your kids and your dressing

[erica12b]

I see on here that some do tell there kids and some dont, some at early ages and some not tell older, but most that do tell (i think) have girls ,
most of the time we hear the good ,and gloss over the bad stories

Whats your best, telling kid and you dressing story
Any good dressing stories with your girl,or girls ?

Also i have two son`s i will never tell the oldest and think my younges is to young .

[Beverley Sims]

Like you I have no telling the children dressing stories.
Why do they need to know, unless you are going to transition or come out generally to everyone else.

It is not being dishonest, like not sharing it with your wife.

[Nikki A.]

My kids are now young adults, and have only seen me fully dressed for Halloween. While i have not told them, I think they have a feeling but as its never come up. I haven't seen the reason to.

[Requal Jo]

My children are all adult with families of their own. My daughter may accept but my sons would never accept or understand as I have a very masculine job and hobby. My wife knows, understands and accepts the Requal times of de-stressing and relaxation they give me.

[Jackie7]

When I was outed, almost 15 years ago, I saw no choice but wade into it head-on and that included revealing to my grown kids. My eldest, my daughter, decided to ignore the whole thing and has never discussed it with me. The next oldest, a son, didn't like it one bit and took his mother's part as the divorce progressed, which led to him not speaking with me for almost three years. And my youngest son, who at the time was living in my in-law apartment with his fiancé, gave me a pretty scarf for Christmas. Three kids, three totally different responses.

These days I don't do anything to conceal my dressing habits but I don't force it on them or their children either. So when I go to visit it is en drab. But when they come to visit me, I don't bother to put away photos of me en femme, nor do I try to conceal my rather huge girl closet. It's just part of the background, nobody seems to give a damn.

[Eryn]

My daughters are both in college away from home. My CDing only became an issue when they were in high school and we decided not to tell them while they lived at home because it would have needlessly complicated their lives to keep my secret. Once they were away from home and had developed lives of their own separate from ours we decided to tell them. They are both accepting, one in a reserved way and the other enthusiastically.

Whether to tell younger children is an issue we didn't have to face. Very young children wouldn't have any problem with a parent's CDing, but the problem is that they cannot keep secrets and it is more likely than not that you will be outed. It can also be rough on the child since that friend that they are confiding in might be next weeks' enemy who will make their live miserable. Children can be so cruel to each other.

[melissakozak]

I have a younger child and there has been no disclosure, as little ones tend to open mouth without filter...so when my young one gets older, I will then tell....everyone has a different situation. Melissa.

[reb.femme]

I've recently told my three sons, with my wife's help that is. They are grown men, so not kids per se. As they visit my place now and then and all my stuff is on general show, we thought it better to tell them, rather than them find out the bad way. It always felt like being in a Thunderbirds sketch when they visited, having to hide everything. At least now I don't have to be like Jeff Tracy when the bell rings, I can stay in Tin Tin mode (not Grandma, before anyone says it) :heehee:.

Youngest two were no sweat but the eldest still a little distant as regards contact/communications. I would rather have kept it secret but he ho, that's life.

Rebecca

[Helen Grandeis]

My wife knows and would like to forbid it if it was in her power.

The oldest two adult children do not know and I have no need to tell them.

The youngest adult child (33) knows because when I erased my trackers on his computer to access this forum, I was not successful. He accepts me and respects me. I have not introduced him to Helen but feel like I could.

[Raychel]

I have told all of my 3 sons, all is fine, I dress when I want,
t seems if you are an ok father to start with, they really don't
care how you dress.

[Bootsiegalore]

My Kids are 22 and 19. Both know and I have many trans friends.... My kids have known since about 2004 (10 years) both are ok with it. I am open with my trans friends and my family. Not with work however. I do my "Clark Kent" construction thing in the mornings from 4 - 12.... Then it's Daisy Duke or Wonder Woman for the rest of the day! 19 still at home "Stay at home son" 22 off on his own and a mechanic! Even at advanced ages they are still like ticks for money.... Luckilly my manly work makes me 150K a year. Would love to be Rachel all the time but I need the money so I do what I can!


I have told all of my 3 sons, all is fine, I dress when I want,
t seems if you are an ok father to start with, they really don't
care how you dress.

I fully agree! And I love your Boots and Heels subtext!

Rachel

[reb.femme]

................t seems if you are an ok father to start with, they really don't
care how you dress.

As generalisations go, this for anyone other than yourself is complete and utter ****! By omission it states that if a son or daughter isn't OK with it, I or others are crap fathers?

