How did you come out to others?

[caryli]

The only people who know I cross dress have been my 3 wifes and a few girlfriends. If you have let others know you cross dress how did you tell them?

[Adriana Moretti]

I just had a few drinks and blurred it out accidentally..."oops"...only to my gal pals though...i would never tell the alpha boys BE CAREFUL there.

[meganmartin]

Well my wife found a link on my computer how to apply eye makeup.
Then i had to tell her.

I have told a few here and there but nobody within my family knows.

[Dianne S]

I just took some deep breaths and then told my then-fiancee. I was extremely nervous, but she seemed to take it quite well. For a while, she was supportive and even somewhat enthusiastic, but it all went downhill from there. Now my wife doesn't like my CDing at all and it's DADT.

[kimdl93]

Just like that...telling them in a straight forward manner.

[Vanessa Rose]

Caryli,


Just told her at a moment that seemed right.... I swallowed hard, and the words came out... and she knew simple as that


Well if you told your three wives, then we know the entire English speaking world knows now don't we (double wink).


Not a alpha pack member knows and likely will not, ever..


Vanny

[Andi1979]

I have only truly come out to a gal-pal. We are very close. She is very open and I had been hinting things for quite a while. We were chatting online one nite and after too much wine, it all spilled out. She bought me the cutest bra for Christmas and we are going shopping next month....

[PretzelGirl]

I tried nothing too fancy with anyone I came out. Just sitting down to have a conversation and then let it flow in easily. My oldest daughter says I dwell on the "spectrum" too much. :heehee:

[DorothyElizabeth]

I have only let a few people know. Interestingly all but two of them are women. The two men who know are married to each other. One of them calls himself a "flamer"; the other is very low-profile about his sexuality. Ted - the more flamboyant of the two - was not accepting at all. His partner, Todd, was openly accepting, and said it didn't make any difference to him how I dressed. I told them one evening after a show, in which Ted and I had been playing in the pit orchestra together. We all went out to get breakfast, and I told them over coffee. Of the women who know, one was a woman with whom I had a two year affair. She saw dresses in my closet, and asked. She thought it was great, and encoufraged me to dress however I wanted. Tow of the other women were people whom I dated for a while. I told both of them before we even met for the first date. I simply said that I thought they should know, and asked how they would like me to present on our first date. One of them wanted me "dressed" the other preferred me to wear "man clothes". The third woman who knows is a very dear friend, who happens to be a lesbian. She had not come out, but one night we were sitting together in a bar, and I said I had a secret for her. She replied that she had one for me, too. So I said, "You're going to tell me you prefer women, right?" She laughed and said, "Busted. And you're a dresser, aren't you?" We laughed, hugged, and clinked glasses together. And it was funny, because then we both asked, in unison, "How did you know?" As I said, she is a very dear friend.

[caryli]

Well I was worried about coming out to my roommates as I have met a very lovely transgendered female. They caught the 2 of us today and instead of being shocked they told me it was a fantasy of theirs to have a male with the husband. And joined us for a afternoon of fun. Now I can once I get some new outfits run around the house dressed as a woman again.

[Ineke Vashon]

Two years ago, during an evening conversation about relations between men and women with my then girlfriend I casually mentioned that I felt I had a stronger than average feminine side to me. No more than asking for another cup of coffee. She did not react surprised or anything. I probably could have gone further in due time but we broke up for other reasons. Shortly afterwards I introduced myself to this forum, acknowledging to myself that my feminine side was for real.

Ineke

[KayleeTaylor]

Well I was worried about coming out to my roommates as I have met a very lovely transgendered female. They caught the 2 of us today and instead of being shocked they told me it was a fantasy of theirs to have a male with the husband. And joined us for a afternoon of fun. Now I can once I get some new outfits run around the house dressed as a woman again.

This makes me sad. The objectification of us continues because of people like you - you were used as a fantasy.

[Beverley Sims]

I didn't come out at all...
I was dressed up and taken out....
The rest was a course of history and natural events.

[Sabrina133]

So many people to tell, so little time:

Mty first serious boyfriend. TOld him after we dated a few times. while he was neutral about it, he came to loathe it. He told me that had he wanted to date a woman, he would have gone out with one. Hurt me to the core. It caused our breakup - well that and the fact that he betrayed me.

Met my current SO and fiance when i was en femme at a party - no, it wasn't a halloween party.

My parents when i left the army and went to law school. Realized that dressing and being femme was more than lark. My mom and older sister accepted right away (my mom's words - "well i was wondering when you were going to realize it"). My younger sister still doesnt talk to me. It took my dad a year to come to terms with it. He's walking me down the aisle on June 14th.

People at work - my assistant asked me if I dressed a few months after i came to work for my firm. I told her that i did dress. She said she guessed about two weeks after i started working (the eyebrows, pierced ears and the fact that i recognized shoe styles and designers gave me away). She did not tell my co-workers although the partners knew. It was a reason why i left the east coast can came to the mid west. I came out to the full staff when i went full time - no issues.




.

[ClaudineD]

Actually, it was more my sisters, Aunt waiting for me to be declarative about my needs at age 15. Remember well my Aunt Claudine, from whom I have taken as a name, just said one day "Honey...use your words to tell us what you want"..... My mother, a bit Bohemian in lifestyle, later just said "why not!!! It makes it so much easier to have three daughters"...... Even conservative father was accepting (the influence of my mother) surprised the hell out of me...so I had it pretty easy being surrounded by people who knew...but waited for me to state the obvious.....

[bridget thronton]

Only told people who cared about - everyone else is left to their speculations

[natcrys]

I would say.. every time I came out to friends.. it pretty much followed the same procedure.

1) I waited until I was pretty sure this friend (or these friends) could handle such news.

2) I would let them know that I would like talk with them about something personal. These days, I also make sure to let them know that it's not bad news (like an incurable disease). Location and atmosphere is also important.. either at my place or at their place, usually in the evening.. after dinner.

3) Then, I just say that I am a crossdresser and let it sink in. After that, I tell them briefly my personal history.. from age 4 until now.

4) I make sure that they know they can ask me anything if they want. :)

This has always worked for me. Now I must add, the majority of my friends are well educated and mostly liberal.. I guess this helps as well! YMMV :)

[MsVal]

My wife and I are very close. Because of that closeness it troubled me a great deal to keep my desire to crossdress a secret. I did a bunch of homework, on this forum and other places, and came to the conclusion that the compulsion to crossdress isn't going to just go away by itself. I felt obligated to make a full disclosure. I One evening I simply told her.

There were some tears, some disappointment, and even some harsh words. It sparked a pretty difficult couple of days, but our love is stronger than that. She is aware of my desires and my effort to keep it under control, and loves me anyhow. And I love her too.

Best wishes
MsVal

[DorothyElizabeth]

This makes me sad. The objectification of us continues because of people like you - you were used as a fantasy.
I agree. While an individual may realize she (or he - whichever you prefer) is being objectified and used to fulfill a fantasy and may be okay with that, it really does do the rest of the community a disservice.

[TrishaMarie]

I recently came out to 2 people, my assistant, she and I are very close and one day we were talking about skeletons in our closets. She said there wasn't anything that I could have in mine that would make her not like me, so I asked what she thought mine could be, she had me in 2 guesses. Since then she has been very accepting and become even a better friend. Then just last week, I was riding to the mechanic with a good friend of my wife and mine and I asked her if there was anything that she could think of that would make her not like me and she said no. So I told her and since then she has offered to take me to a local surplus store that sells lots of plus sizes. It has been very validating to be able to come a little out of the darkness and see the light of friendship and acceptance.