How important is going out in public to you?

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm sure many here have asked this same question of themselves. I keep going over is this really important enough to me that I'm willing to get read, which is likely for most of is. Is it important enough that what if we get attacked which I feel is less likely these days but still possible. Is it important enough that if you saw a family member or friend that you would be able to explain it to them if they recognized you.
What about your spouse who is non accepting, could you explain it to them if they found out.
I've been thinking for sometime now of taking the plunge and going out, even if it's just a walk in the mall but do I need to? I have several times lately gone out with light makeup with no wig or jewelry and gone to Walmart or a drive thru and while I was a little concerned I did it. So what it is about the full fem thing for you?
I'm beginning to wonder can I be happy doing the half fem thing and just getting in full fem at home while taking pictures to share with you ladies or do you or I need to get out in the world to be happy with me Leigh.
Your turn now girls, how do you feel?
Hugs Leigh

[Erica_xox]

I love it. It is the ultimate in liberation, as well as being scary and excited. Sounds just like a ride at six flags, but no line and no ticket. :)

[Karmen]

Since I'm still not out of the closet and I can't dress and go out openly every day, it's very important for me to do that at least occassionaly. It really makes my day. It's always very exciting to go out and walk around, but also very scary, since I mostly do it late in the evening or at night. I still don't know what will I do if something unexpected would happen, especially an accident, attack or robbery. I have my pepper spray in my purse and I just hope it will be enough to save me in case of attack.

[Talisker]

Scary and exciting pretty much sums it up.
Give it a go and if you dont like it dont do it again.
Not sure why you would be attacked if you went to shopping mall, but if your worried about that stay in womens shops.
The GGs tend to be friendly.

I dont do it to be me or find myself etc, because I am always me no matter what i am wearing, but it makes doing simple things much more fun.

[MzVanessa]

I do feel the need that after I've spend an hour or more transforming I want others to see me and see their reaction. I hope to one day fully pass and have all the feminine mannerisms down so I like to see the reactions I get. More importantly I love attention from men so I usually will dress in a manner that will get their attention. Too me its fun. I've dressed to just blend in completely in flats and slacks and I have to admit that I didn't find it as enjoying... Even though I felt that I was doing a better job at passing. I guess if I was born a girl I would have been one of the ones who wear a short skirt and 5 inch heels just to shop for groceries or get the mail.

[Kristy 56]

2 years ago before I moved it was the highlight of my day when I could do it. However, I usually only went to places where I knew someone such as at Merle Norman!Dress barn etc. Of course there was that 40 mile drive to get there. A few times I even stopped for gas,and even went to a lesbian bar. What an adrenaline rush !! Sure miss those days.

[Ciara Brianne]

I love going out. I, too, feel it to be liberating and exciting. It is important to me to show my true self to the world. I have not come out openly yet. Going out has been part of my personal discovery and acceptance. A way to find out if this is who I truly am and what I want. The first time I went out to a club was scary and exciting. It was also ultimately liberating and exhilarating. The experience showed me that this is who I am and what I want for me. It also seems such a waste to get all dolled up just to hang out inside and not be seen. I don't get out enough and it's been a while since I did. I hope to change that in 2014. :battingeyelashes:

Ciara:<3:

[sweetshauna]

I've only been out to drive-thrus and such a very few times. Wife says that's changing , we're taking a roadtrip to Indiana this year. And all I can take is my femgear she says. YAY!!!! Can't wait. I've been dyin' to let Shauna out, and leave Shawn @ home. So my public adventure is very important to me. But I think I'll bring some malegear just in case. :P

[Eryn]

Going out and interacting with others is important to me. I would find it difficult to work to look my best if nobody could see it.

[Debra Russell]

Going out is just me wanting to be myself - and necessary..........................Debra

[steeve]

the half fem thing don't cut it for me,does not feel right,i full fem on a day to day basis,my SO is fully accepting , on holiday / vacation,I dress ****ty,the amount of drinks brought for me and 'ask's for my phone number etc ' is disturbing lol.

[bridget thronton]

I usually shop or dine out when I dress (usually a few miles from my home town)

[Heather W]

Just really starting to venture out myself after years of hiding in the closet. There was a time it was important to dress, being out in public wasn't important at all however as time went on it became a driving force in me and although it took a while I am starting to enjoy the outdoors as Heather.

[stacycoral]

I have been out a few times, movies shopping, just some trips, but it is great to be in the world as a woman, living in rural America, I don't get a chance too often, go in the worldl and be me, I go outside at the home dressed, but always try to be careful, (because not to hurt family), but my SO know and lets me have girl time, it is important to me, I only wish sometimes I was in the city so I could go out like many girls here normally, and feel like it is a true day of being me, So yes being out in the world is important, I love every chance I get to be3 me. hugs.

[Sarah Beth]

I would like to go out in public but it's not the be all and end all for me. I know if I were out I would be easily read so I would have to be pretty careful about where I went and who with. I would like to share my dressing with someone and I think to be able to out would be wonderful but if I never get to it's going to ok too.

