purging male undewear

[MatildaJ.]

Can someone explain to me how a person can decide to get rid of all his male underwear, and still claim he won't ever want to transition? He marks the anniversaries of purging all his guy underpants (1 month! 6 months! 1 year of wearing only panties!) -- how could that not reflect a deep-seated desire to get rid of all his male clothes and live full-time as a woman, even if he's not ready to admit that to me?

[Zylia]

Because this kind of obsessive and compulsive behaviour that some cross-dressing individuals seem to have isn't necessarily related to a mismatch of one's (birth-assigned) sex and the internal sense of gender identity?

[Dana M]

Hello JessM.
Though I have not purged all my male underwear, I can say that I tend to have more boy shorts and other panties than boxer briefs. I am fully comfortable with being a male who likes to wear woman's clothes at times. Speaking for myself I just like the way some of the panties and hosery feels.

[Beverley Sims]

I never purge anything...
Mine all wore out and got used as oil rags in the garage. :)

[Melissa73]

purging male underwear, or clothes and not wanting to be a woman... speaking for myself, as i did purge all my mens underwear a year ago, ive come to the decision its just clothes. how can what i wear determine what gender i am? Just because i choose to wear panties 24.7, that doesnt make me a woman. In fact, its made me realize i am my own man...

melissa

[Katey888]

Because this kind of obsessive and compulsive behaviour that some cross-dressing individuals seem to have isn't necessarily related to a mismatch of one's (birth-assigned) sex and the internal sense of gender identity?

I think Zylia's got it with her usual Sidewinder-like accuracy and subtlety! :)

I'd suggest the purging and time logging is more of a totem than anything else - something that can be focused upon as an affirmation that the CDing is complete - but that doesn't mean it goes any further.

I'll sail right into a southerly gale here by saying that I like my boy boxers... :) I've tried alternates (and I might again) but unless proper French knickers come back (I can't find them anywhere like they used to be 30 years ago..) I'm not changing! If I can find any, I might change over permanently and that - for sure - doesn't mean I want to transition. It just means I like being comfy (and a bit sensual...:D)

Katey x

[Barbie Anne]

purging male underwear, or clothes and not wanting to be a woman... speaking for myself, as i did purge all my mens underwear a year ago, ive come to the decision its just clothes. how can what i wear determine what gender i am? Just because i choose to wear panties 24.7, that doesnt make me a woman. In fact, its made me realize i am my own man...

melissa

Ditto Melissa

[Annaliese]

I can't explain it because that is what happen to me, the only thing you can do is keep talking to your SO he may not understand it now either but it does not mean he is going to transitions, not everyone transitions. Together you have to look at this as a journey and decide if you are going to take it together, either of you know what the outcome is going to be.

[PaulaQ]

It's a very long distance from secretly only wearing women's underwear to fully transitioning. A *lot* of CDs only wear women's underwear. Hey, if you aren't going to wear them, why keep your male underwear around? It frees up drawer space for panties, if nothing else.

The thing is, and this is a point I make a lot, the positive signs you see like this, the gender variant behavior, are only the tip of the ice berg. It's the stuff below the surface that you generally can't see that leads us to transition. I didn't transition because I had this fantasy that dressing as a woman is super fun, so being one - WOW!!!! No, I transitioned because if I had to look in the mirror one more day and see that ****ing man look back at me, I was going to blow my goddamned head off.

Have you talked to your spouse about why he wants to do this? Unless the reason is something along the lines of "wearing only panties provides me a tiny bit of comfort in my bleak existence as a man", you probably don't have too much to worry about yet.

I can understand your concern over what is an escalation of your spouse's cross gender behavior. But the reality is that someone can get pretty darn girly, and never really fully transition because they just aren't driven by the horrible negativity that is severe GD.

Do you see any new negativity in your SO?

[Jennifer in CO]

do they still make "tightie white-ies"?

I haven't worn "male" underwear in going on 36 years. Yes during that time I transitioned but came back to the dark side as well. Just kept wearing panties. Besides being more comfortable, why would you NOT wear panties?

[Cheryl T]

While I haven't purged the male underwear and have been wearing panties for about 10 years now there are times when I revert, such as hospital stays, and certain medical procedures where explanations would be needed. I'm not looking to live full time, but I do prefer to wear my feminine clothing as much as possible. It's self-expression for me, not an inner desire to transition.

