Did Women Cause Us To Start Crossdressing?

[deebra]

The question is "Did growing up with, being around or sexually desiring beautiful, sexy women" cause you to be drawn to and start crossdressing? For example if you were the youngest of four and your three older sisters were very pretty and well built with colorful sexy lingerie laying around all the time would this cause you to be drawn to being like them and had to try on their undies to see what it felt like and it was transforming you to be like them? Another example, Bruce Jenner was featured on the T.V. program E, for twenty years he was around four sexy women getting ALL the attention, E pointed out his finger nails, long hair, plastic surgery, etc. all suggesting he is changing his physical to be female. A navy seal recently transitioned. We all know women get a lot more attention and compliments than men. Men's clothes are drab and rough and do very little to make a man desirable, on the other hand a woman's presentation and clothing, appearance is just the opposite. If a male is around this female environment or really loves and desires beautiful women wouldn't this make him curious enough to try dressing to emulate one? Also, do you every wonder how women's thinking can be so different, some are o.k. with men cding, some wives enjoy it and encourage it and other freek out and it's boxers or the highway. Do you have the answer?

[Katehall]

I think you are on to something here... I've thought this myself during my stages of "why me". I thought of many reasons but came to the general idea that I must have gotten these ideas from the commercials on TV. The same commercials that give girls horrible self-images. I grew up with a single mom who was also not afraid to walk around the house in a bra and stockings getting ready for her date. I always saw this as normal then, but now I look back and realize I got my sexual identity from those experiences as she felt, looked, and was accepted by the opposite sex as attractive. So, at a young age I must have put these images to play and when I tried on my first pair it was all over. Women have it made, but also get the brunt of it. I love being both! LOL!!!

[Krististeph]

There is a lot of evidence it seems. But then there is the physical evidence that the tendency towards crossdressing and transgenderism is linked to developmental differences in certain parts of the brain, the stria terminalis, & possibly hippocampus and amygdala as well, generally accepted for the time being as an effect of atypical androgen exposure in fetal development.

Yes, i like the attention girls get, but the more I looked into it, and dressing as a girl, i realized there is also unwanted attention. Hasn't changed me a bit- so i think the external influences are a minor aspect only. I think intelligence or creativity, or the willingness to accept that you do not need to follow the crowd, is also a minor influence, but this is unscientific of me.
Kristi

[Karren H]

I was the oldest.... and started dressing when I was 7.... when my sister was born.... I'm sure women were the root of this.... just because they exist! lol. Probably not the best excursion to tell your wife? "It's your fault I'm like this!"

[Katey888]

Sorry to kick off with a negative, Deebra, but nope for me! :cry:

No sisters, no close female relatives, no friendly girls and no girlfriend until I was 18.

And do I wonder how SOs are so different? No more than I would expect everyone's nature and background to influence their world view in different ways, and this subject is so very taboo in some communities it's no real surprise there are differences. Relationships vary hugely as well: what makes a successful one or a disastrous one can be poles apart.

I'll be brave and suggest no one has the answer here... it's a fallacy to think we'll get to any universal truth here - the more I wrangle with it the more I think those that say "go with the flow" have the only 'answer'.. :D

Katey x

[suzy1]

I grew up with three brothers and no sisters and was crossdressing by the age of four.
So to answer your question……no.

[Wildaboutheels]

The answer is simple and denying it won't change it. The vast majority of men CD because women's clothing items allow them ONE easy way to the promised land, THE most addictive thing on the planet. Almost all at least "pass through"that phase and it's well documented here and quite obvious for anyone that bothers to READ replies. Many of the Forum Dinos here have moved on from that phase for the most part. Many become full or "fuller dressers" and many still get "high" from wearing any female items. Or brains are extremely good at "associating" and remembering "pleasure" and just as good or better at remembering pain. Pavlov... may have been a CDer?

Women [in general] DO have an undeniable "power" over most men, so wishing to have some of that power undoubtedly figures into the CDing equation for some.

Even a 5 year old girl knows that the more attractive any female, the more "power" she will have. [a wider choice of mates]

Having/getting this "power" is THE reason WHY women have so much more choice in clothing It's also the reason most will spend inordinate amounts of time on makeup, shapewear etc. Few men will BENEFIT from such efforts. Spend any time at all at any Dating Forum and this conclusion is inescapable. A man's APPEARANCE is seldom at the top of most women's priority list but almost always at the top of most men's lists. Evolution 101. It's NOT going to change anytime soon.

Very few females CD. The math for that is simple given how FEmale brains process visual information.

[suchacutie]

Not cause, facilitate. The lingerie was available. A couple of jokes between us, an OMG or two, and suddenly revelation that this wasn't just a couple of jokes. Tina was born.