[Jaylyn]

It would be fun but I would need to take many baby steps in a town far bigger than the one I'm in..

[audreyinalbany]

I've been out a few times. I feel like I'm getting more brazen about it. Oddly, my chief concern is the neighbors. Once I'm on my way, I'm pretty okay with it. Always get a little rush of nerves just before I step out of the car, but otherwise, no problems. It's hard to say how important it is to me, although It must be on some level since I keep wanting to do it. Can I live without it? Yeah. And have for quite some time, but it's something I'd like to just be more casual about. It shouldn't be such a big deal!

[Kate Simmons]

A lot depends on our confidence level and our purpose for going out and what we feel we may need to accomplish. Just going out randomly never did much for me. Going out with a goal in mind gives us something to accomplish. That's pretty much the way I go about things.:battingeyelashes::)

[Karren H]

not that important but setting around the house all dressed is boring as hell! So I go out every chance I get...

[rachaelsloane]

just getting in full fem at home while taking pictures to share with you ladies or do you or I need to get out in the world to be happy with me Leigh.
Leigh,
Your comment above is something I did a post about when I first joined two years ago. At that time, I had never gone out and believed that posting pictures was an alternative to going out, as like most, I was scared.
Once I took that first step out the door, not sure why I waited so long, I have never looked back and go out 1 or 2 times a week with a friend from this forum.

[RebeccaLynne]

Leigh, thanks for asking. All the responses thus far have indicated a preference for going out and about en femme. To each her own, as we all enjoy CD'ing on our own terms.

Speaking only for myself, I have no desire to CD in public. What I do is for my own enjoyment, and I'm perfectly content staying home and crossdressing in private. When I do, it's all about me, for me.

Just wanted to express the viewpoint that's it's OK to enjoy CD'ing in private. Thanks! :)

[Rachael Leigh]

Kate I think I feel that way as well, I wish there was a local support group I could attend once in a while where I could feel free to dress and talk with the others but not aware of one near or during a time I could attend. My work schedule is my biggest issue

One thing I hope all here do understand, for those who do go out I admire you all it's really fun reading your stories and how you interact with the world even if they read you, Im not sure what my level of confidence is just yet but it's always on my mind. I think that's why I love this group so much there's support for all no matter what we feel.
I know for me my issue with self esteem is a big part of my fear, I've never liked how I look as a guy but what if my female presentation is just as bad oh my than what? So you see where I am.
Love all your responses so far
Hugs Leigh

[Allison_Leslie]

For me it is the difference between are we simply crossdressing occasionally or have we commited to a life as transgender? if the latter, which is me, then it is intrinsically of great import and I do it as long as I'm not going to work.

if simply crossdressing, no.

[Zylia]

I almost never really leave the house en femme. It's fine, but I'd love to stretch my legs more. I'm not really interested in interacting with 'muggles' as if I'm an actual woman though. I'm actually planning on going to a CD/TG party somewhere in the following months.

[AllieSF]

It is funny in that I do not feel the "need" to dress. However, I do feel the need to go out, dressed as a woman preferably. I love the social interaction with others and being dressed as a woman brings a new dynamic to it all and one hell of a lot more fun too.

Regarding your almost quandary, I can only say, go out when you are ready. Once you do and then repeat that a few times, assuming that the previous times were successful, your questions to yourself and others will probably be few and very far between. Being seen by someone you know in male mode is a very valid concern and is one for me too. However, the more I go out the less concerned I become. I now see all this as just another part of who I am. My only recommendation is to try to go out to places that will make your time out rewarding to you. As you build confidence it all becomes easier and you can then start varying your places to go when dressed to the places where you would or do go in male mode. Good luck and enjoy. No enjoyment, then why do it?

[kendra_gurl]

Leigh the importance in going out changes depending on what you are truly trying to accomplish or experience. That first time it's usually just to do it, to see if you have the nerve to do it. To satisfy in your own mind if others think you look as ridiculous as you think you probably do. You will avoid any close contact with others and be very content to just be seen from a distance and you will be in a euphoric state of mind the entire time you are out.

Then comes your second time out. You may choose one of lots of different reasons for going out. A drive wearing something a lot more risqué with the occasional getting out of your car to be seen by anyone who might notice you while still within the safety of driving away quickly. Flashing truckers on the Highway. A gay/les friendly club for a drink with dreams of interacting with others but still shying away from personal contact.

Then as you gain confidence you will want to get a little closer to others just to know in your own mind if you are "passing" or not. You really won't know the answer to that but you still want to try and find out just to build that confidence more. As has been already mentioned you will then try dressing to either blend in and not be noticed ( an I agree there is not much fun in doing that) or you will want to go out dressed as one of your own dream girls just to see what reactions you can get. I will never forget the first wolf whistle I received.

The point is it all depends on your ultimate desire. What exactly are you wanting to take place when you do go out.

