Did you ever think part of you was female?

[Teresa]

I started CDing at 7-8 years and became sexually active between 10-11, I know it was before I entered an all boys secondary school at 11. After several months I noticed a small audience waiting for me to exit the showers, I wasn't one for looking at other boy's parts but after a quick glance round the penny dropped, I was the only one with pubic hair. Panic mode set in because we had already covered the reproductive cycle and basic male and female anatomy, I'd also read in the biology text book that the female normally develops before the male. The increase in my testosterone was making my legs shapely and my rear fuller and rounder, a point that wasn't going unnoticed judging by some comments! Then I was wearing girls clothes, I had to be turning into a girl! Deep down I still think this is partly true and part of the problem.


P.S. OK for the Brits on the forum, yes it was a Grammar/ Public School , no wonder I have problems! That explains it all, nudge, nudge wink,wink, say no more!

[Beverley Sims]

I thought it was true as I was a slight build and looked better as a girl.
Sometimes I was mistaken for one in jeans and shirt top.

[suchacutie]

I was very often ill for the first 5 years of my life, so when I was still really thin (and thought to be "pretty") until I was 18 there was always a reason. My male self was delighted when I bulked up the following year to the classic inverted triangle shape. My femme self finally energed 35years later.

Now Tina is here and everything is much clearer.

[Teresa]

Thanks for your replies but I think I may have put the wrong message across. The early release of testosterone changed my shape but it was obviously starting to build muscle I could run faster and hit harder than most other boys.

[LaraPeterson]

Teresa, there is definitely something female coursing through our veins. What it is, no one seems to have figured out yet. Maybe someday we'll know for sure. Until then, we just have to go about our business of being ourselves, don't we.

[Tina_gm]

I definitely think there is some extra femininity about me. Mostly in emotions and mentality. I do have smallish hands and feet. My legs are of a feminine shape and very thin for a guy. My voice is not real low and I do not have a protruding adams apple. Not a lot of body hair, but some. I do have some physical features that are male too. I tend to build muscle fast in my upper body. I am balding. I also am not prone to weight gain, I eat a ton of food and still stay relatively thin. At 49 I still eat considerable amounts of food and I am 5'9" and about 160. Most women have a hard time staying thin by this age, not as difficult for men, although many find it difficult as well, still harder I think for women.

I also have both masculine and feminine emotions and mentality. I tend to worry and feel guilt more than most men do. I get obsessive about how I come off to other people, always trying to say or do something that will not offend, and make people feel good about themselves. I know this is not just a female trait, but men do worry about this less I believe. I have always been obsessive about my appearance. Even way back in my denial days, I would trim any long scraggly eyebrow hair, ear hair, nose hair, my regular hair had to be well combed. If there was a reason for me to be dirty fine, but otherwise I felt a need to have very clean clothes and hands. clothes had to match. I had a hard time even with jackets depending on what I was wearing.

But then, I am naturally not one that is quick to cry. Some of the most tearfested movies I don't shed one. I do not see cuteness of babies, kittens, puppies. I am not an animal lover. I do not like the color pink. I am very competitive, although try very hard to be decent when I lose. So, I have been a strange mixture of typical masculine with a lot of feminine traits as well. I have natural feminine mannerisms. I see many posts where the members are trying to be more girly or fem. I have to try not to be. Guess I am just a mutt.

[NZ_Dawn]

Most definitely, only; at such an early age and at the time (sooooo long ago before information was so readily available) I had no real idea. A dilemma in many ways as I grew up and it was as if there was a big question that remained unanswered. I felt there was a feminine component just waiting for the key to release it.......it just took time.

[AnnieMac]

I have to say. I love your Avatar name, Gendermutt! Very creative and says it perfectly! I don't like the term cross dressing much. I don't feel its derogatory any thing, it's just kind of a stupid term, that doesn't really describe us so well. Gendermutt is much more accurate. Better get your avatar copyrighted! :)

[Tina_gm]

Thanks Annie. I do not have any alter ego or persona. I just do not have a women's name that means anything to me personally. I did toy with some women's names but I couldn't find any that connected. I was trying to just think of anything that meant something to me, and somehow it sort of just came to me.

[Jilmac]

If there was ever a part of me that was female, it wasn't anything external. I never had a baby face, started growing pubic hair and beard at age 12, had masculine features, and hands that looked like those of an 80 year old man. Internally, I always felt as if I could have been a girl. It was quite confusing at times, having the body of a male and the thoughts of a female.

[TxCassie]

Teresa,

Your story is almost identical to mine. I was the first boy in my 8th grade Catholic School class to sprout hair, anywhere, LOL. It was a major event during PE. We didn't have lockerrooms so we changed in the boy's restroom so close proximity was the order of the day. It wasn't very long before the other boys noticed and made it a point to point and laugh. I was what used to be called "husky" but not overly obese, so my size and muscularity gave me a masculine appearance. However, if one looked closer, you could identify that my body was very soft and feminine. My thighs were thick, but not overly muscular which lead to very round hips. I never was able to build my chest to a chisel pecs, so I always had a very tiny breast line, noticeable only if I wore tight tee shirts, which I never did. My arms have nice biceps but they would not grow overly big, even with workouts, firmer yes, but bulging, never. The hair I did grow was light, but what gave it credence was that my skin tone was very light olive, but my hair was dark brown, so the hair gave an impressive appearance of "hairy", but in reality, I never was too hairy. I have a square chin but soft eyes, with eyelashes that curl, no eyelashes curler needed, not even today. So far me, it's always a bag of mixed goods in the masculine/feminine attributes.

