besides the dress, how much of a woman are you? (also my first thread

[sonialexis]

i'm in my 30s and i have a steady gf, she kind of knows i dress, i'm all man to her but i also help her chose clothes to wear, suggest make up, i go shop with her and i have good taste.
the other thing is i was always teased in school i would always would try being a boy, wasn't obviously effeminate but girls teased me and thought i was gay, boys would squeeze me and kiss me, i have small hands and feet, no adams apple, week chin, full lips, slender legs, narrow shoulders with slightly larger hips. i wonder if this was all programmed with the 'crossdressing chip' or is it some wicked coincedence, how does it work? lack of testosterone?.
i am also emotional, highly sensitive, love indoors, art and i just love everything feminine without actually attaching my crossdressing self to it.
would love to hear from the other gurls.

kisses

[Saikotsu]

I'm a bit of an unusual case, but I'm both Adam and Adyson, equal parts guy and girl. My female side isn't that effeminate though, shes closer to a tomboy (though she has her girly moments). Body wise, I'm very masculine. I've got the male build and an eternal five o clock shadow. But my body has little to do with my identity. When I dress, I'm still me, I just am presenting differently. That said, my mannerisms don't really change, just my internal sense of self. Hope that answers your question.

[PaulaQ]

Welcome to the forum Sonialexis. If you are interested in cross dressing, then those physical attributes you list make you LUCKY for sure. Many of us would kill to have those attributes! It's possible that during your youth you suffered some hormonal imbalance, or perhaps you've always had a mild and undiagnosed intersex condition, or even that it was just the luck of the draw. But somehow I doubt "luck" - it seems like a number of systems in your body were under masculinized, including your brain potentially.

Unfortunately, we'll probably never really know the answer to this, mostly because science doesn't actually give a crap about this stuff. :(

Oh, to answer your original post, I'm 99.9% woman - at least inside my head and when my hormones are right. My body is a way different story, and rather than assign a percentage, I think it's just more accurate to describe myself as a "grab bag of gender fun."

[sami1952]

you just descript me to the T.as a kid i always wanting to be with the girls,felt more comfortable around them.

[Christen]

Hi Sonialexis,
I believe we are all (not just us) a bit female, a bit male. For some of us the mix is different to others. I don't know how it works but I don't think it's testosterone. Mine was checked as part of a medical, I was a bit anxious to see the results, but everything was at normal levels. I've spent many moments in the past wishing I could have been born a girl, but in the end I'm not. I love pretending to be one, love the clothes, scents, movement, etc. I adore women, just gets a bit tricky when I want to try on her outfit rather than chat her up or whisk her off to bed.
I know I've got a fair bit of girl in me, crossdressing just allows me to express that. Even if that's only in the closet.

Christen X

[Adriana Moretti]

Yea it is like a 50/50 kinda thing....I can only be one person...and I am ok with me...it does lean heavy to one side though like the tower of pisa...

[teri g]

You're asking the million dollar question that most of us here would like to have an answer to. While anecdotal evidence would suggest that there are some who've become cd as a result of hormonal imbalance and others as a result of upbringing, it seems that a large percentage (majority?) of us feel that it's a mental hard-wiring phenomenon. I include myself in the group of members who developed with a full complement of male characteristics yet have this attraction to the wearing of feminine clothing. Believe me, in those early years I tormented myself trying to figure out what it was in my childhood that lead me down this path but came up with nothing. I just don't think you're going to find a definitive answer to your question because you'll soon learn that it's been asked many times, in many ways and for many years.

[PaulaQ]

it seems that a large percentage (majority?) of us feel that it's a mental hard-wiring phenomenon.

I believe this myself, based on a couple of pieces of evidence:
1. NO psychological drug, technique, or therapy has been shown effective at eliminating cross gender expression in either CDs or trans persons.
2. For trans people, their gender dysphoria is NOT managed with anti-depressants and other psychiatric pharmaceuticals, but with physical medicines like hormones, and surgeries.

The best, and most believable idea to my way of thinking is that gender identity, like sexual orientation, is an indelible part of the architecture of your mind, and short of destroying your brain physically, there is no way to alter it.

[Kate Simmons]

I am who I am Hon. How I'm perceived by others is in the eye of the beholder.:)

[Vickie_CDTV]

Really, boys kissed you??

I am a TV, but I am built like a linebacker, have big feet and some of the largest calf muscles you will ever see. No one has ever mistook me en drab for a woman, and I have been told many times by folks I have told they had no idea because I am not "femmy looking." Growing up, I was never accused of being effeminate or gay, but inside I was too "soft" for the girls to be interested in me... some things don't change sadly.

[sonialexis]

it's warmly comforting to hear from you gurls as i have tormented myself with this issue and you all put it so nicely. i've come across a few and most who emphasis on being happy regardless. I guess that is something I need to work on and believe me when I'm all dressed, I'm glad my appearance helps in the whole illusion but at times I feel inadequate and feel the need to man up. I've tried the gym and I put on muscle very slow I injured my back trying to get there to quickly.
i remember once i was with two of my friends we were still in school, they were the athletic kind, typical strong men. they came up with an idea to completely strip and get wet in the rain, i didn't like the idea. it was very strange being so self conscious of my body with my 'best freinds', i actually turned the other way and they were just so free and themselves i was dying inside. lol funtimes

[sonialexis]

Really, boys kissed you??

yes believe me it was in school of course. they would blow me kisses or just do it holding my face or they would say give me a kiss. i hated it. it was horsing around mostly but it happened a lot till I was about 21.