You said " I have several times lately gone out with light makeup with no wig or jewelry and gone to Walmart or a drive thru and while I was a little concerned I did it" Ask yourself why you did this, why you did it that way, what were you hoping to accomplish.

I love going out and do so quite often with my wife. While with her I dress stylish but down to not attract any immediate reaction from anyone. The few time when I have gone out alone I always show more skin, cleavage, legs, and higher heels. And while I am not dressed this way to meet or hook up with anyone I do enjoy the satisfaction of being noticed for just how sexy I look (or think I look). I want to imagine myself as that woman you see from across the room who you can't take your eyes off of while remaining safely across the room.

Unlike some here and like a lot of others for me it's not about being myself. I am a male and very comfortable with that fact. It's about becoming and living the illusion I have created for a short period of time. It's an escape from reality like an actor getting wrapped up in playing a part. I enjoy it tremendously but know it's only temporary and that is what make it so important to be able to do.

[Suzanne F]

I never thought it would be possible. Now that I do it on a regular basis it would not be possible to stop. I have to be able to express myself. I have finally accepted that I am transgendered. For me it is about interacting with the world as the woman I always wanted to be. I know that is not the reality for everyone here. I think you will know if you try it once. My first step out of the car was like I can finally breathe! I love being out and about. I look forward to one day being able to do everything I do as a male en femme.
Suzanne

[Cheryl T]

As Karren said, getting dressed and sitting around the house is boring.
At first it was nerve wracking to go out in public fearing discovery by friends and family, but then the fear disappated as I went out more and more. It's a natural thing to want to be part of the world around us and since this is such a part of us it is I believe natural for us to want to express this is public.
As for family or friends recognizing me, well I don't think that would happen unless I spoke to them. My wife is fully supportive and goes with me. We have an understanding that if we see someone we know we tip each other off and then separate so that the person(s) don't have the opportunity to relate one to the other. It is just easier that way.
As for confrontation I have not experienced it yet, but then again being 6' and about 185 it would be a group that I would worry about, not an individual and as yet that hasn't happened. I also make sure to be aware of my surroundings as any woman would. Avoid situations that might lead to a problem and just all around be careful.
But ultimately, yes, I needed to go out and having done so I enjoy doing it whenever I can.

[Maggie O'neal]

I would love to venture out but I am not brave enough yet!

[suzy1]

I have no need whatsoever?

Sometimes I feel like I am inadequate or missing something when I read all these replies…… but most of the time I just breeze through life a happy bunny.:)

[EmilyS]

Up until recently it was not all that important to go out. However that has changed and I have the urge/need to go out.

Emily

[terri_sandal]

Very important ...the feeling of the breeze around your legs the sound of your heels on the pavement all heaven to me
To be able to go out and blend in feels fantastic

[Laura28]

I have not yet ventured past the door. The most got was at the hotel late in the evening going to the coke machine. But the urge is so strong to go out I know I will get the courge up. It is funny I never really had the urge in the past to go out or even share my dressing with anyone even my wife (although she has always known) but now I want to share it with her more then anything I am hoping one day she will want to see fully dressed in person and not just pictures. I also shared it with GG friend and it felt so good she has seen me dressed and loved it. I am so curious about venturing out and see if I could pass. Not to mention I would love to be able scuff the soles of my heels on the ground and not just carpet. Lol. I have set a goal to gout this year so it will happen.

[KaceyR]

To be honest...once I started putting on full clothes and trying makeup..(not just underdressing) I figured right then and there that I'd be trying to go out sometime. To a certain extent.. I've kind of grown with age to be a person that just sees a "fear wall" and just wants to bulldoze thru it. I guess considering earlier-in-life fears and seeing where sitting around dreading those got me has made me more this way. That's why I plowed thru fears of telling mom, friends, etc (although there was other logic to those as well).
So the first part is not wanting to waste time dreading things.
The 2nd part is validation. To see how well I can "be convincing" as a dressed woman. i'm sure that I'll not be the best with all that. Some mannerisms and all. But if I can get out, look good, and feel good that's the main thing. (tomorrow will be my first "out" day...Kacey's getting pampered. Mani-pedi in morning, MAC makeover in afternoon and some shopping).
So Its a big "plowing" day. (hopefully it won't be a bad snowplowing day.. :) Winter sucks for up north CDers... (I need to get a winter coat and boots too...)

Overall, it's a bit lonely to me to be just alone at home, dressing. Sure it's fun, relaxing. But just doesn't feel like a complete experience.

[Genifer Teal]

I really don't dress to sit around at home. Have you heard the one: "If a CD goes out and no one takes a picture, does it count?" Well if no one sees me, I feel what is the point? This is me and how I feel. I am so lucky to live in NYC where acceptance is much higher that in other areas. This certainly makes it easier. I am not full time. Mostly just my social time.

