The exponential explosion

[GabbiSophia]

Ok so April you were correct but not just the wanting to cd. It's every feeling holy cow the over whelming feelings are suffocating at time. I find everything is now producing a new not wanted feeling and i spend a bunch of time fighting the buzzing. It's no longer just mental it's physical..like being on age all day. Sheesh this stuff is pretty intense and it dumbfound's me that I am feeling the things I am feeling. I tell my wife I feel so much like a girl and she asks me .. what's that feel like? .. i can't even explain it to her.

Another day in my world...lol

[Kaitlyn Michele]

That's what lots of women say... they can't identify what if feels like to be a woman..

I agree with them. It's something they take for granted because its true ...they just experience life as a woman and it doesn't mean they feel like anything..
now think about us... its no wonder we mindscrew ourselves... how can it possible to "feel like a woman" when a woman can't tell you what it feels like??

What your wife is missing is that she often feels feminine.. her chemicals (hormones) in her body make her feel normal...her social experience confirms her nature ...
it all adds up to feeling like a woman, even tho she can't articulate it..

and for us, we watch women... they put on stockings, they wear skirts, they get their hair and nails done... that's all we really know at first...we have no idea what it means to "be a woman" or "feel like a woman"
..its all so confusing...and then over time, depending on your own nature, it gets distressing...
you don't get to have those social experiences, and the ones you do have feel strangely empty...
and you wear the clothes, get a wig, wear the panties...but you find out that being a woman is sooooo much more than clothes and other trappings of it...

it seems intense because it is intense..it seems crazy because it is crazy...it seems distressing because it is distressing... and it seems real because it is real...

[DeidraDee63]

I know how you feel, many of us do and there are reasons, in my opinion. You are not crazy, you like many of us probably have some form of intersex especially if you were born between 1940 and 1970. Research shows that while we appear as male we have female brains therefore we have special insight into both genders. I have the same issues and have since age five now with age I have medical issues, namely uro-genital and osteoporosis. I was on T for two years updated mri's, x-rays and symptoms proved it did not work or help, I am then put on Estrogen within three months these issues improve and continue to improve, medical tests do not lie. Yes, it helps the dysphoria but where it will take me is unknown, but you talk about a mind trip. Yes it is complex and feel free to pm me if you want to discuss or for giggles do a search on "DES Exposure and Gender Issues"

Intense YES / Real YES / Distressing only if you let it / Crazy NO, just very under researched and very misunderstood.

Good Luck and my prayers are for and with all of us.