Princess Grandpa
02-11-2014, 01:50 PM
Tomorrow is our 30th wedding anniversary. Tonight Rita and Julie celebrate at Tgirl Tuesday at Hamburger Mary's. Tomorrow we are off to Vegas. We are going with two sisters and their SO's. I can't believe how wonderful this group of ladies are. Never before have I entered into a new social situation and felt so welcome and included.
Preparing for Vegas today is very different than it was going last February. It used to be easy to pack. First of all Julie did most of the work. She would pack my suit (not likely to get worn but just in case) grab some jeans (doesn't matter which they're all the same) and I'm ready to go. We have spent the past three weeks discussing which matching dresses we should bring (in case I work up the courage to let Rita out) i spent several hours choosing which tops to bring. I have four pair of jeans so t hey all have to go. I never cared what I wore as long as I had something to wear.
Since coming to understand/accept who I am last may (was it really only nine months ago?) things have been amazing. I have gone from feeling like some creepy perv (I prefer creatively amorous) who likes to wear women's underwear (at home) to feeling unashamed, happy, and truly enjoying life. No longer a socially awkward introvert with no desire to meet new people. Now I'm... Ok I'm still socially awkward *giggle* but the people I have met are amazing and wonderful and I am so happy when we are out as Rita and Julie.
Frankly had it not been for Julie, I would have been content running around here like corporal Klinger. All hairy and #%\* in some pretty dress. It was Julie who convinced me to get a wig (I really would like a real hair wig) forms and to use make up. Clearly my version would NEVER have left the house. There never would have been a Rita. Just me in a dress.
Since last July Rita and Julie have gone out between two and six times a month. Almost always to a "safe place". The tgirl parties at Hamburger Mary's and club shine at the Oxwood. I relax I have fun. Julie is even teaching me to dance. I'm still amazingly uncomfortable out in public though. We have gone out a few times with the SoCal fun girls group and I spent most of the evenings seriously uncomfortable.
We have taken several matching dresses. It will be interesting to see if I let Rita out of the room. I thought it would be easier with other girls. My discomfort in public really confuses me. I can walk up to the dressing room with skirts or dresses with very little difficulty. I have little problem letting strangers know I wear women's clothes but the thought of being seen is a very different matter.
I originally thought and still wonder if this is a sign that I don't truly accept myself. I feel like I do. But then again I spent almost 50 years not realizing I needed to do this. I feel joy in being Rita. Why does being out in the general populace freak me out so badly?
Hug
Rita
Preparing for Vegas today is very different than it was going last February. It used to be easy to pack. First of all Julie did most of the work. She would pack my suit (not likely to get worn but just in case) grab some jeans (doesn't matter which they're all the same) and I'm ready to go. We have spent the past three weeks discussing which matching dresses we should bring (in case I work up the courage to let Rita out) i spent several hours choosing which tops to bring. I have four pair of jeans so t hey all have to go. I never cared what I wore as long as I had something to wear.
Since coming to understand/accept who I am last may (was it really only nine months ago?) things have been amazing. I have gone from feeling like some creepy perv (I prefer creatively amorous) who likes to wear women's underwear (at home) to feeling unashamed, happy, and truly enjoying life. No longer a socially awkward introvert with no desire to meet new people. Now I'm... Ok I'm still socially awkward *giggle* but the people I have met are amazing and wonderful and I am so happy when we are out as Rita and Julie.
Frankly had it not been for Julie, I would have been content running around here like corporal Klinger. All hairy and #%\* in some pretty dress. It was Julie who convinced me to get a wig (I really would like a real hair wig) forms and to use make up. Clearly my version would NEVER have left the house. There never would have been a Rita. Just me in a dress.
Since last July Rita and Julie have gone out between two and six times a month. Almost always to a "safe place". The tgirl parties at Hamburger Mary's and club shine at the Oxwood. I relax I have fun. Julie is even teaching me to dance. I'm still amazingly uncomfortable out in public though. We have gone out a few times with the SoCal fun girls group and I spent most of the evenings seriously uncomfortable.
We have taken several matching dresses. It will be interesting to see if I let Rita out of the room. I thought it would be easier with other girls. My discomfort in public really confuses me. I can walk up to the dressing room with skirts or dresses with very little difficulty. I have little problem letting strangers know I wear women's clothes but the thought of being seen is a very different matter.
I originally thought and still wonder if this is a sign that I don't truly accept myself. I feel like I do. But then again I spent almost 50 years not realizing I needed to do this. I feel joy in being Rita. Why does being out in the general populace freak me out so badly?
Hug
Rita