The worst words you can say

[Michelle789]

Today marks the one year anniversary that someone who I thought was supposed to help me said two words that broke my heart and caused me to spin into a downward spiral for most of 2013.

I used to consult a psychic for advice on a regular basis, in fact I did so for five years. I was already struggling with gender issues and thoughts of wanting to die and be reincarnated as a female during 2012. Going into 2013, I was hoping the psychic would be willing to help me. I never felt comfortable talking about my gender issues with her. I thought she was somehow picking up on it and that she would bring it up, but she never brought it up.

On January 18, 2013, instead of getting help on my gender issues like I wanted to, the psychic told me two words that shook my world. "Man up" Those are the two most dreaded words anyone with serious gender issues can be told. It literally sent me into a state of severe dysphoria and depression for most of 2013 (not that I wasn't suffering in 2012). I literally wanted to die, be reincarnated as a female, and was practically crippled for seven months - I literally had trouble functioning and getting through the day. I always felt like getting through the day was a struggle, but that struggle was on steroids last year.

I finally confronted her in August, and asked her for help. Instead of giving me any sound advice, she told me she saw more male incarnations in future lifetimes, and that "gender confusion comes from the devil." Three days later I decided to fire her. I have been five months free of the psychic.

Since then I joined this forum looking for answers to what is going on with me, and I've received great help here and am starting to better come to terms with myself. I have reached a point where I am ready to join a support group and start therapy. Yesterday, I emailed the LA LGBT center and the LA Gender center, briefly explaining who I am and what I am looking for. I am awaiting a response for them, but I hope to make contact soon and begin joining a support group or seeing a therapist.

P.S. I spoke about the psychic with some of you in PMs, and swore I would never talk about the psychic on the forum. At this point, I really don't care any more. I'll talk about whatever I feel like talking about, anything that can help me with my gender issues or help others with theirs.

P.S. If you live in the L.A. area, or plan on visiting the L.A. area, please do not consult this psychic. She is a fraud, charlatan, and is clearly anti-transgender. If you wish to know which psychic to avoid, please send me a PM.

P.S. I should've known the psychic didn't really care. She showed many red flags. One of them is I was always afraid she would pick up on the fact that I cross-dressed and would try to get me to quit cross-dressing. In the five years I was working with her, she never once brought up cross-dressing. There were other red flags too.

[Aprilrain]

I'm glad your moving forward, I'm sure there are a lot of good resources in LA.

I'm sorry it took so long for you to see that this person was a charlatan but very glad that you have. I think it's pretty telling that she never brought up any of your gender issues. If she had had any real ability to "see the future" or "read your mind" she would have brought it up.

[Amy A]

You are doing the right thing, by seeking advice from people who are well placed to give it. Psychics prey on people low on confidence or those looking for answers; I'm glad you are free of her influence. Who you are is within you, it isn't preordained and your identity certainly doesn't need to conform to a narrow minded belief system.

Best of luck with the support groups :)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

They are ALL thieves...they steal your money by taking advantage of you... I absolutely loathe these people... they actually make money by pretending they are your dead loved one...or that they can know you better than you know yourself...they can deeply impact peoples lives...they can SAY THINGS that they totally make up and they forever change a relationship between a loved one and the loved one lost.... can you imagine a person claiming to be your mother trying to talk to you? you would never believe me and yet people seek them out!!!! desperation is the best case scenario for these people...(since we are saying exactly what's on their minds!!)

anyway..forget all that.

its good that you are turning in a new direction for yourself. you are doing the right thing and I wish you all the best.

One piece of advice is to be ready for a lot of uncertainty in your life.. and to start removing your facial hair as quickly as you can.

[Rachelakld]

you know sometimes Sh-t happens
Maybe next re-incarnation is male, and it might sit well with you

But this life is the one that counts NOW (next life will take care of itself in due course), so time to live in this life and make it the life YOU want.

I would advise anyone who is told something bad or untrue, - DO NOT TAKE OWNERSHIP of the comment, let the comment leave you like water off a ducks back.
(do a LandMark course if need be)

Personally I don't want to know my future, I want it to be a surprise that I can fully engage with and experience.
My dead relatives and friends chat to me often, have saved my bacon a few times, I'm greatful (and still alive), but otherwise I let them go and do whatever it is they do

[kimdl93]

Please take this the right way...psychics, spiritualists etc are defrauding people who are susceptible to wishful thinking. Rather than imagining a reincarnation as a woman, why not try living this life as you think you want to live it. Don't rely on baseless, wishful fantasies. Live here and now.

[Michelle789]

I'm definitely more concerned with now and this life. I was hoping the psychic would help me with this life, not just the next. I think it's best she gave me such doom and gloom because that's what it took for me to fire her ultimately. It also took me such doom and gloom to seriously consider seeking help - I mean real help from legit support groups and legit therapists. Like I said in OP, I'm planning on seeking support group and therapy.

