All or nothing

[NikiMichelle]

I am a stay at home CD with an accepting wife. I mostly dress only without the full makeup and wig but completely dress.

I get really uncomfortable if she walks in on me while I am in the midst of dressing. It brings on feelings of embarrassment and shame and I am not sure why? I prefer to present myself to her in a completed outfit.

Does anyone else feel this way and can offer a reason for feeling this way?

[Laura912]

We, despite all the help here, are still dealing with societal condemnation of our dressing. This transfers as guilt and shame of our selves. I am the same way. In fact, the only impediment to dressing a lot more is ....moi. Hence, one of the new Year's resolutions was to dress more. You might ask your wife how she feels about seeing you partially dressed.

[Miriam-J]

I was the same way for a long time, Niki. I attribute my shyness to the decades spent hiding this passion from others - something not necessary with this wife. I still internally cringe a bit when she comes in while I'm in process and she knows it, but she's helped me to become more comfortable with her presence and she does so much to help me with makeup and clothing choices. Just take a deep breath and make the most of it.

Miriam

[Tina955]

I think our minds tell us if they watch us getting dressed, they will see me the man dressing in lingerie. While showing her the fully dressed you, we want to think we look good in their eyes. Think of the beauty of Disney world. If all the behind the scene stuff was visible for a while it would kind of ruin the beauty. If that makes any sense ;-

Tina

[NikiMichelle]

Tina, thanks, I'd say you nailed it!

[rocketscientist]

For me, I feel uncomfortable dressing in front of anyone. During that time I undergo a transformation, not only in appearance but thought processes and feelings too when I let my inner girl take over. I wish there was pill I could take to instantly switch and avoid that awkward time. May sound strange to some but that's how it feels for me.

[Beverley Sims]

It is something I grew out of and we are both at ease with the situation these days.

[Tracii G]

I have only dressed once in front of my BBF enfemme and it didn't seem weird at all.
Went into the bathroom while she was finishing her make up.She said do you need the make up mirror I'm almost done.
I said no you finish up so I put on my make up as she looked on.She said wow I never thought about face primer does it work well?
She said I can't wait to see how you do with the eyeliner.
She was very interested to see how I did my make up which was really nice.

[CD_blue]

I was very much so at first. I read something here that kinda made me worry even more. Flash forward to now and it's just as normal as putting on any male clothing.

[Adriana Moretti]

Yea..Tina nailed it.....I see others feel that way too

[Mistyjo]

I was when i first told my wife about my cding but when she ask if she could do my makeup it changed

[Cheryl T]

I felt that way at first too. You are still concerned that she will react negatively. We all hate to be rejected by someone we love.
Don't worry, be happy! Time will make that uneasiness go away. Now it's just as natural for me to walk around the house in bra and panties while I'm dressing as it is for me when I'm fully dressed. We help each other with zippers, adjusting straps and so on and it's not even a thought about how she might react....give it time.

[Teresa]

I find it tricky to get dressed in drab because of my shaved legs, but if I was in that situation I think Tina is right especially if you still have body hair but I would love someone to do my makeup and nails.

[lesli]

Niki,
i feel the same way, but if she helps me in the transition, then it feels very natural.
hugs,
lesli

[vallerie lacy]

I guess there seems to be a lot of us that feel uncomfortable dressing in front of our honeys. It used to bother me for the same reasons as you. Definitely embarrassed and feeling shame for doing what we are doing. Than it occurred to me. She not only wants me to be who I am when I am dressed, but she also wants to see me get to that stage. After all, she's been dressing in panties, bras, etc. all her life. Now I am no longer embarrassed. Now I love pulling up my stockings and hooking them to my garter belt in front of her. I now enjoy it. I'm at peace in my panties. Try it, you'll like it. In fact, you'll enjoy it!

[Valarie]

I have felt like this too, the first times I dressed, I would ask her to leave the room, or I would dress before she got home from work. Now I am getting better about it, what helped was when we go shopping and come home to try on clothes. I usually like to do my makeup first before just because I hate dressing and looking like a guy in women's clothes. Now I will leave the bathroom open while I do my makeup and ask her for her opinion. I used to feel worried that her seeing me in the transformation process would make her uncomfortable or not want me to dress. But it was just my own fears and insecurities.

[CynthiaD]

I felt that way for a while, mainly because I felt like a noob to everything and I was afraid my wife would laugh and tell me I was doing everything wrong. I got over it, and so will you.

[Madeline80]

There is no discomfort with my wife being there, but I prefer to go into the bathroom as a yucky boy and emerge as a sexy chick (I wish). Then right away go and show her my results - TaDa! I've been really working on my makeup skills and it helps to get it done without any distraction

[JessMe]

I do a pretty good job dressing myself (clothing choice, accessories, etc.), according to my girlfriend, so I prefer to be shaved and fully dressed before she sees me. I'm not very good at makeup though, so I do require her help in that department. As far as the feeling of embarrassment or shame goes, I still do feel a little bit nervous about CDing around her, even though she's awesome and supportive about it. It's like I have explained to her in the past though... you spend most of your life hiding something, it's kinda hard to change that feeling overnight.

[Gillian Gigs]

That about sums up with the way I felt about getting dressed in front of my wife for several years. This gradually changed to the point where I now don't think about it much anymore. All I can say about the reasoning behind the embarrassment is that we all need to get comfortable with who we are. Sometimes we can not accept ourselves as much as others accept us, and that can cause us to not understand why we feel the way that we do.

I have worn lingerie for years, I also like to wear a skirt and pantyhose around the house. There is still the odd time when I am home for the day that I think, oh I have to change now because the wife will be home any time from work. Duh, she knows what I wear, as I wear it in front of her all of the time, so where does that thought come from. Do I still acceptance doubts??? Or do I still live with a secret fear that one day she will say stop doing that?? I just attempt to do my best to love and appreciate her for the fact that she accepts me, quirks and all.

[StacyCD]

My SO tolerates (not quite accepts) my dressing around the house. I guess because she has not really accepted my dressing that I don't 'change' in front of her. I don't think it really has much to do with the years of hiding that part of myself. If she were more accepting, I'm guessing I would be less uncomfortable. As a second thought, those of us that can dress in front of our SOs are truly lucky when compared with those that have totally unaccepting spouses!

[Polly R]

That's cleared something up for me, I'd always wondered how others felt getting dressed with their SO's present. As Niki has said, I too feel a bit embarrassed getting dressed in front of my SO - similar feelings of 'I shouldn't be doing this, I'm supposed to be a big hulky man.' I can't stop being a CDer, once a CDer, always a CDer... I'm not so bad once I've got dressed fully and I'm quite happy for her to alter things for me - warpaint, what I'm currently wearing etc, ie. 'Why don't you try this or that,' as she brings them out of my closet. And this is after what? Not far short of 40 years as a confirmed CDer... And my SO is reasonably tolerant of me being dressed around her, it's just me that feels awkward sometimes in front of her.

Polly

[Steph_CD_62]

I was the same way. With the ex-wife I could never get dressed in front of her. At the beginning with my current wife I had a hard time getting dressed in front of her, but now it just bothers me a little and I continue as if nothing out of the ordinary happened.