When if at all can we officially stop calling ourselves Trans?

[Sephina]

I'm following Grishno on Facebook and she had an interesting question, she had been transitioning for few years and has "completed" her transition into her correct gender so she asked if she could officially take Trans out of her status and just be recognized as a woman. Is there a qualifying amount of time? Should you ever not consider yourself Trans? Would love to get others thoughts on this .

[LeaP]

Whenever you like. "Trans" is a point of view. It doesn't define who you are.

[Sephina]

Right I'm not signifying an identifier I'm basically trying to properly reword Erins question.

[Inna]

complicated issue, because it takes several points of view under consideration.
As per Medical Handbook, Transsexuality is curable, allow the body to align with innate brain gender and you are done!
However, Transwoman is a term describing not only the new, but also the original state of genetic makeup of the body, once transitioned, it still retains the same genetic code therefore scientifically it is a morph. She is a woman now, but a woman containing a male genetic code within her cellular structure. But it gets even more complicated, now her cells act as though they are woman's cells, the cellular metabolism is altered due to introduction of estrogen compound, a metabolic computer code if you will.

I for one, do live my life as a genuine woman I feel I am, however, genuine part could be misconstrued and bluntly dismissed in the eyes of scrutiny. I simply have nothing to prove, but feel of who I am, and such leads to being self, a woman.

[Jorja]

Most say whenever you want to stop it. I felt after SRS was my stopping point. Yet, I didn't feel I could call myself a woman because there was so much more to learn about being a woman than I ever imagined.

[PaulaQ]

I don't ever intend to stop calling myself "trans". This is mostly for political purposes - I already view myself as simply "a woman." But apparently, many of the heteronormative cis-gendered folk of the world are completely freaked out by our existence, and are quite uncomfortable with us. The hell with them. I didn't spend 50 years in the closet to go back into another one.

[tori-e]

I have a stack of paper an inch thick from medical doctors, psychologist, provincial and federal governments. They all say I'm female. From my perspective everyone I meet sees me as a woman. It's all really nice, but I'm a transwoman. Was before transition. Still am. I like that the world treats me like a woman. But for me dropping the "trans" part would be, in a way, denying a big part of who I am. Living life in the wrong gender was a kind of hell. Transitioning was the hardest thing I ever did. I see being trans and surviving transition as being something to be proud of. I'll always be trans.

But that's just my opinion. :)

Victoria

[bas1985]

I would simply distinguish the "history" of having been trans to the arrival status. The history cannot be cancelled, but it is gone.
The present is who I am now. Then there is the dual aspect of transition.

The internal transition, which usually ends with SRS, end the external, social transition. They are different, and may be not completed
together. The social transition is to act, behave, and be treated like a woman by other cis-women. To blend completely in the
new gender. For some Transsexual the first transition (have a congruent body) is more important, for others I see that it is more
important the second (and for the second a total physical transition may be not necessary), even if for a successful social transition
a degree of physical transition is inevitable.

I think that one person can drop the "Trans" prefix if she completes the social transition, but it is only my modest opinion.

[Badtranny]

Call yourself whatever you want.

I was raised to be a man. I struggled with confusion and misunderstandings for the first half of my life.

My transition may indeed be complete at 46 but there is no sorcery that can undo the fact that I have transitioned. I now live in harmony with my spirit but that was not always the case.

Anyone who pretends they never experienced life as a man is simply deluding themselves. It happened, it left a mark, you have moved on, but your past will always be YOUR past.

[Angela Campbell]

First things first.

An official Tranny license is difficult to obtain in the first place. The IBT (International Board of Tranny's) may consider approval of a licence to anyone who passes the strict criteria set forth, yet kept extremely secret. Once issued the process of release from this is even more difficult.

The ITB historically refuses to identify who is licensed and never actually informs anyone to whom a license is issued, much less who they have released from such status.

For years Wikileaks has attempted to uncover information on this but so far has not been very successful. Rumors fly but no real concrete information has been released to date.

