looking at moving in with someone

[Jess6887]

hey i just need some advice i am looking at moving in to a place soon, hoping to be by myself but maybe with a guy whom i've never met also, they know i crossdress and am happy for me to dress as i please, but i just need your suggestions
any tips you could give me

[Beverley Sims]

I rented a house and had three girls share the lease.
It was really the story of my life.
They made me sooo welcome. :)
I refer to it often.

[Jess6887]

Wow that would had been an amazing experience

[Lorileah]

You are going to move in with a guy you never met? Yeah that sounds really safe :facepalm:

[kimdl93]

A little echo here. I'd meet this person before making any deal to share a place.

[chelyann]

you may want rethink this !!!!
even with out crossdressing this is not the brightest idea !
a complete stranger , this could go good or bad , probably a poor outcome !!!
im not trying be mean just looking at the whole picture of most friendships / relationships !!

[Katey888]

Jess - just what everyone has said before me but x10...!!

Have you shared before? Are you aware how fraught even friendly relationships can be once folk share? And add something like CD into the mix.... what a stranger says before experiencing it first hand can be taken with a pinch of salt. Sorry... but how old are you? Don't want to be harsh but would rather someone was offended but SAFE. :hugs:

So... Suggestion: Don't

Tip: find someone you know or like minded and vet them first

Really do wish you well but be careful...

Katey x

[JocelynJames]

I've read fictional stories of cross dressers being blackmailed and things going horribly wrong. Probably why I keep it to myself. Just saying, be ultra careful. -JJ

[mikiSJ]

You are in NYC - contact the various "T" organizations and see if they list rooms to share. At least you would be starting off with someone who has skin in the game.

[reb.femme]

You are going to move in with a guy you never met? Yeah that sounds really safe :facepalm:

Said it all for me too Lorileah!

Wow! Playing with hungry Lions may be safer......IMHO.

Rebecca

[Ressie]

Meet with this person and get to know him a little before deciding. You'll really get to know him once you live with him. Heck, I went on the road with a band of 5 people that I just met and ended up living with them all for 5 years. College students room with other students they never met. There are risks in most anything worth while. I would get as much info as possible on any potential roomies first. Some people will just drive you up the wall with some weird habit they have.

[Dianne S]

You are going to move in with a guy you never met? Yeah that sounds really safe :facepalm:

I've done that before and made really good friends. You have to go with your gut, though, and be prepared to walk away if something seems "off".

[Eryn]

...College students room with other students they never met....

And, even though these roomates have been somewhat vetted by the fact that they have been accepted by a college, ugly situations still come up often. It happened to me.

Blind dates are bad enough, but moving in with someone you don't know is not something that you want to do voluntarily.

[Monet's dream]

Please be really careful. While it may turn out great, it could also turn out poorly.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jess, Be careful what you wish for.

[heatherdress]

Jess - Ditto what everyone else has said. You don't just move in with someone you don't know. Not in NYC. Not anywhere. You have to get to know them first, for your own safety and security.

Also, you just don't find new roommates, roommates you have never met, and want them to accept crossdressing AND "be happy for you to dress as you please". Where do you expect to find anyone like that? How do you find someone who will love that you are a crossdresser?

Be careful!

[Caden Lane]

Advertise for another gender variant roomie.

[Adriana Moretti]

Jess - Where do you expect to find anyone like that? How do you find someone who will love that you are a crossdresser?


You find them right here.....I think its a great Idea cd's room together......that is...If they know each other.....she got me thinking....I am not too far away and lived in NYC before and dont have much privacy since I moved back home

[Vanessa Rose]

Sorry, I still don't understand!

Much good advice given but first;

Where are you moving from? Parents house?
Why are you moving?
What is the reason you are moving now?
Why & how does this situation appeal to you now after all these comments....

I am missing something likely based on your too brief statement/post.

CAUTION FRIEND...

