Telling your kids

[Ginger Jameson]

This post spawned from a reply I started to this thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?207796-how-worried-are-you-about-being-caught). I figured it probably deserved its own thread since it's a much tighter focus and I want to hear some replies without muddying that thread's purpose.

I'm pretty worried about being caught by my kids because I know it'd be very weird and awkward for them. They know I'm bi and didn't melt down and hate me for that, so I don't think it'd be the end of the world, and they're very mature so I'm sure they can handle it. I'm just not sure I could handle it.

Of course, the only way to not eventually be "caught" is to be honest about it up front.

How many of the girls here have kids, and have you told them? How old were they? How'd you do it?

[Rachelakld]

Of my 4 daughters, 3 youngest know.
I explained it to them just after they did Sex Ed at school and they were old enough to understand the trouble it would cause at school if their friends found out.
The oldest is not so tolerant, so happy to keep her in the dark on this one.

[Ginger Jameson]

How did you do it?

[Lady Catherine]

I've told 2 of my 3 kids and 3 of my step kids. They are all grown and out of the house, so it was a little easier on me. I stopped dressing when I got custody of them 14 years ago because I didn't want them to have to suffer any teasing or such because of me.

[Vanessa5]

I believe I am going to wait. My 2 youngest are still at home and in jr and sr high. Maybe when they are older. My son in sr high maybe sooner because he seems to be on the same path I was at his age.

[DeeInGeorgia]

I told both of my boys when they were young teens. One of them is a closeted crossdresser.

[Brooklyn]

My girls have grown up with my clothes and makeup around, see my nails, and know I live part time as a woman when they're not around. I let them ask questions when they want to know more. They are in elementary school right now. I'm sure high school will be more difficult, but at least I don't have to lie to my own kids or worry about what to do when they find out.

[Ginger Jameson]

Ashley, that sounds great!

[bridget thronton]

I told my son and daughter when they entered college

[bomba]

i dont see any reason to ever tell our kids....for what,they dont need to deal with that kind of thing,i say never tell them

[Beverley Sims]

I never told mine and I don't think they know much to this day.

[emma-louise]

ive never felt the need to tell my grown up daughter, even though she now lives with me, i just dress while she is at work or away at her bf,s, cant see what good would come from opening that particular can of worms x

[suzy1]

I have three children all grown up. And no, I will never tell them!

We can beat around the bush as much as we want to, we can make all sorts of arguments for going out/coming out, we can listen to the members that say they go out dressed and its not a problem [and I think they are wonderful!] but we all know what people in general think about crossdressing.
So Its my little secret from my family and friends and will be till the day I die.

[Sophie Yang]

I have two sons and told them both after they graduated from college. They were 22 at the time and are 23 months apart in age.. I am a late bloomer and did not start dressing until they were in college so I never had any issues of being caught. I told my oldest one when I was taking him to the airport and my youngest when he came home for a wedding. The conversation was pretty simple. "I have something to tell you. I am a cross dresser. Do you have any questions? Let me know if you ever want to talk about it." Simple, straight forward, and uneventful. They sometimes join my wife and I atsome TG event, a family affair. The other girls have always accepted my two sons as part of the TG extended family.

[reb.femme]

I have 3 sons (grown men I should add) and I told my youngest two at Christmas, as stated in a previous post. That went well and no problems at all. My eldest was told a couple of weeks ago, and he wasn’t best pleased to say the least.

He has spoken to my wife and his brothers about the revelation, doesn’t understand it and doesn’t want to understand it. Says he wants to continue like nothing was ever said. However, I haven’t heard from him since, which is completely out of the ordinary. We have a major football game this weekend (Soccer for left of the pond), which ordinarily would be a must do, but seeing as that has gone to the wall, I don’t think carrying on as normal is quite on the cards just yet.

Rebecca

[Marcelle]

My daughter is 28 and I told her shortly after I told my wife. She was cool with it and while she has met mom/dad she has not fully processed it either. I think telling your kids depends on a lot of factors and there is no real "check list" answer.

Hugs

Isha

[PretzelGirl]

I haven't told my son yet as he is on the east coast and I prefer it to be in person given the possible reactions. I first say my older daughter down and just talked through it one night. It went quite quite well although there were some emotions. She has been a big supporter ever since. So when I was ready to tell my other daughter and my oldest daughter was ready (I found this was a good consideration since I drug her into my world), we had dinner with my youngest daughter and told her.

One of the other things I found helped was having someone there who already knew. With my oldest, I had a friend. With my youngest, I had my oldest. First when you have someone else saying it is okay, it helps the person just finding out. Also, your nerves can get pretty riled up and having another help you through the conversation will assist you in addressing questions and concerns.

[kimdl93]

I have two sons who learned the worst possible way...from the rankings of their mother, my ex wife. It was rough for a bit, cause they were ages 10 and 14, but within a few months we were back to a pretty healthy relationship. Later I came out to my step daughter, age 23, and it was way easier...she didn't have the emotional investment, I suppose, but she certainly wanted to be sure that my revelation didn't jeopardize the marriage. Her mom was supportive of me, so that made it easier for all of us.

My advice is to come out in a planned manner...no shock and awe, just a mature conversation. They already know you're somewhat unconventional, so this may be easier than you think.

[Teresa]

I slipped up slightly I forgot my daughter (now 36) was in the house and she caught me ironing some clothes, first I said they were my wife's then came clean and told her, she was Ok about it she's done a nursing degree and part of the course deals with CDing etc. She just said OK it's only clothes! I haven't told my son (34) and I'm not sure if he's seen me.

[Rogina B]

My daughter has been going out with me since she was five. She is now twelve. Over those years we have evolved into living like three girls under the same roof. It seems to be working quite well. However,I needed this acceptance,inclusion and freedom,in order to be happy,so I took risks and got rewarded. Not going to happen for everyone..

[Raychel]

Within the last year I have told all 3 of our boys, 17, 18, and 24
All took it very well almost like they already knew, They may have,
I will never know for sure I guess, But they really don't care, I am
still their father and all is good.


Told them all one at a time, when I felt the time was right where we could talk if they
had any questions, Not really any questions or comments, Life just goes on. :thumbsup:

[Ginger Jameson]

I wear a pink crown necklace that says "Princess" on it. Yesterday it slipped out of my shirt and my daughter, age 9, saw it. She was shocked and asked if I wanted to become a woman. I said no, I just like it. Like how I like painting my toes. She took it in stride and we went back to watching TV. Not a full reveal by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely a good sign. :-)

[Mistyjo]

We have three kids and they have always known when they were in school i did scale back on dressing so they could have there friends over