[Secret Drawer]

Wildaboutheels, you just posted a thread about definitives!? Then you lead a response with "The answer is simple and denying it won't change it." OK, so if I deny what you say because it is not at all true about me (and many others here!), then I guess I am wrong according to you? NO. Not all of us use or ever used crossdressing as a form of sexual gratification. GET OVER IT! For some of us, crossdressing is just one (small) part of expressing who we are on the outside. It doesn't have to or even imply a sexual element... My wife loves wearing jeans but it doesn't necessarily make her horny doing it! Nor I, even after discovering the virtues of women's jeans.
To answer the OP; The idea of being sexually attractive is a power to be sure. So even if we didn't grow up in an environment seeing this power in action, we eventually discover its reality. The idea that we can (at least occasionally) obtain a bit of this attraction is empowering for us as well.
As far as why women are so different... well, when they give groups of men a series of women to look at and are asked to pick just one, most (in fact) pick the same one. Women are much more unpredictable even in a simple test such as this. I think I would be flattered to see a woman wearing the same skirt as me, but wow there can be fireworks when two GG's show up dressed the same! (Not so much into sharing that power maybe?)

[CONSUELO]

Older sisters dressed me when I was 5 years old. I have been a cross dresser ever since.

[Kate Simmons]

Not really for myself. It just felt natural to me.:)

[Vanessa5]

I am the oldest. Not that many femine role models in my family. Found some pantyhose in the garbage one day and things kinda took off from there.

[Dianne S]

Hmm, I don't know. I have two older sisters, so maybe. Apparently they dressed me up in doll's clothes when I was a baby (I was much too young to remember this... maybe 6 months old.) Also, after they moved out, I did find a bra one of my sisters had left behind and I took it.

[Jenniferathome]

No. I didn't know what sexy was at 7 years old. My older sisters were not objects in any way. Nor my mother. I think all of your examples are misplaced. The answer for cross dressing is genetic

[Alice Torn]

I definitely was inspired to dress like the beautiful girls and women i have been around in school, work, just ones i see in places. I have always been shy to try to befriend the ones i am greatly attracted to, and beffriended ones who were much less attractive outwardly. I try to dress up like the ones i have seen, that most attract me. Snug sleeveless sheath, and shift dresses, skirt suits, knee length skirts, snug tops, hose and heels. At singles dances, there were several that i cannot forget, and do try to look a lot like them, in how i dress up. Very few women crossdress, true. But, if they could go back in a time machine 80 years or so, in t shirt and jeans, and sneakers, they would be pointed out, and accused of it! Times have change some, a bit of good, and bad.

[Ressie]

I wouldn't use the word cause, but my older sister's clothes had an influence on my curiosity. Without sister's and mom's clothing around the house there wouldn't have been any femle attire to try on. For those that don't have older sisters, couldn't the influence be from your mother's clothing?

And yes, as a teen I envied the seductive power that females have. Post #7 may not define all CDs, but it fits me perfectly.

[Sister Rachel]

I first chose to put on "female" clothing three or four years before any of my (half-)sisters were born. It's an innate desire, I think.

Many years ago, I read a theory that m/f crossdressing was rooted in early-age separation from one's mother, and that seemed to have some credibility in my case, as my mum left my dad when I was very young and my dad fought for and won custody ( unusual in those days) so I was brought up by first my grandmother and then my stepmother. From my reading on this excellent forum, though, I'm pretty sure that most of us had pretty normal relationships with our mums?

So it's innate and hard-wired into us, I think, although if one did have older sisters in the household, it'd be their clothes one would be trying on first. (Before any of my stepmother's stuff fitted me, I would make towels, shirts and my pyjama jacket into makeshift skirts.At least now, 50 years on, I can buy my own gear!).

[Alice Torn]

Ressi, I was the youngest, and yes, i did get greatly interested in some of my mom's and sister' hose, and a dress, girdles, bras. It got me going, but, i did quit for a number of years, after , my parents tried to get me to go see a "shrink". I think they knew.

[Alice Torn]

Brenda. Oh yes, the towells, sheets, pretending they were skirts! Me, too, as late as 1996. I did not think it was possible to find high heels my size, so i even considered making cowboy boots into high heel pumps! There must be something genetic, as well as outside stimuli.

[Lorileah]

If that were true then most of us would be firemen or race car drivers or astronauts. If seeing something can make you something, I wanna be a millionaire

[Alice Torn]

Some people see firemen or cops, or sports stars, and immediately want to become one. Some see lovely women, and desire to catch that look.

