how worried are you about being caught?

[JessMe]

So I've been looking at this forum for a while now; and I am curious as to how many of us are petrified of being caught/noticed/recognized. I myself am scared "s-less" of being found out by someone in the general public, but others seem unconcerned, and still others seem to like to tempt fate with a captive audience (e.g. "panties at the doctor's office" etc.) ...so, I guess what I'm asking is: on a one to ten scale (one being least concerned, ten being most) where would you put yourself as far as being worried about it?

[marsha leanne]

i would have to say 7-8. I don't go out, that would put it at 11!. at home we are dadt, but it still ranks up there at 8. Been caught by now exwife, wasnt pretty, but i lived. she moved on. alls good now. but i know where you are coming from!

[erica12b]

I am too, could loose alot ,but also think i might gain some too

[Eryn]

The key qualifier is "by who?"

If I am read by a random person far from home it is of no consequence. When I first started going out I would have been mortified, but experience has taught me that it is a non-event.

Now, being discovered by someone from my work life would be a bit more of a problem. I'm not concerned about my job as we have reasonably good TG protection laws here, but it would make things unnecessarily awkward.

[Alice Torn]

I have not been caught in person yet, but once,. a senior citizen woman i was temporarily staying with, found my wrist bangles in the bathroom, while i was out, and left them on my bed. On FACEBOOK, I have outed myself to some people, and none of them liked it. I have been lectured to, about quitting this, the way someone would quit smoking or drinking. I left high heel dents in a newer kitchen floor, and used a heat gun, and lots of floor finish, to hide them. Some are still quite noticable, but so far, nothing said. I am terrified about being caught by my older brother, or sister, or someone who know them. I am trying to dress less often, and not let it take over my whole life.

[JessMe]

I'm referring to someone in your community. ...for me, in a small, tightknit community of ardent Christians (don't bother trying to find something to do on a Sunday...) it would mean something terrible for me... not that I'm a pillar or fixture of the community, but alienation and hushed whispers would be certain.

[nvlady]

I am terrified at the thought of getting caught although I believe my ex wife outed me to the people I used to work with (I'm retired now), but being my friends as well as my co-workers, nobody even dropped a hint about it.

[Rachel_B]

I worry about getting 'read' or caught every time I go out dressed, granted I go 45 minutes from where I live but there is still the chance of running into somebody you know or of just being read.

I remember one day where I was dressed and went to Victoria's Secret to browse the new items the store got. I also went there to see if I could fit in a long line bra that I wanted to get and when I left the fitting room, I thought I had seen somebody from work and I felt like my face went white then beet red. I didn't want her to notice me so I put the item back and left. I don't use make up so I didn't want to stay in the store and get recognized. It turned out alright because had the been somebody from my workplace, she might have said something to me or to another employee and it would have come back to
me anyway.

I mean if I can go out wearing a strapless dress that hits at the knees with no make-up on and be read as a female, I'm doing ok

[Kate Simmons]

Zero most likely Hon. :heehee::)

[KaceyR]

For the most part, getting caught here where I live by anyone isn't much of an issue anymore. I'd rather not that workplace people and possibly 1 friend not know (he's _very_ much against the "unusual" as far as LBGT openness). Work people "shouldn't" have an issue...that's all basically as long as I'm not dressing at work..except for next Halloween...they're gonna get it bigtime then :). Pretty much the others I don't think would have an issue. They might question, but would be tolerant enough.

Now for the small town where mom's at..(Plymouth-NW IN) that's a different thing. Lots of conservativeness. Lots of recognition.. and even my car with MI plates (and a big Detroit Tigers "D" on the window :)) would make people look closer. I still thought it would be nice to get to a get-together sometime on the West side of MI or to the SB/Mishawaka area on a trip to mom's. But I'd definitely need to make sure Kacey's gone around mom's city.

[Rachael Leigh]

I would give it a 6 if I ever go out. I'm becoming more confidant that I could face someone I know and while at first I might be a little embarrassed I think I could handle the rejection of some people.
Just not all sure yet and I'm sure that's what keeps be from going out.
I actually think my level would be a 10 plus if it were my wife who caught me going out enfem

[heatherdress]

As Eryn said "By Whom?"

