Does the desire to cross dress wax and wane for any other members?

[Taylor Ray]

Because it certainly does for me. Today I was so happy to be filled once again with the pink fog. But there were a few weeks there where I had no interest whatsoever.

Other points of view much appreciated.

[Robin777]

I does for me, at the most a few days at a time. Then I just get a very strong urge to dress. It has never lasted much longer than a week or two. That usually happens when I am in the middle of a remodeling project. I believe it is normal for the desire to go away and come back.

[Kate Simmons]

Yeah but mostly according to how much "mad money" I can afford to blow at any given moment.:heehee::)

[Laura Collette]

It definitely does for me. I've gone for years without being interested but for the past twelve months I have been. I think it's partly a response to stress in my life but that's not the whole story. In any event life is simpler when Laura is away but when she comes back I'm glad to see her.

[Hell on Heels]

There have been several long stretches of time, I mean years, without CD'ing. But I had felt A thin fog layer a few times during those periods. With a pretty thick fog set in right now, I still have days here and there that I get focused on my work and don't feel it pulling me out of the closet.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[ArleneRaquel]

For about ten years now my interest has stayed steady and I'm so happy that it has.

[Anna H]

Yeah sure. But when it's a case of "can't do it when it needs to be done"
it can be very frustrating. I think it's a Very Good thing and makes for
a better person.

(but then, i don't know everyone...)

[Tina_gm]

I was actually thinking of starting a thread on this. I am in a somewhat weird phase right now. I have plenty of moments where I feel feminine, but lately have had very little desire to dress. Has anyone ever had that feeling, or lack of yet still connected to their feminine side??

[dana digs sweaters]

Sure does for me.
My hobbies take a certain amount of their own time to enjoy.
Dividing life up to suit ones desires is a scaled calendar to me. Throughout the year interest are scheduled whether they are femme or male.
Time is made for each. There is no "Balance" for me "to have".

[Dawn Gurl]

It never as seemed to go away for me, Even in periods that I'm not able to dress, due to business trips and such, I mind is always in the pink fog. My feminine side is always there...... and I'm happy for it.

[Raychel]

I know for some of the members here, the urge to crossdress does come and go,
But over the last 10 years it has stayed pretty steady for me,

[Jacqueline Winona]

I can go months with no desire to dress, then I'll want to do it several times per month. Most recent trigger was when my DADT wife gave me a few pairs of her panties, folding them neatly with the ones I already had in my drawer, right next to my hose. Really cool of her, as this is something she does not like. FWIW, proving to her that this really is an occasional thing I do, not an obsession, and something I don't need to set time aside for, mattered a lot.

[Madilyn A.]

I go several months dressing several times per week, then may go 6 months without. It seems to have to do with opportunity or lack of....for dressing.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I have to take a break when it gets warmer here, so I go with dressing for about 6 months. Even when I can, sometimes I just don't feel like it, so I don't. I am always torn, I may not feel like it, but am I missing an opportunity?

[Rachelakld]

used to be that way, but now I get moody within 2 weeks, so need to regularly get out

[cheryl]

I have that pink fog over me as well. My situation doesn't allow me to do it at a whim. Kids and such. But its pretty much something I'd do regularly if I could.

[Anna H]

Adding this....

I Do like to have my girly things around me, though...
even if I don't feel like dressing up. I like my heels there
in front of me and my makeup all laid out...just waiting
for when time rolls around again. Which it surely will soon.

I've gotten rid of most all my men's jeans...so I have
to wear my girls jeans almost always. A few different
styles and the outside world never knows any difference
...so, maybe technically, I hold on to a part of it at all
times.

[erica12b]

All the time , up and down , guilt no guilt

[Terri Andrews]

for me the desire never goes away ,I think the older I get the more I realize the less time I have so now out am out every chance I get ,usually 4 or 5 days a week.

[Annaliese2010]

I've never been compelled to submerge my identity into Annaliese. It's too much work.In fact for quite awhile now it's been the case that most of the time I'm not her. I guess I'm drifting to normalcy and slowly forgetting her. I don't know what "pink fog" means though I seen it referenced here quite a bit.

[Allisa]

Oh my has it, years on end but my femme ego never does now, just the urge to get all dolled up, it is just to much work sometimes. Allthough some garments are allways worn if only at home.