[Stephanie47]

I was the second of two boys. My brother and I are fourteen months apart. Our sister was not born until I was almost twelve and by that time I had tried on my first nylon slip. I had four cousins who are all boys. I was rough and tumble. There were no girls in the apartment building I grew up in, so there was no influence from playmates. I still clearly remember my kintergarden teacher making a comment about by cowboy shirt. She said she liked my blouse. I was HIGHLY offended. What caused me to cross dress? I liked the feel of my mother's nylon slips. I was attracted by the nylon. Why did I graduate to panties, bra, slips, girdles, hosiery and dresses? I often wonder. If I speculate it may be because my mother said I was suppose to be a girl. There would have been mom and dad and older brother and younger sister. I remember crying as a four (?) year old that she did not love because I was not a girl. She consoled me and after that she never mentioned it. I always got into trouble for breaking the rules at home and school.

Why am I sitting at the key board right now in a midi length black with floral design dress, black bra, panty, slip, hosiery and heels???? I don't know and I really now longer care what got me here.

[suzy1]

I think all of your examples are misplaced. The answer for cross dressing is genetic


We have our answer. No need to spend anymore time on this then.:eek:

[Alice Torn]

Some of us are like old Joe Friday, we want just the facts!LOL

[Janet Doe]

I was maybe 4 or 5 the first time a wore one of my sisters dress`s ( She is 14 months older than I am ) At that age, it was neither sexual or stimulating, it just felt right.

[Crissy Kay]

I think its just the opposite in my case!!

[Karren H]

The answer is simple and denying it won't change it. The vast majority of men CD because women's clothing items allow them ONE easy way to the promised land, .

At the age of 7 I didn't know what the promised land was.... still really don't....

[Finally Happy]

All my brothers are much older so basically grew up single child. Mother was pretty distant. I don't know what prompted it, who ever does? I was 10-11ish and found a box of clothes in storage from previous tenant. Literally everything fit. So I guess no direct female involvement. But I've always felt that dressing "got me closer to women".

[Beverley Sims]

I do not think so, later as I grew up I was encouraged to dress because it was an impressive transformation as far as my girlfriends were concerned.

[Tina_gm]

The only thing that would or might be different if someone was surrounded by a lot of women, or encouraged to CD, was that they might know and accept themselves sooner. It is either going to happen or not, and it won't matter how much or how little a CDer is around women. Just the timing and personal acceptance may change.

[MissJoanne]

I'm an adopted only child, so no sisters. I think it's just "hard coded" into us somehow. And we can't change it.

[Teresa]

Krististeph,
I think you've hit on the answer, I'm beginning to think we are born with it and external influences affect us as we grow up.

[Rachael Leigh]

Without question we have all at some point asked why me? Ive asked this so many times and tried to explain it to my wife as well.
The only thing Ive ever pointed to was I had 1 sister older who at times seem to get more attention from my dad than me. My older athletic brother also got more than me it seemed. So I think in my brain I knew I was never going to be that athletic and since my sister got the attention I thought well if I was a girl or at least acted like one dad would give me attention.
I have no idea if that's it or not, Ive even been told my mom thought or hopped I would be a girl, probably to save money on clothes since I could wear my sisters hand me downs.
I wish I had the right answer but doubt I ever will so its taking me time but now Im just who I am and trying to make the best of it.

[Claire Cook]

Add me to the "no sisters" group, so for me, women had little to do with it. And I strongly believe .. at least in my case .. that there is a genetic component, possibly hormomal experiences in the womb. Like the old nature - nurture argument, our experiences add to the mix.

[sometimes_miss]

It was an influence, I'm sure; I idolized my older sister, and her life, it always seemed hers was so much better than my own (of course, she was pretty, I was pretty ugly). And, of course, a younger sibling wants to hang out with the older, so I always wanted to be with my sister and her friends, especially since I had none of my own. Being denied that, only made me want it more, since there were few boys anywhere near my age near where I lived. Also, mom dressed me in my sisters old clothes when I was real young as well, but at that point I didn't understand any differences in physical sex, and by the time I understood the differences between what males wore and females wore, it was over. Still, there was probably some influence from that as well.

[Cheryl T]

NO...I had no idea what a sexy woman was at the age of 6 or 7 so there was absolutely no influence there...

[carhill2mn]

None of the above mentiopned had anything to do with me starting to CD. I was about 8 years old living on a farm in the '40's. My mother dressed nicely bit not fancy. I just liked how I looked and felt when I tried on one of her silk blouses - it fit me like a dress! I enjoyed my boyhood but I also liked to "dress up"!

As to the "why" - if anyone know the answer they would become very rich!