[Nadine Spirit]

I probably dressed partially for about 20 years before it occurred to me to fully dress and the thought of going out never occurred at all. But then for some reason something changed and I wanted to fully dress. Then shortly thereafter I wanted to go out. I looked my fear in the eyes, and went for it. Scared the crap out of me, but felt right. So I did it again, and again, and again and...

Then shortly after that I realized I was almost dressing exclusively to go out. Is it important? No, but it sure is fun. Oh and yeah, I assume that I am being "read." But I honestly don't really care. I may pass at a glance from others, but when I start interacting with the public, they sure as heck know I am most certainly a male.

[CynthiaD]

I go out occasionally, but not often. I find the experience quite liberating. As far as I'm concerned, going out "doesn't count" unless I interact with others. I don't much care if I pass, but I want to look like I've "made the effort."

[mysticalkatie2014]

I love going out but unfortuately I dont do it enough x

[wanagione]

I have to agree with Karren, I sat in the house way to many years, and it is boring as hell. I love getting out, I ride my bicycle, hike, go to the art museum, ect...

[kimdl93]

Fear of attack or fear of ridicule are largely just that. If you go out in daylight to public places, and dress in a manner that is respectful of others, there's no reason to worry.

I would not go out without the knowledge of my spouse. I think that's disrespectful.

[Madeline80]

I don't live in an area that I that I perceive as very accepting. The one time that I have been full on out in public was in Las Vegas (can't wait to go back!). And even there i was like a deer in the headlights. I'm trying to figure out where the fear is coming from and I think it is just not wanting to be read or cause some kind of scene. I think I am at the point where being more passable would involve hormones, and that is not the path I'm on. It really is a bummer to spend a couple hours getting "ready" to sit home.

[Jackie7]

WHat kendra_gurl said.

I love blending into the parade of people, and i love the responses I get when I'm read close up. It's all thrilling.

[carhill2mn]

I am one of those who is fortunate enough to be able to go out in public frequently. I enjoy looking like a woman, acting and being treated as a lady! It is a unique experience!

[Ellie52]

Leigh I think it all comes down to personal taste. You could ask a thousand different people and get a thousand different replies.
Prior to joining this forum I had no intention of going out in public - it never even crossed my mind. Several people put the idea into my mind and eventually I decided to do it. And like everything I do it had to be all or nothing. I decided to go to the wig shop where I bought my wig from and then go to the local shopping centre. This would be Monday lunch time (Very busy).
I put on my favorite pink suit with full make up and headed out the door. I drove 45 mins to the wig shop and they were fantastic (after they realized who I was). They convinced me I would pass muster in the shops so I went for lunch and coffee and a look around the shops. It was OK and I think I passed (to my knowledge anyway) but I wouldn't say I really enjoyed it.
To put things in perspective.
1) I don't like shopping.
2) I couldn't see the point of it - I am a guy and I am happy to be a guy so it was more like fancy dress.
3) After the initial panic wore off I felt a bit silly and wanted to go home and change.

I must point out that these are MY views only.
After this outing I did a couple more. One to a local Marina on a very busy school holidays. Again there were no adverse reactions but I felt silly again.
So for the future I cannot see any more outings as I don't get anything out of it. I prefer the sanctuary of my house where I can sit down with my wife and get a glass of wine or a coffee and relax. ...Ellie

[njcddresser]

The urge to go out fully enfemme is getting stronger today. Today I went out wearing a pair of girly jeans, a little make up and my boobies. I was actually hoping to get an acknowledgement from someone but no one really seemed to notice.

Went to the movies and ran a few errands.

Tonight my wife and I went to dinner while I was dressed in the same outfit.

Perhaps Thursday I'll go out fully enfemme.

[Miriam-J]

I wouldn't just sit around home while in guy mode, and I don't see any reason for it to be any different in gal mode. I find fulfillment in living a full and complete life in either mode, and that means getting out to do normal activities. Since my wife has helped me to easily pass and blend as a gal in nearly every situation, there are few impediments for most activites. There are limits, of course, since my gal side is necessarily hidden from work, our grown children, and most friends, but that just restricts the company I keep. All this helps me to feel complete as a person rather than feeling trapped in the home.

Regarding some of the other issues you raised... Safety isn't really an issue as long as I stick to the same guidelines as any other gal: lighted, public places. I don't worry much about being recognized, especially when I'm out on my own rather than out of any familiar context. I don't think even family members could to identify me with any certainty as ambiguity and their own expectations would prevent them from making the connection.

Miriam

[Jackiefl]

I like dressing up and going out and very fortunate to have an accepting wife. We have been to many places over the past 25 years and i'm no beauty queen lol ! I try to dress my age when i'm out with my wife out of respect for such a wonderful spouse. This past weekend we went to disney world and universal studios in orlando,fl and had a wonderful weekend as a couple of women.