Lisa

[grace7777]

My ability to dress is limited by my job , so usually not much opportunity during the week to go out dressed. I try to go out in public dressed at least once a week. When in my apartment I am in female clothes a lot of the time, usually being a night gown.

[ShelbyDawn]

I have had very long stretches where I had no interest in dressing whatsoever.
The intensity does ebb and flow but I am always at least wearing my panties.
As for my current interest level going up and down, it usually disappears just after I fall asleep and comes back not to long after the alarm goes off in the morning.. :)

:hugs:

Shelby

[Vanessa Rose]

Taylor yes it does wax and wane.

Shelby. You are funny. It stops when I go to sleep and starts when I wake up.
That there is what we call funny shit!

Vanny

[Jaylah414]

Mostly work or other obligations occupy too much of my time to actually dress up en femme. I can go for weeks sometimes without even wearing as much as pair of panties, but that's not because I don't want to dress. It's because a project at work or home repairs or some other responsibility takes up the majority of my time.

I think about cross dressing quite often. For me though, it's more about how I feel. I often change the way I walk or carry myself when I think no one can see me. At home alone, I'll do things that I certainly wouldn't do in public - Things that make me feel more feminine. For instance, if there's a really hot song playing, I'll dance way more expressively and fluidly than I would as a man. I just feel more comfortable and find myself to be much more open if I'm in girl mode. I don't necessarily need to dress up. For me, it's a frame of mind.

But, to get back to Taylor's original question, the desire doesn't "wax and wane." I consciously suppress it. Life goes on, and I can't always have what I want.

[Cheryl T]

It used to a lot more than of late. Since I came out to my wife and she has fully accepted me the urge to purge and the lack of desire just aren't there anymore. I think it's the lifting of the guilt portion that has eliminated that cycle for the most part and allowed me to enjoy being me more.

[Raychel]

Very wise words Cheryl. I think that was the turning point for me as well.
Once I came out to my wife and we got thru the trying times afterwards.
that is when My life really changed.

[ttacitus]

Certainly waxes and wanes for me. Used to get to the point of purging but not so much anymore.

[Stevie]

I go long periods too and out of the blue I get this uncontrollable urge to dress. This happens at least once or twice a month.

[SherylB]

It is on and off for me. There are months at a stretch I go without the desire to bring Sheryl out. I may occasionally think about it but mostly a passing urge. However, there are days when I want to be Sheryl all the time. Depends on a lot of factors I guess

[Elizabeth36]

Can I ask you all how important it would be to have someone in your life who gave you approval and acceptance if your wife completely rejects the crossdressing. What would contact with the approving and accepting person give you? Even if this contact was only online. I'm a GG btw. I guess what I'm asking is if that contact would fan the flame. An analogy would be like a hit of heroin. Would it cause the feminine feelings to wax not wane if shared online on a regular basis.

[Tina B.]

On again off again for me, I've been known to lose interest for months at a time, and then at times I will dress everyday, and stay that way for days at a time.
Having the time to play, or distractions by other interest have a lot to do with it.
Elizabeth, as far as your question, I've never felt it necessary to have any ones approval, But I'm going to do what it takes to keep my head on straight, so I'm going to dress, and I do that at home, I was ready to go it alone, had the wife not accepted me for who I am, I won't live a lie in my own home, it's bad enough keeping a front up for the rest of the world. Beyond her, the rest of the world can keep there opinion to themselves.
I know walking away from the marriage would have seemed harsh to some, but you have no idea what it's like to be transgendered, and have to suppress it, I was an emotional basket case when I tried, I didn't like me, and gave others reason to agree, and I would never want to go back there and be that person again, I would rather live alone, but having an accepting and understanding wife, I didn't have too.

[Caden Lane]

Sometimes life just gets in the way...other times because life gets in the way and gets stressful, I feel the overpowering need to dress.

[Kristy 56]

It does for me. Sometimes I can' t wait to get the chance. Other times it seems like too much effort.

[sweetshauna]

simply put....yes.

[Kate's at home]

When I was younger, the urges and interest waxed and waned as reported by others. Guilt used to be a factor for me as well, typically coming on the heels (pun intended) of acting on the urges. I also went through a period in my mid 30's to late 40's when I had no urges and did not dress at all for almost 15 years (I have a theory about this, but am not sure...). Also as others report, I have always had a range of responsibilities and other interests to keep me busy, where there is no time or psychological space for dressing. However, over the last 10 years I manage to find time daily to dress and this aspect of me has become more important and fullfilling. With getting dressed daily there are no longer urges, just looking forward to getting home at the end of the day and having parts of the weekend fully to myself with other responsibilities met and I can just relax as Kate. I have noticed that dressing daily tempers the fog significantly. Overcoming any last traces of guilt has also helped with simply just enjoying this part of me daily, and Kate gradually has just become a part of me.