[busker]

"Did growing up with, being around or sexually desiring beautiful, sexy women" cause you to be drawn to and start crossdressing?
You would have to verify world-wide to have any sort of truth in it, and because it is world-wide it is more than likely biological/genetic in its origin. There is simply so much that is unknown about the brain, genetics , etc that to suggest that we all got started looking at women and their lingerie. someday, people will be important enough to look into these matters, but you can rest assured that we now know the entire genome of the tomato and isn't that a joy?
There are some new discoveries about the x chromosome in women and its ability to get turned off --e.g. both x chromosomes are not functioning together. Since men get an x from the mother, if there are faulty parts to it, it may ultimately cause some of the gender issues that men have including children indicating that they are the "wrong" gender. If you are interested, read this article. It does open many things to questions The article has nothing to do with gender issues, but simply provides food for thought about our genetics.
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/21/science/seeing-x-chromosomes-in-a-new-light.html?hp

[DeeDeeB]

Current research tells us we are all a mix of male and female because of genetics and hormone balances. Some tend towards totally feminine, like the Miss Americas, and others towards the totally macho like fight club contestants. Most of us are somewhere near the middle, and many of us born male still tend towards female, as well as many born female tend towards male. Even the coveted '"y" chromosome has been proved to not be a guarantee of birth sex. My personal story (and I'm sticking to it) is that I was the 3rd son followed by a sister. That made me a transition child with a genetic mix that tended towards female. I knew it at age 5, but in 1950 that wasn't an option I was strong enough to express. I now embrace my feminine side and feel it quite normal for me.

DeeDee :fairy1:

PS: went to a talk by the Navy Seal that transformed - lovely lady and I give her a lot of credit

[kimdl93]

I think the whole notion that growing up around women is fanciful naive and patently absurd. Bruce Jenner was far from a child when he married into that family. If being around lovely women as an adult could do it, then one would have to wonder what's under Hugh Hefners pajamas....Chuck that one. I grew up In a household that was predominantly male. No correlation there.

As others have stated there are explanations of cross dressing that derive.from more than idle speculation and fantasy.

[ttacitus]

I grew up with 3 older sisters and have been drawn to wear women's clothing for about as long as I can remember. So it is of course very tempting for me to believe that growing up around all those girls and looking up to them and wanting to be included has led me to my crossdressing. But obviously that can't be the whole story, as there are so many counterexamples. And also, I always was keeping it a secret so it is not like I was getting any reinforcement for my behavior. Quite the contrary, I was mortified of anyone finding out.

[KimCal]

I've always thought that would be the perfect scenario, in my own selfish way. Make them think they've talked me into crossdressing, not knowing that I like it so much to begin with. So I 'reluctantly' agree.

The reason I thought this would be ideal, is that when the relationship has it's combative moments, they can't turn the crossdressing into ammunition to use against you. Because they initiated it.

Haven't yet met that woman yet though.

[Jenny Elwood]

How can one deny the influence of women? We are, after all, trying to emulate them.

[noeleena]

Hi,

No doughts here at all , i was dressed by my Mom and later age 11 -12 by two women in our church for a end of year do come breakup with over 80 people watching us go through our skit 5 of us,

there was no influence by them or any one,on the clothes i would wear later in life,

...noeleena...

[dominique]

I think they had some influence over us. No sisters here, but had lots of female rellies around me when growing up they didn't have much influence. I think we're born with it, and it doesn't manifest in some of us until we hit puberty. When we start noticing gg's either falling in love with them or just in awe of their dress sense that they have and wanting to be like them.

[leeann_360]

I don't have a sister, I am the youngest son, 5 years younger than my brother. I do know that many times my mother did say she wished I was born a girl, and I am sure that played into what happened later in my life. While I was young in the 60's my mother would take me into dressing rooms with her while she tried on different outfits while shopping. After seeing her in her lingerie many times, I searched out the Sears and JC Penney catalogs to dream of the beautiful underclothes the girls and women were wearing. When playing with friends, I had no problem playing "house" with them and I always played the mother / wife and wore the dresses and aprons.

I haven't grown to the point of wearing skirts, dresses or even a wig and make-up yet, but all my clothes are 100% female. I feel so natural and comfortable in my clothes it does make me wonder why I really want to dress this way. A few years ago, I gave up trying to figure out why I want this and just said why not and let my inner desires take over completely.

Yes, im sure the females in our lives had something to do with who we are, but a lot of it is whats inside us also and none of use will ever know what made us take that first step towards a life in heels...

[Sarasometimes]

I think for me it is nature and how my society views feminine behaviors. I believe that gender identity, gender expression and even though unrelated sexual attraction are on a continuum. During gestation we are exposed to a near infinite variety of hormones which ultimately decide our place on these continuums. I have both extremely strong masculine and feminine qualities and interests. My society embraces my masculine avenues of expression but doesn't do so for my feminine ones. My society tends to look down at feminine traits, particularly if a male expresses them.
Men when found wearing women's clothing it is crossdressing but not the same when women do it. That is where my society steps in.
If it were birth order, or number of sisters our numbers would be so much higher. I hope I didn't just steal a thread.

