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Tina_gm
01-20-2014, 03:55 PM
I read on here quite often of a lot of stereotypes of men and women. Especially of men, how they lumber along, the drab boring way of dressing, emotionless, cold narrow minded.

While there are men out there like this, the ones who only have food, sex and cars on the brain, the portrayal of men other than ourselves is a bit of a stretch to put it mildly.

Certainly there are differences between men and women. IMO other than dressing styles, far more subtle than what is so often portrayed here. Not all men lumber along. Many just walk with one foot in front of the other. Many have plenty of passion and emotion, and do cry when there is great sadness. I do think that too often there is a disservice to men in general when it comes to how some of us think of them and portray them.

When it comes to women, again, as if women were all or should be so elegant and classy at all times. Certainly there are times where both men and women should be. And yes, women to a degree more often then men to exude more elegance and class. But for the everyday situation, far too high of an expectation of that, and of the femininity some of us attempt, sometimes far too hard and too much so, for everyday situations.

I am more feminine than the average guy, and dressing in women's clothing is a pleasant experience for me. The farther I travel on my journey through gender variance and just living my life, the more I am now seeing how there is not this vast canyon of difference between men and women. There are those who are ultra masculine and ultra feminine who are the stereotype. They are on the extreme sides. Most people do lie within these opposite ends. We as CDers obviously lie somewhere in the middle if not on the opposite side, and that is fine. We are human. I just want to express how I am seeing the extreme looked upon and stereotyped as the normal. For a group which desperately fights stereotypes to gain acceptance, we as a group should be better at not stereotyping and judging others.

Wildaboutheels
01-20-2014, 04:14 PM
JMO of course, but I think the reason for stereotyping [for most people] is simply as a matter of convenience. It makes it very easy to "blame" Society for personal behavior. I believe this is amply illustrated every day at these Forums.

kimdl93
01-20-2014, 04:26 PM
I agree. The reality is that we know people are a mix of attitudes and motions, not bound or predetermined by external genitalia. I find it odd that sometimes these very stereotypes are amplified by people here.

StacyCD
01-20-2014, 04:29 PM
Stereotypes are changing. A while back a man with an earring was rather unusual. A woman with a tatoo was similarly 'different'. Now we don't blink at a man with an earring and it's hard to find a woman without a tatoo!

Beverley Sims
01-21-2014, 12:49 PM
I think I fit into your last paragraph.
I don't do much stereotyping or judging for that matter, I just accept you for yourself and If I don't like you I may never bother to have coffee with you again. :)

Nadine Spirit
01-21-2014, 01:37 PM
Good post Gendermutt, I agree.

Gillian Gigs
01-21-2014, 01:38 PM
As long as we have ignorance, we will have stereotyping. It allows for people to categorize others into what they know, or think that they know. Stereotyping reminds me of what a Soc. Prof once said in class, "all _____ are drunks, the one I saw was"! Must be nice to be so narrow minded!

Katey888
01-21-2014, 02:35 PM
Narrow minded is right! This is a very balanced perspective, gendermutt - I think we all need to remember that stereotypes are a deliberate over-simplification and that they are not always (or rarely) appropriate when dealing with the very wide variance of folk that we have in our community.

If I've developed one thing in just the month or so I've been discussing things here, it's a greater tolerance and understanding of other's POV and sometimes predicaments - and I didn't think I was too bad to begin with, but it's opened my eyes a fair bit wider.... :)

Katey x

Hell on Heels
01-21-2014, 03:01 PM
The cover of Esquire Magazine reads Weird Men. It has a survey in it , I haven't read the article, and hope somebody will. Supposedly has to do with mens traits, or men being more in touch with their feminine side.
Stereotyping is a fact of life, fortunately most stereotypes do change over time. What seemed weird a few years ago doesn't seem as strange today. People may still not understand it, but will accept it as they become more aware of the weird things. A little education can go a long way to lessen the shock factor.
Much Love,
Kristyn

MsVal
01-21-2014, 03:29 PM
Yes, Gendermutt there are stereotypes, they are often inaccurate, and they may unfairly favor or disfavor a group of people. Aside from lamenting the problem, what can be done about them?

There were ethnic stereotypes that have largely vanished over time. Some vanished due to the passive actions of a large group of people. For example: The Japanese are no longer thought of the same way they were during World War II. In the years since the war, the demeanor of a great number of Japaese people proved the stereotype was simply wrong. Other stereotypes were changed through overt actions by a comparitively small group of people. The U.S. civil rights movement was spearheaded by a fairly small number of activists but managed to get anti-discrimination laws passed that invalidated the stereotype in business and educational fields.

More to the point of this discussion; what can a tiny number of CDs do to change the stereotype, or should they accept it and find ways to cope with it?

Lorileah
01-21-2014, 04:01 PM
More to the point of this discussion; what can a tiny number of CDs do to change the stereotype, or should they accept it and find ways to cope with it?

when you make a small number even smaller because your life isn't really effected on a daily basis, it is improbable. CDs can quickly disappear and hide when things get tough. Not so when your stereotype is blatantly obvious like race or ethnicity. This is proven here on these boards everyday. When someone says "Stand up! Be counted! Get rights!" it is like turning on the kitchen light at night while the mice are playing....they scatter like leaves. Some even complain about those who do stand up saying "don't rock my boat!" We have been left behind by the L&G communities and even recently thrown under the bus because we won't fight for ourselves. DADT is prime example. It is OK to be Gay or Lesbian in the military now, but Transgender is still a dismissal. Right to work, OK if you are gay but most states don't have protections for TG.

MsVal welcome aboard. I too had your dreams.

Kate Simmons
01-21-2014, 05:11 PM
I never stereotype anyone. I just appreciate others for who they are as people. This includes both men and women.:)