How much do those around us notice?

[whowhatwhen]

I had an interesting thing happen the other day.
I picked up my prescription for spiro and as my pharmacist was telling me how to take it, ect, she asked me what I was taking it for.

Now there's no point in lying to someone involved with your healthcare so I told her that it was for hormone replacement therapy.
She asked if I was transgender and I said yes.

Apparently she'd noticed the changes in me for a while now.
It's an interesting thought because now I wonder who else thinks something but is too polite to say anything.

[Cheyenne Skye]

I wonder the same thing every day. Not just at stores that I frequent, but since I'm not out at work yet, I wonder how long before someone does say something about my changing appearance.

[GabbiSophia]

My wife instantly knows when i am wearing women's pants. Yet I have worn 20 or 30 times to work and been around lots of people and never had one comment. She says and thinks that people notice. I have noticed most just don't care what you are wearing as long as it's not effecting them per say. So I would go n out on a limb and say it's prob the same when fully I am sure they notice but if it's not effecting them..they could care less.. ii am sure there is a small percentage though that talk behind your back and say stuff

[Leah Lynn]

Considering how much I notice about others, but let everything pass, I can only suppose that many others do the same. Some people are totally oblivious to their surroundings, others take in every detail. Only a few will be crude enough to point out things to others, or make snide comments. Rarely will we know what has been said after we've moved on.

Leah

[Shapeshiffter]

I found out after i went full time that many people at work had noticed that something was different. They just could not put a name to it.

[wanagione]

I think people notice the changes. I remember one time when I shaped my eyebrows, a GG friend of mine noticed somthing was different right away. At first she wasn't sure what it was that was different but she got it.

[VickyMI]

Strange but I think it's rude for someone to ask you why you are taking a prescription. That's for you and your doctor.

[Aprilrain]

I agree Vicky, depending on my mood i might have told him/her to F off, in the politest way possible of course!

Regarding girl jeans and "light make up", don't kid yourself folks, PEOPLE NOTICE! Especially woman.

[I Am Paula]

Strange but I think it's rude for someone to ask you why you are taking a prescription. That's for you and your doctor.

My pharmacist always asks about changes in my prescriptions. Trans people take some strange combinations of drugs, and his job is to make sure that it is the Drs. intent. I'm sure pharmacists find a lot of mistakes, or contra indications.
The pharmacy I go to seems to have a revolving door of employees, and I rarely see the same people twice. When my Dr. doubled my E, the pharmacist said 'This is a large dose, have you recently had a hysterectomy?' I smiled all day.

[Angela Campbell]

Strange but I think it's rude for someone to ask you why you are taking a prescription. That's for you and your doctor.

And your pharmacist who is also a Dr. (of pharmacology)



And yeah as April said people do notice, but not that many ever put 2 and 2 together.

[mary something]

I agree that people notice if you're wearing women's jeans, that's the reason I wear them :)

[Jorja]

Unless they are blind, EVERYONE notices and MOST eventually put 2 and 2 together. There are very few who will confront you on what you are doing. They would rather talk behind your back. A pharmacist noticing a change in your medication is not unusual, it is their job and I would expect them to ask about my prescriptions. If you are transitioning, get used to it and get over it. Get on with your day and have a good day while your at it.

[LeaP]

Jeans just confuse me anymore. I have a pair that I wore for a shopping trip a while ago in which I got clocked by a bunch of teenage girls, laughing and pointing. Since my company went full-time casual (real casual, not business casual) I wear them to work frequently. No one's ever batted an eyelash. Since then, I have also pierced my ears and grown my hair out. The closest anyone's come to a real comment was when my former boss also started with the company and the first time he saw me said "look at you!" I'll get another stab at that today when a former peer comes in to interview.

The question I have gotten at the pharmacy several times - it's always the estradiol – is "have you taken this before?" ... Delivered with a quizzical look.

I think people notice a lot. But like many things, it's just a quick semi-conscious observation, quickly forgotten.

[whowhatwhen]

Strange but I think it's rude for someone to ask you why you are taking a prescription. That's for you and your doctor.

Well, your pharmacist is an important part of your healthcare so it's a good idea to know the ins-and-outs of your medical issues.
Besides, she's a soft spoken lady who I couldn't imagine holding any ire toward anyone.