Most of us would not really care about being noticed by people we do not know. Most likely 1 on a scale of 1-10.

People around us at a mall or restaurant or park who might make us feel uncomfortable - maybe a 2 or 3.

Acquaintances or someone who knows us to some extent - maybe 6 or 7.

Work colleagues/neighbors/family - 9 or 10.

[Rogina B]

I am caught ! Because I live a gender fluid life and only present as a guy while working for myself,everyone knows...And that doesn't make a bit of difference to me at all..

[Persephone]

I used to be totally terrorized of being caught en femme by someone I knew. Had a couple very close calls over time.

But freedom comes with being out. Pretty much everyone in my extensive social network knows, so what's to worry about?

Well, for me there is something to worry about. There are now a lot of folks I know and interact with who assume I am either a genetic female or who assume that I have transitioned, so now I'm scared stiff of goine out in male attire. There are reasons I feel required to be "a guy," and when I am I become fearful, constantly scanning for people who might know me.

I'd be way better off, and a lot more comfortable out in the world, if I just never left the house in "guy mode." But there are certain situations in which I am required to do so.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[lingerieLiz]

I could say 1 or 2. Since I wear all women's clothes 90% of the time but don't wear skirts or dresses very much. Almost never try pass as a woman, just not my thing anymore. However, I do have a few extended relatives that might not be able to handle the revelation. I've had knowing neighbors everywhere I lived for over 50 years without any bad incidents. Many have seen my nightgown blowing in the wind when I go to get the paper etc. I shop with a lot of women that know I buy all my clothes in the same departments they do including lingerie.

Most people don't care. Probably the biggest concern is having some idiot decide to teach me not to dress. I'm not worried about him, but just the hassle and paperwork.

[Jackie7]

I'm socially out, I'm retired so I don't care about colleagues or career, I don't much care who casually finds out.

But here's the thing, quite often someone quietly asks me good questions, and some of those people come out to me as CD or trans, hiding it, wanting to talk. Feels pretty good.

[Madeline80]

20!
It could mean the end of my employment. Or maybe I'm overly concerned and speculating.
In a perfect world I would go out male or female as I wished. But I hardly go anywhere in town in guy mode without running into someone who knows me.

[Amanda_P]

I'd have to say 0. Because I have been out to my inlaws after a night of drinking. Came home put on so fem clothes and make up and went to a house party. So they know just don't talk about it. And if I get caught by someone else I just won't have to hide it anymore

[laciewhite]

when i was younger, i was terrified of anyone knowing or even suspecting. now i feel a lot more relaxed about it and probably wouldn't give a damn who knew *BUT* i have this massive issue about telling my SO, who i've been married to for 20 years. and until such time as i can have the courage to tell her, i don't feel i can reveal to anyone else. i've been through the scenario of how i would tell her on endless occasions but i just can't bring myself to do it. in some ways i almost wish she would discover it and confront me and then i'll have to admit it. but i've been doing this all my life since puberty and i'm very good at covering my tracks. i hate having this secret from her but i'm so terrified she will change her feelings towards me if she knew.

[Teresa]

Hello JessMe, My wife has seen me twice so I think her seeing me again would rate 5, I'm not sure if my son has seen me or not on one occasion I managed to get covered up but didn't have time to put socks on so you could see stocking feet, My daughter knows because I told her but she hasn't seen me dressed. I'm sure the post girl has seen me. The stupid part is when I go shopping in drab I just say I'd like some shoes and try them on, OK I don't ask to try on underwear and I always say the clothes are for my wife or daughter. I love driving out at night, drove right through my next town even had to stop at a pedestrian crossing, people looked straight at me and waved!

[Zylia]

We do things that are bordering on self-sabotage, you got that one right. It's almost like at least some of us are busy trying to get caught while trying not to get caught.

Getting read in public is a given, that much is clear for me and I can't worry too much about that (1-3'ish on a scale from one to ten). If I spend an hour and a half on getting ready and I get read in a second it's somewhat irritating:D Getting harassed because of it however is a whole other thing and I'm somewhat worried about that, so I try not to visit the wrong places at wrong times (4-7) if I go out in the first place.

