that they can to if they want. Oh yeah, I lost the weight by portion control. I never counted calories. Luckily, my job as a nurse has me on my feet all day and I'm very active shoveling snow and doing other maintenance around the house. I don't sit for to long. I also do Yoga with my Wii.

[Christy Stevens]

I have seen this and plan to try and start doing it.

http://www.reneereyes.com/Crossdress%20Survival%20Guide/Crossdresser%20Transformation/Crossdresser%20Exercise%20Tips/index.html

[Jacky Aikou]

Karren, I'm intrigued by the foot binding. I wear women's 12w shoes so there is a lot of incentive for me to drop just a bit.
I bet lots of girls are in the same situation. Plus I was depressed to read somewhere that feet continue to grow as you age. Can you start a thread about your binding routine, or maybe pm me?

[rachael.davis]

I wore a corset almost 24/7 for a year.... it defiantly changes your body shape permanently....


I've been thinking about serious waist training, a friend commented that it's pretty hard to stop once you've trained down.
Do you need a support corset after training down?

[Marcelle]

Hi Vanessa,

The cold hard reality is that we are a product of our genetics. As men we have different phenotypes to play with. If you are an skinny guy you are going to be a skinny gal when dressed and no amount of exercise will give you a femme shape hence why many use padding. If you are bigger guy and gain muscle mass easy, then you are going to be a muscular gal even if you move from heavy weight to light weight toning. I am not a big guy by any stretch of the imagination at 5'6" I topped out weight wise when lifting at 177lbs. I started using form and function and aerobic to drop weight so I could fight in my original weight class of 155lbs. However even though I toned down to next to nothing in body fat, my guy arms are still there (biceps) and my shoulders stayed wide but that is my physiology.

If you can loose weight it will help to slim your build and exercising your glutes and legs can give you more tone but it will depend on what kind of "junk in the trunk" you are working with. Some guys have sufficient rear end to pull of a feminine look, some flat as a board. I think I have struck a good balance with getting my weight to where it was about 15 years ago before I started all this macho heavy weight lifting. I feel better and my wife likes the look when I am "boy me".

Hugs

Isha

[JennyLynn]

I guess I've been lucky. I've always been a thin build with little body hair. I worked out when I was in college, but never developed that "V" man shape. I wouldn't worry too much about your body shape, but if you want to get more feminine in your appearance, drop some pounds, don't build muscle mass and act like the lady you feel. It's not all about your body, but more about your attitude. Clothes can make a big difference as well.

[LaraPeterson]

Focus on your core, do lots of stretching and yoga as often as you can. For your midriff, stick to basic crunches, working your obliques at the same time. This will tighten your abs and if you work it right, you get a "six-pack" without having ab lines. Do samurai squats to enhance your butt muscles; stretch your achilles/calf complex together to make your legs look long and lean. When you lift free weights, do lighter weights and more reps. This will add strength without bulk. The one place you don't want to look "thick" is your shoulders. I wish I could help you personally, I train a lot of people.

I run 26.2's, work out 5 days most weeks, and manage to stay "trim" AND strong. It's work, but it's worth it.

[Rachel_B]

I've been wanting to get more of a feminine body but I am unable to :sad:. I started getting a bigger midsection when I was younger and 8 years in the military didn't do much to make it smaller even with exercising twice a day. I also have some really huge calf muscles.. I think they are a 17" circumference. I have been thinking of getting a waist training corset but a really good one is expensive. I have been growing out my hair since I got out of the military and in two years, the length is just past the top of my shoulders. I have been called ma'am a few different times already.

One thing I have noticed (while looking at what GG's are wearing and wondering where I can get the outfit or something that they are wearing) is that the body type of normal GG's come in all shapes and sizes. If you can pass just enough to be called a lady, ma'am or girl without trying to hard by having more of a female looking body; you should be proud of yourself.