Kate

[Beverley Sims]

When younger different interests such as a new girlfriend will kill the urge for a while, but as the new girl gets a little boring so the pink fog returns.

[Joyce S.]

Define wax and wane for me. It did change a bit when I told my wife. I felt very liberated and for a shortwhile I think I went a little crazy with it. At one point my wife asked me what do I need with all those bras? It has tapered off some and I feel a little relief. I didn't want to go too far and burn myself out on dressing.

I am always shopping though...

[Annaliese2010]

Can I ask you all how important it would be to have someone in your life who gave you approval and acceptance... What would contact with the approving and accepting person give you? Even if this contact was only online. I'm a GG btw... Would it cause the feminine feelings to wax not wane if shared online on a regular basis. Oh yes Elizabeth I think that kind of attention acceptance and encouragement from a GG would fan the flames of feminine feelings, even if only online.

The opposite is true too. Like when a GG friend recently said "there's something male that's very much lacking in you..." then she called me a "crossdresser!" as if that were a curse word. I responded "yeah so what?" and acted like I didn't care. But actually, when a GG says stuff like that it leaves a mark makes me feel bad and discourages me from being Annaliese.

So yeah it would be nice to get GG encouragement now and then. :battingeyelashes:

[Karan]

yes it does

[Jenn A116]

Because it certainly does for me. Today I was so happy to be filled once again with the pink fog. But there were a few weeks there where I had no interest whatsoever.

Yes, it certainly does with me. I've also found that if I get an opportunity to dress for several (5+) days or more I like to get back to drab mode during part of that time.

[MsVal]

The Pink Fog had been pretty thick here for a few months. That caused me quite a bit of angst as crossdressing makes my spouse very unhappy. I had many thoughts lately about cruising the thrift stores in search of a beige skirt, frilly white blouse, and chocolate jacket. About a week ago the fog started to dissipate. Today I had a day long opportunity to go shopping but was able to resist the urge, probably because of the lifting fog.

Mixed emotions:
I really enjoy living in the fog, except for the hurt it would cause if my spouse knew it was on my mind. Without the pink fog, the anxiety is gone, but also the enjoyment.

[Alice Torn]

Yes, it does. For me, having just finished 11 days working under my car in subzero and below zereo temps, with four layers of clothes on, i have been way too torn up, bruised, cut, strained, and mentally and emotionally frayed, to even think about dressing, until i heal up.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Always have the desire to dress and do so 4 or so times a week. Just occasionally I think that the effort to transform is too much. I still make the effort and I'm pleased when I do.

[Vickie_CDTV]

For some, the desire ebbs and flows, it is not unusual at all. Nothing to worry about.

[Shirley Anne]

Ive lost the inclination to dress for over six months now, still think about dressing but when time comes just cant be bothered.

[Taylor Ray]

Thanks for all the replies, girls! It's nice to know that others experience this as well. Since I live alone I have all my things spread out over the apartment, so I am always around my clothes and wig forms etc. And I only own women's underwear so there's that. I guess I sometimes get overwhelmed with the thought of putting in effort.

[CONSUELO]

i have experienced this "waxing and waning" of desire for a long time. At its most extreme it has contributed to my purging my wardrobe, but that was a long time ago. Now the peaks and valleys are smoother and during the periods when I am less interested I continue to dress in feminine underwear and I always sleep in a nightdress. I think it is the special effort needed to dress and put on makeup that at times feels like it is more trouble than enjoyment. This is one part of the cross dressing experience for which I have never seen a satisfactory explanation.

[Sabrina69]

I been dressing in women's clothing since as early as 6yo and it has always been an on and off thing, except for pantyhose, which I do have a fetish for. However, as I get older (45 now) the xdressing swing gets stronger as well as sticks around longer. I use to go through purges and hate myself for dressing or needing to dress. I now have a very supportive and encouraging wife, so even in my downswings, she will insist I dress in fem... partially because she likes it, the other is it calms me and she likes the calmer me. I still have not fully accepted it much to her frustration. If you ever met me outside, you would never guess I would crossdress... For me, its shame at times I need to, and I do mean NEED to. I am still trying to understand it...