[Paulette]

Dressing and going out are hands to mittens, they go together. Once I stopped worrying about what people would say it was very easy. Now I have a couple of GG friends and some CD friends who like doing things which entails going out. I have spent several days in a row dressed and doing all sorts of normal activities that any other person would do, I just happen to be dressed as a female. If the event calls for pants and flats, I am good with that, just as i am with a nice dress and heels for other events. I always have a girl friend when going out at night for dinner or a movie, which the GG's will tell you they also do. Women a long time ago discovered that being with some one is more fun than being alone. If I am going to spent the time to look fantastic (the best I can be) then I am not hiding form anyone. Look around the biggest worry a lot of the girls here will have is being too well dressed and groomed. An Evening or cocktail dress in WalMart will stand out. I dress all of the time with the exception of work, which I must do to afford the dual wardrobes. So to sum it all up I dress and go out because there are things to see and do and oh so much fun enjoying life.

[lingerieLiz]

When young I couldn't resist going out and being the true "girl" I thought I was to shop etc. Eventually work and dating interceded and over time I did less going out in fem. Now I wear women's clothes, but don't try to pass. I don't wear dresses or skirts anymore so it is fairly easy to be out and around.

[Terri Andrews]

I love going out as Terri .
I also deal with self esteem issues ,as a guy and a girl,but I try to leave that at the door and enjoy my time out.

[Diane Smith]

Once I started going out fully dressed about 16 years ago, the desire to dress up at home almost completely disappeared. Now, all my activities are completely focused on going out and being seen in public. This required, among other things, an all new wardrobe. Darn!

- Diane

[NathalieX66]

I'm out & about in the public eye, and I love it!
This is a part of me that I will never give up. It is me.

[grace7777]

To me going out in public is now very important.

When I first started CDing I was content with dressing at home. It took me a few years before I went out in public. When I first started going out it was to cd/gay bars. Then I expanded my going out to movie theaters. Eventually I eliminated the bar scene. Movie theaters seemed a great place since I could be dressed yet would be in a dark theater so I would not be terribly noticeable. Then eventually I started going clothes shopping en femme. At first it was in the evening and over time I would go shopping earlier and earlier. Then I started to go to restaurants. After that I started to spend whole days dressed en femee and expanding to consecutive whole days. Now I even do more ordinary things like grocery shopping en femme. The major limiting factor for me now being dressed en femme is my job.

One of things that has helped me gain more confidence was getting makeup lessons from a professional make up artist.

Diane, I have found also that my desire to dress at home all made up en femme has gone down since I am now going out in public more. When at home now I wear a night gown or a female night shirt. Acutally at home it is becoming rarer and rarer to wear male clothing around the apartment.

[Beverley Sims]

I am fortunate in having been there and done that.
My desire for public outings is just another way of getting out and I place less importance on it now than I did in the past.
For me it is a leisure time activity when I am on holidays or away from my residential area.

[Marcelle]

Hi Leigh,

I go out not so much for need of going out but in order to interact with the world around me as me. Sometimes that is male and sometimes that is female. It is both exciting and scary at the same time but once I am out and relax, it is very enjoyable. I interact with those around me and everyone knows I am a guy but most are gracious and to be honest I am at the point that I do not care. I have come out to so many colleagues and friends now that most people know. However, those who don't know would probably never recognize me as boy me.

Going out is a personal decision and when you are ready, you will know it. When I first showed up here last year, I had no thought of dressing "en femme" past the confines of our house. However as I got better with make-up and presentation I realized very quickly that the "light of day" was calling Isha forward. So I equate my first outing to my first military parachute jump, I had all my kit on, I was hooked up standing in a line of others, the door was open and the green light was lit, the line moved forward, the door got closer and before I knew it . . . nothingness. The standard fears of the chute not opening, tangled risers and the like dissipated when I looked up and saw that big canopy of safety overhead . . . landing different story. :)

Going out is similar, once you throw yourself through the door into nothingness (the world), you take a deep breath and look around, and you realize the fears you had are not that scary. Besides the view is great from 1000 feet. :)


Don't worry sweetie, you will know when and if you are ready. Don't rush to the green light until you are truly are ready. I also agree with others, going out and not telling your SO, not a good idea.

Hugs

Isha

[Adriana Moretti]

its not IMPORTANT to me.....but it sure is fun......I have always enjoyed going out

[Helen_Highwater]

Leigh,
Having read the replies here it made me think as to what was the driving factor in taking the first steps out and then it struck me. It was being able to take more "steps". At home the furthest I can walk without turning around to go back is a matter of a few yards. What I wanted to experience was "walking a mile in her shoes" so to speak. Additionally, the way a dress or skirt feels outdoors as opposed to indoors is vastly different. Certainly in the beginning I deliberately avoided contact with others (fear) but this has subsided somewhat as I gain more experience and confidence.
My guess is if there's that little voice in your head saying "Go" then it's a matter of when and not if you'll venture out. Read the threads, seek advice but above all take each small step one at a time.

[FemmeElastique]

For me, going out is very important. When I dress, I want others to see me, whether on webcam or going out in public.