[teri g]

At 5'9" and 165 lbs., I'm about an average size guy, above average for a woman. But I do have a very male physique (the classic apple shape), in fact my shoulders are wider than many males who are inches taller than me. As important as dropping excess poundage and upper body muscle mass, in trying to achieve a feminine appearance body proportions are just as important. I've worked very hard over the years to create the hourglass shape and the only way I can do that is with lower body padding (and breast forms of course). So many member here work so hard on their appearance and get most of the pieces in place but will wear the tightest lower body clothing without padding which serves to enhance their male physique. Likewise, the choice of fit and fabric print can go a long way towards furthering the female form. Most women tend to wear darker, plainer bottoms and colorful tops with embellishments that emphasize their upper body. In an effort to emphasize the hour glass, I choose mostly dark, solid color tops, somewhat form fitting to show the waist I create with shapewear, and lighter, brighter prints on the bottom or jeans with pocket flaps and embroidery. Or in the case of skirts, I choose those that have some body/pleats/ruffles that flare out from the waist. The effect is to cause the eye to focus more on the hips created by padding and to draw the eye away from my wide shoulders. I consider myself far from passable but I have been out many times in places where I can keep a distance from others and I've still managed to attract a few honks and whistles. Don't get me wrong, I love my tight black mini skirts with nylons and high heels with lacey tops but when seriously trying to present female, I try to be practical and follow the guidelines above. To each her own but you really need to consider what your goal is. Are you dressing to please yourself or are you really trying to pass? (sorry if I got off topic with the clothing talk but I thought it was directly related)

[Angiemead12]

I stop heavy weight lifting 8 years ago after I told my family about Angie and I started doing basic yoga and body weight exercises to stay toned, I try to do more squats to build a good behind but that seems to need weights to bulk my hips and legs to be proportions to my upper body.

[mylittlesecret]

If you want to lose weight you should calculate how many calories your body needs (depending on your level of activity). You do this by googling a TDEE calculator and following the instructions. Eating below the recommended figure by ~200 calories will make you lose weight and eating above by 200-500~ will gain you weight and muscle (if you're lifting at the same time and getting enough protein).

(weighted) squats within the 8-12 rep ranges along with a good diet will build your glutes and quads up. Other leg exercises are fine such as stiff-leg deadlifts or whatever you want really, just make sure to research proper form before you go and lift.

There is no such thing as 'tone', you either lose weight to reveal what muscle you have underneath the layer of fat or you eat enough calories to build muscle then when the time is right you keep lifting whilst eating at a caloric deficit (mentioned above) and you will lose fat but maintain the muscle in your legs that you have gained whilst eating a lot.

Be sure to research this for yourself if you're serious about developing more shapely legs/glutes because there's definitely a lot of misinformation on the internet and in this thread!

[FemmeElastique]

In the past 10 years, I've worked out a few times (2-3 months each time) in an actual gym. Each time, I met with a physical trainer to develop a plan for myself. I made certain that the trainers knew that my goal was weight loss, NOT muscle gain. I want my body to be as naturally feminine as possible.

[suchacutie]

Genetic men lose muscle mass with age so the answer to the initial thread is age dependent. When I clocked over 60 I started to notice the lower abdomen and butt muscle loss, just what we don't want, so I'm focussing there at the moment along with maintaining a low but healthy weight.

[Christy Stevens]

So I went for a run tonight. First time in about a year. I've been really trying to find motivation, it's just hard to get out and do it. But tonight, I underdressed with panties and a sports bra top. The feeling was amazing! Talk about motivation! The whole time I kept thinking about how good Christy would look if I kept at this. It was definitely the inspiration that I needed.

Now I only need more sports bras...

[Ginger Jameson]

I never cared about my appearance before I started cross dressing. I was blessed with a good metabolism so never got too out of control. Now I'd like to look better as Lady, so I'm walking more and doing an ab workout. I love it. I put on some Britney or RuPaul and work it out. :-)

[Caden Lane]

Back in december I had a stomach bypass in order to loose weight. There were the obvious reasons to loose weight. But ever present in the back of my mind was to loose weight so I could wear sexier things and feel better about my femme self as well as my male self. So far I'm down 80lbs since December 2nd. A side benefit had been that my breasts are starting to sag. This is a benefit to me in that I can now tape them better to form cleavage. While it was nice to have nice heavy breasts due to my weight,its nice to know that despite loosing the weight, I still have an option.