I guess the lesson I learned is not to be so stupid trusting another psychic. Another red flag was she told me not to tell anyone anything she said, because if I did other people's energy would interfere with her work. 4 days before I fired her, I phoned a friend and started telling her about the psychic.


If she had had any real ability to "see the future" or "read your mind" she would have brought it up.

The funny thing is when I finally had the gender talk (Aug 8, 2013) with the psychic, I told her this had been bothering me for well over a year, and I asked her if she had picked up on this and why she didn't say anything for over a year. She said no that she didn't see this, and that this conversation came as a complete surprise. Three days later I fired her. It was not long after that when I joined this forum.

The day after I fired her, I drove to her place to return an unused candle. I really didn't want the candle in my house. When I last saw her, she said "I knew this day would come, but I hope we can still be friends and keep in touch" - Well 5 months have gone by and I have not contacted her. She has not contacted me. I erased her phone number out of my phone. I shredded her address labels, and threw away some remaining incense sticks. She also gave me a crystal to carry with me every day for the whole 5 years. I have tucked it away in a drawer, and haven't carried it since then.

Since I fired her, I joined the forum, found a job, got myself a new wig, some new clothes, got a makeup lesson at MAC, and soon I will start support group and therapist.

[PaulaQ]

Please take this the right way...psychics, spiritualists etc are defrauding people who are susceptible to wishful thinking.
Really, I think they prey on people in crisis, the same sort of folks who are susceptible to religious cults. I think saying "susceptible to wishful thinking" is kind of judgmental. When some people are really desperate they look for answers and leadership. I think this is a fairly natural part of our psychology, but unfortunately, some people abuse it to victimize people who are in dire straits, telling them - "you give me money, I give you answers to fix what is making you unhappy."

There's a special place in Hell, in my opinion, for people who victimize others in this fashion.


Rather than imagining a reincarnation as a woman, why not try living this life as you think you want to live it.
I've heard this same line of thinking from other trans people - that they feel they were a woman in a past life / hope to reincarnate in the future as women. It seems to be not an unusual way to feel about things. I've read this notion from other trans women on this forum, and for that matter, my girlfriend felt the same way. This seems like a surprising thought (to me anyway) to spring up in people independently, but it does in some of us.

[kimdl93]

Humans try to seek explanations, and if the don't have a demonstrably accurate explanation, we make stuff up, like reincarnation or past lives or whatever. It's a warm and fuzzy way to fez plaiting something we don't understand, but like the gifts under the Christmas tree, they didn't come from Santa. Concentrate on your life...now.

[celeste26]

I attended a church which claimed to teach psychic reading and over 5 years no one not even the teachers ever said the first word to me about GID or made any statement that could be interpreted as understanding the single most important issue in my life at the time. Good riddance to them.

[Barbara Ella]

You have now taken ownership of your life. You are now empowered, before it was this psychic. Continue your growth. you have a good start.

Barbara

[KellyJameson]

It is possible that certain people have gifts that allow them to sense truths but usually those calling themselves psychics are either con men/women looking to exploit someones misplaced trust or delusional and expecting others to be part of their delusion.

You want to be very careful who you place your trust in concerning your own search for truth.

You sent me a very articulated and well thought out PM and the fact that you are willing to invest so much energy and time into your need to understand, points to the fact that something is there.

There is an obsessional quality to the experience of gender dysphoria because our brains cannot tolerate the experience of cognitive dissonance so we seek resolution which transtioning offers for those who are transsexual.

It is an unfortunate truth that the best way to know you are transsexual is to attempt transioning because being transsexual is a physical experience that is mentally experienced.

You cannot think your way to the truth concerning gender but must live it to find and know the truth.

This knowing lives deep within our subconscious and constantly torments the conscious mind with its need to be recognized and lived.

Try to move beyond people defining you and go into yourself as the person you are so it is a voyage of self discovery that is very personal and private even when shared with others.

A woman is not a woman only when she is in the company of others any more than a man is only a man when in the company of others.

Your gender was there before you were born as only one possible path that was available to you before you ever knew what gender was.

When you see this clearly you will know who you are as "gender" but you must search for it because it is being hidden from you due to the circumstances of your birth.

[Chickhe]

You are better off listening to your own self...

[Nicole Erin]

So, because some crooked false prophet said "man up", it shook your world for almost an entire year? Just wait til someone calls you "sir" or "he" in the real world. Oh yes, it happens sometimes even to the best of us.

You DO realize things like psychics, astrology, ghost hunting, and other such nonsense is only for entertainment, right?
You might want to re-evaluate what it real and what is not. There are a lot of crooks out there who just love to take advantage of naive people.

[Eryn]

Some lessons come cheap, others, like this one, are very expensive. Learn from it and don't repeat the mistake.