Getting caught by someone who knows me might suck, but it wholly depends on the context. I'm not one who goes out in public just to go out in public. I like to keep my dressing to myself and the ones who share the passion. I hardly try to pass myself off as someone or something I'm not. I'm a guy who tries to look like a woman (in pictures). The joke is on those who are fooled. That's the dressing part of life for me. It's almost performance art. That's my dirty little secret.

[Marcelle]

I am not overly concerned about being recognized by anyone. In fact I had an encounter with a work colleague who knows me very well and he did not recognize me and even returned a glove to me when I dropped it trying to avoid direct contact (I posted a thread on this). Now this is not to say it is because I pass but more likely an artefact of the long hair (I have none - shaved head at work), make-up and clothes as well as given my occupation, not many people are looking for me "en femme". However, to be honest while I am out to my social network some who are work colleagues, there are those who I would prefer not to run into as it would be awkward. However on a scale of 1 - 10 most likely a 4 as to be honest I am not concerned who knows.

Hugs

Isha

[Aprilrain]

I was once a 10 on your scale, especially when I was a teenager, though I often did things like dressing in my room with my dad watching TV in the next room! I was never caught by my parents. I ended up telling all my long term GFs none of them really seemed all that concerned. By my mid to late 20s I would out myself in spectacular fashion with friends and acquaintences while I was intoxicated. Thrilling at the time but really embarrassing afterward. My 30s found me married with kids and even though my wife knew I still hid it from her most of the time because I was ashamed. We sepperated (not because of CDing) and I almost imidiately started to transition. So now I'm a 0

These things can evolve over time.

[Jordan-NH]

10 - Anyone at work
9 - Family
8 - Friends
6 - General public. And that would probably be a 2 if it wasn't for the three categories above. My concern is who will you bump into that will communicate back.

[Beverley Sims]

Probably a five or six.
I am not into silly exhibitionism either.

[Ellie52]

I wear a sarong (skirt) around the house and my son and neighbours dont care. I wear ladies stockings (knee high) to work and again they dont care. What else is there to wear?
I would say a 5. I wouldnt like people at wortk to know I wear more tthat the stockings but my son doesnt seem to care what I do.
My wife see's the full Ellie and is happy to let me be her. She even insists I dress in a skirt/dress etc for breakfast (about an hour a day) as long as our son is at work as it puts me in a good mood for work.:o)

[Lygophilia]

I guess there would be certain guidelines on to wear or not to wear at work (more to men), but my work place tend to be more accepting to diversity. However, everyone wears uniforms. If you crossdress and shop on your day off (don't really like their clothes), then it's not a problem. I see a fair to big number of crossdressers that are customers at work. Other than that, it would be a 1.

[lesli]

maybe like a 5 most of the time, then there are the rush of terror and panic attacks where it's like a 8 or 9, but most of the time it's like a 5--moderate ;)
hugs,
lesli

[Talisker]

Im less worried than my SO.
Dont care about general public - 0. Actually can be fun being read and talking to people.
Neighbours / Work - Both 5 since a neighbour is also from work.
Parents - 7. Old and wouldnt understand.

Would be embarasaing for a while but not end of world. The older and more financially secure i get the less I care what others think.

[JocelynJames]

I can't even begin to gage it-the wife knows and no one else but here. With all brothers and a99% male employee work force where I work , it's a wonder I where panties daily. I have to constantly be checking where my pants and shirt have fallen and risen to respectively . Ugh -I guess I'll go with peoe I know an 8-9 and everyone one else I don't really give a damn?

[Patty F]

Probably a 5. I worry that someone I know will find out but the other side of me wants everyone to know so that I can ware what ever I want when I go out. I worry about the homophobic guys that are some how threatened with what I do.

[Jenniferathome]

I used to be afraid of being caught by my wife until I told her. Now, I just do not think being "caught" is a possibility. I think the only way would for a friend to see me and my gift together and make the connection. As a result, we do not go out together in my home town. So my rating is about a 2

[Karmen]

10 - Anyone at work
9 - Family and friends
6 - General public. But only because of possibility that some of them can know people from upper 2 categories and could tell them what they saw. Otherwise I don't care about strangers and what they think of me. The other problem are mobile phones with good photocameras build in. Just one photo at inappropriate time and you can be doomed. That's also why I try to avoid bars, shops and other well-lit places and go out fully dressed only when is already dark.