[Michelle.M]

I don't know why this would even be a question. Your FB friend can call herself trans or not as she wishes. We use the labels we want to use, and nobody else defines us.

Being trans is not a designator like man or woman (although some people prefer to describe themselves in such a way). I recently filled out a form at my school and for "gender" the choices were Male, Female, Transgender. Huh? Male and female, I get. Since when is Transgender a gender? That's like saying New York, Boston or Airplane. Two of those words describe destinations, the other is a way to get there.

Transgender is a word that describes me, whether I like it or not (but whether I choose to use it or not is my business). I'll never get to be "not trans" any more than I can be "not veteran" or "never married". It's just something that describes part of my life experience, but it's not my identity unless I want it to be.

[Angela Campbell]

I can see the designation of Transgender, since there are some who live in the middle. I prefer to be on one end of the spectrum but I know some who are surely neither one completely.

[arbon]

I was talking to a woman a few days ago who transitioned in the 70's. She was young when she transitioned. She told me she is not trans anything, she's a woman. In her life no one but a few people know and its never talked about. All stealth. Her own adult children don't even know of her medical past.
I was very surprised she choose to confide in me, a stranger.


Thats all fine but its not my life. People are going to know I am trans, they will be able to tell when looking at me, or they will hear about it from someone or they will google my name and discover it.
As long as they are not jerks about it I am okay with it.

[LeaP]

I can see the designation of Transgender, since there are some who live in the middle. I prefer to be on one end of the spectrum but I know some who are surely neither one completely.

It's an interesting point - does the "transgender" option presume that one would NOT check off male or female???


Right I'm not signifying an identifier ...

The thing is that you are, really. You're posing the question from the posture that one must (or perhaps should) describe themselves as trans for some period, i.e., before "officially" dropping it.

There a times when categorization (not "labels" - let's skip THAT argument) is helpful. It certainly helps for your therapist to see you as transsexual and diagnose you with GD, for example - at least if you want to start down a transition path involving medical providers. It helps in associating and identifying with other like trans people. Etc. It's even OK to identify as trans if that's what floats your boat.

On the other hand, it can simply be looked at as part of your history, as both Melissa and Michelle indicated.

The question is what in your life is the core around which you will coalesce your identity? That something is inarguably part of your life experience OR describes you from some point of view doesn't make it part of your identity. I'm a Western Hemispherian, for example. Believe me when I say that this forms NO part of my self identity! A little closer to home, I'm an alum of a certain college. It means very little to me, yet one's alma mater means a great deal to the identity of many.

The question of whether there are things which are an essential part of one's identity is difficult to answer. Most would say gender is essential, for example - even for cisgendered people for whom it is largely unconscious in many ways. Is being trans like that? I don't think so - there are too many who say it stops describing their lived experience. It seems like some feel compelled to keep the trans description, though. Perhaps this is buying into the deception meme.

[Angela Campbell]

Sometimes it depends on the place or setting. Here I am a Tranny, at support meetings I am also, but when I go to the grocery store I am just another person from the neighborhood picking up stuff for dinner. As Lea pointed out it is a good identifier for when it is useful, but other than that ......well.


And perhaps the Transgender choice on a form is better than "I dunno"

[Sally24]

I liken it to being a mother. You can identify yourself as a woman or a mother. Both are correct but each only describes a little bit of the person. If you no longer self identify as trans that's fine but most people will consider that trying to block out your past. I say whatever let's you sleep at night.

[LeaP]

... but most people will consider that trying to ...

And this is life with a Scarlet Letter. I don't need to bear someone else's condemnation (and that's what it would be in this instance).

There are many of these with which the general populace likes to marginalize people by refusing to let them move past The Big Distinction. Ex-con. Adulterer. Class and social status. Nationality and religion. Race. Etc. You can put money on the fact that trans is every bit as bad to most. Of course, few non-trans people use "trans" - they will substitute transsexual (if you are lucky) or worse (most of the time). Either way, it carries the same message: you aren't like me, so anything you get is a courtesy. And you need to own it because not to do so is an affront to my normalcy.

