Fantasy question

[PatChick]

Me and my gf were talking about fantasies, and then she asked if I ever would want to do a threeway, so I brought up how it's been a fantasy of mine to be with her and a guy while I'm in girlmode. I told her I'd be fine with this just being a fantasy, bc I don't think I'd have the courage to go through with it. She is more than accepting and is asking me what types of guys I'd be into and all the intimate details of what would be going on. She told me to go on here and ask how to go about finding a guy, so I guess that's my question. Sorry if I said anything that was against the rules on here, but I tried my best to leave out the juicy details of the conversation.

[josrphine]

Hi Pat, I guess you go too bed with your girl friend as a women. So that part is interesting in it self. The % of Cd's that are gay is interesting. Three way I would say let her pick a guy an let the chips fall were they may.

[emma-louise]

some fantasy,s are best left as fantasy,s sorry to be a party pooper

[suzy1]

And some fantasies are best acted out. You only live once so live it. I do!:heehee:

[Beverley Sims]

Threeway, or Freewway.
I always turn left and take the high road.

[karynspanties]

Nice one to live out, but I think she is looking for a way to cheat on you with another guy while not exactly cheating on you. She is pushing the issue for a reason. She may even have someone in particular she is thinking of. Beware if she "finds" a guy.

[Kristy 56]

The older I get the more I find myself with the same fantasy .Will Kristy ever acton it ? I don' t know as the opportunity has never presented itself. In your case I believe that Karyn may be correct.Ask her if she has anyone in mind,and see what she says. Let us know what happens.

[PatChick]

Okay well the way she brought it up was. "What about 3ways? I know you don't wanna do one with a guy, but what about with a girl?" Then we kind of went into detail about what would happen in each scenario. I said I liked the one with the guy in it better, and she liked the one with the girl in it better. (I'd be in male mode for the girl on and guy mode for the girl one.) She was kind of putting it on me to find a guy saying to ask on here where we would even find someone into it. I may be in denial, and know all of you have heard a lot of horror stories, but I really trust and love her, and know she has my best interest at heart. I'll keep you updated, but I think this one may be far away from happening either way.

[Lorileah]

Finding a person to participate is hard because you often come across as creepy.

Here is how it went with me.

Him :"would you come home with me?"
Me: "No I am not that kind of girl. I don't do one night stands"
Him: "You don't understand I want you for my wife."
Me: "Oh well that's different, what does she look like?"

[PatChick]

LOL to Lorileah. So did you go home with them?

[sweetshauna]

My wife and i are in the process of finding another male to join us like you. if I find a method that works, i'll let you know. Good Luck to you.

[Ilsa]

A great retort, Lorileah!

Ilsa

[docrobbysherry]

Now is the time to experiment, Pat. Before u settle down and get married. THEN, wonder what it would have been like? Like Shauna.

I believe there's way too much stress in marriage WITHOUT gnawing fantasies of sex with others. In my opinion, if u think u actually would like to try sex with others? U shouldn't get/be married!

[Lorileah]

In my opinion, if u think u actually would like to try sex with others? U shouldn't get/be married!

True that because as we know after marriage sex is off the table (sorry it was an easy shot, no risk, had to take it)

[Laura28]

Craig's list there are tons of adds for the scenario. However be very careful meet public a few times before any thing private. Better safe the sorry.

[kimdl93]

Who hasn't fantasized about a three way...I can't believe this hasn't crossed every open minded couples list at one time or another. And maybe it's something that both of you are genuinely interested in pursuing....I certainly don't see curiosity as any evidence of ulterior motives on her part or yours.

I guess the question is really whether you are interested in testing the waters of your sexuality and if males really interest you. If so, then by all means, but do practice safe sex, without exceptions. And I would further suggest that the two of you pursue potential partners together....it would be totally unsafe, uncool and unfair for her to bring home a prospect that hasn't got a full understanding of what you're both interested in.

[PatChick]

Craigslist kind of scares me. Don't think I'll go that route. And Kim, I agree with everything you said. Thank you all for sharing

[CONSUELO]

It is an experiment and it could be spoiled if you rush into it. It would be good to discuss it several times before attempting and make sure you are both being honest about what you expect. Also discuss some bad outcomes and how each of you would react. Be very careful of Craig's List. It attracts a lot of creepy people too.

[Ginger Jameson]

There's also adult friend finder, but it's got the same fear factor as Craigslist.

[Kristy 56]

My wife and i are in the process of finding another male to join us like you. if I find a method that works, i'll let you know. Good Luck to you.

Hmmmm, you wouldn't happen to live in fl would you ?

[Shelly Preston]

Apart from the idea of this is a fantasy. I suggest anyone thinking like this be extra careful. You just never know how this will affect your relationship. It could go wonderfully well or it could be an unmitigated disaster.

[miss ali]

my wife and I are swingers . I would never want to be a female with anyone but her . especially considering men are not my thing . but I say that to say we have never had issues in our relationship. we are very open and try to do what makes us feel good so long as we r conscious of the others feelings at all times. we have no desire to mix this and swinging . but if you trust each other and you communicate then if it makes you happy to be happy then be happy

[JennyLynn]

Fantasies are always better in the mind.

