Wishful thinking

[MissTee]

I just wrapped up a call with my (supportive) spouse. I am working several states away and we get to see each other about once a month for a week or so. The separation is tough, but thankfully I have a good job and we can provide for ourselves and the kids/grandkids.

A part of our chat tonight was a discussion of how I was dressed. Gray pullover sweater, pink skirt, short wig, forms, painted toes and finger nails, sandels, etc. She said, "That sounds so cute. Wish I could be there to check you out first hand." Then we moved to chatting about family matters, relative issues, current events, and all things non CD.

Afterwards, I read posts here about lonely CD's, un-accepting spouses, divorces, DADT scenarios and the like. Yucky! I'm living proof things can be different and there is hope.

So, if you haven't already -- here's wishing you'll find someone special like I have.

[Vanessa Rose]

you are living the dream... but somehow, regardless if you admit it or not, you must have somehow earned the love of a beautiful and amazing woman somehow, so that she allowed you to be who you are, and support you and all lifes needs.

I am the same. I could not be happier... nor more wonderous on how in the world this happened to me of all people. Just can't figure any of that out.

Vanny

[Jennifer S]

That's great! A loving, respectful relationship is the best possible situation we could all ask for

[Beverley Sims]

Those less fortunate than us should be allowed to dream.
I always wish for change for you all out there.

[Michelle789]

You're really lucky, especially since you live in the deep south. Most spouses are unaccepting or reluctantly accepting of CDers, and 90-95% of TSes will get divorced. I think there's a lot of factors that determine if your spouse is accepting.

- Dumb luck
- Age (older means less accepting, younger means better chance of accepting)
- Personality (masculine women/tomboys more accepting, feminine women less accepting since they want a masculine man)
- Therapy may help (no guarantees)

These are averages, though. Nothing is guaranteed.

I'm really happy to hear your spouse is accepting :)

[Jenniferathome]

.... Most spouses are unaccepting or reluctantly accepting of CDers, ...

You are wrong Michelle. "Some" spouses can't handle it.

[Rachael Leigh]

For you ladies who have such wonderful accepting wife they are indeed special to accept you like this.
For me even though mine allows me to dress she does not accept or agree at all with it but I do noir think any less of her and know she too is a very special woman. What I feel is how much I wish this didn't hurt her or my relationship and that in and of itself is why many of us just let this part of ourselves go. For me I want to have the courage to do that someday if I need to to strengthen our relationship more.

[Vanessa Rose]

I'll be honest. I don't personally have a clue as to how any of this happened with me to have, two accepting SO's
My opinion is that mine of us do and or have a clue as to what we did vs anyone else

So for me forget it about saying what I did or you should do this is of no concern. Or value likely.

I just don't know


What I do know is what I did and what my expectations were and that I CLEARLY TOLD THEM TO HER.

So what does this latest piece if information mean. Who knows.

But I must have done something right.

I know I have done more wrong in my life but I am honest about me and don't talk about stuff except dreams and then, mostly I just do what I said or what I did not want to say that needed to happen to show that I do what I say

Talk is worthless. Action has a value. I don't have any action with one of the most important aspects of me now so, I failed for now. But I will succeed. Yes I will and will tell my lady 50 or a hundred times a day how much she is loved and what she means to me.

After that it is likely all rubbish this advise stuff is

There are just too many nice and decent chaps that can't get a lady or a break. Why, lord knows

Vanny

[Katey888]

That's a nice wish to have for everyone else who doesn't have what you've got, MissTee - yours is a lovely example of how very normal things can take place while embracing this thing we do.... You are indeed fortunate - and I'm sure you work at making it better.

I'll have that wish with you.. :)

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi MissTee,

What a wonderful story and what a loving and supportive spouse. I do count us fortunate, that is those of us who have a relationship with a supportive SO. However for all my sisters who are looking, in a DADT or closeted, while we can all agree that having a supportive SO along with us on our journey would be wonderful, please don't discount other fortunes in your life as you travel through this world. Life is too short to fixate on one thing alone . . . look around you, live within the moment and you will find a great and wonderful world full of awe and experiences waiting for you. :)

Hugs

Isha

[Barbie Anne]

MissTee, so wonderful for you :), I also am blessed with a loving understanding wife that not only accepts who and what I am but encourages me to be exactly who I want to be. However I have lived the other end of the spectrum as well and actually lost several relationships and 1 marriage due to what feels normal to us. So I can empathize with all you poor closeted ladies out there. Yes it is important for us to be comfortable in our own skin but,(to me at least), it is also quite important that our SOs are happy and comfortable.
It feels as if I won the celestial lottery and the Great Architect decided to rain good fortune down upon my head.
We at times due to family emergencies and such, have also been sepparated for up to 2 weeks at a time and it was like a part of me was missing. I hope you're reunited soon as you seem to really love each other.......Hugs

[Jackie F]

Like Leigh my wife allows my CDing behind closed doors.(Not accepting)
I love my wife and am honest with her.
I would like more, however I do feel lucky and blessed because I know how tough this is for her.
I will continue to stay with in the boundaries yet pushing them when the time is right!

[sonialexis]

aah, the life. wouldn't mind such arrangements. fab story hon.