[5150 Girl]

If you're going to be out, you're eventually going to be seen by people you know, even if you're out of town.

[Dianne S]

As others have said, it depends by whom. People I don't know: 1 or 2. I don't care.

Work colleagues and friends: That could be a bit sticky. Maybe 6 or 7.

My kids: 10. I am absolutely not ready for them to know.

[Mistyjo]

JessMe I also live in a small town pop. around 1000 i have gone out dressed and no one gave me a second look. i know every place is different but i would still rate it for me at a 5

[Lacey New]

Like most, I think it depends on who catches me. For the pleasant sales associate in a store 200 miles from where I live and work, my concern is maybe a 1. If she remarks to a less tolerant friend or customer or someone that I don't know but who might be tempted,to make a big deal out of it, maybe a 5. For family, friends and coworkers, 10.

[Vanessa5]

After coming out to my wife the only place I am truly worried about being "caught" is at work. I have gone out and no one seemed to even care.

[natcrys]

It depends, I don't mind getting read when I'm out and about, but I don't want to get caught by my parents or extended family members.

Seeing as I choose to not go out in my own city and the neighbouring cities (where many of my family members live), I'm not too worried, so that would mean a 1 or 2.

[Lorileah]

Like April I am at zero. Even before I started to transition I was at zero. really what is anyone going to do. If friends don't like it, I can get new friends. If family doesn't like it, they fail as part of a family (you should not judge those who are blood...right?). My fear was clients, but then I thought why should they care, I do a better than average job for them (and that has come true.) Random people on the street...no care at all. Colleagues, these would be the same ones who have secrets and skeletons (again I am better than average at my job and I don't cheat people).

So who (or whom) do we fear. Have a mirror handy? Your own demons. Your own prejudices. Your own feelings of inadequacy or learned stereotype.

Understand that I am my own boss so if my clients had thought I was somehow not adequate for the job, it was on me. So I can see where, especially in this economy, you would keep this from your employer. You should NEVER keep it from your SO (live a DADT life, but she has to know). I came to my own realization after years of hiding and fighting myself. Where you draw the line is up to you. But you should accept yourself first. After that you can decide who else to tell.

[Lady Catherine]

I could care less who sees me. I stopped caring awhile ago. My wife on the other hand, is supportive but afraid of what people think. She says she would hate to have to kick some ones butt because they said something bad about me. I'm trying to get her to relax.

[MsVal]

Two of my life's principles:
(1) Don't do anything you'd be ashamed to see on the front page of the newspaper.
(2) I'm at that age where I really don't care what other people think about me, some will love me, some will not, and that's okay.

Now, there are some people that I care deeply about that would be very unhappy. I love these people and do not want to be the cause of their unhappiness.

[JessicaColeridge]

I am a little scared, but it kind of adds to the naughtiness of it all. It's my little secret that gives me lots of joy. It would be nice to not have to plan weeks in advance for when
I can play!!

[Rosabella]

I don't wear anything on the outside when out there in the world that shouts "female." So I don't get frightened when out there. I do wear female jeans/pants daily out there, but so far no one has said, those look like women's pants. Are they? So I am relaxed about that. I wear makeup daily, but only what my consultants all tell me doesn't shout "female." So far no one out there has told me my makeup looks like I am trying to look female, and I wear a lot of different makeup. I would be terrified at this time to actually dress more feminine on the outside and be outed. The ladies at work know there is a feminine part of me and seem okay with it. My wife knows about my proclivity to wear female items. She has just begun counseling partially to help her accept me as I am in this way. My biggest fear might be what my adult sons would say/think if they saw me dressed like a female. I'm not worried at all about wearing female undergarments on a daily basis, except when I go to a health professional. But... what if I have an injury or accident and end up in ER with my female undergarments on... Oh well, I imagine they've seen it all before.

But part of me wants to tell others about this part of me, but just the others who I know would be accepting of me. Acceptance seems somewhat important to me.

