“Are you a man or a girl?”

[Claire Cook]

I haven’t sent in a new post in a while, but two days ago I had an experience that you might find interesting. I’d chipped a tooth on Friday, so made an appointment with my dentist to have itfixed. My dentist’s office is entirely female, and Claire loves to have her teeth done there. (“Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down…” :battingeyelashes:) (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?163855-My-trip-to-the-dentist-)&highlight) I love the girl talk while in the chair! (The dentist’s assistant has a friend who has completed her transition, so I foundout how she was doing.)

Afterwards I decided to checkout GoodWill. I found a nice sleeveless top and some sweatpants for my morning stretches and Yoga routines, and brought them to the sales counter. Ahead of me was an elderly lady with two kids who was haggling with the SA volunteer about the price of a large toy – one of those big wagon-like bikes. One of the kids, who had long hair done in a femininestyle, was very outgoing, asking the SA all sorts of questions and at one point went behind the counter to check things out. The kid’s grandmother got the kid back, and I said to her “She’s quite a handful, isn’t she?” Reply: “Yes … but he’s a boy and likes to wear his hair long.” :doh: (With little barrettes and pins? I’m sure they were there…) So the kid looks at me and asks: “Are you a man or a girl?” (How many of us have had that question? It was my first time.) I smiled at him and said “Well, I’m a little of both. By the way, I really like your hair.” I got a nice smile from the kid as they left.

My car was parked close theirs,and as I left they were trying to maneuver the wagon into an SUV. I wasn’t sure how they reacted to me, but asI pulled out I gave them a big smile and a wave – and got big smiles and waves back from all of them. (Now I’m wondering if I’d met a young TG person ….)

So being read isn't so bad after all. How many of you have had similar experiences?

[mykell]

have to say i really liked your answer for the boy,
seemed like a smooth encounter,
wonder how the boy will grow up.....

[Tracii G]

Awesome Claire you at least projected in a positive light and made a connection to them I'm proud of you.
Simple things like this are the best things we as a group can do to forward our cause.

[MsVal]

I have no idea how you came up with that great response, Claire. Now THERE is an example of relaxed confidence.

[Claire Cook]

have to say i really liked your answer for the boy,
seemed like a smooth encounter,
wonder how the boy will grow up.....

Thanks Mikell --I wonder the same.


Awesome Claire you at least projected in a positive light and made a connection to them I'm proud of you.
Simple things like this are the best things we as a group can do to forward our cause.

Tracii, really appreciate your comments. Yes, I hope these are small steps toward toleration and maybe understanding.


I have no idea how you came up with that great response, Claire. Now THERE is an example of relaxed confidence.

Wow! I've thought about how I would repond to a question like this and this is the most honest I could think of. Relaxed? Well, it's still a rush when I go out, even though I 've been out lots. Confidence? It grows with every time out. Now it just feels so natural. I guess I don't think about it.

Now has anyone else had a similar experience?

[AllieSF]

Wonderful story and a great response from you. My only time something almost similar to that happened when I was in line waiting to pay form a couple of items of clothing I was buying. This young girl told her mother that she like my feet. Now I was in male mode, shorts and flip flops from H&M I think. The flip flops were probably feminine but were in basic black with some type of grass or reed for the inner sole. I do have petite feet with no obvious callouses or ugly nails. All I could do was thank the girl for her compliment and smile at her mother. May we have many more of those encounters.

[Nicole Erin]

Most people do not care. Some may have never seen a TG before but it doesnt mean they are gonna hate.
So often people are hung up on this "passing" business but mostly it does not matter.

[Vanessa Rose]

Brilliant Claire. Thanks for posting this

Vanny

[Chickhe]

Its a funny thing... at my kids recital there were some other kids, teenage guys that wear long hair and they look pretty feminine...I'm not sure I would label them TG, but a lot of kids that age blur the lines...it is almost like we missed it and suddenly feminine is in. The kids don't really look at it like we did it is cool to do it because most older people don't get it...

