Not a Good Experience at the Social Security Office

[steph1964]

I was going to add this to my name change post but after what happened I decided that it needed to be a new thread.

Today I went to the Social Security office to change my name and gender. It was very busy and I waited almost 2 hours before being called to a window. Once at the window I handed the employee my court documents and the letter from my doctor, and told her that I was there to change my name and gender.

The employee looked at the letter from my doctor only for a couple of seconds, not long enough to read it, and said “This isn’t enough.” I said that I got the information for the letter from the social security website and pulled out a copy of the policy that I had printed out. She again said that it isn’t enough and started to hand it back to me. I asked her what was wrong with it and she said that it wasn’t long enough. I told her that their policy had a sample doctor letter and my doctor had written exactly what was required, and started to hand her my copy. She told me that she had her own copy and removed a paper copy from a binder. She then placed her copy of the policy and my doctor letter side by side, with her right hand pointing to the first requirement and with her pointer finger of her left hand, scanning the letter to find that information. She slowly went through the letter making sure that she found everything. Once she was done, she sighed and started over again, slowly going through the requirements one by one. After the second pass, she then turned to the sample letter and compared that to my doctor’s letter. I had provided my doctor with a copy of the policy so luckily she had written the letter word for word the same as the sample letter. After going through the sample letter she said that my doctor must write very concisely (I don’t think she used that word) because the doctor letters are always a lot longer than that.

She went back to her computer now conceding that the letter was acceptable but then stated “You’re not even a citizen.” I told her that I became a citizen in 1988 and handed her my Naturalization Certificate and my US Passport. She looked at the Naturalization Certificate, which has my photograph, and said that she would have to contact Immigration and verify that it was valid which could take up to 90 days. I asked her why the passport, which she hadn’t looked at, wasn’t enough and she said “I need to verify this” and pointed hard down on the Naturalization Certificate. She told me that these things take a while and she has a customer who has been waiting over 30 days so far. She punched some information into the computer and then said, “Oh, it’s been verified.”

Once that was done, she printed off a paper and asked me to verify that everything was correct. It had all my information including my new name and listed my sex as a female. That was very exciting. She told me that the information would be updated in the system and should be current by tomorrow. I will receive my card in the mail in about two weeks.

It was a very nerve wracking experience and it seemed that she was trying to find a way to not have to grant my request. I felt that if she could have found a spelling error or a missing comma, she would have denied it. This is the first time that I have experienced such blatant non acceptance. While she was reading the letter I was already preparing to have to speak to a supervisor because it was so clear to me that she was looking for a reason not to accept it. I understand her wanting to make sure that all the information was there but she went way beyond that.

I have included a link to the Social Security website where they detail what is needed from a doctor. I would highly recommend that anyone else in this situation stress to their doctor to make sure that the letter matches exactly. Tomorrow is the MVD so hopefully that will go smother.

https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110212200

[Persephone]

Wow! Sorry to hear what you went through, Steph. But you held your ground and you prevailed! Congratulations!

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

Hugs,
Persephone.

[gonegirl]

Sorry to hear that, Stephanie. Wow, what a b***ch.

Thanks for the info and for posting the link. Good luck with the rest of your bureaucratic dealings.

[Rogina B]

That person must think she is the "gatekeeper" of peoples lives.. I hope she didn't put it in the circular file,in spite...Let us know when your card shows up!

[Christy Stevens]

This is just awful. You wouldn't think it would be that difficult, but it definitely sounds like she made it that way for a reason. People get some sort of job that gives the any sense of power and it goes to their head. I'm sorry you had to go through this dear.

[Teddie]

It's called. "Let me speak to your supervisor!"

[kimdl93]

I have a theory about that behavior unrelated to acceptance of gender variations. I believe that some people have relatively little authority or control in other aspects of their lives, their near the bottom rung of the work ladder, and being obstructive...getting to say 'no' and run people around is their way of exercising power...even though it's a needlessly destructive endeavor.

[tracigirl_tv]

You are my heroine, Steph! Way to be prepared, and way to be patient.

Most of us have run into this type of bureaucratic drone. She seemed to be looking for an excuse to deny you or, failing that, wear you down. Congratulations on not climbing the counter and smacking her.

:)

Traci
(who does not usually condone violence)

[KayleeTaylor]

I am sorry you had to deal with such a hateful sad-excuse of a person. You handled the situation very well, I very happy for the outcome :) Congrats girl!

[DeeArel]

This may not be unique to your situation. I have heard that personnel at social security offices are not very helpful for any time of issue.

