"This is NOT a HOBBY to me"

[Wildaboutheels]

IF you are someone in this camp, you are likely to agree with the below quote??? [pulled from the bottom of paragraph one in the link that Zylia provided [in another thread] to someone who says he "quit CDing". Unsure how to repost that link.

"This issue surely has caused most of us great pain, anguish, and frustration in our private, public, and spiritual lives."

IF you don't have any trouble whatsoever with the word Hobby, you likely consider the statement mostly or completely false?

If someone cares to repost the link, it MIGHT be helpful for those who would like to quit? Or at least provide food for thought?

[Stephanie Julianna]

I agree, even though I have used that word once in awhile. It's as much of a hobby as my being of Polish and Irish decent. I have had hobbies that have come and gone due to a decline in interest or that I collected all that I wanted, etc. My dressing is a part of who I am. Hobbies don not always define you even though in my case most people would say, "Oh, The car guy." If they only knew all of me.

[PaulaQ]

Yeah, this isn't a hobby to me. It's simply who I am - I'm a woman. I used to have hobbies - now I just have transition. I have no time for hobbies anymore. This forum is the closest thing I have to a hobby at this point. :)

[carhill2mn]

CDing is not a "hobby" for me either. I have quit many hobbies (bowling, golf, for example) without any real issues. Sure, I miss being able to do them and also many of the people. But, I am not compeled to do them at what may be a great costs as I have been with CDing.

[Daphne Renee]

Completely agree.. its not a hobby. its just part of who I am.

[Ressie]

I was hoping that it's your occupation since it's not a hobby. If we could only make a living being crossdressers… For me it's an addiction I think. There would be withdrawl symptons if I went cold turkey.

[Zylia]

Just because it didn't start as a hobby doesn't mean I can't treat it as a hobby. What's a hobby anyway if not something you simply enjoy doing?

[Wildaboutheels]

Ummmmmmmmmmm... sorry ladies. The actual Question would not fit in the Q box... so I put it below the box. What IS in the box is the crux of the matter though, IMO.

[BeckyAnderson]

I find the word "hobby" to be degrading as far as expressing my feminine side. Hobby infers that one would be able to quit at any time. I've tried for the whole first half of my life to quit (and I'm 66 years old)...ain't happening!!!! Those who use the word hobby, quite probably, have not been able to fully come to terms with who they are and feel using that word will allow them (in their own minds) to fluff off their feminine side. Guys like to think they have everything under control at all times. Sorry....but your feminine side is controlling you, not the other way around. It's as much a part of you as your arms and legs!! I'm sure my views will attract some ire but, oh well, deal with it and your feminine side. :heehee: Hugs, Becky

[Roli F]

THis is the one "Hobby" that I can never give up I have had many hobbys that have come and gone but CD has been with me since about age 14, I am now 53
been out and bought another gorgeous sparkly jumper and a small white handbag see !

[Melissa in SE Tn]

It certainly is NOT a hobby. It is a curse that I simultaneously love & loathe.

[dana digs sweaters]

Hobby? Most definitely not.
Dressing up in girl's clothes was just for a fun goof with my sisters.
I knew at 7 that dressing up completely for a Halloween "costume" was not just a game anymore.
I made the effort to enjoy more of it.
A hobby is an interest to share with family, friends, neighbors & coworkers etc ......................
My crossdressing is not something that I loathe.
I enjoy, therefore I dress.
It will always be a part of me, even if situations curtail my opportunities.

[Ilsa]

Crossdressing for me is just another dimension of my persona and I could try to describe in a few words how it makes me feel, but I can't do that because there are just so many emotions that I feel when I'm dressed and it is hard to explain. If I had to state why I do it the simplest and most direct answer would be – Because I like it! I'm sure there are many on this board who have different reasons or answers for why they do it, whether it be a hobby or an obsession and I know each has a different way of expressing themselves, but we also have different interpretations of what the other person says or does. That's why boards like this are welcome. It gives myself and others like me, or for that matter not like me, the chance to express how they really feel and deal with the practice of Crossdressing. What I can definitely say is that I love this board and the people on it who share the same desires.