[Lexi Moralas]

I would add something to this thread. But Kendra gurl already said every thing I would have said better than I would have said it. Lol

[LaraPeterson]

I feel like going out. Come on, let's go!

[gautier_nikolai]

Fairly important.

I'm tired of hiding the expression of my true self and personailty.I don't judge others unless they judge me.And they better know better not to start judging a gay man now!! lol

It's more fun too and i'm a nice person most of the time!:p

[GinaD]

Going out into the public eye dressed as a girl was the most exciting but scary moments of my then young life. The more I did it, the more I wanted to go about my world as a girl. Although many years have now passed, spending most of my time as Gina and going where ever I please provides a strange sense of completeness. There have been some painful times to be sure but I can't imagine not being able to be Gina. I'm very fond of the old broad!

[Brooklyn]

I love experiencing the world as a woman. Most of our gendered activity comes through our interactions with other people. Playing with hair and makeup at home can be fun, but stepping out is where the rubber meets the road for me.

[PretzelGirl]

I don't normally dress to do an activity. I dress because it is a new day. So it may be to go out or it may be to sit around the house. Whatever I planned for the day is fine. I don't have a problem interacting with anyone and only a few in-laws don't know at this point. I haven't run into one dressed in a couple of years. It is pretty easy to react to if you are aware of your surroundings.


Sometimes I feel like I am inadequate or missing something when I read all these replies…… but most of the time I just breeze through life a happy bunny.:)

Now we have seen your pictures Suzy. Inadequate was never in any of them. The happy bunny says it all!

[victoriamwilliams1]

At some point you will feel the need to be out in public. When this happens my suggestion is to take it slow and go away from the town you live in. One of the best areas I found to get going in is areas where you have collages. You can also look at LGBT freindly places for the area you choose and go to those places to get started.

I know for me I drive 50 miles away from home and pretty much dress for the time of day which is also important. Over time I find I am addressed as a woman now 99.9% of the time and I am 6'8" and wear 2.5 inch heels.

It is possible for you to be happy and once you start going out you will never want to stay in again for a long period.

[windycissy]

I live for it!

[Finally Happy]

I have an SO that is completely supportive, but the validation from going public (especially passing) is huge for me.

[suzy1]

At some point you will feel the need to be out in public. .

Allow me to rephrase this for you if I may be so bold.
At some point some of you will feel the need to be out in public. I don’t! :eek:

[I do get a bit tetchy on this point sometimes don’t I girls]:heehee:

[Saikotsu]

Honestly, even if I could, I don't think I'd want to go full fem. It would be nice if I could go outside and not have to worry about what I'm wearing, so I could mix and match my styles. I guess for me, I want it, but I don't want it, if that makes sense. Maybe that's just the stage I'm at.

[Gwinnie]

I never thought I wanted to. Then I came out to my wife and I've been wanting to more and more. She is fine with it. Just worried people will make fun of me and hurt me. I can see that as I feel the same way. I'm also worried about what to do with her while out. She and I are very touchy feely. Would we still do that? Tell people we're lesbians? Would she call me my real name or Gwendolyn? I go back and forth so much. I have yet to go out as I don't have a wig or any even realistic looking breasts. I want to go out to a mall to go shopping. Get a mani/pedi with my wife. Have lunch somewhere. I want to walk around with our dresses swishing in the breeze together. Maybe someday. Maybe not. I can't decide.

Gwendolyn

[PaulaQ]

Well, since I'm 24/7, going out in public is pretty important to me - I mean, I'll run out of groceries if I don't! Oops, sorry /trans.

On a more serious note - the first few times I went out in public were the most exhilarating and liberating experiences I'd ever had. It was as if I'd gotten a day pass out of prison, and was free to roam around the world for a few hours. I loved it. It was scary at first, but I didn't let it stop me, although I changed in a restroom at the local LGBT center the first couple of times I was out of my house. Eventually, I started leaving the house en femme, although not visiting the tiny rural town near where I lived - I drove to Tulsa. My friends actually saw me once - my car is really distinctive - but by then, my wife had outed me to, well, everyone, anyway.

Again though - trans.

[julia marie]

The urge to get out of the house while dressed hit me early on in my time as a CD. I realized that I was wearing clothes that I liked (and makeup and wig) for hours in the house and when it was time to go to lunch or take the dog for a walk (or even take out the trash-- the boy chore that even a skirt won't make go away), I felt the need to change into guy clothes. Since I wasn't ready to show up as a woman in my neighborhood (and still am not ready) I figured that there had to be places where I really could go as a woman. Afterall, clothes are meant to be worn. So, I leave the house in stealth mode (no wig, maybe sweatpants over the skirt) and drive to places where I can feel comfortable (malls, gay bars, etc.). That just completes the male to female transformation for me, and the benefit is that I can be perfectly comfortable buying clothes and makeup. (Having the courage to show my female side to the neighbors would be nice, but the time isn't right).

