Adoption process

[RylieCD]

Hello everyone, I was hoping someone her may have been through the adoption process could provide some insight. My wife and I are thinking about adopting a child but are a little cautious because a home study will be required. They mention looking at medical (including mental) background. Since I am closeted, my wife knows, will the adoption service somehow find out? Could what they find become public knowledge? And most importantly, could this affect our chances of becoming parents?

[mikiSJ]

First of all, never, ever lie to the investigator. (I am not presuming that you would!)

I would spend an hour with an experienced adoption lawyer and lay out all of your issues, including CDing and see what is actually asked in an interview. I am assuming you are in a lengthy marriage. If so, then stability is going to be much more important than whether or not you know not to wear hose with sandals. If they require investigation of your 'mental' state, have your licensed therapist/physician write a description of how CDing affects (or doesn't) your ability to function as a normal married parent.

I adopted my wife's son when we first married. My wife knew I CDed, but it was never brought up in the discussion with the interviewer; nor was my medical history and a previous divorce.

[Lorileah]

not unless you tell them. If you are only out to your wife it should not be an issue (unless either one of you are terrible at keeping secrets). Let's look at this from another view. What you do is not illegal (morality will depend on who is adopting to you). Another view? Do you think they will ask what position you use in bed? Do you eat certain foods? Do you like early American or contemporary?

When they look at medical they are looking for things that can effect the child's life or how long you may be around. Looking at mental, they are looking for things that can endanger the child (like anger). Put your TG on hold for now. If you need, lock away your clothes. Relax and show them what a loving family you can be.

[DeeInGeorgia]

I was afraid they might ask, but didn't. We brought our to be adopted son home from the hospital after his birth, the adoption went through 8 months later and he just turned 17 a month ago.