[Cheryl T]

No one "caused" this in my mind. I have always felt this way and always wanted to dress.
I am a firm believer that this is genetic.

[Diedre]

In my case yes. My mother did sewing and alterations. I was frequently used as the dress form for hemming skirts and dresses. I really started to enjoy it, so I guess I had the gene.

[Kristy 56]

I had 2 sisters so it made it easier,but I couldn't really say if I could blame woman. Maybe in the sense that I se them,and want to be them. Probably many,many opinions on this.:)

[Nadine Spirit]

Firm believer in genetics.

[Rachaelb64]

For me personally, I'll have to say - No.

Me 'brian' isa just wired differently :)

[Adriana Moretti]

i grew up in a family of all women...i was the only male...did it cause it ?? probably not....but it made it easier to get started thats for sure. I had access to everything at an early age

[ReineD]

Deebra, if your theory is true, then how do you explain the 95% male population who also grow up around mothers, sisters, cousins, schoolmates, etc, and who have no inclination to crossdress?

Also,


Men's clothes are drab and rough and do very little to make a man desirable, on the other hand a woman's presentation and clothing, appearance is just the opposite.

But men ARE desirable just as they are ... to women. Women aren't turned on by other women, no matter how desirable these other women are to men. Honestly, if a man truly wants to be sexually desirable to women, then he will try to look as masculine as he can.

[LenGray]

Nature vs. Nurture, huh?

Wellll...I know that this thread isn't particularly aimed at me because I'm on the other side of the fence, so to speak, but here's my thoughts on it.
Growing up, I didn't want to be 'pretty' or a 'homemaker', I wanted to protect people, live my life honorably, and be seen as a strong and capable person. I felt like I was banging my head against a wall, not just with men but women as well, because I didn't fit into the social construct that my gender put me into. I didn't like the attention I got as a woman and still don't. I've lost count of how many times people have looked at me oddly when I start talking about doing what's right and honorable, because in their experience, that's not how a 'girl' should talk.

There's probably a lot of factors that led to my transgenderism that range from my social status to what I truly feel inside. I feel as though the external and internal influences both shaped me into who I am, and that that person doesn't fit into society's expectations of 'woman'. Women and men didn't accept me as I was so I started cross dressing and it felt right for me. Now, I'm a transman and I feel better about myself because I'm not caught in a gender that can't be who I am.

An argument can probably be made that men's perceptions or women's perceptions made me like this, but I don't think that it matters all that much. What matters is that I'm living my life being me, whoever that is, and that I'm happier this way.

I think it can be summed up for me as, 'Who cares who the messenger is! Did you get the message?'

[PaulaQ]

To my mind, the primary problem with these types of ideas is the existence of FtM trans men.

Oh yeah - those guys.

[Jamie Christopher]

it did for me; 3 older sisters, in and out of bathrooms in lingerie with lingerie all over the place all the time....oye!

Jamie

[opaquetights09]

For me I am not sure why I started wearing my grandmothers dresses and pantyhose. I just did one day. I always loved the look on the girls in school growing up. I remember the feeling I had when the girls in class wore skirts and hose. There was one girl who wore sandals and tan hose a few times. Not sure how I made it through school. As for later in life, my second wife was quite the fashionista. I learned much from her and bought her quite the wardrobe. Would love to have some of those for myself. Leather skirts, coordinating skirts and tops, just an unbelievable wardrobe.

Melanie

[PaulaQ]

I'm willing to bet that there is a heterosexual crossdresser out there who grew up with two father's who directly disproves this thread...

This really isn't anyone else's fault, it just happened, nobody knows why.

[GeminaRenee]

Was it the chicken or the egg? Hard to say. I wasn't raised around a bunch of women. But at a very young age, I recall noticing the women in church - their nyloned legs, their high heels. I remember hiding in a closet and holding my mother's brown leather purse - for inexplicable reasons, it excited me. When I was three, the girlfriend of a cousin kissed me on the cheek with bright red day-glo lips. I could feel the lipstick on my cheek for hours, even after the lip prints were probably long gone. All of that happened at such a young age, and I was so powerfully drawn to all of it, that I have to believe there was something hard-wired into me that predisposed me to like what I like.

But that begs the question: since none of these things are innately feminine in any natural, biological sense, what is it that I was really drawn to? It's not like sexual orientation, where you are attracted to the male or female form, definite biological entities that are a part of the very fabric of life. I mean, if women in our society wore burlap sacks and feathered tri-pointed hats, would I have been so thrilled by them? There were other things that were fashionable when I was young that have never drawn me in, like tops with giant shoulder pads. And I'll never get all giddy at the sight of a floral-print blouse. Maybe what I'm really wired to like are certain textures, or colors, or visual cues.