[lovetobedani]

To be overly simple. YES, but the feeling is always there. I just don't want to be bothered at times.

[Adriana Moretti]

wax on......wax off.....

[Taylor Ray]

Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.

[Amyy]

The desire to dress has always fluctuated for me. Often it will build and build in anticipation of getting to take a new step or get some new item. Then once I've done it i'll be over it for a few weeks. Until I start to think of the next thing :P
It's almost like I need to get my fix and then that satisfies me for a while. Other times when I have been unable to for a while or am really busy, it'll come and go without me doing anything. I always wondered if it could have been hormonal as if often seemed cyclical. It's my special version of that time of the month :P

[jeniinnylons]

For me esp the desire goes away when I meet a new woman. I imagine for me its because my CDing may be more fetish. Unfortunately its been almost 5 years since I've had a date. :'(

[stephannietv]

the desire to cross dress hasn't left me since I was 11 years old,i actually get very depressed when I can't and hate summers because can't keep legs shaved and my wife doesn't work in the summer,so chances to be stephannie are rare and is so frustrating

[CONSUELO]

I have noticed references to CD'ing being calming for many of us. It certainly is for me and that must play a role in these swings of desire.

[Annaliese2010]

Everyday I am less and less interested in all this. I dunno...it used to be fun escapism but now seems so boring. Not worth the effort. I wanna be where all the Real action is. Mainstream business where everything moves fast. Icy cool fat stacks of big money opportunity, business. science, accomplishment, discovery and innovation. Coast to coast world wide ADVENTURE!


219162

:daydreaming:

[CDAshleyAnne]

It does wax and wane...which is why storage is a necessity. Don't purge when it wanes because it will come back just like the tide - sometimes like a typhoon (at least for me). I've had desires to dress disappear for years on end only to come rushing back with no identifiable trigger - but I welcome each cycle as part of my natural person, regardless of which way I am cycling. Enjoy your time regardless of whether the desire to dress is there or not. :-)

[Erica Anne]

Yes, Gendermutt, many times. I get moments I just do not want to bother, and times when that is all I want to do. I also found that if I stay away from my clothes for a while it makes it fun to try them on again. Last thing I will do is purge anything. That usually results in spending 3 time more than the last time.

did not realize many pages on this thread. my bad....


It comes and goes. For me it is always a morning ritual. Not often I dress up after work but lately, that is the first thing I want to do when I come home.

[Jamsparks2003]

Yes, I also feel the same. I believe it has to do with what is going on in my life. I'm not able to share this part of myself with my wife which also plays a part. However today is a great day as I get some time alone and can dress and it feels really good!!

[Donna June]

Always there to a point, but it does wax and wane as you put it. Every month I do have a "period" where the pink fog is quite intense.

[JeanVigo1905]

I'll sometimes go a week or so with no urge to dress, but it seems to always return. Not sure why.

[samantha rogers]

Ironically, I was just thinking about this. Yes, the desire does come and go. It has been very strong the last few months but today is somewhat reduced, which got me thinking.
I am sure a lot is my own GID, and subject to stress levels from other areas in my life, but even when it goes away I now know it is not really ever gone, just relaxed or sleeping for whatever reason.
This year, though, I am pushing myself to explore it all more, to see where it leads.
Day by day.
Sometimes, when I am not "driven" to dress but do anyway, I learn more about myself than when I am.

[sabrinaedwards]

I think that I am waxed squared; I do not seem to have a wane.

[Brandi Lesalle]

t definetely comes and goes mainly from fear and guilt in the past. But this year I admited it to my wife so now I take it one day at a time. Some days are boxer brief kind of days...and others are satin silk and nylon days and I don't let myself feel guilty anymore.

[Tina_gm]

I would say that I am at most 80 20 in either direction. usually closer to the center..... so my urges to be either are never gone. There have been times when those urges to be feminine have come at bad times.... but I am never without both genders in me at some level.

[Taylor Ray]

wow! thanks for all the insightful posts, gals. very helpful indeed!

maybe this isn't a "double life" after all!!!

[Tina_gm]

For some it is a double life and that is best for them. For others such as myself, it is more of a blended life with society and other issues which impede the blended life.

[CynthiaD]

Sometimes it does wax and wane for me, but the down times seldom last more than a day, if even that long. After one of these periods, it feels really good to get back to "normal."