[Katey888]

What a good first question... :thinking:

Like others here, I agree that this is something that is innate or develops very early - and I think now in some ways, we are gifted with this extra femme perspective (although it doesn't always manifest itself as a gift...) - and it's a powerful part of us that won't go away, but may develop over time.

I don't think you can wholly subscribe loving art to just the feminine aspect of personality, but I do like some art, music, dance - culture, basically. But I crash and burn on sensitivity sometimes - I suppose that's just guy problem solver exerting himself and getting in the way of listening and empathising... Boy, does the wife remind me of that aspect often... So I think the split shifts depending on all sorts of things - but clearly, I've got a fair bit of the eternal feminine in me... :cheer:

And welcome again to the forum - you might want to post a re-intro in the intro section sometime :)

Katey x

[Gardener]

When we are young it is not easy to develop a persona which we are comfortable with. So many external influences and our own developmental journey to negotiate. I always laughed inside when people said childhood was the best time of life! Sadly the legacy of this can be that in later years when we have more choice, this is diminished as we need to break a picture others have of us that has been built up over time. It is hard and painful and many take secrets to their graves. All I can say is that as much as you can be true to your feelings, try not to judge yourself. Enjoy who you are.

[Cassandra86]

I would say I'm 50/50. Idk my male side and female side kinda just mix together. In male form I'm considered very metro. Also in the relationship I'm the one with the fashion sense and usually go shopping with my wife and pick out most of her clothes. Even are girl friends will ask me for makeup and fashion advice before they ask her. And they know nothing about my crossdressing cassandra side. I also tend to notice things on girls that must guys wouldn't, like there nails, how there makeup is done, the heels they wear. Which sometimes raises suspicion too people because when I compliment a girl I say oh I really like your nails, or those heels are great or look his with that dress instead of saying dang you look hot or sexy lol my best friend she jokes around and tells me it's crazy anytime we hang out I have to make sure I look perfect cus if not u would notice She said we could go out and she could have a different color polish on one toe nail and be wearing a closed toed heel and i would still notice. Lol But then again I'm also very tough and very manly and most guys won't cross me and if there's ever a problem I'm usually the first one they call to handle business. I'm also pretty muscular when I cd I usually diet and do a lot of cardio for a couple weeks to tone that down and look more femme. Also because im metro when going out I get hit on by gay guys quite a bit. I dont mind like I said my male me and my cassandra me are all one person..

[Lynn Marie]

Personally I like to think I'm woman enough for any man, and man enough for any woman!

[Amanda M]

It's all part nature and part nurture in my book. I don't think I could be decribed as effeminate in male mode - and I do not use the term in any derogatory way, but I do no that I have beendescreibed as femine in the other mode. Not girly, you understand. Varicose veins are not girly.

Genetically, I am sure I have more of my mother's attributes - hair, smile, build, but we have to go with what we got. I don't know if the fact that she had me when she was 49 would have conytributed to that. At least I still have my hair, unlike my poor Dad who was totally bald at 25. Mind you maybe 4 years in the world war one trenches had something to do with that.

[Angie G]

I fish and hunt all out like a manly man. I love base ball but could care less about football basketball or hockey. I'd rather wear a sskirt then guy pants.I'd rather have my legs and underarms shaved all the time. My hair is long and love to wear lipstick have both ears done for have more heels the my wife does. I'd say I'm 50% woman.:hugs:
Angie

[JazT95]

I have a fairly feminine body I guess; quite large butt and hips and really slim up top. However my interests tend to change depending on what mood I'm in. Sometimes I'm 'all man' and other times I'm the complete opposite, I find it all a bit confusing :/

[Requal Jo]

I too was teased at school and found comfort with the girls. My figure is masculine and my employment and hobby are very masculine activities. When I have Requal time I am Requal and the feelings are comfortable, exciting and completely relaxed. My escape from reality for the short times it gives me.

[Candice Mae]

How much of a woman is this?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bd5C4_2C988

[flatlander_48]

I have always found it interesting that we (society) so readily believe that heterosexuality is hard wired, but we have great difficulty in extending that to any variation. Seems pretty simple to me, yet great resistance continues. Funny how that works.

When I was a kid, I was always fairly thin. When I graduated from college, I was 5'-9 1/2" and 135 pounds. As I did a lot of bike riding when I was young, my butt and thighs were disproportional for males but probably about right for females. Since I had an arthritic ankle with limited movement, I tended to swish a bit. I used to REALLY try not to do that. As a young adult I was frequently asked if I was married and had children. While that was the verbiage, you know what the real question was.

So that was how I was perceived, but what did I think? It always seemed to me like I was working with polar opposites. I have always liked fashion, architecture, interior design and have a fairly decent esthetic sense. On the other hand, I'm a mechanical engineer, a good carpenter, a lifelong motorsports fan and have even driven a couple of race cars (although not competitively). As I began to understand that I was a bisexual and later as a crossdresser, I finally realized that I was all of these seemingly disparate pieces and sometimes I feel one way and other times, quite different. Either way, it is all me.

If I had to guess at a percentage, I would say about 60/40, M/F...

[Beverley Sims]

I am more emotional than some and when I was eighteen I was a 98 lb weakling. :(
My hair was a golden blonde I was fair skinned and looked like a blonde bombshell when dressed, I was able to adapt to this situation easily. :)

[sonialexis]

[QUOTE=Candice Mae;3431227]How much of a woman is this?
[QUOTE]
I'de say that's 99% woman and 1% camera. you look smashing dear.

[Claire Cook]

I agree with Paula's posts. We are what we are. Sonialexis, consider it "gender gifted" -- and it is a gift to have your traits! How many of us wish we had less broad shoulders and wider hips ....