[curvyFiona]

Luckily I live far from my family so there is no chance of running into them. The only people I know that I could run into are coworkers I guess. Anyway, I usually don;t go to crowded places and if I do I don't wear clothes that stand out.

[bomba]

if i was out and strangers outed me....so what i would play the part of a hot woman. if my kids or familiy found out i would be devastated.

[Adriana Moretti]

dont jinx me..............

[JennyLynn]

I would say it depends on who catches you. A complete stranger...less than a 1. My wife...maybe a 7. My gossipy neighbors... probably a 9. I doubt my wife would leave me, but it would be an interesting exchange of comments. I don't go out in public except the back yard early in the morning when it's still dark. It is kind of exciting to think maybe someone would see me, but how would they know it's me and not some girl that is maybe visiting? Not to toot my own horn, but I pass quite nicely for a lady!

[Angela Campbell]

At one time I was so afraid of being found out. I went through so much to keep this secret. I was married twice and neither one knew. 50 years. Eventually I came to the point where I had to transition and this fear was the only thing in my way. I had to overcome it, and that was the single most difficult and frightening thing I have ever faced.

Interestingly it turns out that mostly the fear was for nothing. Most are either accepting or just do not care. I was never caught, I told everyone who knew me. Now I live as a woman.

[PretzelGirl]

I would like to say it is a zero, but I am a natural worry wart, so I have trouble working that out of my system. I'd say all friends that I regularly see know and about half my family that is in the area. So maybe about a 2-3 as I would rather tell the rest of the family and work then get found out. It just makes better sense. But I am also prepared for it if it happens and I have thought it through and I am really okay if it goes that way. It doesn't stop that tendency to worry though. :strugglin Now for that plan to tell them.....

[grace7777]

Some people in my apartment complex have seen me in both girl and boy mode, so if the people I live around know it is not a big deal. Since I am out in public en femme I am not concerned about the general public.

As to people I work with and know well I would say about a 5. A few years ago I would have said 10. I still do not want these people to find out and there could be problems if they did, but I think I could manage the situation.

[jessw]

I remember right after I started dressing in public I walked into the supermarket and saw my mom who did not know at the time. She did not recognize me but that scared me worse than anything! Now that all of my friends and family know I don't really get scared but I do sometimes feel a bit awkward going back to my home town and seeing people I went to school with. None of them have ever recognized me though.

[Roli F]

Absolutely Zero Love getting out and about
as my femme self don't give a hoot about what other peeps think say or do

[JessMe]

Thanks everyone for all of the great answers! ...it's certainly a pretty wide variation! Lol I appreciate the answers, especially the more thought provoking ones.

[Raychel]

For me, I used to be up around a 23, :heehee: more then scared s-less.
but the more I go out the less concerned I am, somewhere down around a 2 now.


If someone sees me, that is life, I am not hurting anyone,

[GinAnn]

Almost every day is a "0" in the fact that I just don't care who finds out. Often wishing someone would just start the conversation and ask me what I thought of CD's, giving me the chance to come clean with them.

Then on other days I skip dressing completely because someone mentioned they may drop by if their schedule allows.

Geeeezzz I'm a mixed up gal <grin>

Gin

[Cheryl T]

I'm not worried at all about being caught. Since my wife is fully supportive and we go out all the time together it's not an issue for me.
I don't put myself in situations where friends/coworkers/family would find out, but I don't go out of my way to hide. If we are out and one of us spots someone we know we tip the other off and separate so as not to be obvious. I think that unless we are together it would not register with anyone who I might be. I doubt they would recognize me unless I spoke.
If they should find out...oh, well...the cat's out of the bag.


As far as the neighbors...well, we've taken walks around the neighborhood together on nice summer days and we don't wait till sundown to leave the house. If they see or have seen well no one has commented and they are all still friendly and chatty so all is well.

[sensui]

This very thread makes me scared to make a comment cause im too new to this and my family, co-workers, local populous, and even wife would all be very hurtful if any found my secret, at least not until i figure out a way to ease into the conversation.

[Valarie]

I'm out to my wife so no big deal there. However I am worried that my mom would find out.