The whole "male clothes are boring, rough, unappealing" argument seems silly to me, though. More like an excuse some CD's use to justify what we do. It's not as if there aren't women out there wearing awful, drab, rough looking clothes. And there are plenty of attractive, appealing male clothes out there. I should know: women compliment my clothing all the time. Obviously someone doesn't find it dull. But I also put care and consideration into my wardrobe in either mode. The hammer swings both ways on this one.

And no, I don't wonder at all why some women are ok with it while others aren't. Many women want men that they perceive as masculine, that exhibit those masculine cues. I think that's pretty normal for a straight woman. Also, there are people with closed-minds, and there are people with open minds. A lot of it is upbringing, or societal and religious influences. Sure, I'm sometimes disappointed that more women don't think it's grand, but it's completely unsurprising to me. After all, if there's one thing we of all people ought to know, it takes all types.

[devida]

I see from the answers to this question that you could prove or disprove anything you like. My mother was an award winning movie star. I was absolutely fascinated with her when I was a child, happy to watch her go through all the hours of make up and trying on clothes to get to look as glamorous as she could. Both my mother and my step father were concerned about my gender identity, although, since this was a long time ago they didn't phrase it that way. My stepfather worried that I was too weak and feminine. So when I was quite young they packed me off to boarding school which certainly had the effect of turning me into a hateful, arrogant, and cruel child. I had no idea until relatively recently that the root of most of my unhappiness was a gender mismatch. It wasn't that being around the spectacular example of feminine sexuality that my mother, as part of her job, portrayed, made me transgender. I was that way from birth. I adored my father, who was a high level diplomat. I loved his masculine habits. I loved the way he dressed, the way he wore his watch, the way he kept his nails, the way he moved, just as much as I adored my mother. But it wasn't my environment that caused my gender mismatch. In fact, most of my environmental influences regarding gender just confused me and made me unhappy. It took most of my life to sort this out. At heart I knew I wasn't a man but I also knew I was not a woman. It wasn't anyone's fault. I was just born neither really masculine nor feminine but something in between. Unfortunately it wasn't until recently that the social prohibition against being something other than your gender at birth started to lift, and it's still going to take a while before people like me, who really are non-binary, are accepted as just as valid as people who consider themselves either male or female. But it is happening, especially among the young. I am absolutely delighted by this!

[Allisa]

A mother and three older sisters, yes they would torture me by putting me in a dress or putting make-up on me. But at the time it was horrible and unwanted. But then one day I needed to try on all those clothes and make-up. They may have in some unconscious way contributed to it but have you ever seen the bathroom that four women share or their rooms for that matter? If anything I should have been put off with anything female.How I turned out to be the neat one is anybodys guess.

Bye-Bye Lisa

[melissalynn]

When I was nine or ten I threw a fit over being given the "girl"part in a Cub Scout play and ultimately was given another part. I started dressing a few years later because of curiosity and the proximity of items to wear. Looking back, maybe it was because I protested too much earlier. Then again, I was probably too young to know what I was missing.

[Diane Smith]

My mom always expected to have a girl, and was surprised and confused when she gave birth to a male child. (I am an only.) She had pretty girls' clothes and baby accessories all picked out, and then I arrived. I believe that the inclination to crossdress is innate, but curcumstances growing up can affect one's opportunities to actually practice it. In my case, seeing my mom and grandmother dressed up to go out to their frequent luncheons and evening club meetings certainly aroused my interest in ladies' fashions, shoes, jewelry and makeup. I was astonished at what radiant creatures they became when they put some effort into their appearance. My mom recognized that I was showing some interest in feminine things and (since she was all prepared to deal with a girl child anyway) helped me out by occasionally letting me wear lipstick and nail polish, getting my ears pierced, and buying my first pair of heels. When puberty came, I think she had a kind of "OMG, what have I done" moment, though, and all the interest and encouragement suddenly ceased. We didn't talk about it after that, although I'm pretty sure she knew I was still dressing. One part of me wishes I had been more open with her about it in those later years, while another says it really wouldn't have improved our (good) relationship in any meaningful way, so nothing was lost by letting it remain unspoken of.

- Diane

[sometimes_miss]

Do you have the answer?

Again, you're looking for the 'one, true reason' that people crossdress. And there isn't one. You've fallen into the mindset of medical people the world over, who search for a disease process with the one thing that causes it. When in this case, there are many. Until you can accept that, you will never be able to progress in your own search for why you do it, because there are many paths, not one, and if you try to pin it on one, you'll always find an exception to your solution.