[RADER]

Well I threw out most of my Male undies years ago when I retired.
I keep only 1 or 2 in the drawer for toes Doctor visits when needed.
It is Panties for me all the time, And love it.
Rader

[Kate Simmons]

I don't get it either Hon. Personally, even though I like to dress, I like my tighty whities. Ain't gettin' rid of them, no way, no how. I think maybe it has something to do with trying to convince himself of something. Myself? I'm a guy and that ain't changing anytime soon. :)

[MatildaJ.]

Thanks, everyone, for the helpful replies. If it were just about being practical, I'd understand it better, but who celebrates anniversaries of clearing out drawer space. Zylia's comment about obsessive behavior rang true to me... that helps quite a bit.

[Bria]

I stopped wearing male underwear last summer, I was getting a rash around my waist and on my left hip, a result of the elastic, I guess I'm allergic to it. Nylon bikini panties work just fine and the rash is gone! I still have the tighty whities but haven't worn them in at least six or seven months, I suppose when I go for my annual physical I'll put on a pair.

Hugs Bria

[Trish]

Male underwear, I haven't worn any in over 30 years. I don't want to transition.

[carrie2014]

purged my last mens under wear about one year ago when I got the courage to wear panties to my female doctor. She said i am not the first guy to wear panties no problems.
.

[lingerieLiz]

I was down to a single pair of tidy whities when I needed to wear all male for a couple weeks. Now I have a bunch of them that have only been worn once. I wear one pair to the doctors, but otherwise it's all panties for me. I'm not interested in transitioning but have worn panties for over 50 years.

[Jenniferathome]

Jess, you're off the track on this one. Underwear is hidden by our outside clothing. The fact that we wear female underwear is just an internal thing. For me, a visual admission that I am a cross dresser and NOT in hiding anymore. I purged all my tightie whities two years ago. I'm a dude, through and through.

Now, if he is dressing 24/7, then you might be on to something!

[pinklilly211]

This thread got me thinking,,, I do still have MALE undies in my drawer and I just went to look at them. I guess it's been quite a while since I have wore them, The elactic on all of them has gave-out!!! I guess I should just throw them away. I do have a big assortment of (panties) but I just call them undies. I just wear my undies everyday just like any other (person). Just went to a Dr. appt. yesterday and picked out a very plain pair of black undies, Dr. and nurses didn't even miss a beat. I Don't have any plans to transion at all. I just like my cumfy UNDIES!!!

[ReineD]

Is it at all sexual in a thrilling sort of way, or was this the root that has now morphed into wearing them for comfort?

Don't most men associate sexiness (or sensuality) with women's panties?

[Barbie Anne]

Have been doing a lot of research online recently for styles that fit better and ran accross an article that mentioned a new fashion trend that started in Japan but is spreading world wide........Sexy lingerie designed for men. specifically hetero men.
There was a link to this site and I put it in my favorites :)
http://www.hommemystere.com/
Read some of the customer testimonials from women that buy these items for their men.
Finally some acceptance :) and this isn't just like unisex briefs or the satin banana hammocks. Some very nice stuff here.
Maybe should post this in fashion and shopping section but thought it was germaine to the conversation.

[sandra-leigh]

For some CDs it might not have anything to do with their internal gender. For others it does. But at times like these it helps to remember that gender is not a binary. If you were to grab one of his old T-shirts and use it as a night shirt, would that mean that you wanted to transition to male "even if you don't want to admit it to yourself" ?

Celebrating getting rid of men's underwear could be as simple as celebrating freedom. If someone had feared "getting caught", perhaps just for regular embarrassment shame, perhaps because they grew up in an environment where being found to have worn panties would have been a major crisis or cause for a beating, then finally getting to a point in one's life where one could wear what one liked would be a cause for celebration. Hypothetically, someone might not even care much about wearing panties but might choose to continue wearing them as a symbol of freedom. If that were the case, then any pressure to wear something else would likely result in a push-back: "Ain't nobody gonna tell me what I can or cannot wear!".

[Nadine Spirit]

I no longer own any male underwear and have no intentions of ever transitioning. I have no idea when I got rid of them; I do not mark it as some sort of major event in my history. I just looked at it sitting in my drawer and wondered why I am keeping it if I never intend to wear it again.

I find it interesting that so many people are uncomfortable at those of us who are happy being somewhere between the two binary genders. I am a blend of genders, some male qualities, some female; if I change my bits I will just have different outer bits, but inside I will still feel the same, sometimes male-ish and sometimes female-ish. But 100% me. :)

[Daryl]

Mine wore out around 20 yrs ago and were taking up space in my pantie drawer. Out they went and never replaced them.

