a important question

[tiffanynjcd24]

Why it is so hard for me a crossdresser to find someone that accepts all of me? Ppl tells me they like me as a guy and they dont like the fact i dress up

[Vanessa Rose]

Because they don't love your heart more than what they see in their eyes. That is all I have

Vanny

[Hell on Heels]

Hi Tiffany, there is someone for everyone in this world, keep searching and you'll find the right person.
Muck Love,
Kristyn

[Stephanie Miller]

Maybe you just have to be open to looking a little harder. That person is out there. You just haven't met.

[tiffanynjcd24]

Thanks for the advice. Its just i having trouble with girls saying they would never date a crossdresser. However with guys, they are interested in me like they be sending their private parts to me online through texts and private messages and online. Idk

[Kate Simmons]

Evidently those people really don't know the full you Hon. Their loss. :)

[tiffanynjcd24]

I agree. For instance this lady i used to know tell me that no woman would want to date me being that i crossdress.
And that she was trying to convince me to give up crossdressing

[Anna H]

One thing to keep in mind is that we usually 'know'
early on. We spend entire lifetimes thinking about
it regularly.

Most people never even give it a second thought...
unless they see it on some jackass jerry springer type
of show....so impressions of us aren't that great.

Then if you look up anything to do with CD online...it's
all a bunch of deviant stuff.

Hard to get anyone to take us seriously when all they
ever see is that sort of thing.

At least here, we're all real people....not a bunch of caricatures.

Kate

[tiffanynjcd24]

I understand where you coming from. When i first dress up as a girl at 13, i didnt know what was that like tbh. I just did it because i saw it on tv like watching jerry and maury. I remember that i was wearing a long dress, leggings bra and shoes. Hell i even use a tampon to pretend i have a period. I thought it was fun and it will be like whatever whatever and i didnt know or that it was a phase. But when i kept doing it only this time i was truly happy and comfortable and i was saying this is the real me that i am a cd. But when my mom found out, she beat me so bad that i suppressed it for years until when i went to foster home

[Katy120]

I will try to answer your important question as gently as a can. If my respectful concern isn't obvious, please accept my apology in advance of reading my reply. Whether we want to admit it or not, societal norms do exist. People have certain expectations of behavior that have been part of their thinking since birth. There are individuals who seemingly "get away" with breaking these conventions, Liberace from a generation ago, and Lady Gaga from today, but by and large these are exceptions to the norm. You can bemoan the fact people like this can seemingly do anything they want and get away with it and ordinary folks cannot, but that is the way it is. Money and fame can buy a degree of latitude in attitude that is not afforded to lesser mortals. One of those societal norms I mentioned earlier is that men act and dress in a manly way. That is a given in our world. When someone defies that norm or tries to bend the rules, they can expect a degree of condemnation. Generally that is in the form of simply ignoring that person. Occasionally it goes even farther than that. There are conclaves of like-minded individuals in our world and these villages within a city are growing in number, but in general these too are exceptions to the rule. I am not surprised to read that people seem to like you when you present as a man, but don't have time for you when you present as a female. You're breaking the rules of the people around you. I know it's a bitter pill, but to quote Cronkite, "That's the way it is." I wish I could give you a more optimistic view of the world, but this is how I see it. Perhaps others will chime in with a more positive view and offer some concrete suggestions.

[Anna H]

Oh that's terrible. I never got beat...just laughed at. But
I didn't care...

You look young and Very pretty to me. I think you're going
to do fine. A girl will find you and hold onto you. No doubt.

:happy: ♥♥♥

[tiffanynjcd24]

@kate it was terrible and harsh like i didnt know exactly why. My guess is she thought i would turn gay and maybe she did it idk exactly. Next thing i knew that she was trying make sure i wouldnt turn out like that. Being that i got a beating i suppressed it for a long time and it hurts i cant express my true self. So i try to hide the best way but i knew it was wrong. What made me to really go back to crossdressing was that my foster sister was trying to tell me i should be marlyin monroe for Halloween.

[Alice Torn]

Tiff,, I have been told the very same thing by GG's, that no woman will want to date a man who crossdresses, nor marry one. Contrary, to the old saying, "there is someone for everyone", I know too many people who have died single. MANY! In many cases, there may be someone, but we never meet that person, or failed to do what was necessary, to follow through, like our ship came in, but we missed it. I don't see me ever have a SO either. I have had some nice woen friends in my lifetime, but none would want me as a mate. Life is tough.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I understand that part. It is what it is. I would say that guys do find me attractive just the way they look at pics of me as a female and hit on me online. Its like i attract more guys than girls and some of them be like you should transition.

[Amy Hepker]

I know what you are saying Tiffany, I live in the most accepting part of the country for LGBT people, and I am having a very hard time finding a Lady to accept me the way I am. I have many Lady friends, but only one that wants a relationship, but she is to vindictive to my liking, plus she is slower than honey in January.

[tiffanynjcd24]

Ouch that is kind of tough hun. Life is not easy

[lingerieLiz]

Kate gave you the best explanation of the facts of life. I've never been on line, but that is not the best place to meet the right person. If you are a straight CD then meet women as a guy and let them get to know you first. After a few dates talk about the rest of you.

I'm a very independent person, always have been. What I found was that not needing approval from others enabled me to accept people who didn't approve. Eventually some did. As you accept who you are and become open you will find others who accept you. If you have women friends that are social in nature that know about you and are accepting of you, talk to them about meeting potential SOs.

[tiffanynjcd24]

Well theres this one time i met a girl on the bus she was going though issues as i was long story. Anyway next thing i knew she suspect that i was gay first then i told her the truth

[Beverley Sims]

Tiffany,
I am assuming your present friends are not CD friendly, that being said you do need to cultivate a different circle of friends that would be more accepting.
They would have a very different outlook to you present circle of friends.
You do not need to cast your present friends aside though.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I understand where you coming from. Most of times i want to forget what other ppl says about me and live life for me

[kendra_gurl]

tiffany may I suggest you reverse your question and ask yourself "When I crossdress as a female why should anyone want to accept that part of me"

Perhaps when you can answer that question to yourself you will then be better able to explain your crossdressing to others you meet. You are who you are and your feminine traits are part of you and make you more than the average male. But a lot of men can have feminine traits that women find attractive without the need to wear feminine clothing and makeup. So first try to really define a good explanation of why you need to do this when your telling others about yourself.

[tiffanynjcd24]

To answer my own question, i would say that i dress as a female because i feel that is the real me, self expression and feeling comfortable in my skin