A middle ground?

[jessw]

Hey everyone, I've had some thoughts I would like your feed back on. Ever since I have been dressing I have tried everything from the full hair and make-up to just underdressing. Although I have enjoyed going completely fem, the longer I have been doing it the more I like to go with a more androgynous blend. It seems I get more stares and negative social feedback when doing this than when I am completely dressed or completely drab. I dress this way daily and I am completely out with my friends and family, an I work for myself so I don't care about any negative attention I get but I was just wondering if anyone else has had any similar experiences or if anyone else likes taking the androgynous middle ground. Thanks everyone!

[Joanne f]

Hello jessw,
yes I find that the androgynous way is just so much simpler for every day dressing , yes you can get the double take sometimes when people are not quite sure what they are looking at but I have long gone past worrying about that , I just do not get the time to do the whole thing very often so this is an easy and constant way of doing it and you can dress it up with jewelry ,small amount of makeup if you want to, I personally do not need the one or the other fix so it suits me fine .

[Rita C.]

Hi Jessw, I'm the same way ,I don't get to dress fully as much as I would like, but I under dress all the time. I have developed breast and I
I wear a 42C and there is no way to hide the girls, and I get some funny looks, but the way I feel is that this my life and I'm happy the way I live it. when I do get time to dress fully I stay dressed as a lady for a least a week and when its time to come back its hell to do.

[devida]

I am definitely only interested in androgynous dressing and have no interest in attempting to pass as a woman. I don't consider myself female and I don't really consider myself anything but biologically male. I am sure there are plenty of gender fluid people like me, though apparently more women than men are this way. Even in this little town there are plenty of women who dress unisex. I'm returning the compliment. I get plenty of attention but not a lot of eye contact and no overt hostility. There are a lot of retirees in this town and the men have been so oppressed by the drabness of their badly fitting clothes that they either don't notice what I'm wearing or they approve. The older women either like the way I dress or they don't but if they don't they never really show it. If I wasn't 6'1", wearing black, pierced, tattooed, long haired, slim, agile and over sixty I might get some overt hostility but honestly if I saw me on the street and didn't like what I saw I'd take the better part of valor and look the other way! I do better in cities where young people are so relieved by seeing me that they won't have to wear what most of the old wear now that they're downright friendly.

[kimdl93]

I tried the androgynous or a mix of male and female, but just felt I was more conspicuous, and I really prefer dressing fully as a woman. To each their own.

[Cheryl T]

I agree with Kim.
Being androgynous just doesn't work for me. I'm not a 'middle of the road' person and dressing that way just doesn't express who I am.
There are times when I need to be drab, like work and family things, but when I express my feminine side I need it to be seen that way and not as some hybrid. Not everyone feels as I do and that is most certainly a good thing or this world would be very boring. If it works for you, then good for you. It just doesn't have a place in my life.

[jessw]

Thank you everyone for your responses! I think the one thing we can all agree on is we all need to do what makes us most happy! Our diversity is what makes the world great and I am glad we are all different! I think a big part of the different reactions I have experienced is just people who don't understand. I don't expect the general public to understand and I am used getting the double take. I think a big part of the culture shock I have experienced is going from college where everyone is open and accepting being out in the real world where people aren't as open. I went through a year and a half of therapy to help me with telling parents and friends and dealing with true inner feelings. I know I am answering my own questions to an extent but it feels good to brainstorm and talk about it with people who do understand so thank you all for listning!

[Tracii G]

I get where you are coming from Jess.I dress as a mix of both genders and don't find much in the way of problems out in public.
Its my way of being me I suppose I am gender fluid if you have to put a label on it.
I enjoy going 100% enfemme to and do it quite frequently again with out any problems as far as the public reaction.
I get called ma'am in guy mode a lot so maybe people aren't sure what I am, but people seem to accept me as I am.

[Beverley Sims]

If the androgynous middle ground draws unwanted attention, go all the way.
That is my preference.

[Lygophilia]

That's basically what I fall under. I'm very picky when it comes to women's/men's clothing and makeup, but it usually ends up Gothic than anything else.