[franlee]

I must admitt it is more than a Hobby. And with that said the term has been used many times and will be right on and on. I is in fact very close to a hobby in several ways and I will not even start the comparisons because each of us that read this can do their own word associations. But this is again one of those terms that are just a simple means to convey an action with out going into depth but still giving shbstance for the most part of a group to relate to. I again don't have any problem with the term because I do understand who I am and what the user is trying to convay without any extra thought. By the way the really big simularity between my hobbies and my CDing is MONEY, I spend to much on any thing I get heavily involved in. That's enough for me to understand when others use the term.

[lovetobedani]

This is who and what I am. A hobby no, Danielle is just as much a part of me and my life if not more as is my male side.

[Brandy9]

Getting ready to leave for a few days to a weekend getaway, as my SO and I have done many times. She hears me getting some things from my Brandy room to take with me and accuses that I am obsessed with this. I guess I am. Although I've tried many times to tell her that this is a side of me that I've had for as long as I can remember and I don't imagine will ever go away. She doesn't get it

[suchacutie]

I always saw the use of the word hobby as an inside joke among us, said with a wink. We all know what we do is not a hobby.

[Anna H]

I always saw the use of the word hobby as an inside joke among us, said with a wink. We all know what we do is not a hobby.

I'd agree with this. But, if I *had* to try to explain myself to someone...
depending on who/what/where/why....I might very well use the "hobby"
excuse if I thought it were to my benefit.

Basically meaning, to put a quick end to any explanation that someone
wasn't likely to comprehend to begin with....or make them more accepting
or comfortable with it in some way.

I haven't ever had to do that, but I've run a zillion scenarios over in my mind
for as long as I've been this way...(since I was little)

[Ellie52]

Suchacutie - I totally disagree. A hobby to me is something I do that I get enjoyment out of, but doesn't consume me 24/7 (Or should that be costume me 24/7).

One of my hobbies is making furniture, and I can go into my workshop and spend 2 or 3 hours framing up a chest of drawers then put everything away back on the rack and tidy up. This is exactly how I live with Ellie. My wife might say one Saturday night - I want to watch Seinfeld so do you want to ask Ellie over? And I might say "yeah great idea, so Ill go upstairs and get changed and sit with my wife for an hour or two and have a glass of wine. Then Ill say something like "Ellie's tired now shes going to take a shower" and Ill go up and get a shower and change then maybe come back for another glass of wine.

This is my HOBBY it is not a desire to be a woman. I have no urge to live my life as a woman unlike some on this forum.

It is not a lifestyle as such, or if it is its one where I am male 95% of the time and occasionally like to wear a dress. It is not a consuming passion.

If I planned to be Ellie one night and then Samantha and Steve phone up and say do we want to go over to theirs for drinks I don't get all sulky and say "I don't want to go because I want to be Ellie" we just go and have a good time. Ellie sits in the background till next time.

If I could get away with wearing a skirt all the time I would, that would be all I require to satisfy my xdressing needs. In fact lately I have taken to wearing a silk sarong my wife made me and I wear that a lot around the house even with my son and his friends over and I don't get bored. It is just the whole transformation thing that gets boring.

So everyone is different and each to their own but (Beckyanderson) please don't say that HOBBY is a degrading word as that's all it is 'a label' a word to describe something you enjoy doing....Ellie

[AnnaBMarie]

When I first disclosed to my SO many years ago that I would like to crossdress, I did tell her that I thought of it as a hobby. I think this was a way of diffusing the potential emotional impact to her and maybe subconsciously to me as well. It seemed to be something that I could do once in a while, enjoy it, and then go on with my regular life. Later when I wanted to become Anna more often, it created some real problems between us.

Characterizing it as a hobby may be accurate for some of us, but few hobbies have the personal and societal weight that crossdressing brings. I had to give up golf a few years ago and it didn't bother me. To give up Anna would be psychologically devastating.

