Accepting the fact that I am accepted

[bas1985]

Hi,

I am in the last weeks before the final decision of the gatekeepers about my case. I have 3 scheduled appointments with the psychiatric between February and March, and if all is OK, they will decide about my case on the end of March.

This means, given the usual Italian slowness, that I may start HRT on May.

...

But the real fact is that I have already come out to all my friends, male and female... and, apart from one-two exceptions, they are "on my side".

Yesterday I have had a real glimpse of acceptance that I really want to share.

I went to take a coffee to a friend of mine, she is separated, and is with another
man since this summer. She is 42 and she has a boy from the previous marriage.
We chatted a bit and then she announced me that she was pregnant again.
I was one of her first friends to know, she has done the test only one week ago.

She said that she wanted ME to know this before even some her cis-female friends,
because she feared the reactions (what? A child? At your age? After too short
time?) but she knew that I understand her. And that was.

I totally understood her desire for a child (we talked about that some time before)
as she totally understands my desire for being a woman.

---

in the afternoon I saw also a male friend for the first time as "she", I had only
sent to him a mail about my transition. We chatted a bit, he did not feared
to walk with me in the streets while I was in "girl-mode" (not too much girly
LOL it is COLD, but nevertheless in girl mode) and he said in the end:

"I must admit I was scared to see you, but now I understand that you are the same, my old friend has not disappeared, you have changed outside, but that's all"

He also apologized about misgendering me, he said that it will be difficult to think me as female after 30 years, we know each other since the 80s as boy scouts :)

I answered no problem, I understand.

Well...

I am know accepting the fact that my transition is accepted. More than accepted, welcomed. My friend yesterday has said to me: "I prefer you now, you as a guy were... strange, now you look much more 'whole', relaxed, at ease.".

[Persephone]

Beautiful inspiring post, Bas!

Good spouses and friends are the most wonderful gift in all the world. I have been amazed by the acceptance my friends have shown. After too many years of living in the shadows it is their love that can let you live in the light.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Rachel Smith]

I think we, me included, worry too much about NOT being accepted that when it happens we are bewildered by our friends. I have lost some but when I think about it they weren't all that great of a friends before I transitioned. Still it does feel nice to know that someone cares more about what's inside the box then the packaging.

[vikki2020]

Great to hear all the positive outcomes. It really makes things easier when our close friends can be accepting----which is why they are our close friends. I'm starting slowly, but, 4 for 4,so far!

[Rianna Humble]

I think we all worry whether we are going to be accepted by those we have known for a long time.

So far my friends and colleagues have surprised me pleasantly by how well they have accepted me.

I'm really glad that your friends are showing how much they value your friendship and how much stronger that is than any physical changes in your life.

[Nigella]

I also think that acceptance has a lot to do with our attitude. I have been totally open about my transition, available to answer any questions and that has put people at ease. There is still and, IMO always will be in my case, misgendering, mis-pronouning (sp) etc, but none of it has been deliberate, it is as a result of conditioning and past experiences.

[bas1985]

yes, this is also a thing I notice on myself. LOL... if I think about all the effort I made into hiding my crossdressing in my teens :), now I open admit it, I spoke with friends who knew me as a child and there is not shame about it, they understand. Probably if I came out publicly then things may have been different, but that's what it is. Now I am totally open, I speak about myself, my "strange" experience, and I usually am returned comprehension and support.