how many friends have you lost because of CDing

[mykell]

seems as though through the years many who heard a rumor or suspected things were different of me often faded in my social circle, (just came out to mrs.)
now-a-days that reflects on family friends also, we have little to none.
so not thinking they were real friends if they could not tolerate me but i cant help but feel responsibility for the family not having any reasonable amount of family friends as i was the variable,
i know their may be other reasons (Maybe i am a butthead) but i know most were because of CDing,
overheard enough comments in social situations....

[CamillaCD]

None that I know of.

[Lorileah]

trite answer. If they quit being my friend over that, they were never really my friend So none

[Adriana Moretti]

none...i only told the gals....i would NEVER tell my guy friends...WAY to much Alpha Dog going on for that...

[Nadine Spirit]

None.

But speaking of friends have you ever read statistical reports of the changeover of friends in the average persons lifetime? It is pretty amazing how many friends come and go in most people's lives.

[queenie]

none...i only told the gals....i would NEVER tell my guy friends...WAY to much Alpha Dog going on for that...

I'm totally the same way. I have some guy friends that I met while dressed or learning how to do makeup, but the ones that exist outside this world I won't talk to them about it. I have quite a few gal pals that know I do it, though.

[Beverley Sims]

Mikell,
None, I don't tell them. :)

[winci]

None, because only my wife and children have seen me CDing. Nobody else has.

[PretzelGirl]

So far I haven't lost anyone. Friend, family, foe, rock, whatever. None, notta. Rule #1, if you think it is okay, they will think it is okay.

[Kate Simmons]

If people don't like you for who you are, it's their problem, not yours Hon.:)

[Annaliese]

None, if them don't accept me then they were not friend in the first place

[Steph_CD_62]

I have lost one friend over my CDing. Was at the bar with him for his birthday, and out of the blue he made a statement that startled me.
He said that a mutual acquaintance of ours told him that my EX-wife told him that I enjoyed wearing women's clothing. I didn't deny or admit to it and the night continued on. I figured that he would assume that the EX-wife was spreading bad rumors about me.
I tried to call him a few times after that night and only got his voice mail. After leaving 3 or 4 messages, I figured that I had lost a friend (and my daughter's god-father) for good.
But then I figured if he didn't want to associate with me because of my CDing, then he wasn't really a friend to begin with.

[heatherdress]

trite answer. If they quit being my friend over that, they were never really my friend So none

Great response. Thanks Lorileah.

Also, all the other responses too. I also respond - none.

[Marcelle]

I have lost one really good friend due to his inability to process Isha from "boy me". He is the closest I will ever have to a brother and it hurt to loose his friendship. However, I do keep in touch with his wife (also a dear friend) and she has indicated he is starting to soften . . . I guess we will see.

Other than him, I have lost none and I am out to quite a few people.

Hugs

Isha

[heatherdress]

seems as though through the years many who heard a rumor or suspected things were different of me often faded in my social circle, (just came out to mrs.)
now-a-days that reflects on family friends also, we have little to none.
so not thinking they were real friends if they could not tolerate me but i cant help but feel responsibility for the family not having any reasonable amount of family friends as i was the variable,
i know their may be other reasons (Maybe i am a butthead) but i know most were because of CDing,
overheard enough comments in social situations....

Mikell - it is not unusually for friends and acquaintances to fade with time, regardless of your crossdressing.

I do understand that I might have met some new friends if I did not crossdress and if I had spent more time in my old strictly male activities. But I also have met some wonderful friends as Heather who I never would have if I was not Heather.

[jane]

If you have some true friends, more like "bro", they'll stay with you no matter what. Thoses who leave aren't real friends and can be replaced with new friends that share the same interest as you

[Vanessa Rose]

None... but the other side of the equation is that I have told no one, because at this point, they did not need to know..


Vanny

[sandra-leigh]

None that I know of so far There have been people who have drifted out of my life with it being plausible that my gender identity had something to do with it, but it could also be that I was not as close to them as I thought I was.