[Anna H]

My wife thought of it as a hobby at first. But in time realized
it's an actual part of someone's being. It's not a thing that I've
ever been able to rid myself of. i.e....get bored with and move
on to another "hobby". Which I have with all other hobbies I've had.

I don't have a "character mode" or want/try to be a female...it's
not going to work with me, but I do have this unexplainable side
of myself that's always been here, and at this point in time, is clear
it always will be.

I do have a sense of humor about most things, so I hope that
also comes across in my posting here. I like to have fun with it.
(...CD'ing is a Good Thing!)

:)
Kate

[flatlander_48]

I think the statement, as presented, may be true regardless of how you view crossdressing. The problem is that we all live in the real world alongside many other people. In most cases, the concept of crossdressing does not fit very well in that real world and it is often the source of great frustration and anguish.

By my definition, a hobby is an acquired taste. You try something, or you see someone else do it, and it becomes something in which you are interested. However, crossdressing isn't something that is acquired. It is there all the time, waiting to be discovered.

[Karren H]

Personally I treat everything in life as a hobby.... hobbies are enjoyable..... hobbies are interesting.... hobbies are fun..... ya don't see me YELLING when you want to CALL it what ever the hell you want to call it? lol

[CynthiaD]

No, crossdressing is not a hobby. Collecting stamps is a hobby. Crossdressing is something else entirely. Unless, of course, the only time you crossdress is when you're working on your stamp collection ...

[Marcelle]

I agree in principle it is not a hobby as it is something I need to do. However, I do (as I am sure most here also do) enjoy it. So it is easy to see why people might refer to it as a hobby. The definition of hobby is "an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure" So when someone calls what I do a hobby I don't begrudge them that if it is sincere after all, it is something I do regularly for pleasure. Sure I can't just turn it off like golf, scuba or stamps but unless the person is being sarcastic, I just smile and say "and what a wonderful hobby it is"

Hugs

Isha

[heatherdress]

Hobbies are acceptable ways to spend time. There are hobby shops that dads take their kids to buy planes and cars and trains. No one thinks it is weird to take classes for wood working or painting hobbies. People are advised by their friends and doctors to find a hobby when they take work too seriously. Maybe it's too bad crossdressing isn't a hobby.

[Lucy_Bella]

Habit...That's more fitting "for my hobby"... Smoking is a habit...Drinking is a habit... Take away the tobacco and alcohol from my habit and I go through withdrawals ,if I have tobacco or Alcohol near me or easy to reach I will continue my habit.. If these things start to control my life I would be a tobacco or alcoholic.

The same is with my cding , if I do not have the clothing or easy access to them ..I go through withdrawals.If I lived in an era before clothing was defined as male or female in a sexual way ,I would not have a problem because I do not have any other gender issues..

So ,I guess for a while there I was a crossdresserolic.. It was controlling and consuming my life and if I try to go without dressing I would go through withdrawals .. Like any "olic" this habit will remain for the rest of my life and if I ever stop I will continue to crave it..

This is not saying everyone is this way ..I am saying it is this way for me..

[GretchenJ]

Don't mean to be controversial, but I think both views are correct

I believe that cross dressing is not a hobby, is something that we are all born with and is something that is both a joy and a curse.

Once I had embraced that, and it took a llooooooonnngggg time for me to embrace it, my quest to present as Gretchen as the best that I can possibly be is definitely a challenge, which is look at as a hobby. I have tons of research on subjects ranging from psychology , fashion, wigs, forms, makeup, color palates, etc. I have spent money on this. I have bought stuff, then bought upgraded stuff once I have learnt better.

..it's sound like any other hobby, and like what Karren said, hobbies are what you do to enjoy and relax, so it's spot on.

Just my :2c:

[Wildaboutheels]

So ONE person [so far] thinks the quoted statement [in all those words I put below the Q box] is accurate? Or applies to them.

The guy who said them wants to offer a "cure" to people.

MANY folks here do say they would like to be cured if it was possible.