[Beverley Sims]

Claire I have usually been read that way by "little kids".

I do like your come back and you handled that better than I ever did.

[natcrys]

That's a great answer .. and I'm sure that positive message will leave a good impression on that boy. :)

[Lynn Marie]

Great story Claire.

[Danielle/Mo]

If the child is a young TG just think how much better things will be for him when he is older (high school, late teens,etc ). The way times are changing (as far as acceptance is concerned ) I often wish that I was either just being born or a small child in today's world. Too bad most of these changed are taking place to late to do that much good for me or others in my age group. This makes me really sad most of the times that I think about it. I am happy for the child but depressed about what I am missing out on.

[naraxyn]

Gret story and thank you honey fortunately i have girly body.

[Laicee]

That is a great reply, and I think back and wonder what my life would have been if I had been encouraged to be who I was/wanted, instead of having the hard line drawn and informed which side of the line I would be. Anything on the other side would not be acceptable..
what 2000 miles and 20 years, (and finally a why not attitude instead of why) can do.. but I find myself lamenting such as does Danielle, what did I miss out on in my teens, 20's, 30's, and half my 40's? and find myself asking what's the point, running a cost benefit analysis of sorts.. I mean sure, you get the seat on the bus, but how many times do I take the bus? So I enjoy myself more privately, love to dress up every day and work on my makeup skills, and go shopping at the discount and thrift stores for something cute that nobody will probly ever see me in...but sometimes they do, and I really do enjoy going out in public with my one friend, and she's the only one who knows my secret for sure (well, there is the one girl at WalMart, she knew my secret real quick, and was happy enough to quickly tell all of her co workers, and then they knew, and....oh well.. I tried :)

[Claire Cook]

Thank you all for your kind comments. I do think "the times, they are a-changin' ". Witness the changing attitudes toward gay marriage, and hopefully LBGT in general.


Most people do not care. Some may have never seen a TG before but it doesnt mean they are gonna hate.
So often people are hung up on this "passing" business but mostly it does not matter.

Nicole, I agree. The only time I try to "pass" is in the ladies' room. Otherwise, I'm me and if people appreciate that, they pass! (This from Lacey Leigh's book, Out and About).


Its a funny thing... at my kids recital there were some other kids, teenage guys that wear long hair and they look pretty feminine...I'm not sure I would label them TG, but a lot of kids that age blur the lines...it is almost like we missed it and suddenly feminine is in. The kids don't really look at it like we did it is cool to do it because most older people don't get it...

Don't we wish we could be growing up now? I know I would have been much more comfortable being me, and not hung up about trying to be a macho male as I was when I was a kid.


That's a great answer .. and I'm sure that positive message will leave a good impression on that boy. :)

Natcrys, Thanks, the more we can leave positive impressions about us to people, the better it will be for all of us.

[Claire Cook]

That is a great reply, and I think back and wonder what my life would have been if I had been encouraged to be who I was/wanted, instead of having the hard line drawn and informed which side of the line I would be. Anything on the other side would not be acceptable..

I really do enjoy going out in public with my one friend, and she's the only one who knows my secret for sure (well, there is the one girl at WalMart, she knew my secret real quick, and was happy enough to quickly tell all of her co workers, and then they knew, and....oh well.. I tried :)

Laicee, I'll bet those Wal-Mart girls would be happy to see you again -- and to help you out!

[Kristy 56]

Great story and great reply. I think I'f be stammering away and walk out. I wouldn't need any blush on my cheeks either.

[Tina B.]

If that little guy was TG, which we all know is possible, then Claire may have helped a child to understand, it's OK, to be a little of both, or even switch sides if you want to, wish I had met a Claire when I was little, I had to wait until my teens to learn, I wasn't the only one like me, there really where others out there.
Claire you did a good thing, and your answer was great!