Did you start CDing before or after your relationship?

[Vanessa Rose]

Reading a lot of posts here. After doing such, my take-a-way was that many knew of a desire for wearing women's clothes early on in their childhood and know and begin buying and dressing in women's clothes BEFORE most formed relationships.

Secondly, if this is so, and you were not in a relationship today, would you go into a relationship today not telling your partner about your CDing?

I realize there is a wide spectrum of possible responses but was wondering if you can share your experience

Vanny

[Teresa]

Hi Vanny,
My CDing really kicked in with an early relationship with the girl next door at 8-10 years old and it just carried on. I then had two GFs that didn't mind until I married at 22 and now I'm in a DADT relationship, she knows and has seen me a couple of times. I don't want my marriage to end but the DADT has got to be sorted, I've given enough to everyone else, now I want a little bit back.

[Marcelle]

Hi Vanny,

Prepare yourself for this one as the camp is really divided and this thread may get locked before long . . . just a heads up.

Myself, I knew I was different at a young age as I always wondered why I could not wear my sister's pretty things. As I was growing up through my teens, I like many, used lingerie to experiment with self-gratification but never dressed. When I was 17, new in the military and posted to Germany, my first sexual partner . . . a gal who was shall we say "out there", convinced me to dress up as a girl (I made a much prettier girl then) so we would go out on a date (sexual role playing). Of course I said "no way" but internally I was screaming "yes". So I reluctantly (not really) let her dress me up and out we went. That night was shall we say . . . quite fun. The next day I woke up, smudged make-up, panties, bra looked in the mirror . . .freaked and never did it again. That was 32 years ago. Did I think about it . . . yes. Did I act on it no . . . but repressed until coming out to my wife of 24 years last year. So some here will say I lied to my wife by not owning up to the fact that I had CD tendencies or thoughts but heck, I wasn't even sure what was going on. I got busy with life, marriage, career and only after my time on deployed military operations seeing people I know die without fully living their lives did I know I had to come clean and be who I was meant to be . . . luckily for me it went well.

If I was starting out today and was CD and knew would I tell a prospective partner? Probably. However, I think I would wait to see if the relationship developed and then tell her before it got too serious. Obviously coming out on your first date would not be a wise course of action "I like your shoes and dress . . . BTW I have the same dress . . . want to go shopping some day?" I think attitudes are different today and people are more accepting 32 years ago . . . not a chance.

Hugs

Isha

[Anna H]

Teresa...I admire your answer greatly!

Mine own...my doing...began about 8, so i didn't have a relationship.
I knew i was a little strange so i always kept it to myself and didn't
tell my girlfriends. i didn't have problems with it myself, but i was pretty
sure others would....via very subtle hints.

Once i resigned myself to being without a "girlfriend" for the foreseeable
future, a friend (who was a girl) became someone i did trust. So that
turned into 25 years now with her.

Odd that once i quit "trying" to have a serious relationship....one fell into
my lap. (I did try and try and try before then, though!)

:happy:

[iGenny]

I started dressing long, long after my marriage - more than 25 years after we started dating. Had I been dressing way back then, I would have told her long before we were engaged.

[Steph_CD_62]

Even though I discovered women's clothing early in life, around 9 or 10 it wasn't until later in life (late 20's) that I started dressing.
It was during my 1st marriage that I discovered I enjoyed wearing women's clothing and I have looked back.
Before I got into a relationship with my current wife I told her who I was and what I enjoyed.
I figured if it was meant to be she would accept me for who I am.

[Kristy 56]

I definitely would. First of all, I no longer believe it's wrong,and I'd want someone to sccept me for what I am. However,for now I'm happily married in a DADT relationship which isn't too bad a compromise. My wife didn't know for over 30 yrs.

[StephanieStevens]

For me the desire started young as well, and trying to hide clothes as a teenager from the adults was a chore lol

As far as communicating it with future a partner, i'd almost have to think you'd have to. Once again going back to clothing...at some point in time this side of me would be discovered so why take the chance on wasting time in a relationship which still has big secrets..?..