[Michelle.M]

It's called. "Let me speak to your supervisor!"

Yes! Go back and do this, as soon as possible. This employee was way out of line and needs to have her attitude adjusted by someone who controls her destiny.

[LeaP]

Not long enough??? The SS Admin sample letter is 3 sentences! what on earth was the clerk expecting?

[Marleena]

I'm glad you went prepared Steph! It sounds like she was looking for reasons to reject your application.

[Chickhe]

Not a very pleasant experience, but it happens all the time, it may not even be related to gender, but it sure seems that way since she knew exactly what to do, or not to do to make problems for you. Basically, with a lot of people it is laziness and jealousy that other people are getting something different, they think they should get something special too...although they don't realize they are always getting a benefit that a minority is not. I've had things like that happen at the DMV or City permits office...basically, you have to know the system better than they do and you have to tell them what to do because they are too lazy to try anything different that what they have been doing forever. It is great news that you got what you needed in the end...too bad it was with a sour taste.

[Foxglove]

You never know what you're going to run into. As a genuine, red-blooded American living abroad (Ireland), I went to the American embassy in Dublin not long ago to update my passport and Social Security card.

No problem with the passport. The woman I spoke to never batted an eyelid and got everything taken care of in good order. I now have a passport with my new name and photo and a gender marker "F".

Ditto with the Social Security card. The woman I dealt with on that had no problem, and I've got a new card now. It doesn't have a gender marker, though.

The funny incident was at the front gate when I first went in. I had no valid photo ID at that time, which is precisely what the lads wanted. I tried showing them various cards I had, but that was no go. So I had no choice but to show them my old passport and my deed poll, which attested to my name change. That really knocked them back. But once they copped on to the situation, they gave me no hassle.

They let me pass--though I had to hand over various stuff, such as my phone, my mirror and my lipstick. And just what exactly is a trouble-maker going to do with lipstick, you ask? Beats me. I suppose I could scribble, "Yankee, go home!" on the embassy walls.

I'm also entitled to an Irish passport, but I haven't got a valid one right now. They'll give me one with my new name and photo, but they'll mark it "M", and that's not acceptable. In theory, new legislation will be passed some time this year that will correct that problem, but it's still wait and see at this point.

[JayeB]

So sorry to hear of your experience and I hope this experience is not repeated, but ay least your name and gender are now correct

[BOBBI G.]

Thanks for the info and the link. It is now part of my collection of things I will need to have perfect. All my changes will start as soon as I can gather the finances. I live in an area based on tourist economy and everything is priced and fee'd higher than most anywhere else. Once again, thanks

Bobbo

[Valarie]

I'm glad it got worked out, it is really difficult when you know you are right about something and they give you a run around to try and stop you.

[generalchaos34]

and I thought going to the SS office for regular things was hard enough! Im glad you came out ok. I went with someone trying to get their name changed after marriage and we were there for over 3 hours, and it wasn't even close to a 1st or 15th, even with the right documents they sent us back a few times because it was filled out "on the old form" that they had provided to her not a week before. I wonder if they have the same training program as the DMV

[FurPus63]

Thoughts and questions: Even though I'm not a post-op; I had my name changed to my legal name on my SS card without a problem but didn't have or at least don't remember attempting to change information to female with the SSA. My new card has my new legal name on it. Is there a bennefit to having the information changed to female? I guess I'm just trying to understand what the bennefits are of doing this and wondering if one has to be post-op to get this done, since you stated you brought a letter from your doctor. I am sorry to hear what you went through. Every once in awhile we run into these kind of people who just want to give us a hassle cause they think they have the power to do so. That's so sad. Congrats on having it all work out for you though! That's cool!

Paulette

[Foxglove]

As I said in an earlier post, my new Social Security doesn't indicate my gender. It only shows my name and SS number.

As for my passport, I had to get a letter from my doctor attesting that I had transitioned to my true gender. This doesn't imply that you've done HRT, SRS or anything else. The passport officials I dealt with didn't question the letter. They didn't ask what my transition implied. As I understand it, this is standard practice with American passports now. They don't ask questions regarding your transition. If you're living full-time in your true gender and can get your doctor to attest to that, you can get your passport issued under your new name and appearance and with your preferred gender marker.

[PretzelGirl]

I am guessing that this is a lesson in looking at the requirements and putting them together exactly as stated, no more, no less. It shouldn't be so precise, but there will be difficult people out there and it is easier on the stress level to not have to keep redoing things.

