I want to go out en-femme

[sonialexis]

I have always wanted to go out dressed never had the courage and haven't seeked the opportunity aggressively too. I've ventured out in the dark a few times but just around the house. I'm sure there are many like and also the many who do go out, shop, see a play, eat,...
I feel the need for security is on top, i wouldn't mind some company too, the clothes, I already know the kind of look I would like on my first outing. I feel if I go out alone, I'de just be too conscious, nervous, fidgety, eyes darting every where to see if I know someone, and end up looking even more conspicuous. The society we live in is not so liberal and open minded, no really open gay bars too (i think that would be a safe bet). With a new law criminalizing homosexuality in India you fear even more. The most I could do is have a private dress up session with some other gurls in a hotel, but that too at times has safety issues.
The urge to go out is huge at times, I see girls, women all dressed up going for a night out and I feel so hopeless for a brief spell. I see myself so happy, going out and having a blast
How did you girls venture out?, I'm sure you had worries like me. Did you phase it in slowly? Was it nerve racking of running into somebody you know? GOD! I'm so frustrated, I don't want to die just dressing up at home. :drink: :drink: :drink:

[Beverley Sims]

Sonia,
I think we all tested the waters as you have done.
Under cover of darkness and scared as hell.
Looking furtively aroind at all the shadows that seem to move.
Get to the corner of the street.....
And run like a little mouse home again to the safety of our hidey hole. :)

A little more practice swimming in the dark and you will get there too.
Come and join the rest of us in the crowds and daylight of the mall.

[Anna H]

Sonia,

I'd like to go out too. The best I do is a 50 ft walk from my house to my shop.
It's not a safe area for going out where I am.

Then I'm trying to decide exactly what it is I'm getting out of it if I did
go driving around or to a movie/restaurant/etc.

For me, that'd just be being able to go about normally as myself. Not
to fool anyone, and certainly not to interact with people I don't know
....which could possibly happen.

I may try to find some support groups that are close enough to go to.
I think that'll be a safer first step for me. I'd like to be in the company
of others who are like me. Even for a short time.

Some of my younger day jobs have had me in close contact with nearly
every type of person there is. All of the spectrum of all types of people.
But I never shared any of myself with any of them for job-related
reasons. So I never had any personal relationships with anyone like
myself.

If there are no support groups close enough, or I don't get the time,
my plan/hope is to go to one of the larger conventions/meetings like
SCC in Atlanta. Then I'll be safer around a crowd that knows their
way around. From that, I'll know how comfortable I may be going
out on my own.

If I lived in a larger, more progressive area...I'd just not give a Big 'F'.
Unfortunately I don't. Got to play it Very carefully where I am.

:happy:

[Marcelle]

Hi Sonialexis,

I started like most here a few "ninja femme drives" in my car with no interaction just driving around. I then went through a drive through Starbucks and finally graduated to my first walk in the light of day in a parking lot. Next step was a store and from there I was off and running (well perhaps not running in heels). However, I assume by your post that you live in India and as such, you may have some safety concerns which I did not have in Canada. My advice would be to take you safety seriously especially in a place where harm could befall you. Are there support groups in your area which may be able to help?

Hugs

Isha

[Jaylyn]

I think it would be very hard in India if it is against the law there for homosexuality. You may just be a CD but you could also be guilty just by association. Just depends on the laws. You say maybe an unopened gay bar. To me that would be even more frightening as one would never know the extent the law would go to watch that type of activity. You definitely don't want to be accused of something against the law for doing something that is only suspect. Isha stated maybe a support group or just maybe someone else on here could be from India. Shoot it helps me just visiting with some other Texas girls on here. Please don't be frustrated just take some of that edge off by under dressing it helps me.

[Barbie Anne]

I also would love to go out and be myself in public, but live in a small conservative town in florida, and while it's not against any written law here, it would not be a very safe thing to do.
I also make do with underdressing but am usually always en-femme at home, with the approval and encouragement of my lovely wife, which helps a lot.
I've considered moving to a larger more liberal area as I'm sure there are others around here like my wife and myself, but also like us they are too afraid to come out in public, and there's no such thing as any type of social club or support group here. (that I know of lol).
Are there any regions in India that are more sympathetic to our/your plight? A move might be in order.
Peace and hugs Barbie

[Kate Simmons]

I just got tired of worrying about it and went for it when I went to my first TG Org. meeting back in 2001. I've never regretted that decision. :)

[Adriana Moretti]

Have you made any friends from the forum? Do you belong to any cd groups? There is always saftey in numbers...Get out there though even if it is a drive around town for starters...read some of the forum threads about peoples outings, once you get out there, it will be a whole new world for you..and that fear will disappear quick.