I anticipate losing one (or possibly two) specific way-way back friends when I come out publicly, but since I have lived away from there for more than 20 years, their life went on without me.

[reb.femme]

Hi Mikell,

I think the term friend is much over used, whereas the word acquaintance is probably more appropriate for the many people we know. Sort of comparable to the fact everyone is an engineer these days instead of an installer, a fitter or a technician.

Some people cannot assimilate our kind of information into their life and accept as is, as in Isha's case. A real blood brother in war by all accounts but cannot as yet support his friend. Sometimes life is a bitch. I know rejection hurts only too well, but dust yourself down, pull your hose (socks) up and crack on full steam ahead. No-one will support me more than me, therefore I am my own Standard Bearer.

Rebecca

[Jenniferathome]

Your friends heard you were a cross dresser but your wife did not? How'd that work?

[Vanessa5]

Uhh...I never had any friends, because I crossdressed. The torment of just thinking if they found out, and then the inner demons always telling me unkind things kind of made me a loner.

[natcrys]

That's a very simple answer: Ø

All my best friends, good friends and friends of friends have been totally cool with it (over 50 people). :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mikell, None only my wife knows and she's not all that happy about it.

[LenGray]

I haven't lost any friends over my CDing because most of them are aware that I did it in the past and the rest just shrug and decide that I'm a bit 'odd'. To be honest, my cross dressing is comparatively normal when weighed against how I act most of the time, which helps quite a bit =^-^= lol

As far as my family goes, I lost them a LONG time ago, once I refused to change myself and started dating not only men, but women too. After the hijinks I've pulled throughout the years, they even pulled me from the family genealogy lol

All in all, I see it as if they can't accept me, then they didn't deserve to know me in the first place.

You live, you learn, you get Luvs....just maybe not from the people you were expecting. :)

[Leslie Langford]

If the person was a "good" friend to begin with, then coming out as a CDer - while perhaps difficult for them to process initially - should not have a lasting impact on the friendship if it was deep enough in the first place.

Someone once defined the difference between a "friend" and a "good friend" as follows:

A friend helps you move; a good friend helps you move a body. ;)

I think the analogy is apt here...

[Requal Jo]

None, because only my wife knows. However, we are all the same person inside, just wearing different clothing and appearance. None of our character traits change nor do our world views. So why is it difficult for others to accept this?

[mykell]

Your friends heard you were a cross dresser but your wife did not? How'd that work?
jen, i dont know, rumors, innuendo, not sure i never divulged to anyone, but my family i was sure did,
my sons godfather i believe was one of them who assumed,
yet when i revealed to my wife i expected the worst and was hoping for the good Jennifer type,
"honey ive known for some time", nope, DADT, didn't think i was that good hiding it ??

[busker]

Kate, that is an answer that is a bit too facile and has been trotted out seemingly without thought about its consequences on a real lving person. It doesn't help to say, well, up theirs if they don't like who I am. We all have need of various forms of social "friendship" and if every person feels that it is someone else's problem, they are still not going to be happy campers. I'm not sure how that can change except though some phenomenal media campaign to show that transgendered people are not "horrible" people. No man/woman is an island and a lonely life is not only a sad life, but those around one have to suffer as well. just a thought.

[rachel_rachel]

I'm not sure if I so much lost and friends over my crossdressing, I did get outed at my cricket club though.. I was forced into walking away from there as a consequence, so therefore I don't talk to people from around there much if at all now... Not my loss.

[Jocee]

None that I am aware of, and in fact I've gained a number of close friends whom shared a common bond. Nothing like a couple of guys having a beer after work, discussing the emotional benefits of a mani/pedi and our favorite Opi nail colors.

[Tiffanie]

My wife and I had quite a few friends before we all started getting married and having a family. Everyone that knows of my dressing is still in my life outside of a few ex-girlfriends. My best friend since childhood, who is a male, has seen me dressed and didn't care. He's great. His wife actually helped me with makeup once before I started dating my wife.