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View Full Version : Chomping at the bit



Cheyenne Skye
01-30-2014, 08:49 PM
Sooo, If you have read any of my previous posts, you may remember that I have not come out at work yet. But I feel this is one of my major road blocks right now. A couple of weeks ago I was chatting with a girl at work about my lousy financial situation. She made a comment that kind of caught me off guard. She said "why don't you sell some sperm?". So I said "I can't anymore" and proceeded to tell her that I'm on medicine that has stopped production. Then a couple days ago another girl asked how I was and I mentioned I've been having trouble sleeping the past few days. She suggested I try taking melatonin to help me sleep. I said "But it won't stop the thoughts buzzing in my head that keep me up" She said, "What thoughts? Is it about your divorce?" The only thing I could say was "Among other things." In both instances, I found it very hard to not just blurt out something about my being trans being the reason for my discomforts. But I am so scared too. I've tried calling my HR department several times (they are out of state) and every time it goes to voice mail and they want me to leave my name, number and which location I work at and they say they will respond in a day or two. The company has a diversity policy and they added trans benefits to the group insurance plan last year. But I really wanted to talk to them anonymously first just to get a feel for the process. This whole coming out at work thing has me quite consternated. I guess I should just bite the bullet and do it. I even considered the idea that I could do my legal name change but not tell them anything else (the name I've chosen could go either way but is more often considered a feminine name). I could use some advice or maybe just a swift kick in the arse. I don't know what to do. Help please.

Rachel Smith
01-30-2014, 10:00 PM
Sounds to me like your company has taken the right steps. Now it is your turn to take yours. I was scared too when I did it. Turns out as usual it was much ado about nothing. Don't be afraid to confide in a female associate, all the ones I have talked to have been nothing but supportive.

Rachel

StephiefromSyr
01-30-2014, 11:05 PM
im not completely out at my job either, i told one person. Sometimes it has to be in baby steps. Find one person you can trust and go from there.

Angela Campbell
01-31-2014, 03:17 PM
I contacted my company through an e mail address they could not connect to me. I discussed transition and they assured me they were supportive so I began the process of coming out. On Tuesday we will have an employees meeting to announce it to all.

I would not recommend to just change the name with no explanation, nor find just one someone to trust there. I would go to HR and discuss with them and work out a plan.