GD Mitigation

[GabbiSophia]

As I start looking for ways to mitigate my own GD I am curios about what others started with and how it if any did it change. Did it help for a short or long time? I am trying to incorporate some CD in my everyday to help. I am not necessarily trying to remove GD from life I am trying to live the life I want while having it. Does it tend to snowball into an avalanche once you start doing things?? I noticed the cd'ing becomes pretty intense and the wanting to do more and to constantly be dressed is right in the fore front of my mind.

[PaulaQ]

CDing helps some of us, but for others of us, clothes do nothing.
If you find that CDing helps, I'd recommend at least underdressing as much as you possibly can, and presenting as female when you are able to do so. I found a wig and breast forms to be useful until I had hair and breasts of my own.

Other stuff that helped me:
- removing facial and body hair. If not permanently (this is better) then at least temporarily, and keeping it gone.
- painting my toe nails
- going to a TG support group, preferably presenting as female.


Does it tend to snowball into an avalanche once you start doing things??
Not in my experience. If it snowballs into an avalanche, as it did for me, there will be simply NOTHING you can really do, short of transition or death, that will do much to alleviate it. It seems to be progressive for some of us. In my case, it was like a bomb went off, and I no longer wanted to live with the intense pain I felt.

Ultimately I didn't get real relief until I started HRT. There is no doubt in my mind that HRT saved my life. In August, before I started, I was clinging to the will to live by a thread. Now? I feel pretty normal. The anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds I took barely scratched the surface of my GD. Estrogen, and Spiro just melted these feelings.

[traci_k]

You'll probably find that it is progressive, but everyone is probably different. In my case when I was younger, I always thought there was time. Now as I'm nearing 60 (I'm 58 it's coming on with a vengence.) Seeing the therapist helped and painting toe nails, occasionallipstick out, heels in the office, things were pretty much under control. Now that my wife has pretty much removed any minor dalliances, it's getting to the point as Paula puts it, transition or die. So you may be able to keep it in check,but if it's real GD, good luck.

Hugs and Best Wishes!

[GabbiSophia]

Traci if this is not real GD then gosh dammit the crap must be really bad...

[stefan37]

I started wearing eye liner, colored nail polish and pierced my ears. It helped me deal with and I felt very comfortable for about 4 years before things started to escalate. My inner urges to feminize myself did start to escalate and I felt I was on a runaway train. That feeling of being out of control abated after starting therapy. Once I started hormones life calmed down. My anxiety disappeared completely.

Facial hair removal was a huge factor calming me down. You won't know what works until you try it. There are things you can do to feel as yourself, as long as you own it and don't apologize to anybody. You can PM me if you want to talk some more

[traci_k]

Didn't mean to imply it's not real, implying that for most of us we try to keep it under control, and the good luck is for the time it gets so bad you need to transition.

Hugs,

Traci

[Angela Campbell]

It started to get better when I finally stopped fighting it and decided to do something about it. I always wanted to be a girl, I was just scared. Once I decided to do something then each thing I did to move in that direction made it better.

[Christina Kay]

Shaving body, under dressing every evening after work and womens pajamas every night.. Shaping eyebrows, and 1 or 2 other things,,and letting my feminine mannerisms show thru. Have let me start to feel (HOPE) like I might be able to manage it.But the rabbit hole is very deep,,,It's so confusing and scary at times :( Thanks Steph for starting this thread..Hugs

[Miri]

This thread is exactly what I was looking for right now. I feel like I'm in a pretty similar situation and am using most of the same coping mechanisms. It gives me some hope for the future but I can't help but feel like there is a certain inevitability to having to transition at some point in time.

That's the sense that I get from reading these forums anyway.

[GabbiSophia]

Miri I agree with you if you read the posts and all the struggles of those that have been before. It is amazing to be how much each story is different in details but yet it is a broken record over and over again. Yet hear I am trying to do the best I can to cope and live. Sometimes I feel like I am kidding myself or I am an idiot for trying

[stefan37]

You are hardly an idiot for trying. Be an authentic person and expressing that to the world, friends and loved ones is a scary thing. There are possible losses from being who you truly are. It is a daunting position to be in. Thankfully for me given the circumstances I was able to hold my GD at bay for a very long time. It finally took hold and I really had no choice. I would have much rather done so at an earlier age, but I lacked the information and support network to make it happen. There is no rule book. We all have to do what is right for us and at what time is very personal. I will say those I know that have transitioned or have started transition, that once they got going did not regret making that decision. they regret the lives that are broken and the friends and in some cases the employment. Overall they are happy and glad they are able to express themselves in an authentic way with no more denying or hiding.

I went to a jobsite yesterday and it felt really good going as a woman without my workclothes. I was treated with respect and since I own the company, my suggestions and comments were taken seriously.

I will add a couple things I have learned along the way.
Transition does 2 things and 2 things only. It allows us to live our lives authentically and second it eliminates the GD.
The other thing is transition has to take place at its own pace at the right time. Rush it and results can be disastrous.

When i asked my therapist why now, why can;t i live out my life as a male, he replied, "its your time" I was like WTF does that mean? The answer came to me about 18 months later. This is the right time for me. Many times our questions why? are answered many months later.

I feel for you. I have been there and know exactly what you are experiencing. I also know from experience you have to do something for YOU or you will suffer for a long time.

[Angela Campbell]

The hardest part is to finally admit who and what you are, not who and what you want to be. You are who you are and although you can enhance that, or pretend it is not so, it is what it is.

Whether or not you want to be something does not change the facts of what you are. I do not know about you, only you do, but for me I had to face the fact that I was a woman trying very hard to be a man and that was killing me. Once you finally admit to yourself what and who you are it is easy to find a way to enhance the parts you like and to minimize the others. To finally be happy.

But it has to start with being honest to yourself. Completely honest without any "I don't want to be" involved. Whatever you don't want to be is beside the point when it comes to being honest with yourself.

[I Am Paula]

From knowing something was wrong, to where I am now in transition took decades. Fear, denial, and misinformation delayed the inevitable. My GD started quite mild, with experimentation with some of my sisters things. As a teen I mistook it for a fetish, and then later homosexuality. The ball started rolling faster, and became unstoppable, as I escalated to full dressing, going out, and eventually full time. It was when I started researching surgery that I realized it was out of my control, and time for medical intervention.

In my opinion GD grows, and eventually it controls your life, not vice versa. I kept masking the symptoms, when I should have reacted. In hindsight (isn't everything easier in hindsight?) I could have started my real life many years ago.