[Raychel]

OK....... not exactly the way I was going with that. :thinking:

[Eryn]

By omission it states that if a son or daughter isn't OK with it, I or others are crap fathers?

No, Reb.femme, she didn't state that at all.

I can state that bacon tastes good, but that does not mean, "by omission," that all other foods taste bad.

[reb.femme]

Eryn,

"It seems that if you are a good father to start with......." does imply exactly that, but I'm not here to derail the thread.

[Patty-Fay]

No one in my family knows, not my wife nor my two adult children.

There seems to be few of us who both tell, and are accepted. Why is that? My impression is that we are the new "queer." My general impression is that crossdressing is less accepted than homosexuality, these days. Gays are now less likely to hide their true selves from family and friends because society has grown more tolerant. While I applaud the more tolerant attitude toward gays, there has been less (if any) progress towards accepting us*. Our families are part of this society, and therefore many of us don't expect them to be accepting, others of us get this confirmed by revealing, and a relatively small minority or us actually do get accepted.

There is one parenting issue that I think we can all agree is helpful, and that's to encourage open-mindedness and acceptance of others. We can't completely control the world views that they develop, but we can at least hope to make a dent in it.

----------------------------
* What need is a TV show, like Will and Grace, to depict us in a sympathetic light, as that show did for gays. I propose the new show be titled: Will & Grace. In the new version, Will and Grace are the same person.

[sensui]

i always play dress up whenever my wife goes out to the store or something leaving me at home with my two yr old daughter. she always runs around saying "daddy's a princess" so that makes me feel good but she is definately too young to understand fully, plus i gotta tell my wife before i can tell anyone else really....

[Rachelakld]

3 of my girls are mature enough not to tell anyone of my interest so they have seen and helped me.

The oldest has ties to her bio-father, who would love to wreck my wifes life, and while she bought me tights for Christmas and calls me the girl of the house and has seen some clothes that she says "mum would never wear", I'm still not officially out with her.

The draw back to being out with daughters, is they raid my clothes and makeup, plus side is I also raid theirs.

[PretzelGirl]

Both of my girls know and I need to tell my son. He is across the country and that has been the big delay. When I told my oldest, she came over and hugged me and said she loved me no matter how I dressed. My youngest just stared to a blank wall because she was just a bit sick. But she immediately started coming in the house every day after going "Ohhhh Suueeeeeee". Thankfully as much acceptance there was in that, it didn't last long. I still visit her and her family as Sue now.

[seemlessph]

I met my beautiful wife who had 3 children. When I lived on my own, I was able to dress as often as I liked but when we all moved in together my clothes we hidden in the attic. Nearly 18 years later I am now able to dress more often but still not able to be out in the open. Its nice having a bit more privacy now that the kids are grown. I never felt the need to share that intimate secret with the kids.

[erica12b]

there are not a lot of good stories with the kids , its like discconected acceptance.

[Chrissy52]

My kids and grandkids have no need to know about my cd side. I will not be the one to ring that bell.

[darla_g]

There have been some very opinionated threads on this topic. I think everyone can have their own idea of how to handle this question that works for them.

I do not dress around my children (who are still at home) and so there is no need to tell them anything about it. I would guess by now they have seen some of my stuff (clothing, shoes etc) but they haven't brought anything up although i would guess they have suspicions.

[Princess Grandpa]

I have only been dressing a short time. Less than a year. Within the first month my grown son walked in on me dressed up. A month or so later my grown daughter noticed my heels. These were very emotional events for me and are documented on these pages if you would like to read them. I am a bit long winded so I don't think its wise to repost the stories. *giggle*. I do think they are worth reading. But of course I'm biased

Hug
Rita

[erica12b]

we all are biased , its just how we all look at something right then and there , the next day it can be totally deferent

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Erica, I see no need to dump this on my grown daughters.

[wantstocrossdress]

makes me wanna ask if the fathers out there who CD would like/don't want/wouldn't mind their sons to CD too.

[KayleeTaylor]

My daughter knows and fully accepts me. The only reason that she knows is because I am trasitioning, if it wasn't for that reason, I would have kept it a secret. There is no need to have your children carry that burden if you are a closet CD or if you do not want to be outed. Right now I am thinking about what my daughter's friends are going to say? Is she going to be bullied? Will other parents think I am a sexual predator? So many unknowns right now, but what is done is done and there is no going back.

[Glenda58]

My Xwife told my daughters when they were teenagers one didn't like me the younger didn't care. Now I have grandkids my daughters like me and I do things with them.