[MatildaJ.]

Celebrating getting rid of men's underwear could be as simple as celebrating freedom. If someone had feared "getting caught"... then finally getting to a point in one's life where one could wear what one liked would be a cause for celebration.

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense. And helps explain why he thought I would also want to celebrate the occasion.

[Dana L]

I got rid of the last of my male underwear awhile ago. I had an unopened pack of men's underwear that I had been hanging onto for quite a few years. I think I had been saving them as some kind of security blanket, just in case I needed them. When I got rid of them it was like taking the training wheels off. So celebrating that day isn't strange, it's a celebration of accepting ones self and not worrying what others might think if they notice.

[MatildaJ.]

Is it at all sexual in a thrilling sort of way

I think it's more about setting the male role aside (in select ways of his choosing) than about a sexual thrill, for him.

[Taylor Ray]

There are many gradations on the spectrum. I'm not sure what underwear has to to with "living as a woman full time". Its just underwear, after all. In terms of being excited about it, I think Sandra-leigh hit the nail on the head. It's like finally having one's own apartment, not having to worry about hiding things. If I were to get a roommate now, I would advertise as someone LGBT.

[Jennifer_Ph]

In order for me to purge male underwear, I'd have to own some. I wear pantyhose unless I'm shaving my legs. :-)

[Angie G]

If I ever get to retire so go's my horrid Male underwwear. Out the door. Down the road.:hugs:
Angie

[Tina_gm]

I think for Jess and other GG's, we should at least attempt to look at this from their perspective. Underwear is a private statement that any of us, male, female or somewhere in between make for ourselves. with exception to certain sexual situations, it is only for us. So we, the CDers say hey, its just underwear. But for a GG S/O eh, it means to them that we feel more comfortable with wearing feminine clothes than masculine clothes. And for many, this is true. But, to say that its not a big deal, well, it is to them. It is a means of CDing 24/7. Maybe not living full time, but it is CDing in some fashion full time.

[CynthiaD]

It's a long way from panties 24/7 to full time dressing, and I doubt if purging male underwear is a significant step in that direction. However for myself it is a step along that road. But my impression is that I am in the minority in that regard.

[MatildaJ.]

For a GG S/O eh, it means to them that we feel more comfortable with wearing feminine clothes than masculine clothes.

Exactly. It suggests that if you didn't worry about negative consequences, you'd feel more comfortable wearing all women's clothes, all the time. That's a big shift for an SO who is just learning about all of this..

[alwayshave]

I have worn panties full time for about 8 years. I can't say that I know what year or day I finally gave up wearing men's underwear. The only time I have worn them was about 6 years ago when I did a cross country with my 80yo father. A little more explaining than I wanted to do.

[devida]

I love my men's compression underwear. But I honestly don't see any difference between it and my wife's women's compression underwear. Neither have flies and both seem to be made from the same material and are the same length. I certainly cannot stand any of the regular men's underwear I used to wear and all that has gone. I have absolutely no interest in transitioning. I am happily transgender without having to be male or female in either my clothes or my gender identity. I am very clearly, at least to me, both and neither. I just found regular men's underwear incredibly uncomfortable and ugly. But I think celebrating an anniversary of purging your men's underwear is a bit more formal than I, at least, would find interesting. But whatever floats your boat, I guess.

[Nadine Spirit]

It suggests that if you didn't worry about negative consequences, you'd feel more comfortable wearing all women's clothes, all the time.

BTW, you are pretty awesome for taking the time to learn about all of this. :)

While I only wear women's underwear, it is because for me at least they are far more comfortable. I prefer tiny underwear and men's always seemed to bunch up. I don't worry about negative consequences and I am still not interested in wearing women's clothes all of the time. Personally I think you should more concerned that your SO getting rid of his male underwear seems to be some sort of milestone. So, maybe it is not the act but what it may mean to him.

[Taylor Ray]

I know lots of men who wear women's underwear all the time and are not cross dressers. Generalizations generally don't work.