[Vanessa5]

Not nessasarily the most important thing for me but I do enjoy the few times I get to go out. The more I go out the more I want to. Now I would like to meet others and form some friendships locally.

[Emma Leigh]

Dont want to at all..though I have and that went well enough...and I prolly will again even though I still dont want to

[teri g]

Important but not often possible. I'm like those that lead a busy life and it's just as much a matter of "taking care of business" as it is going out while dressed. In other words I would like to be able to just do whatever I'm doing while wearing whatever I want. But this is in the context of dadt, not wanting to be read in my community etc.

[Alexaduggal]

I'm dying to go out dressed. It is all I think about.

[Sue Too]

I am out and about on an almost daily basis. I'm not out to neighbors but I have no problem leaving or returning to my residence. Being out is a large part of my existence. I strive to blend in and view each days outing as a small validation that I am doing something right. I guess to some degree I have succeeded. In four years of almost daily outings I have never had an incident where I was openly challenged. I'm sure I've been read but so what? They don't bother me. I'm now at the point where I go almost anyplace I want, en femme. To those of you considering the big step I suggest you move ahead. Pick your challenges carefully. When you win you will gain confidence and composure. Confidence is what it is all about. It is the most liberating experience of my lifetime. Good luck.

Susan in Phoenix

[MarisaRose.]

It's extremely important to be able to go out as Marisa, it's part of my need to keep some semblance of balance in my life. To be someone as special as I am and not be able to express myself is just not possible anymore... Being out, is being out!!!

[Stephanie47]

Cross dressing for me is a private affair. I have ventured out fully en femme. The first and only times I interacted with people was at Halloween. Twice I dolled myself up and wnet shopping in the evening. Many years later when my wife was away visiting family in the mid west I went out for evening strolls. I was dolled up. I loved the feeling of the cool fall air caressing my legs. It was fun for awhile, but, the desire subsided. I am content to seek the peace and tranquility of my home and back yard. I do much of my chores totally en femme. Being en femme has become so relaxing and natural I don't even notice I'm en femme. I will say, if I was five foot six and not six foot even, I would venture out more openly.

[Lexi_83]

Can't tell you how many times I got dressed and then chickened out. Getting some makeup dress and accessory help from g&g friends helped my confidence. The first few times I was read I thought I was going to die - but I didn't.

Most people are pretty polite and if you are dressed well enough that they can't be certain you aren't a woman, they will usually treat you as one. Guys generally ignore you unless you are pretty or have big boobs, some women don't notice, some notice and will smile or be friendly, some notice and don't approve but don't say anything.

If it's daytime,clear sunglasses!

[Alice_2014_B]

Right now it is private for me.
I have only been out once en femme.
Today I bought some makeup and a bra.
Looking forward to going out soon.

[Caden Lane]

Its a defining point in the evolution the facet of my life that is Caden.

[shawnablack77]

Omg today was my first time out and I loved it. First I took my dog for a walk, no one noticed me. Then I went out just by myself, I walked to downtown. While walking a lady yelled mam at me, then asked where a bus stop was. I was so nervous about my voice, I did the best I could and didn't say much except that I thought it was down that way. Well she said okay and continued to walk. A lot of cars passed me, no problems. There was people walking to but no one noticed. I stopped to look at myself in a window and It felt so good to see myself as a girl. It felt so great, now I just want to go out more. It made me feel so happy.

[Rachael Leigh]

Shawn I feel ya girl, I felt the same this past week in my first outing, I never realized how liberating it was going to be. I don't have lots of chances to go out and not sure how often I will be now that I did it it was a wow moment
So happy for you

[shawnablack77]

Thanks, I've got the walking fem pretty much down pat. just need to work on my voice. But I just can't wait to go stores like Walmart and do some clothes shopping, get the makeup I want and just have fun. Everyone I've told said they had no idea I was a CD. That makes me feel great too :)

[Kit]

I wish it could be an integral part of my life, but work and other related things prevents that. What has happened is going to anime and other nerdy conventions has become more important to me, because cross-dressing as female characters isn't that unusual and I don't have to worry about running into people from work xD

[Alice B]

I've found it more important than I first thought. Not something I can do every day or week, but I find I must get out from time to time for the fun of it and to see friends I have made during my journey.

[Jaylah414]

I'd love to go out in public. It's a dream, but I sometimes think I'm a couple of life times away from being ready.

[marsha leanne]

i have gone out, and it was both scary and exciting. I think that it may happen again,... someday. Right now, it is not that pressing of a need, but I know it can be. I read all your adventures and take pleasure in all of them. Its great, just not for me right now. Why? i have no idea. i am totally content staying at home and in the back yard.

[Erica Anne]

I have gone out a few times, the experience was exhilarating. Enchanting, very enlightening. Every year there was a GLBT celebration at the park near where I lived. (within walking distance). The participants would march down the main street from the courthouse to the park. It put a smile on my face to see the parade. I would think to myself, I should get dressed up and join them. I never had the courage to do so. I eventually did and wow, I never felt more alive than that day. All I was wearing was a leather pleated miniskirt, suntan shade pantyhose (they were low waist kicks, those were the best hose I ever had), a bra, mens shirt and docksiders. I wanted to wear heels but the grounds were not suitable for heels in most places. Best of all the police where there on patrol so I felt safe.