As far as the word Hobby??? VVVV [Per dictionary.com]

hob·by1 [hob-ee] Show IPA
noun, plural hob·bies.
1.
an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving.
2.
a child's hobbyhorse.
3.
Archaic. a small horse.

[Sallee]

I kind of like to refer to it has a hobby Although it may be a bit more than a hobby Although sometimes you can get some need parts at a hobby store. It certainly is a compulsion but I think there are levels of this compulsion/hobby. If a hobby is described as a leisure time enjoyable pastime then cross dressing is a hobby. But so is eating and like it is something that has to be kept in control and moderation.
I do often refer to it has a hobby it is just one that I don't let everyone know about it.

[MissTee]

I do not want to be a woman full time or begin a transition, so in some camps that makes me a hobbiest. I am compelled to do this by gosh knows what, and I can not turn it off like a hobby. More to the point, once I accepted myself I found I rather enjoy dressing -- not full time though. It's OK and so am I.

[Cdfun]

I have lots of hobbies, this is more than that .It's something that doesn't go away and has been there before puberty and the anticipation hightens each experience.

[JenniferLynn0370]

It's certainly not a hobby for me; it IS me. I am a woman inside and desperately wish the outside matched, but that's another story for another post. It obviously varies for each individual. I personally never want to be "cured", unless that means I end up as a woman, 24/7. I simply love my femininity and will never give that up!

[Princess Chantal]

As far as the word Hobby??? VVVV [Per dictionary.com]

hob·by1 [hob-ee] Show IPA
noun, plural hob·bies.
1.
an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving.
2.
a child's hobbyhorse.
3.
Archaic. a small horse.

Hmmm an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation.... Gosh darn that definition just doesn't suit many people's crossdressing, however it describes my crossdressing to a T.
Could you find any other words in the dictionary that may be defined in a similiar way?

[Lucy_Bella]

Habits..

Habits form in three parts: there is the cue, the behavior, and the reward. The cue would be the thing that causes your habit to come about; the trigger to your habit. This could be anything that your mind associates with that habit and you will automatically let a habit come to the surface. The behavior is the actual habit that you are exhibiting and the reward is your brain liking it therefor continuing the “habit loop.” [14] A habit may initially be triggered by a goal, but over time that goal becomes less necessary and the habit becomes more innate.

[Ellie52]

Playing guitar to me is a hobby. But I could go 3 months without playing one but I still love playing guitar. When Im in the mood Ill pick it up and play it. When its not there I dont think too much about it.Could I give it up forever - I dont think so. Some tune would come on the radio and I juust have to pick it up again. Its not a lifestyle its just a hobby but its something buried deep inside me. Sound familiar????Ellie
PS addiction is a much better description.....

[Chickhe]

I actually think hobby is good way to describe the activity to people who don't understand it. The difference is, magnitude and emotional attachment. When you are trying to fight something or it is a huge part of your life then its hard to describe it as a hobby to yourself because it is so much more.

[Patty-Fay]

I'm fine with saying that my crossdressing is a hobby. The activity of dressing up to present myself as a female, is (or can be considered) a hobby. I perform this activity because of who I am (what I AM is not a hobby - it's part of my identity).

I have gone two stretches of 7-8 years where I never engaged in this "hobby," but I was still the same person - with the same desires, even if I couldn't express them at the time.

[Talisker]

That dictionary description of hobby fits me. Would have thought it fitted most others unless they do it as main occupation e.g.drag queens.

Some people take hobbys more seriously than others.......

[Samantha_Smile]

While I personally don't consider my CDing the activities of a hobbyist, I can see how the similarity is drawn.

Whether it's cars, guitars, fishing, computer hardware or cross dressing, there are common traits.

I think you can call it a hobby when you take enjoyment in an activity and therefore choose to spend time and money on it.
When you accumulate fairly specialist knowledge just for the pure enjoyment or fascination.
When you take any and every opportunity to participate in said hobby.
When going without the activity would cause you distress or upset.

That seems pretty fair to me.

