When is it crossdressing?

[Paula DAngelo]

You would think that this would be an easy question to answer. When a male dresses as a female, or a female dress as a male you would normally say that they are cross dressing (excluding people that are doing it as a gag, or for some type of event, ie Rocky Horror Picture show, etc). That's an easy explanation for someone that identifies their gender with the sex that they were born as. Where it becomes less clear is when you talk about the people like myself, the ones that identify as the opposite gender than what they were born (transsexuals). This could be some one like myself that is in the process of coming up with a plan on how to go about correcting the descrepency, all the way through someone that has already completed their plan is in the process. Outside of work I live my life as Paula (I have to play the game at work if I want to keep my job, at least for now). So what I'm wondering is, when is it that I'm really cross dressing. I identify as female, so am i cross dressing when I'm at work and presenting as a male, or am I cross dressing when I'm not at work and presenting as female, the gender that I identify with?

I guess the real question that I've got is, is cross dressing dependent on your sex, or your gender? I know as silly as it sounds I've given this a lot of thought and at least for me I feel it would be when you are dressing opposite the gender that you identify with. So in my case I would be cross dressed when I'm presenting as a male.

Hopefully I didn't make this to confusing. Sort of throws a whole new wrinkle in things when you think of it this way.

[Jenniferathome]

From the outside, it is all about your sex. It really does't matter what we think ourselves. We are only one person. The public is nearly infinite and they see a cross dresser when a man is dressed in traditional women's clothing. I think when John Q Public sees a woman dressed in traditional men's attire (even that is hard to define) they see a lesbian. Funny how that works.

As a guy who identifies as male and occasionally cross dresses, I think when I bought breast forms, was when I went, "I'm a cross dresser." Don't know why that was my "moment."

[Zylia]

First of all, male and female are fine adjectives, but I think 'man' and 'woman' are perfectly acceptable words to describe male and female specimen of the homo sapiens species :D Your mileage may vary though.

I'd say it's dependent on your gender.

It may depend on how you define sex and gender, but I think your sex is a given (certain anomalies notwithstanding) and what you can (physically) change are (the looks of) certain sex characteristics via hormone treatment or surgery. If it was dependent on your physical sex, any trans man or woman would remain a 'cross-dresser' for the rest of their lives, semantically speaking.

I think you are the gender you (personally) identify as regardless of your presentation/physicality. If you present as the other gender and/or wear clothing made for the other gender, you're cross-dressing. I get Jennifer's point though, if you look like someone you presents as the opposite gender (a 'bloke in a dress' for lack of a better word) people may think you're a cross-dresser or whatever derogatory word they can come up with.

[Tracii G]

No need in trying to put a label on yourself.
Just be yourself and travel down the path you feel is best for you.

[I Am Paula]

I think you left cross dressing at the way side some time ago. You are female, who, through societal pressures, has to play dressup for 40 hours a week.

[Kate Simmons]

The appropriate therapy would help to answer that question for you. Other than that, all I can say is "flip a coin". :battingeyelashes::)

[Wildaboutheels]

When is someone, anyone, male or female fat? Or overweight? Crossdressing is just a word.

If you see a nice looking couple [up close] out and about and one is "clearly" a male and the other "clearly" a female B U T they are wearing matching flannel shirts, which one is "crossdressing"?

I have a feeling that you are trying to figure out how to deal with people at work should one of them "bust you" somewhere? Depending on how many you work with, some will be able to understand but there is simply no way to know.

You seem to know where you want to go which I see as a big plus.

[Beverley Sims]

To answer the question.

You get up really late on a Monday morning, you have missed the bus, the car wont start and you decide to take a sickie.
You are halfway through getting dressed and the doorbell rings...........

That is cross dressing. :)

[Cheryl T]

Crossdressing is wearing the clothing of the opposite sex from which you were naturally born.
Doesn't matter what sex ... or what clothes. Beyond that it's all just a big discussion.

[Paula DAngelo]

Reading some of the responses I'm thinking that there was some confusion on what I was really asking. I wasn't asking what I was, I already have a good idea of that. It also wasn't about what society thinks, we all have a good idea of what that is. It was more that I was wondering is cross dressing really about dressing different than your sex or your gender, and what others thought about it.

[Paula DAngelo]

I think you left cross dressing at the way side some time ago. You are female, who, through societal pressures, has to play dressup for 40 hours a week.

I like the way you put that, "playing dress up for 40 hours a week". :)

[Majella St Gerard]

That's why I don't like labels, but if I had to choose, I'd have to use cross dresser as a term to describe myself. I identify myself as male and present myself as a man in women's clothes.

[Zylia]

Reading some of the responses I'm thinking that there was some confusion on what I was really asking. I wasn't asking what I was, I already have a good idea of that. It also wasn't about what society thinks, we all have a good idea of what that is. It was more that I was wondering is cross dressing really about dressing different than your sex or your gender, and what others thought about it.
You have to remember you're on a website frequented by a lot of men, so whenever you ask a question here, people think you got a problem you need solving and there's obviously only one right answer or solution to every problem :D The whole concept of just wondering what other people think about a subject regardless of who is right is quite novel to a lot of us.

[AllieSF]

In my opinion you are crossdressing when you go to work dressed as a male. I totally disagree with Cheryl T above. Based on her definition TS's will always be crossdressing when they dress to their correct gender, and that makes no sense at all. I do like that "playing dress up 40 hours a week" statement.

One of the interesting things to consider is it really crossdressing if the intent is not to look or act like a woman and the wearing of women's clothes helps satisfy the minds or inner being's needs?

That being said, I do not think about this at all and really do not care. What surprises me is that worrying or over thinking about that definition when you have so much more on your plate to think about and deal with is such a waste of time and mental energy. My recommendation is to forget about it and concentrate your time and energies on the important things that you can do something about. I say this because you said that you have given this a lot of thought.

[Ally 2112]

When i first started doing this i was really not sure what it was .But as i seen on tv or books and eventually the net i learned (for me) it was called being a transvestite (i never did like that term ) or crossdressing .So for me im a crossdresser:)

[Talisker]

Id say a man in dress is a crossdresser. M2F transexual in dress is just normal but if she puts on male clothes thats crossdressing again :)
if you dont like that, make up whatever definition makes you happy. Wouldnt worry about it.

[LaraPeterson]

Get a penectomy, castration, & breast implants and then go get a genetic blood test. Your gender was fixed at birth. What you do to change it is all cosmetic, no matter how you think of yourself. Before you jump on me, I want to do all those things. It might be a little too late for me because of age, but it would still be nice to present completely in the way of think of myself.

This is a struggle that's not ever going to be answered adequately, I fear. To try to answer your question, and I believe it has already been adequately addressed in this thread, you are cross dressing when you wear the clothes normally equated with the "opposite" sex. It's not confusing at all--except to those of us who are struggling with it.