[darla_g]

Zylia hit the nail on the head on this one

[Jamie Lynn]

Because for some of us "It's just clothing!" Yes, it may be classified as "girl" clothing but if we like it then why can't we where it? It's more colorful, it may fit the way we want it to, it may give us a little happiness. I pretty much dumped all my "male" underwear too and replaced some of it with "girl" undies that look "male" for when I do certain activities with my male friends that might require me to change in their presence. (That doesn't sound good but it's NOT what you think, PROMISE!):D I have NO DESIRE to live full time as a woman and/or transition. Can't say I didn't give it some thought but I LIKE doing certain guy things and that comraderie. (sp?) And I both love and respect my wife and want to be her "man". But I also like a little bit of girlie however I can get it!:battingeyelashes:

[Jamie Lynn]

AND.........I like the continual hug that they give me! :heehee::D

[Robin777]

I got rid of my male underwear probably 25 yrs ago. I just found women's undies to be a lot more comfortable. At this point in my life I have no thoughts of transitioning. When I had thoughts of transitioning, I was in my teens. This was a long time before I got rid of my men's underwear. The thoughts of transitioning went away when I met my wife. I was wearing men's bikini and hip hugger style briefs before I started to full time wear women's undies. I found the women's undies to be more comfortable and cheaper.

[jenyfr]

Jamie, you are not alone. I have both a male and female wardrobe, men's briefs and tee shirts for days when I want to do mainly man type stuff. The remainder of the time however I am wearing panties, bras, camisoles and womens tees in some part or all at once. Can you imagine being out at 2:30AM in a duck blind with your buddies, knowing that you have some sexy panties and panty hose on under your mens clothing? I can and enjoy the feeling. Other outdoor activities such as say deer hunting I find that the mens briefs are more suitable because I need the extra support and less chaffing that comes with that type of clothing. If this seems a bit macho for you, consider the fact that I also do needlepoint and hand quilting. I love to sew.

[MatildaJ.]

Just to clarify, I'm not questioning why someone would generally prefer women's undies. This thread is about why someone would find it exciting to get rid of the other kind. I very much appreciate people's efforts to help me understand the thrill of purging.

[Caden Lane]

Again jess, you are awesome for taking time to learn and question without judging. Kudos to you.

In answer to your question; I think its a simple matter of a CD feeling constrained and limited for years, and feeling like society has them wedged into a corner. It can also be a simple matter of comfort as well, and your SO may be celebrating that shift in their life. The sudden ability to express oneself in one of the most secret, but feminine ways, can be liberating. Its her way of expressing herself in a feminine way all of the time, without necessitating the need to dress as a woman fully all of the time.

[TessaGirl]

I don't necessarily want to transition physically but all my male underwear went a few years ago. I don't do fancy lingerie though, just plain cheap black/white knickers. They seem more comfortable, but may not provide enough support for any strenous exercise, at least not without tight female shorts or something.

[Marcelle]

Male underwear . . . am I suppose to wear underwear when I am a guy :)

Just kidding . . .

Jess, I still have a drawer full of male underwear and don them when I am dressed "en boy" . . . I don't mix my femme and boy selves. However I think what you are looking at is a bit of right of passage in that the CDer who purges her male undies is in effect saying . . . I have achieved a milestone on my CD bucket list (no male undies and now it is panties from here on out). That would apply to the gals who profess to do so. Others as you have seen by this thread simply made the switch due to comfort (not what you were asking for).

I think it is akin to when someone posts about reaching a goal on her CD journey say ... going to a restaurant "en femme". Some could argue why do so if you don't have the notion to transition. However, it is not so much I went to a restaurant in a dress "now I want to be a woman" It is more "I have achieved a milestone in my journey . . . YAY!!" I think you are seeing the same thing with the undies.

Hugs

Isha

[Erica Anne]

I for one have not purged my male undies. Nor have I purged any of my male clothes. It matters not how far I am willing to go with my feminine side. There are moments that I do not dress, either the desire fades or I feel I had enough and time to repress for a while. There has to be a balance at some point.

I still have all my male attire, that reminds me I need to get some more since the one's I have are getting a bit worn out. I had once did purge all my male underthings except for the socks. That was long ago, then I realized that 24/7 was not always the best choice. Doing yard work, working on automobiles, or anything that has potential for injury.

The only records I manage on anything is my weight loss progress. I never did that before so it is interesting to track the results.
I cannot speak on behalf of your SO, nor should my comments apply. Everyone is different even if there are some behaviors that appear to be common ground. However, sometimes I may do bizarre things and regret it later. My wife did some really odd things too. We all have our different habits and traits, as to the reason why we do things sometimes we ourselves do not really understand.

[adrienner99]

It may mean he has a harmless fetish for women's underwear.

[JRZSHORE]

Not purged but certainly not growing like my panty drawers

[MaryBeth29]

Did it once, and it lasted for about 6 months. Then I realized I had a doctors appointment the following morning, panicked, and bought some male undies.