[AllieSF]

Who really cares what one calls it and why ask the question? Hobby works for me, but then I can dress when I want, if I want. Since I go out a lot, I definitely do not get depressed or get withdrawal symptoms if I cannot dress at any particular moment because I know that a moment will come sooner rather than later. Your statement can be true for some who consider it a hobby and not true for others who consider it a hobby. I am old, mature with a lot of life experiences both good and bad. So, I do not worry about the small stuff and have learned how to successfully deal with the big stuff.

So Wild, what point are your trying to make this time? A curious mind wants to know.

[natcrys]

For the outside world, it might look as if it's one of my hobbies. But unlike karate, snowboarding, making music, playing games, etc.. the urge to crossdress came very early. Expressing my feminine side is deeply ingrained and just part of who I am.

Now, I don't get into arguments with my friends when they call it a hobby, because that's just a light and easy way of bringing up the topic in conversations. And they know that for me it's sooo much more than a hobby. If for some reason I could not go snowboarding for the rest of life, it would bum me out.. but that's about it.

If I knew I could not crossdress for the rest of my life,....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, Call it what ever you want but it's just who I am and it's just what I do.

[5150 Girl]

My ex would use the "hobby" as a dismissive term, and a means of down playing it. "your little hobby"
Yea, it's not a hobby, it's who I am!

[Vanessa5]

I used to race remote control cars. I view that as a hobby. It became sooo not fun I wasn't compelled to continue. Crossdressing on the other hand seems to always balance my being. I have said in the past that it was a hobby but now maybe not so much as it seems to be a big part of my person as a whole.


The pretty dresses are just icingon the cake!

[sweetshauna]

I can see how this may be a hobby for some, but it's no hobby for me. This is a part of me and a way of life.

[Beverley Sims]

Mmmm!
Too many serious thinkers here.
How can you enjoy yourselves if you are taking life seriously?
It may not be a hobby, but it is....
"One hell of a past time". :)

[Kate Simmons]

I had a hobby once but ran out of patience and glue. Now I just dress up and have fun. Simple really. :heehee::battingeyelashes::)

[MissJoanne]

The therapist I see occasionally referred to it as a hobby, but in the sense of it being an escape from everyday life, rather than something we choose like woodwork or fishing. We have a predisposition to this: nobody really knows why. Like she told me: I'm not "sick", therefore I can't be "cured".

[chris80]

Buying dresses is a hobby. Wearing them is a lifestyle

[shawnablack77]

I don't see it as a hobby. Its who I really am. I'm happier, I feel better about myself, and everything right down to the clothing feels right to me. I may have had these feelings growing up, but in my family it was something not meant to be discussed. I did once and it brought shame upon me. Only to be told, no your a guy so deal with it. Now I'm 25, have a wife, and my own place. I can be more of who I really am, its still hard on my wife but at least I can dress and be happy 50% of the time. which that number might go up when she gets more used to it. So I'm finally happy with myself like this.

[Princess Chantal]

Buying dresses is a hobby. Wearing them is a lifestyle
Hmmm, so buying eggs (or any other ingredients) is the hobby and baking or cooking with them is a lifestyle? Why is it that I see people list cooking or baking as a hobby or an interest, but buying the ingredients is not on anyone's list?

[Jaylah414]

I can see the comparisons and confusion when looking at the actual definition of the word hobby, but this is something more. My hobby is photography. But, cross dressing and the feelings that I experience are more personal.

In photography, I analytically seek out a subject. I study the light and composition. I use my experience and knowledge of the subject to set the camera in just the right way to acquire the results I'm looking for. When the shot turns out to be what I want, or even better, I'm elated. When I fail, it drives me even harder.

Cross dressing can be similar in many ways, but it is not analytical. We may be analytical about the way we dress or apply makeup. That would be the side that may get confused with a hobby, but that's not necessarily what makes us feel warm, passionate and comfortable about affecting the opposite gender. It's something deeper, more mysterious and more heartfelt that is with us all of the time. I think it's the same thing that may separate many of us from fetish dressers. It's an inherent part of our emotional and psychological make up.

Our hobbies are certainly associated with who we are. But, they do not define us. They are not who we are.