[Bonnie Chan]

Since no one knows about me CDing yet, and I'm not ready to come out yet, I would be scared to dead if someone related to me found out. But if it's people who I don't know, I don't care very much.

[shawnablack77]

I live in a bigger town, pop 160,000, and I haven't been out yet. I'm nervous people will stare or point. And I'm also worried seeing me from a different angle will give me away. Its scary to me right now.

[rocval2001]

Hmmm 8 or 9 - If the wife found out - marriage is over. But funny - I have accidentally left my secret out one day that was found - then I left some make up out that was not found. I had a therapist told me that I want to get caught.

[Patty-Fay]

Getting found out is huge. I'll first mention that, like rocval2001 - my marriage would be over if my wife found out. So I limit my dressing to days she's out of town,

Besides my wife, I'm also terrified of being outed in public -largely because I actually WAS outted once, and it was the most humilating experience of my life. I had gotten absurdly overconfident, thinking I was passible - though I'm not. I went to a Wal-Mart, en femme, tried on clothes without any hassle. I felt so good I decided to go pee, and went to the ladies room. After being in there awhile, the place became deserted*. I left the restroom and a policeman stopped me and asked me if I was a male or a female. I told him I was male. I thought I was going to be arrested, but he let me go. He followed me most of the way home to be sure I didn't go somewhere else that I shouldn't. I stopped dressing for several years after this incident. I still love the thrill of going out, but I avoid getting too close to anyone - I'm passable from a distance.

*(it turns out that the management saw me enter and they stopped everyone from going into the restroom while there was a pervert in there.

[ME2.0]

JessMe, this may sound weird, but I would almost welcome being "caught". I sometimes feel like there's a better, beautiful part of me inside that's being crushed by a clumsy, awkard oaf, but that beautiful person can't be accepted by the people of my life. I sometimes wonder, if I show my true colors and everyone did abandon me, would I still end up happier in the long run. My wife already knows and approves of whatever I want. And really, she's the only true opinion that I really care about. I sometimes feel like I live a lie for other peoples comfort. I guess it's a strange identity thing that I'm going to have to deal with sometime.

Probably not the answer you were expecting, but trying to be honest.

Hugs,
Staci

[JessMe]

Me2.0, that's actually a great answer! I was looking for answers from the entire spectrum, and I've gotten some really good ones! Just my curiosity I guess.
...Patty-Fay, HOLY CRAP! Really?! ...seems a pretty crazy response to someone trying to use the bathroom. .. but it goes to show you that people are inexplicably afraid of us. I'm glad you weren't arrested!

[Bifrost]

I like the scale!

0 - Anyone who's a friend (they already know)
1 - The general public (I hate not passing)
2 - Anyone from work (If they don't know already, they should)
3 - Remaining Family (There are probably 2 or 3 members of my family who I haven't told & who haven't worked it out yet...Not sure how they'll cope)

[Bifrost]

That sucks, Patty-Fay. Terrible reaction by Walmart in my opinion. If you are presenting as a female, you should be allowed to enter the female toilet. What if you went in the male toilet and were attacked in there?

Sure, if someone IS being a perv in the female toilet, call the cops, but if they are peeing, washing their hands and leaving - who cares?

[Conny Fuzion]

i'm not worried about being caught, I like peoples smiles and shock when they see me and realise :p

[Patty-Fay]

That sucks, Patty-Fay. Terrible reaction by Walmart in my opinion. If you are presenting as a female, you should be allowed to enter the female toilet. What if you went in the male toilet and were attacked in there?

Sure, if someone IS being a perv in the female toilet, call the cops, but if they are peeing, washing their hands and leaving - who cares?
Texas is one of the least progressive states in all respects, including issues such as this. Here's another example (link (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/02/paula-witherspoon-transgender-woman-womens-rest-room_n_1471716.html)).

Here's another infuriating perspective from a Fox News blogger: He said it poses a safety hazard – especially for families with young daughters. (http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/restaurant-tells-woman-who-ran-into-cross-dresser-in-ladies-room-to-try-mens-room.html)

[JennyMarie]

Definitely up there... 8-10.

