On a date?

[julie marie1]

I live near Chicago and would like to go on a date enfemme. That is, I would enjoy dinner and dancing (and possibly a nightcap). Is it naive of me to want such an experience without the expectation of sex?

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you are looking for a date with a man, specifically one who looks for trans girls, be careful. Many of those types of guys (albeit not all) might expect sex or at least on the second or third date.

[KristyE]

Just like a GG, taking a girl out for dinner and dancing does mean sex. Maybe you could just go out with a group of friends to get the same results with no expectations.
Love KristyE

[Marcelle]

Hi Julie,

Going to put on my "boy hat" here to answer this question. While there are lots of great guys our there (true gentlemen ... yes unlike the illusive unicorn they do exist) there are other not so nice guys. These not so nice guys (I know quite a few) might be expecting sex on the first date or at least the second. I like some of the advice given already, use caution and get to know the person first, go out with a group of friends or at least meet at a family restaurant (take a cab there so you not dependant on a ride home). If this is truly one of the good guys then he will wait until you are ready or will just enjoy the evening and go home.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

Isha is right. The good guys will wait and will be considerate of your feelings. :)

[noeleena]

Hi,

Yes i can go out on a date, and no doubt enjoy myself , being friends is one thing im not naive to not know that most men would wont more than just a night out with out a bedroom involved . before any one invited me out they would be told ill not be letting down my draw bridge to enter my keep.. in other words my skirt will not be lifted for any man,

Be very carefull before you get hurt,

...noeleena...

[Katey888]

Julie - I spend a very small amount of my time as Katey (at least materially...) - so I'm going to answer this from a more evenly proportioned male/female gender merge... I think ... :)

I've always like dating - the stimulation of exploring each other through conversation, humour, anecdotes. The opportunity to learn about someone intellectually, culturally, personally. I'm probably considered boring by some (watch it...!) but I think there is great pleasure to be gained from good company, pleasant surroundings (preferably luxurious.. :)), good food and wine, and a degree of intimacy. I don't think it's naïve of you to expect that someone else may also want that - but unfortunately that tends to be down to the other individual and what their expectations are.
While I've never been overtly interested in pursuing any non-GG, it has crossed my mind that it would be good to meet one or more - So what better circumstances than what you describe, particularly as I don't go out dressed, and I think that would quite an interesting combination: CD presenting as female + CD presenting as male ... and with a clear boundary.
Wouldn't that just be a GNO but with one of us in drab? We could talk about the same things that would presumably be shared interests - clothes, makeup, blending/ passing, whatever - and engage as two otherwise normal people in other aspects. I'm not sure about dancing in guy mode - I don't think I've really escaped from the Travolta era, and I'd have to be careful not to dance like a girl :heehee: - but other than that I think I can say I'd be prepared to do that with a clear understanding of the boundaries.
I wouldn't even need to deceive the wife! - "Who are you meeting for dinner, darling..?" "Just Bob from an internet forum I talk to - he's in technology marketing too..." - but the fact he's coming as Roberta need never be mentioned... :D

So the only remaining point would be: we split the bill, right? Like guys do...

But maybe that's not what you meant by 'date'... Maybe someone else then...? :devil:

Katey x

[Beverley Sims]

It is not naive, as you are aware of some peoples expectation.
I would go for a group outing, if you get to know someone then maybe you can single someone out.

[sherri]

Naïve? In a word, yes. Unless the dynamic is purely platonic, even good guys want sex and probably won't hang around long without it. (Of course, odds are high they wont' hang around long after they get it, either.) But as others have said, the better ones -- the ones worth your time -- will be patient for a little while. Unfortunately, they're rare as hens' teeth.

[Annaliese]

The boundaries need to be set from the start, Dating should never be about sex, it about getting to know someone.

[Barbie Anne]

I think you at first need to ask yourself what your expectations are then as others have said set those boundaries.
I like the Idea of going out with other cds that are in drab and maybe the next date switch it up.
However the point is moot as I'm happily married and she's all girl too :)
But yes in the past (with JUST friends) I've gone out and had a hell of a good time being me and was all a-flutter having doors held for me and dancing and such.

[KatieV]

Just a thought - you could be escorted by another crossdresser in male mode? That would most likely preclude the expectation of sex, and you would still have the pleasure of being seen in public, on his arm.

[Adriana Moretti]

The boundaries need to be set from the start,

Yea...I let it be known..."we can go out...but you are not getting any nookie"...the person that sticks around after that statement is usually the person you want as a friend anyway.

[Lorileah]

Is it naive of me to want such an experience without the expectation of sex?

Well, it would be unusual. I dated a guy for 4 months and he still had the expectation of sex even though he didn't get it. I am sure there are guys out there with altruistic motives...somewhere. Here is a sample of what I get.

I like girls with the extra..do you still have it? (2 times)

I like T******* because they like sex, want to hook up?

I would like to date you...for ONE night in a hotel room. actually had two men say this...they only wanted me for one night and the date wasn't a "date". I almost told them they could not afford me but both of them could have (and honestly if they had wanted me for a longer term relationship I would have jumped at the chance, they were HOT)

and then there is the

I want to go out with you, would you help me get dressed up? It isn't that they want me to date them, it is that they want to be like me or want me to train them (and have sex while doing it usually)