But the more important, I feel, is how I've always felt. I always known I was a male, and I cannot say, I don't have masculine attributes in my personality behavior, and thoughts. Much of I don't know is social constructed and how much is from my own biological makeup. But I've always felt a strong feminine presence in my personality. A presence that in the past I've ignored, suppressed, denied. A feminine presence that makes my dressing today, so much easier, comfortable, connected.

Cassie :love:

[Kate Simmons]

When I was really young, my female family members, especially Grandmas and Aunts always remarked I should have been a girl. Too bad none of them were around to see that realized.:battingeyelashes::)

[Cheryl T]

I've always felt that I was female to a great degree.

[Gillian Gigs]

There are so many variables, but being a Brit, here is another. You watched too much Monty Python, and sang the Lumberjack song often, because you wanted to be one. I'm a lumberjack and that's ok!

[Amandartv]

"I definitely think there is some extra femininity about me. Mostly in emotions and mentality. I do have smallish hands and feet. My legs are of a feminine shape and very thin for a guy".. gendermutt

I have the similar shape hun, I am physically small for a guy, real thin, I am to emotional for a guy, I even cry with movies I mean How femn. is that. But the one thing I think is more femn than all of me is my heart, I have a women's heart to emotional, I am blessed however with my physic, it embodies who I am literally outside what is on the inside :daydreaming:

[lesli]

i cannot say that i ever have or do. i was curious about what it felt like to wear pantyhose and tried it. needless to say i loved the feel and it is something that has stuck with me. i've had things happen in my life that has lead me to shaving my body and now epliating and shaving, so the feeling of dressing is more pleasurable. i have very much grown to enjoy the transformation from macho male to lesli.
hugs,
lesli

[Tharu]

Each day when I'm doing cd I'm feeling more horny girl feelings

[Persephone]

I always used to be reasonably male on the outside, not very muscular and pretty much the runt of the PE class litter, but I have a deep voice, a good sized adam's apple, etc.

My earliest memory of knowing I was a girl on the inside is from when I was around 2-1/2 years old. After that I tried and tried to fit into "girl world" starting in elementary school and it has been a part of me for my entire life.

When I was in my late-50's/early 60's I was having some medical issues and, without my knowledge, my doctor had my chromosomes checked. The report came back that 17-20% of my chromosomes were XO. Genetic females are generally XX and genetic males are generally XY; but an XO pattern expresses as female, known as Turner's Syndrome. So apparently I have mosaic Turner's Syndrome.

What effect, if any, this had on my gender is not clear. The jury is still very much out on that one.

Meanwhile, I don't care, I love who I am and I love my life, so what difference does it make?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[JulianneXD]

I've always wanted to be a girl since my earliest childhood memories. I got serious about it when I was 15 I dress for sexual pleasure. it turns me on so much visualizing myself as a woman.

[AmandaCDFL]

I have never wanted to be female. When I dress I feels so relaxed, it actually feels normal to me and my wife says I have nice legs (I think its the high heels, you know, gives certain parts a needed lift).

[ashley.love]

I've been told for many years by different people that I'm very in touch with my feminine side. That I have a woman's soul. Things like that. I've always been overly emotional. I cry easily during movies. Even during happy moments. My feelings get hurt easily. I empathize rather than sympathize. I put other people's wants and needs ahead of my own. When I was 15ish I wished I was a girl. Some of my friends even knew I was more interested in being female than male. I went so far as to ask my closer friends what they'd think of me if I had a sex change with mixed results. I always admired pictures of women for their beauty more than sexual in nature.
I've never been attracted to men though. I very much like women. I think I've seen other people say something similar along the lines of "a lesbian trapped in a man's body." I very much want to make love to women. I just want to be a woman while I'm doing it.

[Janet Bern]

My answer is yes. I have a little woman side to me. Just put on my
panties, shave my legs, wear a slip and stockings with a bra and breast forms.
and feel good to go. The older I get the more womanly I become.

[Maggie O'neal]

Every day ! All my life I have been drawn to what are considered "traditional" female interests, attitudes etc. As a matter of fact I am probably have an even more feminine side than my wife. We have a great balance . Growing up I always had more female friends than male. As a matter of fact that is true today. Many of whom I have known and been friends with over 50 years.
Teresa I too developed earlier than most guys in school and took the teasing as well . I am glad you are here . Again someone who reinforces I have not been alone . Thank You!

[Karmen]

There must be some female part inside of me, since I'm interested in a lot of female stuff since childhood. Just too bad that none of the outer visual parts are included, like more neutral looking body for example.

[Teresa]

Hi Maggie, It took a while for the penny to drop but as soon as I realised I cut all the hair off with scissors and managed cut you know what! I caught my mother the next day while sorting the washing examining my pants and looking puzzled, so I had to explain about the blood stain.

[Rebekka]

U r so right Ashley. ..I am so much like you.i adore feeling feminine and cherrish the times I can dress and feel feminine. Its who I am and love to be.