Shortly after that I came out to my ex-sister in law. She said wear what you want when you come over, we don't mind. I must have had 20 outings including Halloween. Basic men's tee shirt, short mini skirt and heels. Those times were great and I was able to go in public as me without hiding who I was. I was not trying to pass as a woman, I just wanted to be me. I had shoulder length hair so no need for a wig. Now I barely have any hair, may consider it now.

[ChristinaK]

I have no idea why just this year I have wanted to go out, but this forum has given me the courage based on others experiences. I have only gone out fully dressed and in makeup/hair in my car, but have gone shopping partially with light makeup several times. I can't explain it, but being in public is extremely gratifying. Acting as a woman just feels wonderful. When ma'amed at a drive through I was on top of the world. When I was ogled by a man, I felt like a REAL woman, although I have no desire to really be one. Adventure? Excitement? Alter ego? All I know is that it is something I wish I had the courage to do many years ago. For you young girls, if you feel like doing it, don't let your fears hold you back, but be smart in how you do it.

[ChristineNYC]

I LIVE for being 'out', and I can't imagine not being able to. Originally being from a small island in Florida, going 'out' was usually out of the question. Moving to New York City is the best thing I ever did. It took me just a short while to realize that NOBODY CARES! People have been nothing short of accepting and complimentary! People hold doors open for me, guys (and ladies!) send me drinks.. it's just wonderful! In the beginning, I wouldn't venture out alone, only with girlfriends or in a group. Then one night I was in a position that I had to walk 10 blocks through Hell's Kitchen to meet up with my group. Since that night, I have NO problem being out alone, in fact, I prefer to be alone, as by myself I do not attract any unwanted attention. In the beginning, I mainly went to gay dance clubs as I figured that as 'part' of the LGBT community, I'd be most accepted. The truth is, that's not really the case. I've never had any bad experiences, but I have noticed that many in the lesbian community (in these clubs) seem to feel like we're somehow competing with them, and the gay community (again, in these clubs) are just not interested, usually, in someone who is presenting as female. I always, or usually, felt accepted, but I've found it much more fun and rewarding to just primarily stick with more mainstream places (restaurants, clubs, bars, theatres, museums) and I totally love all the positive attention that I receive from the public!

[sarahspinkdress]

It's a big ol' milestone for sure. Maybe the biggest since "Maybe I'll try this on..." lol

[natcrys]

I started dressing properly when I was 19.. and one year later, I already had the desire to go outside of my student-room. Thankfully, I had a very supportive girlfriend and that helped me take the first plunge. Because yes... for most of us who get to this point that they want to experience more than the comfort and safety of their homes, it will be a plunge! And you can be fully prepared and take all precautions, but that first time will be an explosive cocktails of excitement, fear, anxiety, joy and other feelings. Whether is this ends up leaving a good aftertaste and an increased desire to go out more.. that's up to each person.

The most important thing (imho) is.. do you really want to go out? If not.. that's cool. Don't feel pressured by others who do go out. :)

If yes.. then be sensible and be realistic. Don't go to any places or cities where they are not accepting of LGBT people. Dress sensibly if you want to blend in.

Be prepared to get read.. because most of us will get read. Because of the face, the body, the movements, the voice, whatever.

Only you can determine what the risks are if your friends/family/co-workers recognize you.. and if these risks are acceptable. That's why I don't go out in a couple of cities because of the large number of relatives. At this point, it's still better for me that my family doesn't know.

However, most of all... if you do decide to go out... try to enjoy it! The first time.. all that adrenaline surging through your body... there not quite a feeling like that! :D

[elliemoss]

For me it's vital to the dressing femme experience. It took me a long time to pluck up the courage. I would stand with my hand on the door handle for an hour with my heart thumping. Then I would only go out really late when it was dark and there was no one around. Then I would go around the block, then I went to a CD club and after that experience when I met so many nice people (and really enjoyed being chatted up by men) I never looked back. It seems like a lot of trouble to go to the expense and time to dress then not go out. Each small step creates confidence and it gets addictive. I always want to out do the previous experience. My next aim is to go out in the day time. Was thinking last night as I was walking in London in the rain with my cute brolly up, a rainy night or day is a great chance for someone who isnt too confident or might not think of themselves as passable yet to go out as the umbrella covers your you from the neck up to passers by.

[Devi is here]

I'm to scared to venture out right now,lol

[Alice B]

I find it very important and as others say there is a thrill element to it. But mostly gives me a chance to more openly express myself and let the woman in me be free. I don't go out every day or even weekly, but when the chance is there I may get out several times in a month, plus I go to DLV where I can dress openly 7/24 for a week. Very liberating.