I'm assuming that there are much, much better BP medicines than spiro so it'd at least raise some questions.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Pharmacists are supposed to ask. They are a medical preventative tool and help protect consumers from mixing the wrong drugs...that's all that's going on

A pharmacist should know every drug you take, even over the counter. (so should your doctor of course, but we all take OTC things without consulting doctors).... At my CVS, they ask if I have any questions every single time I pick up

[gonegirl]

A few months back while picking up my prescriptions I was told that the pharmacist wanted to talk to me before handing over my meds. I waited at the counter suspecting what was up. The Pharmacist eventually came over, looked me in the eye very seriously, and asked me if I knew what I was taking and what the effects are. I looked him squarely back and said yes I fully know what I'm taking and I'm taking it specifically for those effects. He handed me the bag and that was it.

I mentioned what had happened to my Endo a couple of weeks later and he just rolled his eyes. It just comes with the territory.

[Janice Ashton]

When I am out and about say at the pharmasist (like that mentioned above) or doctors I have thoughts about what others think about me, my inner thoughts say 'what's it got to do with them?' It's 'My Life'!!

My problem is I have trouble living true to that thought because like most of us in transition we often think far too much about what other people think!!
Being the real person I want to be is a difficult journey but the sooner I can stop thinking about what others think of me, I am of the belief I can move forward and be happier with my life.

So is there a secret to coping with this, or is it just a case of being thick skinned and let other peoples thoughts and comments just go over your head

How do others in Transition think?

[Wildaboutheels]

One of the segments on NGC's BRAIN GAMES back in 13' CLEARLY illustrated just what most folks will notice. While out in the RW. They actually had CDers in that segment. And quite predictably, the men that were fooled were embarassed.

ANY CDer with fear of CDing out in the RW should watch it. Or anyone just wanting to witness week after week, all the trickery our brains will perform [with our sensory input] because "it" often knows best. The entire first year has been out on DVD for some time and I believe the third season has just begun so perhaps the second season is also available. I believe only teasers are available ONline but not sure.

[StephanieC]

I get my meds from Walgreens via the drive-in. (Sometimes I'm in the far lane.) And when I pick up my prescriptions, always seem to know my name. Now they have a lot of people pick up prescriptions, there is no date on these puppies, and I come only monthly...how do they remember my name?

-stephani

[lingerieLiz]

People do notice, but not always. Some, who do, don't care and others don't know what to think. Since I wear mostly women's stuff, I am actually surprised at how little people pay attention. I was looking at bras the other day and only one woman seemed to pay attention to what I was doing. The rest were too intent in finding their size.

I think that it is becoming more accepted by the general public.

[Cheyenne Skye]

Speaking of the pharmacist, I had to pick up a script today. I have been getting them at my grocery store's pharmacy for about a year now. They have seen me dressed all manor of ways and they are usually nice enough to just refer to me by my last name. All the pharmacists and techs there know me since I generally have to get at least one refill a week. But last week and today, they both (pharmacist last week and tech today) called out "Hi Mr. B, how are you?" as I approached the counter. They know what I'm taking and I would think at least the pharmacist might have an idea what they are for. I suppose I should take one of them aside next time and explain that they should be instead call me "Ms. B" instead.

[sandra-leigh]

I wish my pharmacist would notice, instead of calling things like, "I'll be there in a moment, Mr. ________".

I'm pretty sure one of the previous techs was genderqueer, but I never asked.

[PretzelGirl]

Stephanie, it is common for customer service people to remember things. Bartenders remember drinks, wait staff remember favorite orders, and Pharmacist Technicians will remember your name. When I stop by, they say hi, poke at a computer, and grab a bag all without me saying a word.

[Jorja]

Well, some of us might have dated the Pharmacist and got to know all the Technicians. ;)

[Rogina B]

Speaking of the pharmacist, I had to pick up a script today. They know what I'm taking and I would think at least the pharmacist might have an idea what they are for. I suppose I should take one of them aside next time and explain that they should be instead call me "Ms. B" instead.
I solved a similar problem at BOA this morning. The new manager was struggling to call me Roger,based on my appearance. To nicely correct that,I told her that my name will be Rogina when I legally change it...She was happy to know and use Rogina in the discussion that followed.I am quite sure that she passed my preferred name around,but the tellers have been using Ms since the beginning..

[Vanessa Rose]

My thought for you is maybe it goes like "I wonder who else thinks something but absolutely does not care or feel the need to raise their thoughts." Maybe people just like you and feel for you and want you to feel comfortable. I'd take that any day.