[princessheather86]

It doesn't for me. Although I'm not unhappy being a boy, my opportunities to dress up are very few and far between, so I'm always wishing I could be a girl.:o But maybe that will change once I move into my own apartment and can dress up for days at a time.:)

[Aeslyn]

Wax? Have never done it? Does it feel good? Is it easy or hard? :)
Sorry, just my little lol for the day, couldn't resist...

As per the question... the idea of clothing not having gender has become so normalized in my mind/life that it never 'wanes' for me so far as what I wear. It never occurs to me which of my underwear draws I am pulling my daily unmentionables from and so far as "traditionally considered male clothing" all I really have for pants in jeans or dressier types of pants which I don't find to comfy so as soon as I am home I pull out some pj bottoms, yogo pant, or whatever all of which were bought in the "woman's section".

However, the desire to go further than that certainly waxes and wanes. Mostly in accordance with how much free time I have or how much energy I have. This is for things like shaving my legs, or shaving at all which I admit I sometimes don't do for days.

[katherin28]

It definitely does for me. I can go for months without the urge and then all of a sudden, I am knee deep in pantyhose and shopping for makeup.

[April_Ligeia]

I'm sure this is a normal thing. Most days when I get home from work I'll get changed and put on some makeup because I look better when I do. Some days I just can't be bothered, rough day at work, etc. I'm sure everyone goes through this.

[Milou]

I was about to make the same post. I haven't dress for 7 years and haven't had any desire for about 2 weeks. We'll see how things go on.

[rachel_rachel]

I'm currently going through this myself.. I still buy the odd thing but can't be bothered wearing it.
I've got a weeks growth on my face and can't be bothered shaving either.... So, other than looking like a circus freak, I choose not to dress.

[StephanieH]

In a word - yep! ;-)

[CONSUELO]

My desire to cross dress has always ebbed and flowed for me except that I have a baseline that never shifts. I always wear female underwear, keep my body as hairless as possible, wear feminine perfume and wear a nightdress to bed. Also I always sit on the toilet, never stand. It is as if there are some things that will never shift. I feel uncomfortable if I contemplate wearing masculine underwear. I don't own any so it would require a shopping expedition to change that. My mood swings last for several months and they end unexpectedly with a strong desire to be fully dressed. I have tried to correlate these swings with other things in my life but have failed so far, although I do suspect that depression has something to do with it.

[Glenda58]

For me it goes with the seasons winter I tend to dress more because I'm inside more. In the summer or when it's warmer out I dress less because I'm out doing other things but always under dressing.

[Jaymees22]

I'm always waxing ?? Jaymee

[TessInJxn]

Over my lifetime, yes, my urges have waxed and waned. Now, I'm more focused on it. My wife knows, and we've sort of set up a schedule for "date night." However, my desire is more intense the more often I am able to fully express my femininity. When I look back at my life (I started dress as a young child), it seems like, while waxing and waning some, my desire his grown more intense overall. I attribute this to a couple of things. The thing that I think most affects it, though, is my being more willing to accept my gender dysphoria as I mature. I do not know what that will ultimately mean as far as a transition goes, but I think the cat is sort of out of the bag . . . er . . . closet on this one for me.

[TessInJxn]

My desire to cross dress has always ebbed and flowed for me except that I have a baseline that never shifts. I always wear female underwear, keep my body as hairless as possible, wear feminine perfume and wear a nightdress to bed. Also I always sit on the toilet, never stand. It is as if there are some things that will never shift.

I also have a base-line that pretty much mirrors Consuelo's baseline. Women's panties, pantyhose under my suits, earrings in both ears, sitting in the restroom, full body shave, heels when I'm alone at my office, etc., etc. Those things are always present.

[Steffani]

My desire has always been there. Actually acting on the desire and dressing up changes a lot. Winter months are when I want to do it the most. Sometimes it's a cycle at around the same time every month I have the need to dress.

[Barbie Anne]

It used to wax and wane for me, and there were years at a time when it didn't even cross my mind, but I feel it was always part of my subconcious self.

For the past year it's been on my mind constantly and the past 2 months intensely, and dressed full time when appropriate at home. Always underdressed now while in public and I've gone so far as to purge my male underwear. I'm always shaved from the nose down *giggles* and my toenails are always painted, with clear on my fingernails full time now. I guess Barbie's trying to tell me something, and for once I'm listening :)