[Sarah Marie]

I think that different couples choose different lifestyles. Who's to say that polyamorous relationships are wrong? All of us here are part of the extended family of GLBTQ and, while some may not chose open/polyamorous relationships, I wouldn't judge those who do. Just be careful and develop trust with third party. Remember, now there is the potential for three hearts to be broken if it gets to a certain point.

[Majella St Gerard]

I have found the best way is to be open to new things and to just let it happen when the situation presents itself, put yourself in places where the possibility of meeting like minded people is greatest. If you are comfortable with your sexuality it doesn't matter the make up of the 3-some, I have had fun in MMF, MFF, MFMF groups, it's all good.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

I agree with Jenny Lynn! Living out fantasies can have life altering consequences.

[Tina B.]

Living out fantasies can have life altering consequences, is true. But something else no one has mentioned, you said it's a fantasy, sounds like a fun one, and you both share it, but remember, when you add a third person, you have to deal with their fantasy as well. Be sure your all three on the same page.
And remember you and your girlfriend have a relationship on the line, the third party has no such investment. Be sure you are ready for it, be sure you all know what you want, and remember you have a right to call it off at anytime anyone of you is not comfortable.
Oh' to be young again and have such problems!lol

[whowhatwhen]

Geeze, if no one ever acts out fantasies then you'll end up as boring and sexless as I am.
I'm seriously starting to wonder why this "leave it as a fantasy" stuff keeps coming up only in the context of male/male contact but I think I already know the answer.

Just don't do something you'd be personally uncomfortable doing and enjoy the ride.
:)

[Isabella77]

IDK. There's online and then there are the bars. Online actually seems safer to me because you can actually be more selective before you even meet the person. I enjoy having that advantage. Other than that it's just chance encounters. Hard to make those happen.

[Patty-Fay]

As has been said, if your gf picks a guy - you'll have reason to be suspicious, so I recommend against that route - unless you two also make a conscious decision to get into swinging. I was inclined to suggest Craig's list (you could try to be as careful as possible with some screening, including criminal background checks), but if you really reject that option then your SOL, - so keep it a fantasy.

[MarciManseau]

We've done a few threesomes, both FFM and MFM, and we've been very happy with the results so far. We see another TG girl once a month or so when she comes to stay with us for a weekend, and that's always wonderful :) We usually go out dancing on Friday night, then spend the rest of the time either relaxing or going out to shop or to shows, craft, etc.

It's always been good for us, so all I can say is, be careful, be safe, and enjoy.

[Sarasometimes]

I think this is a choice the two of you need to fully consider before acting on it. There is no reset/undo button. A few things to ponder: Do you want to have sex with a male? While dressed as a female? With your girlfriend there? Be there when she has sex with another male? Try to think of how all of this can go bad and then decide if the risks are likely and worth it?
How far out of the closet is a possible factor since a stranger will see you dressed and have sex with you. This may be a non-factor.
You are in such a different place than I but I felt my view may help you make informed choice. I have no idea how to find the guy unless friends may be an option. Be cautious with both friends and strangers.
Good Luck, hope it goes well however you go.

[Annaliese2010]

I dunno about a guy. I'd rather have an FFF* or FF*F* threesome where F=GG girl and F*=M2F girls :battingeyelashes:

[Kate Jennings]

I have had threesomes but only when I've been in male mode. I have fantasized about threesomes while dressed with gf's but it never happened.

All three of my real life 3sums were MFM, with no play between the men. Those nights were among the hottest I have ever had in my life. By all means if it me I'd go for it.

To do one while dressed would be that much hotter.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Pat, If your wife ever asks if you would ever like to have a three-way with a girl friend of hers , NEVER pick two of her girlfriends.

[lovetobedani]

Some things are best not said.

[Taylor Ray]

Judging by your rather witch-esque profile pic, I would have guessed you had plenty of spells to conjure if a three-way is really what you seek.

Perhaps posting about a theoretical three-way on a cross dressing website is in itself a portion of the fantasy?

If you live in a city, these types of scenarios are more common than you might think.

Do not let your fear cloud your judgement about the sacredness of the ceremony your unconscious mind seeks to encounter.

[Kate T]

Let me get this right.
You guys were talking about fantasies. She brought up the "three way" thing. Said she MIGHT consider it if the other party were female and you were male. You said you might consider it if the other party were male and you were female. She did not like that scenario and said "where would we even FIND someone to do that".
OK Which part of "I don't like that idea at all" vibe did you not read from her? I'm on the record here saying drop it like a hot potato. She has no interest in this at all and pursuing it will only cause damage to your relationship.

[Dianne S]

Who hasn't fantasized about a three way..

Me! Me! It's true; I've never found the thought of a three-way appealing. Dunno why, but there it is.

[MissTee]

My wife and I have discussed our fantasies and neither of us get the 3-some thing, nor does it sound enticing. Sounds like it could get complicated, or perhaps be destructive to a relationship meant for 2.

Could be I'm an old fuddy . . . .

[KisfofKatie]

I'm really torn on this.....but IF it did ever happen, I'd have to pick the guy ;)