[alannanicole]

i say anything postop stealh no knowledge of any transition can drop trans, or even the really stealthy pre op can drop the trans, but some of us... yea... that aint never gunna happen... im lucky if i get even seen as even fem let alone a woman..even when its VERY obvious im far from an average guy.. in that case its easier to say im trans to keep idiots from using HE all the DAMN TIME!!

[Sephina]

Actually Lea like I said I personally am not pointing out any identifiers yes there is use of identifying terms but once again this was not a question posed by me but by someone that I look up to in our community as a personal hero, yes trans is being used as an identifier but not directly from me albeit this is my post so I suppose you could argue that I'm using the term indirectly but not directly which I find is a Symantec difference maybe but a difference all the same

Very good insight here I appreciate reading the different opinions presented. I was simply curious as to what different people thought on the matter

[Pink Person]

A transgender person by any other name is still a transgender person.

Our minority status can't be wished away. We belong to our primary gender groups but are different from most of the other people in those groups. You can add or subtract the bells and whistles you want but that doesn't make you the same as the people who were born with them. This is a real difference that we should learn to live with because we can't erase it. We can only hide it or let it show.

If there are only two kinds of people in the world then we are neither of them. If we are men or women then there is more than one way to be either of them.

[Rianna Humble]

I disagree with Pink. Where transition is complete, then the medical condition that is transsexuality is cured and there is no need to parade oneself with a banner for ever more saying "I used to suffer from a medical condition but although I am cured, everyone should know about it".


When I was young, I had an operation to remove my tonsils - that makes me different from those who still have them, but I don't post that as my facebook status either

[Angela Campbell]

I fully intend to one day just be a woman. Not trans just a lady.

[tori-e]

...choices were Male, Female, Transgender...

I think this is a failed attempt at trying to be being sensitive to the fact that there are more options than male or female.

I spent most of my career writing business applications software. Years before I ever transitioned we would have software forms with these sorts of questions. I would always joke that the question "Sex:" should be answered "yes" or "no".

At one point we were writing software for one of those points cards things you use at the cash register. It was up to the cashier to fill in the form for the customer. Now you are asking someone to look at a person and decide if there are male or female. We decided that form would be "Gender:", "Male", "Female" and "Unspecified".

The purpose of the form is to help the store market to your needs. ie: Females might be more likely to buy makeup. But some forethought and sensitivity are required.

Victoria

[LeaP]

Basic model fail in a couple of respects, Tori. Ambiguity. Missing values ("unspecified"). Imputed associations. Etc.

It was a reasonable way to model gender at one time, but no longer. Better to go with name-value pair collection for both gender and sex then take a different approach to rules construction. Or perhaps gender alone if it sufficiently addresses the domain's problem set. It doesn't work well for a retail solution where a clerk would be making the assignment, however. Interesting problem.

[Jessicah]

I realize this may seem rather simplistic, but I think a person can stop calling themselves "trans" when they finally embrace the truth about who they've been hiding from the world and decide to act upon correcting it. Everything beyond that is bringing our physical being into a construct to fit our perception relative to societal expectations. Icing on the cake, so to speak. But I've been known to completely miss the mark in such matters.

[(Sara)]

I think most certainly, trans is only an accurate description of someone in some way crossing gender line. It can be dropped at any time in which you feel you are not simply crossing, but you are now a woman. Whether that be a physical change, whether that be a mental affirmation - it doesn't matter. All transsexuals identify as the opposite gender, so it is simply down to individual preference in my opinion.

[Pink Person]

For the record, I don't believe that being transgender is an illness or a condition that needs to be cured.

If you feel sick about being transgender then by all means try to make yourself feel better. Take out your tonsils if that does the trick. However, try showing some respect for people who feel well about their natural transgender status or natural cisgender status and who don't mind keeping their tonsils.

[Angela Campbell]

For me it is most definitely a medical condition which requires medical procedures. I was born with a birth defect and it will not cure itself. I am a cisgender female with a medical condition. There is a cure.