[Adriana Moretti]

Vanessa...you ARE missing something.....I diddnt write the post LOL......I said I thought it was a good idea 2 cd's were roomates ...it sounds like an ideal situation for girls like us to have a roomate who dresses as opposed to one who diddnt and you had to hide your dressing from.......the idea of it made me think...what a REALLY good idea that is...and by saying you find that person in here Vanessa...I meant me...I live close by

[KaceyR]

I think 2 CDers as roomates would be "almost" fantastic...I say almost because think of the double closet space/rooms needed for all the clothes!
:D
Although if my rent was halved by a roommate..I could afford even more clothes.....it's a slippery slope... :)

Really like any rooming situation, you should really meet and 'interview' each other to make sure of compatibility.
Being a CDer just adds to the situation.
When I first went to college/tech School (DeVry in Lombard/chicago) I roomed into an apartment with 3 other guys.
Aside from overcharging (DeVry was a money gouger in a lot of ways), it was beyond control-we got stuck with who we got stuck with and that's it.
2nd tech school after 6 months of DeVry gouging) I roomed with a guy I was friends with in High School..(he graduated the year after me).
While we understood each other, maintenance wasn't good and I had to get out of there.
Went to another place and talked all over with this guy who I didn't know (but went to same tech school) just to make sure of boundaries, expectations,etc. Was a pretty amicable run..till he left.
He sent over a "fill-in roommate" to finish out his lease run. (I didn't have good choice with this).
2 months later he'd evacuated w/only paying rent once. Not good...
After that fiasco I went solo apartment-wise since.

So, overall things need to be discussed with the person first...I wouldn't just blindly room with him until all is known. Specifics on rent/utils/etc need to be laid out.. and specifics and expectations on personal stuff need to be worked out. Hobbies,general social things...etc including the CDing aspect.
Also depending how things are setup with the place, utilities,etc also need to be arranged and it's been better to arrange agreement in written form if it's not built into leasing,etc.
Seen enough horror stories in Judge Judy's court from funky/not well arranged rooming.

[Adriana Moretti]

thats funny Kacey...I thought the SAME thing....closet space LOL !!!!

[Vanessa Rose]

I got this one Adriana (about time really huh)! I thought that would work out fine. I was needing more info from whomever started the post.

I don't know If I would want a guy room mate or a gg. Likely a gg. But I guess it just depends on the situation and roommate. A gg would eliminate me getting more confused than I already am and that would be of some benefit I suppose. Yes?

Vanny

[Beverley Sims]

As an addendum to my previous thread, the girls wanted a guy around as they did not want to be seen as three girls sharing a house by themselves.
Lorileah was blunt in her message but to the point.
You need to survey all your prospects before sharing.

[Ressie]

Even moving in with someone you think you know can turn out terrible. Jess, is your current living situation already bad? Living with parents or an estranged spouse can make one desperate to move out, but I'm thinkng that you want more freedom to CD at home.

[heatherdress]

Doesn't matter if the person you move in with is a crossdresser themselves or not. What matters is if they are decent, if they are trustworthy, if they are compatible, if they are responsible, if they respect your privacy, and if they accepting.

If you have to live with someone, you have to check them out real good, try to get to know who they are and how they will act with candid conversations, reach understandings/responsibilities/rules before you move in, put important agreements and schedules in writing - and hope that it works out. By the way, a respectful, open-minded female roommate might be more interesting and supportive for a crossdresser to live with than another crossdresser who may have totally different interests and behaviors.

Since you already live somewhere in NYC, you are probably aware that you more likely to find accepting roommates and neighbors if you seek certain neighborhoods.

By the way - the most successful roommates are found by referrals from people you know. Friends and co-workers would be good resources.

[Dianne S]

Even moving in with someone you think you know can turn out terrible.

That is true. I moved in with someone I didn't know and we became good friends. Another time, I moved in with a good friend and our friendship quickly deteriorated... anything can happen.

When I was younger, I preferred living with people I only knew casually as opposed to good friends. If it didn't work out with the casual acquaintance, not much was at stake, whereas losing a good friend once you discover what they're really like is a bummer.

[NatalieMN]

Another time, I moved in with a good friend and our friendship quickly deteriorated... anything can happen.

I have had the same thing happen, and the friendship didn't deteriorate because of crossdressing. Sometimes friends can't live together and hopefully you can find out soon enough where it doesn't totally wreck the friendship, even after moving out.

To the original OP: I agree with everyone else who said you may want to rethink this. Moving in with someone you don't know could be dangerous, so I suggest taking a step back and looking at this objectively to be sure why you want to live with this person and if you think it is a good idea. Maybe it will work out fine, but it is always best to be sure before things progress too far.

[char GG]

I agree with everyone's warning to carefully interview the person you are moving in with and don't jump in too quickly.