Does the quality of your presentation lead to greater acceptance.

[Miss Mandy]

After my wife returned home from work tonight, I went to my dressing room and preceded to put my make-up on, my favorite black Rago girdle, jewelry, a pink satin unbuttoned pajama top, and slippers. I always try to really do an expert job with the way I put my myself together. In fact, I never dress sloppy or just throw my make-up on.

I have noticed that the degree to which I appear more convincingly female, the more likely my wife is to accept my session. She even occasionally compliments me! My question is this:

Does your SO accept you the better you present? For me, I see my dressing as an expression of my profound admiration for women and femininity in general. I feel that to dress less than my best is an insult to my wife. Does this make sense?

MJ

[Beverley Sims]

Never dress more casual than a real female.
Always present as convincing as you can, I get chastised if my bra is showing and my singlet is not straight.
It is a sloppy untidy look.
Try never to look sloppy.
The sharper the better.

[flatlander_48]

Yes, it probably does improve acceptance. I think the more fem-like one presents improves that chances of not raising eyebrows also. Note that I said fem-like and not passable. I think people often associate passable with beauty or cuteness. There are many women who are other than beautiful, but that doesn't have anything to do with the femininity that they present.

[Chari]

It may (in the beginning) take more time to present as feminine as possible with makeup, attire, and accessories, but IMO it is always worth it! I too never dress sloppy or just throw makeup on. That is not an image I want to present, but rather prefer the classic natural look.

[Jodi]

I would say yes. My experience of being out at regular venues is that a stylish look, well done makeup, a great wig, and a totally together look go a long way on acceptance with gg's.

I have been told on many occasions that, yes, they knew I was a cd, but my overall look was fantastic.

Jodi

[LaraPeterson]

Jessica, it makes perfect sense but has no effect on my SO. The one time she's seen me in full regalia, she said I was "gorgeous" but still does not accept me en femme.

[Jenniferathome]

No, I don't think presentation and acceptance are the description that fits. It may be presentation and weirdness. For example, if she were to see me without a wig, it would be more "weird." If I am fully dressed with the minimum amount of her husband showing, it is less weird. But at all times, it is weird. My wife fully accepts me and it is still weird for her. How can it not be so?

[AKADonna]

I would just appreciate any kind of acceptance from my wife of 45 years. Any little look, any little positive comment, anything!!! She know that I CD, but has never seen me in any stage of dressing feminine. I dare not let that happen and its a real shame.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jessica,

For my wife and I the two do not go hand in hand. She has seen me at all stages of dress. We have sat at the dinner table with me complete Isha (clothes, hair, make-up), she has seen me partially dressed eating breakfast (make-up partial, no wig, mix of girl and guy clothes) and she has seen me as Isha au natural (wig, girl lounging clothes, no make-up). In each case I am still her husband to her and she accepts all these versions of Isha as she does "boy me".

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

I don't know about an insult, but making an diligent effort certainly shows that you understand how much work it takes, and therefore better appreciate the female experience. Also, I think it tells your spouse that you care about how you look for her enough to make your best effort. Also, women have a lifetime of practice and can see flaws you might have overlooked had you taken a careless approach. If I were in my wife's shoes, I'd rather look at a nicely done presentation from a purely aesthetic perspective.

[Rachel Morley]

Does your SO accept you the better you present?
No ... not exactly. My wife's general acceptance of me is always positive no matter how I dress. However, if we are going out, depending on where we going, i.e. how public and mainstream the place is, then she prefers me to look the best I can and is happy to offer advice ... that I am always happy to hear btw.

[NicoleScott]

Jessica, you didn't say whether or not you go out en femme. To some, it may not matter, but it does to me and it certainly would to my wife. My wife knows that I like to make up and dress in an over-the-top and other styles., and she has no problem with any way I want to dress in private (and she occasionally compliments). She's not good with me going out, but if she were ever to be good with it, she would want me to appear as authentically female as possible. I'm happy to stay in and dress as I please. She's not insulted.

[sandra-leigh]

For my SO, I should either be casual or on the flare side -- daring fashion clothes, "interesting" makeup, flashy name. As if "If you are going to dress like a woman, you should be a Marilyn Monroe, not a suburban house-wife or office-professional works-in-accounting kind of woman". (But I am not a flashy person, never have been. My goal is not to "perform for the world", my goal is to continue living my life but as a female.)