What a dilemma!

[Laura]

Hello! :)

For some bizarre reason, I have become very bold of late and I decided that now is the right time to tell a female friend of mine how I like to dress.

She didn't believe me.

She really did not believe a word I was saying to her. I was bearing my soul to her and she just thought I was making it up.

So, what do I do next?

Laugh it off and carry on as we are?

Tell her more forcefully (somehow) that Laura is real?

Give her a flash of my knickers?

Help!!

[Vanessa Rose]

Well now you are in for it girl. Let the posts start flowing...


We all, and I mean all have an opinion about this...


Not me though, I just come out and tell my SO's and never had an issue. Luck? Fate? Whatever, I have no clue. And apparently, I am a social idiot. so go tell?


I think the general consensus is going to be 1) go slow, 2) give her time to digest and don't overwhelm her, 3) get a raccoon cap (like mine - staple item really), 4) have fun and smile.


Nice first step by the way... Really, there is no right way to do this but what your instinct tells you to do. That said, keep us posted.


Vanny

[Beverley Sims]

Laugh it of for now but bring the subject up regularly, she may come to accept it.
If you force the issue at this time you may lose a friend.

[Caden Lane]

Is the female friend a Love interest, or just a friend? The difference lay in how you proceed. If Love interest, the advice Vanny gave rings very true. If just a friend, then you need to ask yourself how important it is that she knows. If its important, simply ask her if she would be willing to give you some style or makeup tips. Or just go shopping together. I think once you make a fe me purchase for yourself, it'd start to make sense.

[Jilmac]

If you have any pictures of Laura, show them to your friend and perhaps that will convince her that Laura actually exists. There might be other ways less blatant such as shopping with her and helping her pick an outfit or makeup and jewellry. If you are not successful in convincing her then perhaps she is in denial.

[heatherdress]

We don't know enough to offer any advice. But it seems she has definitely responded. She doesn't want to believe or maybe doesn't want to know. Give it up. This was your need not her's.

[MsVal]

A good question to ask yourself is "Why is it important to ME that she believe me?" If it is an ego thing, let it ride. Ego is highly overrated and there are a whole lot of other things to fuss about. If it's a love interest and you want to be clear on your crossdressing before going further then follow the "go slow", "don't overwhelm" kinds of advice.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Stephanie Miller]

Why push it? Maybe it sank in and she really doesn't care. Maybe she doesn't believe you. So what? Life goes on. Is there some form of validation or acceptance you're looking for from her? Needing someone to talk too?
I say go on about your business and forget about it. If for some reason Laura happens to show up dressed .. then she shows up. You gave her fair warning.

[Adriana Moretti]

ditto on everything said..show her a picture eventually. BTW how old is she?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Laura, I think that it's time your friend met Laura and find out how good a friend she really is.

[Stephanie47]

It's easy. Get dolled up....everything...wig, makeup, pretty dress, heels, hosiery (none of that semi womanly stuff called jeans and a top) and knock on her door. I did not see your age, but, a little black dress that hits mid thigh, sheer black stockings and four inch heels would do nicely, especially if you walk better in the heels that her.

[Laura912]

Must vote with Ms Val on this. Why is it important that anyone know or at least this friend?

[melissakozak]

When coming out, it is helpful to communicate clearly, and a picture or two doesn't hurt. It makes it real, and it makes it much less shocking than just presenting as your femme self....go slow, very slow....

[Helen Grandeis]

Its like Aiden of Being Human telling his love that he was a vampire and she not believing until he changed his eyes black.

[Erica Anne]

I had similar issue convincing my older sister. And she used to dress me up in her clothes when we were very young. She did not believe me. I wanted to borrow one of her wigs, still she did not believe me. So I brought over some of my satin skirts, and a few pictures. She was in denial for a short while but was cool with it. She actually took me out Christmas shopping for a skirt, I am surprised she really wanted to do that.

[AKADonna]

It sounds like the proverbial cat is out of the bag at this point. You have at least created a suspicion in her mind that you may be a crossdresser. I would expect that she will either write it off as unbelievable or carefully keep an eye on you fro a while to see if she notices anything feminine about your mannerisms, dress or interests. I think , at this point, I would just let sleeping dogs lie and see how she handles it.

[Laura]

Hi Donna,

I think you've hit the nail on the head there. The seeds have been planted in her mind about Laura.

I'll write it off as a joke for now and see what happens.

[sonialexis]

That is a dilemma my dear. You probably do not want to push it, shock her or appear desperate. It does depend on your friendship though, she could be just a fantastic person and you know she'd be okay with showing a pic or sumthin, then you could go with your gut.
give her subtle signals, comment about her make up, clothes, you could offer accompanying her shopping. She'll get the vibes and you could take it from there. she probably just doesn't see you as a girl and indulging yourselves in some girl bonding will definitely get her thinking about what you said. all the best

[Laura]

Thank you girls for all your advice.

Deep down I kinda hoped she would say something like, "So what? Lets go shopping for clothes!" But life isn't like that.

I'll leave it for now as I seem to have come to a natural halt on proceedings. At least it wasn't, "Eugh!!!!!!!!!! You're weird! Don't come any where near me!"

Laura has been a secret for 33 years, so a little longer won't hurt.

BTW, have to say that since I joined this forum, I feel a lot happier and comfortable with myself. I no longer feel that this is my dirty little secret.

Thank you all.

[RADER]

Hi Laura;
You might wait and see if "SHE" brings up the subject again.
If she does not, most likely she will not accept Laura in any way.
So as a safety device, start thinking about how to split off from her.
It might be easer now than later when things get more seriously.
Rader

[JazT95]

Personally, I would let her digest the information for a bit. I think maybe if a friend I had known well for a long time just came out with that, I'd write it off at first too. And like some others have said, don't force the subject on her and maybe wait until she asks you about it again. What you've told her is a pretty big thing so I can't imagine she'll keep quiet about it for too long :)

But then again, I'm no expert because I'm still yet to tell anyone :/

[Crissy Kay]

The same thing happened to me when I told my sister. Now I just say that I was joking!!

[5150 Girl]

IF you are planning an intimate long term relationship, then yes, by all means, you must press the issue. Better she learn now, than after things get serious. It's often a bad scene when they find out after the fact.
Other wise Just let it ride. IF by happenstance she should someday cross paths with your fem self, just say "I told you so"