Then again Pink, maybe you have something there. Transgender may not be a condition or illness or whatever, needing a cure. Transexxualism is a medical condition that does require a cure.

[Emily83]

My wife refers to herself as a 'trans women'. I refer to her as 'my wife', not 'my trans wife'. I guess it's about how my wife feels as opposed to how she looks (started HRT 9 months ago, living full time 6 months), nothing can happen fast enough.

I don't like lables. I don't think of, or refer to myself as a 'bisexual woman'.
You have to make the call. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. This is just my way of thinking. But 'transgender' is just an adjective, like 'blonde' or 'happy'.. No need to describe yourself every time you say your a woman. Good luck

[melissakozak]

I self identify as a 'transwoman,' which can mean so many different things depending on which the way wind blows in everyone's universe. For the sake of discussion, however, if you are crossing gender boundaries and explorations, it is simply trans, which means 'to cross.' I think once we have a level of self acceptance about WHO we are inside and then take steps to accept ourselves for WHO we are, the labels become meaningless, as we come to find ourselves feeling like whole people, regardless of gender. I found, prior to accepting who I was, that the trans label meant a lot. Now, I don't feel it means as much as I have gotten older and more mature....

[kerrianna]

I think it all depends on what you want. It's personal IMO. I totally get why someone wants to "just get on with it" and be seen purely as the gender they truly are.

I feel that way myself sometimes. I never feel as free and happy as I do when I am traveling and no one knows me and everyone sees and treats me the way I feel.

But me transitioning was to live in truth.
And part of my truth is my past. How I was born. So, I also freely admit I was born transgender because it's true. My past is quite different than most of my female friends. I am reminded of that all the time when we talk and share life experience. Just tonight a friend said she had dreams of having a penis but then said she wouldn't really know what it is like. Well, I do. So, how many women can say that?

So we are a tribe of sorts. And there is a word most people use and that is transgender and it's useful for communicating our realities and experiences.

I tend to come out as trans more than I expected for a few reasons.
First I live in a small community and most of the people in my life got to know me when I was living as male. So they witnessed the transition and being known as transgender or as a trans woman is a reality they understand and saw for themselves.

And that helps them understand the whole concept of gender identity better, esp because the other reason I come out as trans is to help educate people. I have made people who otherwise would never question gender, theirs or the way the world sees it, think twice about that. They have witnessed me and my being forthright about being trans has helped foster education and compassion I believe.

I also can thus be of help to anyone else who may be on a similar path.

The truth is, my being as female in this world is as unique as my neo vagina is unique in a room full of women. It's part of who I am and I'm, frankly, proud to be trans.

But I totally understand not using it because I feel that way a lot too. The truth is, in most of my day to day situations I just live as me. I feel accepted and seen as female like any of my friends, and I wear the trans cloak mainly on my own volition, although there are times it gets put on me. But that is just what it is.

It's just a life, like any other. We just all are different colours, ever changing.

[DebbieL]

Whenever you want.
Seriously, even after we transition, we still have a past, and when people want to know about that past, there will be times when it will come out that we were once male. If we try too hard to keep that past a secret, we begin to weave a new web of lies and deceits that can make our lives complicated. Pretty much by the time I finally started working full-time as a woman, I was seen and treated as a woman. There are times when my wife and I will go to a public function and they will see our rings. If I call her my wife, they will ask how long we've been married, I will tell them 8 years and they looked puzzled, since Gay marriage wasn't legal anywhere 8 years ago. I smile and say "at that time I was her husband, now I'm her wife". It usually gets a big smile or even a kind laugh, and things move on.

Sure, I could make up a story, tell them that we were married in the church in 2006 but it's only been LEGAL for less time, but then everything gets all weird and complicated.

I spent way too much time telling lies, trying to pretend I was a man, hating myself and others for having to live that lie. Today the truth is that I was ALWAYS a woman, and needed some medical help to correct a "birth defect".