Vanny....

[Aprilrain]

Since I wear mostly women's stuff, I am actually surprised at how little people pay attention. I was looking at bras the other day and only one woman seemed to pay attention to what I was doing. The rest were too intent in finding their size.

Before X-mass I went shopping for a nightie, I was the only woman in the intimates department at Macy's, You think I didn't notice a bunch of guys looking at women's underthings? What is it that you expect those women to do? retrieve their pitch forks and torches from their purses? I clearly noticed the 5 men who were "looking for something for their wife or GF." I just laughed to myself and thought "they'll all be posting on CD.com tonight about how they went shopping for women's clothes under the guise of it being a gift for their partner and the sun didn't explode!:heehee:"

I think its fine for the Pharmacist or pharmacist assistant to ask you if you have any questions regarding your medication or if you would like a consult but to pull you aside and ask why you're taking a certain med is just weird in my opinion.

[donnalee]

I get my meds from Walgreens via the drive-in. (Sometimes I'm in the far lane.) And when I pick up my prescriptions, always seem to know my name. Now they have a lot of people pick up prescriptions, there is no date on these puppies, and I come only monthly...how do they remember my name?

-stephaniBecause your name is written on the prescription and it's bottle' as well as the information sheets that come with them?

[LeaP]

... I was the only woman in the intimates department at Macy's, You think I didn't notice a bunch of guys looking at women's underthings? ... I clearly noticed the 5 men who were "looking for something for their wife or GF." I just laughed to myself and thought "they'll all be posting on CD.com tonight about how they went shopping for women's clothes under the guise of it being a gift for their partner and the sun didn't explode! ...

April, you just spiked the anxiety of every CDer on the site!

Of course they know! They're thinking about you!!! :devil:

[gonegirl]

LOL. Indeed, dudes in the lingerie department stick out like sore thumbs....

[whowhatwhen]

That's why I don't go there.
It'd just look weird with me standing there puzzled thinking "yeah, not pulling that off ever", "step 1: get boyfriend", or "where's all the lime green?"

[TrishaMarie]

I wear female jeans all the time. To work and to the store, shop for women clothes and at 6'3", I don't blend in. But I do the shopping for my wife thing, it is amazing how few people notice my shaved legs or just don't acknowledge it.

[BOBBI G.]

Rogina,

Your preferred name has more than likely been entered in your file. I came out to my "world" about a year ago and after a small conversation with one of my medical staff, I am now Bobbi. Of course, I am their only openly Transgender girl.

Bobbi

[chrissyjessicadewet]

Hmm, interesting conversation. I had a 1 hour convo with a zulu friend today that commented about me being different. I explained trans and gay to him. After a lot of questions he felt more secure in calling me chrissy. (i find a lot of zulus call me this anyway.)
As for people noticing. I guess girls will notice more than boys. I wear a padded bra now under my work clothes (work clothes are asexual.) and the ops have stared at my breasts a few times by now. Everyone in my life that matters knows, so that is a great step forward. I have started changing my nails as well and yesterday, this male customer grabs my hand . Gently and smiles at the drawings. I explained transgender to him and he smiled for the twenty mins that he was around my work environment.
Mainly, let them wonder. Most will ask if they are curious, but just smile, give them a wink and move on. If its family. try to pretend that You dont see them noticing.
Hugs and love.
Chrissy.

[TessInJxn]

I've found my friends are kind of in the same boat. Eyebrows, pierced ears, smooth shaven, painted nails (clear). They noticed, but they didn't really say anything.

But I share the concern of not knowing what someone may or may not be thinking. It isn't that I necessarily care, but in the interests of being safe. I genetic man presenting as a female isn't always welcome 'round these parts. You know?

[Nicole Erin]

So what if people notice? So what if they think something? Oh no, people might be THINKING something!
Who gives a rat's ass?

Look, the TS who catch a lot of hell are the ones who act like asses. If you act like a normal human, you will be treated as such. Yeah they probably know "tranny" but ain;t gonna care.

Case in point - I act like a normal human (believe it or not) and I get treated like anyone else. I have a TS friend though who "passes" on the same level as I do yet catches hell at work, from neighbors etc. Thing is she makes an ass of herself. doesn't help she is stoned 24/7 and often drunk.

"Oh people notice but are too polite to say anything". Statements like that just sound like some TS are WANTING negative attention.