[vetobob9]

This is just typical government bureaucracy. Nothing more and nothing less. You are likely to experience something similar at the DMV where there are even more paper pushing bureaucrats. Don't take it personally they love making people wait for things.

[Ann Louise]

A big benefit to getting your social security gender changed is that your federal records, including Medicare, reflect the fact that you are female, even though there's no marker on your social security card. You can change your name to Moonbeam if you want, but a federal facility will go by you gender marker , not you name, when you are categorized (however, this will not change your marker on your DD214 if you are ex-military). If you don't change your SSA gender marker when you retire you will again see that dreaded "M" pop back into your life on your medicare ID card, et al. This happened to a dear friend of mine very recently.

Congratulations on your marker change Stephanie! Did you do your passport yet? They're just as bad, and you'll have to do it all by mail and phone. I obtained mine on my third try - it was due to imprecise wording on my endo's letter :-)

[Daphne Renee]

sorry you had to go through all that. You had the proper documents what difference did it make to her? I cant imagine its all that difficult for them to change on their end. Sounds like she just wanted to cause problems for you.. Glad you got through it ok though.

[donnalee]

I've had this happen to me at a Social Security office (in Berkeley, CA no less). It proves that there are people who should not be given positions of any kind of power, particularly not in any government agency. This had to do with my partner's Medicare; I retired at age 63, but she was over 65 and my health insurance would only cover a Medicare supplement for her. I had taken her off of Medicare part B a few years before as my health insurance was far better and was covered by my employer; also there were a lot of problems with the wrong provider being billed. It should have been considered better than comparable coverage and there should be no penalty increase. Instead the SS clerk wrongly insisted that my partner would have to pay an inflated rate to resume coverage. We left; I consulted a Medicare ombudsman organization, who confirmed I was correct. I was able to go back and talked to someone else, who had no problem with what I told them and put her back on Medicare beginning the next month. It worked out, but still cost my partner 3 months medical coverage. Luckily, nothing happened to her, but if it had, it could have been disastrous. I've also experienced this kind of idiocy at city, county, state as well as federal agencies. The best thing to do is to stop talking and leave; come back another day; supervisors don't help much as I've found they are more interested in protecting their turf than serving the public.

[GiannaD]

Hi Steph,
Probably nothing against you, just a case of a federal employee with a power trip ego. I work with our state licensing division here in NC and truly it seems the state goes out of its way to hire the most inept people it can find! Your perseverance paid off though! Congratulations!

[Kimberly Kael]

It shouldn't happen, but I'm not exactly shocked that it does happen from time to time. You were obviously well prepared and it sounds like you kept your cool in the face of someone whose view of how things are simply no longer apply.

[Nicole Erin]

Dealing with the government sucks. No amount of paperwork is ever good enough, they are often rude, etc.
When I went to the SS office to change my name the chick behind the counter at first thought I didn't have the right papers, even though it was a freshly signed and notorized letter from a judge. She had to go talk to her supervisor and then was like, "Ohh OK this is right."
Now get this - the chick I dealt with at the SS office was a tranny herself! Passable one yes but she even told me after seeing my male-name ID.
There is hardly such a thing as a "good experience" when dealing with the good ol GOVT.

[GirlieAmanda]

This reminds me. I went recently to change my gender on my SS. Back in Feb 2012, I changed my name on all of my docs including my SS card. I went to the office I think in November of last year here in South Carolina shortly after I heard that you can change you gender. I handed the clerk my passport and SS card and she checked the computer. She said the gender marker already was an F. I was incredulous. I guess the guy at the SS office back in PA must have changed it for me without me even knowing it. That was cool. I don't even know if he was allowed to, but he did it. That was weird. I guess the small town offices in western PA are cool.

[Stumble]

Steph,
This thread is hilarious from one POV. Bureaucrats! As others have said, the jobs often attract people who have no other venue in their lives in which to exercise power. I once had to go to SS office for disability because the policy is to deny all first applications. I took a letter rom my doc, some medical records, but most importantly I went with a friend who is a lawyer. We did not have to use that as a cudgel, friend simply introduced herself saying she was there as my transportation because I am in a wheelchair, and asa lawyer could squeeze out time in the morning. My wheelchair and long bathroom break did my talking and I was out with approval in 40 minutes.

Long ago a friend taught me how to cut through long waits at immigration in Guatemala. She would take a paperback and seem utterly content to wait. This drove the petty power brokers crazy and they would get her out of there ASAP. They fed off making people wait.

Nice work with the preparation. Seriously, we do not need bureaucrats to be sensitive as long as they stay tied up behind their windows.