Michelle789
02-08-2014, 04:41 PM
Last night, for the first time, I went out en femme. Two weeks ago, I went to my first TG support group, in drab. This past week, I've been sick on and off with a cold, or maybe it's been allergies, since I didn't have a fever, and was debating about whether or not to even go to my support group or stay home and get rest.
I decided last minute that I was going to go, and that I would leave the house in drab and bring a change of clothes, a wig, and breast forms to the meeting and change there. They have a chancing room. I shaved and did as much makeup as I can at home. At the changing room at the center, I changed into female clothes and finished my makeup job. Well, sort of, I didn't do eye makeup, just covering the beard and some light makeup on top of that.
I ended up wearing a somewhat above the knee length skirt (not too short though), a nice top, opaque black tights, and cute flats. Initially I was going to stay at the meeting en femme, and change back into male clothes and go home. After 10 minutes into the meeting, I decided that I was going to just stay dressed as a girl and go home like this and not care what the neighbors think. I announced at the meeting that this is my first time outside the house presenting as female, and that I don't care what the neighbors think. Everyone clapped. I felt really free and alive to be publicly being the real me for the first time. At the end of the meeting when we were asked to stack chairs, a guy offered to stack mine for me. I really loved it.
To keep with the spirit of the group, I won't talk about who I met or what anyone else said there, as I respect the group's privacy. But I met some wonderful people, and we talked all about various trans issues, as well as general stuff about ourselves, and the weather too. A bunch of us ended up going to a restaurant afterwards for dinner. I really felt blessed to have a chance to go with a group of people to a restaurant and socialize and eat dinner.
It was my first experience walking to my car, and driving to another place. I ended up having French toast. We were there until about 1 am, and just had a good old time. Btw, no one drank alcohol there, everyone ordered either diet coke, iced tea, or water. Since I'm a recovering alcoholic, I felt even better that everyone else around me was sober. It actually felt very much like my AA fellowships that I go to, except that I was presenting as female instead of male. I really enjoy my AA fellowships, and liked this even more. I relate to AA people well, but relate to trans people even better.
I really felt a huge sense of freedom and like a huge monkey was lifted off my shoulders when I was able to be out in the real world for the first time. I really felt alive last night, and completely forgot about the cold or allergies I was having all week. You know what else, the restaurant was packed, probably with a lot of drunk people, and no one said a word about a group of trannies. Sure there was a guy who shouts about someone's birthday, and everyone starts singing happy birthday. But no one said anything to any of us. It was just like any other outing in a restaurant, I mind my own business, you mind yours.
It makes a huge difference having the freedom to be interacting with people in a public place than sitting at home at a computer, watching Youtube or TV, or doing chores around the house, but feeling stuck in the house. I really felt awesome when I was called by my female name, and people using her and she pronouns. I also learned what it was like to sort through a bunch of stuff in a purse, and someone there offered me some advice on using a purse and key storage.
At 1 am, I drove home, and walked to my apartment at around 1:20 am. None of the neighbors were out so no one saw me, but I was prepared just in case someone did, and really didn't give a **** if anyone saw me.
When I arrived at home, the feeling was just as if I had got back from a normal outing, and I was about to change into pajamas to go to sleep. So my outing felt special, but normal at the same time. A paradox.
Total time of outing: 5.5 hours
Edit: I had lots of fears, including being judged by people at my own support group (especially about my fashion since since I'm new to presenting in public). None of this came to pass, and everyone was supportive.
I decided last minute that I was going to go, and that I would leave the house in drab and bring a change of clothes, a wig, and breast forms to the meeting and change there. They have a chancing room. I shaved and did as much makeup as I can at home. At the changing room at the center, I changed into female clothes and finished my makeup job. Well, sort of, I didn't do eye makeup, just covering the beard and some light makeup on top of that.
I ended up wearing a somewhat above the knee length skirt (not too short though), a nice top, opaque black tights, and cute flats. Initially I was going to stay at the meeting en femme, and change back into male clothes and go home. After 10 minutes into the meeting, I decided that I was going to just stay dressed as a girl and go home like this and not care what the neighbors think. I announced at the meeting that this is my first time outside the house presenting as female, and that I don't care what the neighbors think. Everyone clapped. I felt really free and alive to be publicly being the real me for the first time. At the end of the meeting when we were asked to stack chairs, a guy offered to stack mine for me. I really loved it.
To keep with the spirit of the group, I won't talk about who I met or what anyone else said there, as I respect the group's privacy. But I met some wonderful people, and we talked all about various trans issues, as well as general stuff about ourselves, and the weather too. A bunch of us ended up going to a restaurant afterwards for dinner. I really felt blessed to have a chance to go with a group of people to a restaurant and socialize and eat dinner.
It was my first experience walking to my car, and driving to another place. I ended up having French toast. We were there until about 1 am, and just had a good old time. Btw, no one drank alcohol there, everyone ordered either diet coke, iced tea, or water. Since I'm a recovering alcoholic, I felt even better that everyone else around me was sober. It actually felt very much like my AA fellowships that I go to, except that I was presenting as female instead of male. I really enjoy my AA fellowships, and liked this even more. I relate to AA people well, but relate to trans people even better.
I really felt a huge sense of freedom and like a huge monkey was lifted off my shoulders when I was able to be out in the real world for the first time. I really felt alive last night, and completely forgot about the cold or allergies I was having all week. You know what else, the restaurant was packed, probably with a lot of drunk people, and no one said a word about a group of trannies. Sure there was a guy who shouts about someone's birthday, and everyone starts singing happy birthday. But no one said anything to any of us. It was just like any other outing in a restaurant, I mind my own business, you mind yours.
It makes a huge difference having the freedom to be interacting with people in a public place than sitting at home at a computer, watching Youtube or TV, or doing chores around the house, but feeling stuck in the house. I really felt awesome when I was called by my female name, and people using her and she pronouns. I also learned what it was like to sort through a bunch of stuff in a purse, and someone there offered me some advice on using a purse and key storage.
At 1 am, I drove home, and walked to my apartment at around 1:20 am. None of the neighbors were out so no one saw me, but I was prepared just in case someone did, and really didn't give a **** if anyone saw me.
When I arrived at home, the feeling was just as if I had got back from a normal outing, and I was about to change into pajamas to go to sleep. So my outing felt special, but normal at the same time. A paradox.
Total time of outing: 5.5 hours
Edit: I had lots of fears, including being judged by people at my own support group (especially about my fashion since since I'm new to presenting in public). None of this came to pass, and everyone was supportive.