[heatherdress]

I had never crossdressed before I met my wife. Actually, she led me to this discovery and has supported my crossdressing development.


My recommendation to someone who crossdressed before beginning a relationship - you think I need to tell her. It should not be the first thing you share unless you want to send the message that crossdressing is going to be more important than she will be. But it needs to be early in a relationship.

[kimdl93]

Long, long, long...did I say long, before.

[Beverley Sims]

A looong way before the present relationship.

[Erica Anne]

Define start crossdressing: would that imply voluntary or involuntary? I was born premature, well guess what, my mother dressed me in doll clothes since that is all she could find that would fit. The only reason why I know this, at an early age due to voluntary dressing, my parents found me sleeping in my sisters underwear. Also before that, My sister used to dress me up in her clothes and that usually resulted in punishment for both of us. Since I had two resources of woman's clothes at my disposal, I would have to say I started dressing prior to reaching the age of puberty. I did not buy my own clothes until after the start of a relationship.

[chrissy111]

A long time before!!!

[Sallee]

I started way before my relationship. But my SO knew way before we got married. But only because she found my stash of cloths and asked. I answered truthfully for the most part. That was way back then we went out together mostly to SD functions. So she was accepting for a long time but over the years she has decided wants no partof it. She still knows I dress but the relationship is a DADT. Which fine for the most part but I would love to be a little more open about it and I guess I could be but why push the issue. We'll see how the relation ship develops over the next 30 yrs of marriage the first 30 seemed to work ok for the most part.

[Tina B.]

I was wearing what ever I could get my hands on at around 6 or younger. Stopped doing it in my late teens thought young adulthood, didn't tell either wife before marriage, because I had convinced myself I had cured myself each time, because I had quit, and hadn't even thought about it in ages.
It seems for me when I'm not around women, I become an Alpha male, and between service, and then working in an all male trade, I stayed pretty macho.
but when I spend time around women, my female side wants to come out and play, I enjoy the company of women, the things they talk about interest me more than what the guys talk about. If I ever had to do it again, which is not likely, yes I would tell up front, I've come to realize, I can't cure myself, and at this point in life, I really don't want to be cured anymore, I don't even feel sick.
I told my second wife before I started wearing women's clothes again, because I won't life a lie in my own home, there is enough I hide from the world, but not in my home, and you can't be sure how a women will react when told a thing like this, best to find out while the investment is still minor.

[Jenniferathome]

I have been a cross dresser since I was about 7. Since tellingmy wife, I am still the same cross dresser I was before telling her. If for some reason I found myself in another relationship (death being the only way this could happen) I would tell that woman.

[Rachel292]

As other have said CDing came first. i've not been in a relationship for about 15 years, but I'd like to think that I'd tell before the relationship went too far. You can't keep secrets in a serious relationship.

[Emma.M]

Well I CD'd from an early-ish age, so yes I did CD before my current relationship.
And secondly I'm not really sure as I've only ever told one person and that's my current SO, but she is really open minded and I felt I could fully trust her (and just in case you are wondering she is really accepting of it :D). So if I went into a relationship today and the person matched the same criteria, I probably would tell them.

[Jaylyn]

I suppose if you count my first trip home from the hospital from being born which is a very early age then yes I began before my relationship. Unless you count nursing my mom who wanted a girl so bad for her first child. She actually had sewn many dresses for me before my birth and she was gonna make me wear them all before dad finally put a stop to it..... She would sneak around him and paint my nails and toes from time to time around the age of 3-6. When I started hanging with some boys in elementary school I wouldn't have anything to do with girly stuff but it started back at about thirteen or so of me looking at the Sears, Montgomery Ward, or Anthony's catalogue's. I then started sneaking into moms under garments. Especially slips, panties. Girdles and hose. Then at 21 I met the love of my life and gradually after she fell in love with me. We married and she knew what she was getting into. We now are in our sixties and still in love and she is very supportive of all my hobbies including dressing. I count my blessings daily...