[Glenda58]

We all been there starting slow but the more times you go out it gets easier. Once I run into my XGF at the mall and she hated that I dress. I just held my head up and walked right by her she didn't say a word.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sonia, I've ventured out in the driveway to get the early Morning paper.

[Annaliese]

I have been out a lot but still need someone to walk out the door with me. Once out I am fine but it's that first step that is hard.

[KaceyR]

I've been out 3x myself... Shopping and food basically. Think neighbors in this apartment bldg found me out this Sat from the sound of someone bumping their door across the hall as I walked back up to mine :)
Yeah it does get easier as you go..I just thought 'screw it' and did it myself.
Once I stepped outside then I just did my thing. Just keep your sense of purpose running focus once you close the door and that's all you'll need. (Oh and door keys and car keys and... :))
(I thought about doing up a checklist to make sure I don't forget something important before stepping out...Sat was thinking about something CD when I left and almost locked myself out :))

I still haven't figured out places,groups around here however..so still am soloing my trips. but if you can find people near for support/social that might be a better way to start.

[anna warren]

I'm thinking my first outing will be completely unadventurous...possibly just a trip through a drive thru at mcdonalds...lol...start small, right?

[Vanessa Rose]

IMHO

The first ten feet from your front door are the hardest.

And that is for coming and going

I need a bat cave

[Jorja]

I have always wanted to go out dressed never had the courage and haven't seeked the opportunity aggressively too. I've ventured out in the dark a few times but just around the house. I'm sure there are many like and also the many who do go out, shop, see a play, eat,...
I feel the need for security is on top, i wouldn't mind some company too, the clothes, I already know the kind of look I would like on my first outing. I feel if I go out alone, I'de just be too conscious, nervous, fidgety, eyes darting every where to see if I know someone, and end up looking even more conspicuous. The society we live in is not so liberal and open minded, no really open gay bars too (i think that would be a safe bet). With a new law criminalizing homosexuality in India you fear even more. The most I could do is have a private dress up session with some other gurls in a hotel, but that too at times has safety issues.
The urge to go out is huge at times, I see girls, women all dressed up going for a night out and I feel so hopeless for a brief spell. I see myself so happy, going out and having a blast
How did you girls venture out?, I'm sure you had worries like me. Did you phase it in slowly? Was it nerve racking of running into somebody you know? GOD! I'm so frustrated, I don't want to die just dressing up at home. :drink: :drink: :drink:


Sonia,

I'd like to go out too. The best I do is a 50 ft walk from my house to my shop.
It's not a safe area for going out where I am.

Then I'm trying to decide exactly what it is I'm getting out of it if I did
go driving around or to a movie/restaurant/etc.

For me, that'd just be being able to go about normally as myself. Not
to fool anyone, and certainly not to interact with people I don't know
....which could possibly happen.

I may try to find some support groups that are close enough to go to.
I think that'll be a safer first step for me. I'd like to be in the company
of others who are like me. Even for a short time.

Some of my younger day jobs have had me in close contact with nearly
every type of person there is. All of the spectrum of all types of people.
But I never shared any of myself with any of them for job-related
reasons. So I never had any personal relationships with anyone like
myself.

If there are no support groups close enough, or I don't get the time,
my plan/hope is to go to one of the larger conventions/meetings like
SCC in Atlanta. Then I'll be safer around a crowd that knows their
way around. From that, I'll know how comfortable I may be going
out on my own.

If I lived in a larger, more progressive area...I'd just not give a Big 'F'.
Unfortunately I don't. Got to play it Very carefully where I am.

:happy:


I also would love to go out and be myself in public, but live in a small conservative town in florida, and while it's not against any written law here, it would not be a very safe thing to do.
I also make do with underdressing but am usually always en-femme at home, with the approval and encouragement of my lovely wife, which helps a lot.
I've considered moving to a larger more liberal area as I'm sure there are others around here like my wife and myself, but also like us they are too afraid to come out in public, and there's no such thing as any type of social club or support group here. (that I know of lol).
Are there any regions in India that are more sympathetic to our/your plight? A move might be in order.
Peace and hugs Barbie


I'm thinking my first outing will be completely unadventurous...possibly just a trip through a drive thru at mcdonalds...lol...start small, right?

Jorja sets a cookie trail from from each of your front doors. Don't make me brake out the chocolate eclairs! :)

[anna warren]

Jorja, lay out a trail of dunkin donuts and I'm there :)

[Jorja]

Done Anna. ;)

[Lillyasia]

Donuts? Did someone say donuts...

[anna warren]

Screw our girlish figures...thats why we wear corsets...:)

[Anna H]

Jorja sets a cookie trail from from each of your front doors. Don't make me brake out the chocolate eclairs! :)


Possibility of chocolate eclairs! No way to resist that. (now hitting PayLess for comfortable out & about flats) :)