My parents (plus a couple others) already know (I... was sort of forced to out myself to them. That's another story). My dad took the "I don't see it, I don't care" stance. My mom... as understanding of a person as she is, she disapproves. I had to get a new mailbox in another town to avoid hearing lectures from her. No, she's not a postal worker, but she works close enough to the post office in our town that I gave her the key to my PO box at one point so she could grab out my mail for me seems I never get back through in time from work.

She is, however, well known in our town and by extension, so am I. Scariest part about it to me? Everyone knows me... but I don't know any of them! But I know if I was to truly get outed around here, I would not be able to participate in what I do. And to me, it is extremely important (and not for the people I'm with in doing it).

[njcddresser]

The only group that I'm worried about is my coworkers. Don't want them to know.
Not worried about my family, as my wife knows and I expect to tell my grown children I. Due time.

Friends, if they don't except me then maybe they aren't my friends.

General public? I could care less!!

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I have weathered that "talk" decades ago. It's DADT. I do get ample time to be Stephanie since my wife works and I'm retired. I know it would upset her if any other than she knew of my cross dressing. I respect her concerns. I've said it before on this forum. I believe women are deathly afraid of public opinion, not only as it relates to me. It also relates to "What is wrong with her to live with a man that wear women's clothing!" It is difficult to explain something that you do when you do not understand why you do it yourself.

The only thing I really have a concern about is my wife coming home early and meeting Stephanie. Worse than that is having my wife predecease me. What will the kids think when they clean out the house?????

[mariehart]

This got me to thinking about what I do now and what I used to do. I vary back and forth across the scale. I want to be zero with everybody. I used to be very scared of being caught and indeed it's remarkable I never was even though I grew up in a big family in a small house. On a recent outing dressing but far from passable I was quite nervous at first but I thought 'What does it matter if some stranger sees me' So I relaxed. The next time I was far more concerned about the clothes I should wear than the outing itself.

When I was younger I wanted to be caught by my family and accepted but could never bring myself to do it. I remember dressing upstairs and walking down to the living room where my sisters were watching TV. All they had to do was turn around but they never did. I sometimes suspect they knew and wouldn't look. Later I got drunk and walked in on them and fully outed myself. Their reaction was not positive. I told my brother, he was relaxed about it and I used to dress around him but I got embarrassed and stopped.

I've had several dreams where I was dressed as a woman with everybody around not making an issue of it. In the end it's me who panics. Which I suppose tells you something.

My dream is to get up in the morning and not even think twice about it.

[sometimes_miss]

I'm a ten. So deep in the closet, that I'm in between the beams in the walls. I suppose it's a result of being teased (and beaten) mercilessly as a kid for another reason, I don't ever want to go through that again, for any reason. I'm absolutely paranoid about being thought of as a sissy, crossdresser, gay, TS, anything other than a normal guy. The first 18 years of my life were a nightmare, I think I'd rather die than go through that again.

[Christen]

Hey, just remember, you are normal. Just a bit different normal.

[Donnagirl]

For me, at least an eleven! Terrified does not define it we'll enough.

What's the quote, "so far back in the closet, I should call Narnia home."

[LydiaG]

I haven't been out in public dressed yet but I would have to say:

10 For being found out by anyone I work with or any family members.
9 For being found out by friends
7 For being found out by strangers

Girlfriend had a fetish party at her house a few weeks ago and she made me dress up for it. It was so terrifying since I didn't know who was going to show up and what people were thinking. I'm generally a shy person as it is so I'd always be pretty worried.

[Allison Quinn]

10 for neighbors
about 1 for family, since they refer to me as she accidentally already they wouldn't be shocked anyway. The few people I told were like yeah I know :|

[ShelbyDawn]

I am a solid ten on the scared s**tless scale.
If I were to be publicly found out, it would cause all kinds of trouble for me both personally and professionally - probably cost me my kids(my ex is in the militant non-accepting camp).
On the other hand, it would also be quite liberating.
I would honestly love nothing more than to be able to dress any way I want whenever I want(wouldn't we all).
If public ramifications were not an issue, I would get all my body hair removed, have breast enhancement surgery, and wear skirts, dresses and cute shoes every day and never be without a fresh mani-pedi.

A girl can dream, can;'t she.

:hugs:

Shelby