[Jilly75]

My older sisters friend used to dress me up. I remember her getting me to wear my sisters holy communion dress and I insisted on knickers as well. I loved it and looked forward to her coming round. I was only 7 and was encouraging the dress up sessions so although she was the catalyst it must have been in me. It is a secret that has been with me for 40 years. Then I stumbled upon this site and now am making up for lost time.

Jilly

Jilly

[Confucius]

On a biological level you are a cross-dresser because your brain is hard-wired to release dopamine and other neurotransmitters when you feminize yourself. Your brain interprets cross-dressing as actual contact with a female and releases the neurotransmitters producing the sensations of well-being, sexual gratification etc.

On a psychological level you over-valued the female in your early childhood, and under-valued the masculine. You may have thought that parents preferred girls. Girls were smarter than boys, or girls were prettier. Girls had it better in life. Or, you may have thought that your mother would have loved you more if you were a girl. You under-valued the masculine by believing that males lacked virtues, or lacked compassion, or they were too rough, too dangerous, and just not as good people as females.

[Patty-Fay]

I fit the mold: I was two older sisters who got a lot of attention for their clothes. One of my earliest memories was about my jealousy of me sister's pretty red petticoat. My mom and sis gave in and let me wear it. I liked spinning around in it and letting it fly out, but I also loved the way the material felt against my body. I learned that panties felt just as good. While I put some stock in the theory that my sisters (and their pretty clothes) influenced me, this alone doesn't explain why I liked the feel so much.

[devida]

Confucius says: On a biological level you are a cross-dresser because your brain is hard-wired to release dopamine and other neurotransmitters when you feminize yourself. Your brain interprets cross-dressing as actual contact with a female and releases the neurotransmitters producing the sensations of well-being, sexual gratification etc.

Yup, no doubt. But we also get a little dopamine squirt when we check for email and discover that someone has emailed us, when we pull the lever on a slot machine, when we do practically anything that brings us pleasure or we think is going to bring us pleasure. Your statement is too broad. But thank you for letting me say Confucius says.

Confucius also says:

On a psychological level you over-valued the female in your early childhood, and under-valued the masculine. You may have thought that parents preferred girls. Girls were smarter than boys, or girls were prettier. Girls had it better in life. Or, you may have thought that your mother would have loved you more if you were a girl. You under-valued the masculine by believing that males lacked virtues, or lacked compassion, or they were too rough, too dangerous, and just not as good people as females.

But this thread has provided a number of instances of cders who did not have these kinds of experiences. I loved my mother, I adored my stepfather. I had no siblings. I went to all boys schools from the age of 11 onwards. I never undervalued the masculine and I was quite as dangerous as any other boy. I still wasn't properly gendered as masculine. Even though I consider myself more femme than macho I actually don't consider one gender superior to the other. Your statement, and of course the original question, assumes that there are only the binaries of male and female. There's more to gender than that. There are more genders than male and female. I would even suggest that cders who do not foresee or imagine themselves transitioning are actually another gender, neither male nor female, unless dressed in drab or femme and maybe not even then. But I don't know. What I would say is that we are whatever gender we choose to call ourselves whenever we choose to do that and that genders may be as unique as individuals. Also because of the assignment of gender at birth many of us just simply aren't what our social environment decreed us to be. We are much more complicated and interesting than this or that. We are this, that, and many, many others.

[Angela Dressing]

I can't relate to women on TV, but when I was in my early teens my mom would go through the house from the bathroom to her room I would see her in bra/slip and hose. i was curious as to how that material felt. once when no body was home I went into her room and into her drawers. I felt all that stuff and I like the feel. I started looking forward to being alone and actually started putting it on. WOW!! I was flooded with the thought of getting caught, and overwhelmed with the feelings that I have desired to this day.

[Kristina_nolagirl]

Yes .... I think God is a lady. And I do believe She is the one that wired my brain backwards, making me a CD. I'm so grateful to Her for making me the way I am! :)

I'm absolutely convinced that I was born a CD. Way to many memories of obsessing over girlie things in a very non-boys acting as girls family.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra, I have been dressing for as long as I can remember it's just who I am and it's just what I do.

[Aeslyn]

Absolutely and unquestioningly yes. Though I could be wrong, no way to know really.
I know that growing up most of the people I was around were females. There weren't many guys my age that I spent time around having only sisters till I was sixteen and being bullied by the guys in my town. So all my friends were girls. Male influence wasn't a big thing where I grew up either. There is the ideal of the male role model but until you are at least ten boys spend time with and looked after by only females. The men are around, yes, out fixing cars or playing with dangerous things that children shouldn't be around. So yes, I can see the influence that led me to it. But whether or not I would have went down a different path had things been different is something I don't and can't ever know - thank god!

