Conformists and Nonconformists

[Inna]

Very touchy subject as it peers into the wants and needs of many.
As I see it, perhaps it is the foolish in me who sees it this way, but I feel that for nearly everyone carrying the genetic malfunction of M to F Transness, would like to transition into a genuine and visually conforming female.
However, circumstances of health, funds, and sometimes will, do prevent a full immersion into the state of at lest social/visual womanhood.

And that is why we all want to see the social acceptance of our condition. My own experience though reveals the struggle and grit of social relentless scrutiny.
I felt and received my share of the looks and inquiry when in transition.
Truly such experience motivated me to further do whats necessary by any means to arrive at peace.

Are you a conformist, or non-conformist, and what is your take on societal immersion??

[Aprilrain]

mostly I'd say I'm a conformist. I'm not trying to change peoples minds about the binary and I strive to look as female as possible there by making it easy for people to accept me as such.

[thechic]

A conformist, don't want to stick out just want to live life with little as possible problems.

[josrphine]

To do what we do I would say that I am a non conformists?? I take the scrutiny an looks the same way that anyone a C D or not with a grand of salt so to speak. In florida I have seen many older women. As I am older women that I have too look at more then once. If I as a man can look very much as a good looking older women , an some of the women here just don't care about there looks. Like Inna I too might have gone for the whole change, as having come out at 65, I now enjoy the company of my wife an the many women that accepted me. I know that I am looked at as one of the girls as this past Sunday after mass one of the ladies at our table asked what kind of lipstick i had on. So I took it out an showed her she said I all ways liked the darker reds. It Was Revlon 870.

[Angela Campbell]

I just want to live as me. A woman with a job, things to do, family to see and friends to talk with. Nothing unusual other than my medical business.

[Kate Simmons]

Non-conformist. I have to be myself, society expectations notwithstanding. That's the nature of the beast for myself my friend.:)

[Ariamythe]

I would love to be a "conformist," but since notions like "passing" and "stealth" are probably not in my 6'4", broad-shouldered future, I am forced to take a non-conformist stance. In your FACE, cispeople! :D

[GabbiSophia]

I am 6 6 and blending is tough but the way dress helps. When I am dressed as a woman I am confirming because I want to fit in. Though the more I earn and experience the less conforming I care to be and more screw you I become.

[Dawn cd]

I'm a cd who doesn't crossdress. No dresses, wigs, or heels, but I do wear women's clothing in guy mode--carry a purse, jeans and tops, and sometimes light makeup. I try to push the envelope with gender signals while being straight and married. Non-conformist.

[Amy A]

I'm conformist. I want to be seen as a woman and only that; I've no desire to retain any of my previous male persona, and besides, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have the confidence to go pushing envelopes. It's an interesting subject though. I've met people who do blur the lines, and successfully so. But then I've also met people who wish to be treated as female whilst making very little effort to come across as female in any way besides clothing, or those that try to live between genders but don't have the natural androgyny to pull it off. I do however respect and admire the bravery of those that wish to be and try to look like women but quite simply don't, but still make the effort and live their lives as they want to. Society should treat all people with respect but I feel like that is nothing more than a distant dream.

[Rachel Smith]

Conformist with financial restrictions. I live my life as a woman and in general society accepts me as one until I talk but only sometimes when I don't think before I do. That is one of the financial restrictions. No funds for voice and speech therapy.

[kimdl93]

I'm very conventional in most aspects of my life. I hid from my nature for most of my life, only allowing it to exist in the closet, and deeply denying to myself that I really did want to be seen and accepted as a woman. I'm still making the compromise, but no longer denying and comfortably integrating my long denied self into my everyday life.

[dreamer_2.0]

Probably conformist. Just want a regular, dull, boring life...as female.

[JohnH]

I am definitely a non-conformist. On Sunday morning I wear androgynous clothes along with makeup. I have a femme haircut and have the body shape of a woman including breasts. And yet I sing in the deep bass register in the choir while other genetic males sing in the tenor or the baritone range.

Johanna (John)

[TeresaL]

I "think" I can fly under the radar and not get caught in the headlights as "that man in a dress." Yet I may just be fooling myself only, and the laugh probably comes after I'm out of range. I've not had any problems being out in the public. It's my inner circle of relatives and friends who have been overdosed and brainwashed on societal discrimination and bigotry. They've had a hard time mostly because they knew my male to female trans-ness, and my persistence to change into female in the last two years. It's taking more time to win them over than I would like. They are going through, or have gone through the shock, anger, guilt, grief, bargaining, acceptance, and more.

I will not though, bow down to the darker side of societal hatred and fear. Not all society is a trans enemy. We need those to be our allies, and bring the truth out to the world. Even those who are stealth need passage to be our true selves.

I conform to freedom to be our true selves.

[DeeDee1974]

While in most aspects of my everyday life I would say conformist there is one thing that keeps me from blending in. In general I do things where I am just going about my business quietlybut in my job I am constantly reminding people that I am TG.

For the most part it is a good thing. I work in human resources for a very large company, my focus is within our diversity group. Diversity is very important to my company and I am regularly going to our offices all over the US and reminding them how important diversity is. 2-3 times a week I get up in front of a group of strangers and reveal to them that I am a trans woman and how accepting the company has been. It's mostly new hires. On the positive side I have had many young people come out to me as GLBT and I have been able to point them to the support they need. In the other hand I'm sure many only see me as the trans woman inHR. Sometimes I think I should change jobs, but prior to this position I was a pretty average employee. In this role I have become a Senior Manager and finally I'm making about 3 times what I used to. So it keeps me there proud of my work accomplishments but concerned others will never just see me as the woman I want them to see me as.

[danielleb]

The whole point of conflict for me is that I am a conformist at heart. I have been relentlessly fighting the battle over how I am supposed to go about achieving that seemingly impossible dream. That's what made me sit and try to accept my miserable life for 30 years.

Today the very suggestion that there is anything male inside me is absurd to me and others, and were it that was all that is required for conformity that would be the end of the discussion for me. I'm told all the time how beautiful I am, but I can't hear it buried behind the angst I live with. The simple fact is I have never shown up at a TG meeting and anyone wonder what I'm doing there. I'm struggling right now with the personal value of having a poor person's orchi (perforating the testes and going to the E.R.). I've been harassed and stopped by the police for using the women's restroom despite laws that have been in place since 2007. In general I live an isolated and segregated life with no real friends or anyone to interact with.

To take all that into account, I am a non conformist. I don't dress to hide and conform. I'm oddly proud to be 5" 10" and love 4-6" heels. I have champagne blonde hair and stick out like a beacon wherever I go. I don't back down from the challenges from others, but that doesn't mean I invite those confrontations. Every event tears into me. When I go home, the totality of events piles on my shoulders over time. I feel destined to remain a non conformist with a spirit and soul tied to a body in a way that was never meant to be. Dreaming of simple conformity, but fighting to survive non conformity.:straightface:

[Helen Grandeis]

Inna,

You have truly reached the point of visual conformity with a stunning appearance thar passes the test of a face to face meeting. You are an encouragement and inspiration to our whole community