What a Bummer....

[Lee Andrews]

Well for the last few years I have realized my SO is not happy with the cross dressing anymore. Now I know for sure. Had a heated Texting session the other day because she found a few things I bought Lee a few months ago. Not that anything is hidden, it's there front and center in the closet I have set aside for Lee. Knowing she is not happy with it lately I don't tell her if I bought anything. Now this was maybe a hundred bucks at most and that is all I've spent in about 6 months on anything male or female. Must have been a reason to let her feelings be known I guess.
She made it clear she HATES it now and I replied that's why I didn't show off my purchases anymore. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Just so bummed it has gone 180 degrees from the beginning.
Ain't life grand.

[Being Paige]

Maybe it's more about the money spent then the cding! I know my wife hates it when she sees I have something new.

[Requal Jo]

My wife accepts Requal and does not complain when she is present (a big step forward).

However like you Lee she is not comfortable when I buy new clothing. Like you I hang it in the wardrobe with my other clothing and wait for her to comment. I do attempt to hide it and keep everything about Requal in the open. Her comments can be complementary or, "why did you buy that?"

Over time and taking thing slowly my wife is becoming more comfortable and accepting. (If only I could encourage her to join this forum she may achieve a greater understanding).

[Lee Andrews]

No it's not the money, I don't spend like I did years ago on Lee. I have a closet full of stuff. Not much need for more. LOL
I guess it was a way to let me know she is done with CDing. I've suspected it for a few years but till it is said it doesn't hurt as much. No restrictions or anything imposed, just a change for us.

[carhill2mn]

Unfortunately, it is fairly common for SOs to change their feelings and actions re: CDing from time to time. Over a period of years my wife went from trying to accept, assisting a little, to hating, to DADT, to hating, to tolerating. accepting, to hating.

There may be reasons other than the actual CDing behind her actions. If possible, try to find out what might be making her upset. These situtions do make for a stressful relationship which is not good for either of you.

I wish you the best!

[Katey888]

Tough one, Lee. My wife complains if I buy tools... a book... a CD (that's good ole Compact Disc... :)) - and she has no idea how much Katey spends.. (not much actually...)

Hard to tell how much may be a specific gripe about the CD aspect or just the money - depends how much finances might be an issue between you..?

I empathise with the 'damned if you do/ don't' perspective - but aren't relationships just like that sometimes..?

Maybe talk some more... :hugs:

Katey x

[Vanessa Rose]

I guess I don't get it. If my spouse groused about me buying stuff they would be grousing about other things as well. No way. And I put my money where my mouth is and exited a long term relationship because of just that and some other matters. My point being is you can decide what is acceptable and what is not.

My famous line was "you know, I have listened to the last ten things you have said. Each of them was whining and negative. Either change what you are saying because I don't want to hear it or find someone else to say it to and they will say the same thing to you." Her entire demeanor changed and was positive for months after. No the relationship did not make it but

You own your life. Complaining about it does nothing. Doing something about it gives you power and ownership

Sorry. Own it or eat crow every day. And yes I understand but enabling her to continue is a recipe for disaster....YES? Sorry

Vanny

[Tracii G]

Stand up to her and don't worry if she gets mad.
I bet she would do the same thing if things were reversed.

[Maria 60]

Just the other day we were at Costco and I choose pantyhose over male jeans, she asked me why I didn't buy both but did make a "better be sure Maria gets something" comment. I try very hard not to push or get into a heated conversation over dressing, all around she is very good about it, but, a big but here, women are like the wind they could change direction very quickly so I try not to push it to much.

[Beverley Sims]

Lee,
That is a bummer,
you have to practice dancing in circles for a while again.
I would look at other underlying causes in your marriage, this may be just an excuse.
Sorry.

[Jenniferathome]

Indeed a bummer, but this is an opportunity to talk about boundaries. From spending to her seeing anything. Any conversation that gets the subject matter out front and center without emotion is good. You might get past, "I hate it" to "Here's what I hate about it..."

Best of luck