One step at a time...

[Nichole_31]

So to all of you girls:

I just married the most beautiful lady (GG). She has put up with a lot given my current job. She knows that I like to wear pantyhose, tights and that I shave my legs. I struggle with the inner struggle of wanting to tell her about my desires of CDing. I just don't want to push the envelope to much to fast. I have a chest full of my feme clothes hidden in the attic and part of me doesn't mind if she discovers this cause that will let the cat out of that bag but I do not want to lose her. I'm afraid that this will be to much given she still doesn't like to see me in a nice pair of pantyhose just walking around the house. We are talking about starting a family...the thought of starting a family and then her finding out and wanting to leave me cause of my CDing kills me knowing that another innocent life is involved. What should I do? I love CDing and as for all of us...its a big part of who I am, but its night and day from who I am in boy mode. I'm so confused as a lot of us are...she had sacrificed so much for what I do, Im not sure I can ask her to accept this at this time in our new marriage. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Rachelakld]

Hi Nichole,
For me, some things should be discussed before the ring goes on.

Imagine if, in the future you have adorable children aged about 3 or 4.
Your wife find out these years have been a lie.
She kicks you out of the house and takes the kids.

Maybe you try purging and keeping away from CDing - it will most likely rip you up from within and destroy your marriage.

If you tell her now - yes you may lose her, if you tell her in 10 years you may lose house, kids and 10 years of your life (or maybe she will be more accepting at that stage of her life).

My personal thoughts, are if you love someone you should tell them about who you are.
Again, personally (now your married), I would ask her nicely for permission to wear skirts, bra etc at home, and if yes, get her flowers and treat her to a lovely dinner out and tell her again how much you love her and be the man. If no, something will probably snap latter in your life

Best advice - do not take advice from strangers on the internet

[kimdl93]

Look, she already know that you're a crossdresser, right. What remains unspoken is a matter of degree. I would strongly suggest that you clarify your thoughts and begin a conversation about where CDing fits into your life and into the marriage. If she discovers the box, you've hidden something from her. If you tell her about yourself, it's a demonstration of your trust and concern. Go with the latter.

[Helen Grandeis]

Be sure that you are a value added husband and that she knows by your other actions how much you love her!

In that context tell her.

[Patty-Fay]

She knows you like to wear pantyhose and that you shave your legs. Leverage that, and test the water. "I wonder how I'd look...if I had boobs...in a dress...with makeup." If she accepts any of this, enlist her help. If she is accepting, you're home free. If she acts like you're crazy for suggesting it, then lay low.

[Beverley Sims]

I agree the big reveal will have to come sooner than later.
Patty's post has good advice for you and I would support that.
Above all, do not push it too fast.

[Ellie52]

Nicole - I am known for speaking my mind and what Im going to say will may make you think HARD.

1) An exercise -Sit down and forget about you, and think about this from your wife's point of view only.
2) Do you just want to wear just pantyhose or Breast forms and a wig?
3) How would you feel if your wife walked around with a strap on penis (Female equivalent of the Breast forms and a stick on mustache (Wig)?
4) How far do you want to go with your dressing at present (The desire will get more the older you get)
5) If you have kids the problems can escalate due to stress but also because your ability to dress will be severely cramped.

Once you answer the tough questions you'll come to a decision, then sit down and think it all through again from your side.
Only you know your wife and how she'll react so we cannot tell you what to do.

One thing to note is this desire will never go away completely but you may be able to tame it for a while. Will it be enough to tame it for a while? If it isn't then you need to tell your wife because a relationship built on deceit is no relationship at all.
Xdressing is like an addiction, its with you for life and you have to live with it.
You can fight it but you wont win as it will always be there but you can tame it the same way an alcoholic can live with his/her addiction...Ellie

You need Isha on this one