[lovetobedani]

I do believe that women did influence me to dress but not in the way that I've ever been dressed by one. There's an old saying, "you can lead a hose to water but you can't make it drink". Just becuse there's women and thier beautiful clothing around does't mean that you have to try them on. For most it's not a temptation, for all who are like me it was irrestable. I have no reason or idea why it just is. With this said I agree that thre's something in our brain that drives us in this direction. We all want to emulate thoes who are the most successful, weathy, healthy, and attractive. In this case I want to be female or as feminine as possible. I also what the health and weath of others as well.

It is a confusing subject to say the least. I am who I am and I've accepted it. But, at the end of the day I think that it's more the way my brain was wired. Now on if my body matched my brain.

[CynthiaD]

I grew up in a family of all boys, so not much feminine influence. Yet one of my fondest desires, for as long as I can remember was to have a dress of my very own that I could wear whenever I wanted. Now I have lots of them. Yay!

[Christen]

I grew up with two older sisters before any boys entered the family, my Mum loved me, so did my Dad. Dad did have a work accident that crushed his knee, I think that stopped him playing with me as much as he'd have liked to. But I don't think any of that had an influence on my envy of girls and eventually, if you call eventually, 6 years old, crossdressing or desiring to be a girl. I'm firmly in the 'it's genetics' camp. Oh, yes, I wonder how women's thinking can be so different, but no more than I wonder about why all people think differently. It's not a gender thing, thinking.

Men's clothes are drab and rough and do very little to make a man desirable, on the other hand a woman's presentation and clothing, appearance is just the opposite. And sorry, I'm sending you a subscription to a men's magazine, Esquire, just for the fashion section. And I'm sure I'm not the only guy (oops, cat's out of the bag) who thought Daniel Craig in Casino Royale was smoking hot, in an appropriate way, of course.

Christen x

[Tinkerbell-GG]

But men ARE desirable just as they are ... to women. Women aren't turned on by other women, no matter how desirable these other women are to men. Honestly, if a man truly wants to be sexually desirable to women, then he will try to look as masculine as he can.

Reine, you probably just summed up the conundrum of CD with this comment! How often do we read here of men who feel 'drab' as a male, men's clothes are dull, they only feel attractive when dressed as a female, then inexplicably lamenting why no straight GG wants them like this. Of course they don't! Yet, still they seem perplexed, while we're perplexed they don't understand what everyone else understands without issue.

Perhaps this is the genetics everyone speaks of here? For there's obviously not going to be a gene for wearing skirts and make-up - that's absurd. But there might be a gene that messes up how a man presents himself. If the men here genuinely think they look better as women (even if they clearly don't) then this must be something their brain is telling them. Women had nothing to do with this, other than unwittingly providing half the genetics.

Either way, it's not our fault. I'm laying the blame firmly on the Y chromosome :)

[Bima]

As a baby, I often sat in my mother's lap, leaning my short back against her tummy, my short stubby legs pointing straight out, and what did I see.

As I looked down, I would have seen a black pencil skirt, tan pantyhose, high heels, and when the arms around me moved, they were clad in white satin sleeves, terminating in slender hands with red painted nails. Not that strange I started to cross-dress when this became the first view and image of myself. ;-)

Just kidding a bit, of course, but who knows if early on imprinting like this may leave effects that are for life?

Ok, but a note on the more serious side.

In the first post of the thread, it was suggested that “For example if you were the youngest of four and your three older sisters were very pretty and well built with colorful sexy lingerie laying around all the time would this cause you to be drawn to being like them and had to try on their undies to see what it felt like and it was transforming you to be like them?”

This is kind of an “ok” scientific hypothesis, since it can be tested and falsified (with regards to sisters, order of siblings, and sexy lingerie). It is sufficient to find one, and only one, mtf crossdresser where the hypothesis does not apply. I think the thread gives several such examples. In addition, I did not have any other women around me, apart from my mum, which therefore points in the same direction. (Also, not every mtf CD has sexy lingerie as the favorite garment, or the first item they ever tried. Some do, some don’t. And I know, I didn’t)

However, women are of course involved somehow for MtF CDing. If no women were around, there would be no point (or phenomena) of crossdressing. So in that sense, “women did cause us to start CDing”. It is kind of self fulfilling, and undeniable.

Does the presence of many sisters, and a lot of female clothing spread around, in the house has an impact for MtF CDers. I think for any young boy with a CD tendency, this give ample of opportunities to start early on. So, indirectly it will have an effect, but it can not necessarily be concluded to be the cause.

Nevertheless, the question why CD exists is interesting. I have no answer why, but speculating is always fun. :-)

Perhaps infant's inert, inherited, and genetically predisposed ability of mimicking other humans, for learning how to be a human, is at play?

Bima