Came out to employer today.

[Peggie Lee]

Came out to employer

I had a good talk to my employers HR today, first to ask how they handle employes that transition on the job, what they required if any letters or documents they my want. I was really surprised, all that was asked was to dress appropriately for the work being done and to use the unisex lavatory did I make others uncomfortable.

HR offer to conduct an introduction if I wanted and diversity training if I had problems with any fellow employes or she advised me to send some time breaking them in to what was going to happen and not to spring it them all at once. Company policy forbids any harassment because of gender identity, this is a state law in Calif.

HR said that would work with me on time off for surgical needs that I my have.
All in all I was very pleased with the talk, so I went clothes shopping after work to celebrate because I don't have enough to dress full time.

I told her about mid year was what I was aiming for, she said I could start whenever I was ready.

Love to you all

Peggie Lee

P.S. My therapist thinks I am ready to start HT, so hopefully
I can get an appointment in Feb. to get started.

[Ann Louise]

That sounds like a good start Peggie Lee, but I would suggest you look into the "unisex" bathroom requirement that they placed on you. Is that legal in California? I don't think so. That arrangement may suit you now, and perhaps that's ok for many of us here, but speaking for myself only, I would seek to use the women's lavatory exclusively. I would not want to become a "second class woman" right from the start if you can avoid it, and from the get-go you would be placing yourself in the middle between the women and the men. You are a woman, period, end of story. It will be a struggle, you have many emotional ups and downs ahead, and a giant learning curve to climb, but if you're going to transition on and off the job you'd better get used to it. Good luck honey, Ann

[Rianna Humble]

It's good to start discussions with HR in the way that you have, but I agree with Ann Louise, that you should tread warily around the question of the unisex bathroom.

If you have to accept it, you should make it clear, as I did when I was at that stage, that you will not be prepared to accept the discrimination for more than a couple of weeks.
I would also ask them to make their position clear in writing. When I asked for that, my company checked with an employment law expert and discovered that they did not have the right to ask me to use different rest rooms. No-one at work thought there was anything wrong with me using the ladies' facilities once I had officially started my transition.

[FurPus63]

Congrats! That's a big step! Hope it all works out for you. I remember when I came out at work, it was stressful and exciting at the same time. I would just use the women's room from day one, and if someone hassles you take advice given here and ask for it in writing. I doubt anyone will even say anything. Most people don't care. There's always this talk about using women's restrooms, like it's some big huge deal/problem; yet I've never had one person say anything to me in any bathroom situation, anywhere. Just play it "cool" and don't make a big scene out of the situation and I'm thinking you'll be o.k.

Also; would like to add one more piece of advice. You might want to ask your immediate supervisor if you could have a staff meeting to tell everyone at once what's going on. Then come in the next day dressed in full femme. The partial thing or trying to gently break people into it didn't work for me. They are going to be shocked no matter what you do....so just do it! That's what I think.

Paulette

[I Am Paula]

That sounds like a good and fair employer. You might re address the bathroom situation as your transition progresses.

[vikki2020]

All in all, it sounds like that went pretty well. Good luck to you, and hope the journey goes right to where you want it to go.

[Ashley D.]

It sounds like your off to a good start.
On the bathroom part.
When I came out and transitioned at work they changed both employe rest room to unisex.
But when I do use the gest rest rooms no one have a problom with me useing the woman's.
attest not now.

[Peggie Lee]

Hi all
I have now talked to all the ladies at work And there is no issue with anyone about using the ladies room when I go full time at work and HR accepted there decision on the matter. This has been the most stressful thing I've done since telling my family .


Love to all

Peggie Lee