confused dot com

[nacracat]

pretty sure this has been covered a million times before
but what makes a straight guy suddenly want to look like a female and then feel the urge to be noticed and pass as a female. This seems to be taking over my life and I have no idea why?? I wish I was born female but would then probably fancy women. aaarrrrrrghh, and my head is where???

[Madilyn A.]

The age old question ! My only reply is the urge seems to increase as you get older. It is odd that straight CDs often gravitate to wanting the pass and receive validation from men.

[Katey888]

That has to be the psychiatrists' $64million question as far as us CDs go... (and btw, your darling head is on top of your lovely body and charming legs which are perched on top of those sexy shoes that I've commented on before... :D)

I'd suspect something about unfulfilled sexual gratification or appetites (speaking frankly and personally..) - CD has gained momentum in my life when regular sex has taken a nose dive - this solitary pursuit that we follow (for those of us not out) therefore craves acceptance (in how we look) to other people: the 'passing' - and then beyond that, interaction with others and intimacy. But because we dress like females, the majority attraction is from males, even though we may desire females. And I further suspect that sometimes (because I think there are theories that actually everyone is bi but society supresses that as unhealthy behaviour) some of us feel that awakening as we get better at presenting as female. And some might take it further and find they like it.

Scares the tom tit out of me when I start thinking about it - but hey - life's a journey, not a guided tour! Wouldn't it be nice if more GGs liked CDs, but they don't seem to - I think some might be threatened by how good some of us look with our clobber on :devil: (only some - and only might...)

Maybe it's the Eddie Izzard thing - we're all just lesbians in a man's body... :thinking:

Good question - worthy of another glass of merlot now...

Katey x

[Hell on Heels]

I doubt there will ever be a straight forward answer to this.
With so many different levels of CD"ing going on from underdressing
to full blown out in public fully dressed and everything in between.
Tie that in with the fact that we are all individuals, with varied life experiences.
How could anyone say"this is why". I say don't try to figure it out, you'll go crazy.
Just have fun with it, it's just part of who you are. And have a glass of wine with Katey.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Marcelle]

You are correct, this question has been down the pathway a few times and unfortunately there is not real checklist answer to put your mind at ease. I can no more explain why I wish to dress like a woman and present publicly than I can explain why I wish to dress like a man and present publicly. I have just come to accept it is who I am and sometimes I wish to be seen as a girl and sometimes a boy . . . both are part of me. It is a very confusing thing we do and I fully understand when you say it seems to be taking over your life . . . been there got the t-shirt. Some refer to it as the pink fog but in reality is your desire to express what you most likely hid for so long and now that you have the latitude to do so it is intoxicating and in a way addictive. This will most likely quell to some degree the more you do it but then there is always the next phase. For example if you don't go out in public then decided you want to, at first very scary then you want to do it more then again it quells as it becomes part of who you are.

My advice go with the flow but don't let it control you and your life. However in the end it is part of you and you will need to accept it, control it then integrate it to a point which makes you happy and at peace. This is what I am attempting to do right now.

Hugs

Isha

[lingerieLiz]

The problem is that many lump sex, gender and associated interactions all together. Separate them and life starts to make sense. You may be male in body but also female as you perceive yourself. You may like girls for sex, but enjoy attention from men for validation of your appearance. Science hasn't figured it out other than they know they don't know.

[Isabella77]

I've always admired femininity sooo much. I like girls so much I want to be able to see myself in her place. I want that feeling so bad that sometimes it's hard to think about anything else. If it weren't for crossdressing I would go absolutely crazy. It is so hard to face life having these feelings. Everyone expecting me to be a boy and caring nothing about my feelings. Of course they can't know my feelings but somehow I want people to respect the way I feel inside instead of imposing roles on me that I do not want to fill. Anyone who feels like this and has a macho older brother, father, or other male role must find it extremely difficult to fit in. I always have. It's so bad for me that I don't necessarily want to be noticed as a man. I consider myself more unisex and try to avoid any sexual identity as a man. When I crossdress however, I feel like there is finally a part of me that I've found that is actually me. There is no expectation. I'm just a beautiful sexual girl, lonely as she may be - but she is still herself. She's more herself than the me that I walk around as all day long.

[Rachelakld]

Maybe XY chromosomes trying to find a more stable solution ie XX configuration.
Maybe we're all crazy.

My advice, have fun with it, otherwise you will go crazy in a bad way.

[Beverley Sims]

Enjoy the confusion while you are still sane.
Otherwise you may find yourself beating your head against a wall like the rest of us.
Do like a lot of us have done over time....
Stop thinking about it and just get on with what ever interests you. :)

[rocketscientist]

Well, it happens like this. All embryos are identical in external appearance for the first eight weeks of gestation, and then several factors nudge the infant toward male or female development. In the seventh week, the embryo has both male and female primordial ducts. In the normal female fetus, the millerian duct system then develops into oviducts and a uterus. In the normal male fetus, the wolferian duct system on each side develops into the epididymis and vas deferens. The external genitalia are similarly bipotential until the eighth week (The reproductive organs and genitals associated with "female" or "male" arise from the same initial (fetal) tissue). Thereafter, the urogenital slit disappears and male genitalia form or alternatively, it remains open, and female genitalia form.

If the egg was fertilized with the x chromosome then the female structures continue to mature, the default system.

However if the y chromosome fertilized the egg then a hormonal switch happens,,, two genes are activated and the female structures are completely dissolved and destroyed and the male organs take their place. But some embryos step off track. If the fetus is a male? It is normally under the influence of the mother’s female hormone (her estrogen) for nine months the first trimester being the most critical in brain development.

In a pregnant woman, the binding action between special blood proteins and estrogens ties up most of the hormone circulating and thus acts to protect fetuses from excessive estrogen exposure in the womb.
As for the disparity between the number of M to F’s compared to F to M’s , the default is female and any disruption will disproportionately affect the male fetus plus many chemicals which are ubiquitous around the world, such as DDT, have estrogenic potential, whereas there are fewer chemicals which have androgenic potential.

[Lorileah]

t what makes a straight guy suddenly want to look like a female and then feel the urge to be noticed and pass as a female.

what does being straight have to do with it? You are doing what many lay people do and thinking that sex and crossdressing have to be linked. They aren't

[CD_blue]

I spent sometime thinking about this for me personally. About two weeks or so I really poured some thought into it.

I just finally gave up, came the conclusion that I didn't have any idea whatsoever, decided to give up figuring it out and focus my attention on more important matters. Like learning how to do make up better :)

[Adriana Moretti]

pretty sure this has been covered a million times before
bThis seems to be taking over my life and I have no idea why??

The real question is not why......but Why Not. LOL !

[AnnieMac]

So what you are saying Rocketscientist, is that being male is kind of a software "glitch"

My take on it all for a long time, and probably out there and wrong now, is that CDing is not the result of having gay tendencies, it's the result of being kind of an Uber-Hetereosexuality.(DOH! Did I just say UBER) We just love women so much, an and things about them, we want to look, act, and become them to a certain degree.
Not sure that holds in my own mind anymore, since I seemed to have combined gender and sexuality, which is a bit of a mistake. I don't think those things are completely separate, but they are way different for the most part. OK, I'll shut up now.

[5150 Girl]

I guess I've just always felt like a miss-assigned lipstick lesbian.