Inquiring Minds want to know

[FAB Forum Mods]

Years back we did an Inquiring Minds want to know thread where our GGs could ask questions especially our new GGs could get answers or input from others besides their partners. It was a big hit then and hope you will offer insight to their questions.
If a question does not apply please just put n/a

So here goes our first round of questions and thank you in advance for your input.

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

[Kim_Bitzflick]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I like to be as female as I can & the clothing helps to get me there.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Yes

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I like me as I am, but I am not sexually attracted to my female side. I am totally attracted to my wife no matter how I'm dressed.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. I prefer she refer to me as I am presenting.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? Tell her I love her and I thank her for her acceptance.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? Since she's known I've helped her dress more feminine. I help her pick out clothes more now and she helps me.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? Everything I can to make her feel pretty and show her I love her.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? NA

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? I don't do it.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? NO

[Barbie Anne]

1: Because it feels more natural...to me male close actually feel like the wrong garments for my gender.
2: Yes
3: More so. she's my goddess :)
4: I prefer to be referred to as feminine no matter how I'm dressed. She's just fine with this
5: I tell her. Communication is key.
6: n/a
7: I also support her in whatever way I can.
8: Yes
9: Puhleeeez.......blue? seriously? if it ain't pink, peach, rose or something similar, it don't go on this face :)
10: n/a because extremely happily married but no........it's not just about me ya know :)

[Katey888]

I'm assuming your asking this of all CD types - and will answer on that basis...

1) I wish I could properly answer this.. I feel driven to emulate the feminine gender... some of it is fantasy (reflecting how I would want a GG partner to look); some of it is that it simply feels right -although I spend more time in male attire that also doesn't feel wrong, for me; some of it has developed as a way to reflect a part of my persona that seems to be more feminine; also I'd admit to some narcissistic aspect as I like the way I can look - and I can look younger than I am.. (now I have a headache :))
2) I'm not open - I've never been open with anyone who has known me, although I wish I could be. I don't believe it affects my relationship badly - it's a secret that is my responsibility to keep, and I choose to have it that way for now. I don't honestly believe anyone who says they have no secrets from their SO... they may be non-deliberate, but there are still things that go unsaid.
3) If that means do I like my partner as much as my girl-persona, much more - the persona is part of me - it's not in competition with what I feel for my wife - that's above everything.
4)n/a
5)n/a
6)I am in the closet - and I want my wife to be her own person (she would anyway - very independently minded!) - that wouldn't change
7)n/a
8)n/a
9) See attached - good for brown eyes, and try to ignore the wrinkles and poorly positioned lashes :) (but probably a throwback to our developmental years - the 70s and 80s for me)
10) No - that's so shallow...

[Rachelakld]

1) it's part of who I am
2) Yes
3) Yes
4) No, I like to be the man when we are alone
5) Nothing in particularly special, just love her for the person she is.
6) umm, I like a can do attitude, so if she needs a low cut pair of overalls - fine :)
7) same as in 5
8) love waxing, feels like I'm more me.
9) HATE blue eye shadow, brown works my blue eyes better
10) nah, I like my GG hot and fully equipped in the brains and attitude dept.

[MsVal]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I'd like to begin with saying "Thank You" for asking these questions. Frank, honest, and open communications are necessary for understanding everyone's feelings.

To answer the unasked question: in my case, it is not sexual. I derive no sexual gratification from crossdressing.

I enjoy the textures, colors, and feeling of feminine clothing. Masculine clothing seems much too dull and predictable. If I walk into a room wearing a suit, there will be a dozen other guys wearing essentially the same suit, albeit with a different tie.

I like to express myself in ways that seem out of place, dissonant, coming from a man. Gentler, softer more empathetic, more ... uh ... feminine. In my mind, the dissonance is less coming from a man dressed as a woman, acting in a feminine manner as it does from a man acting in a feminine manner. It doesn't make sense, I know.


2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

We're new to this. After I realized what they were, I spent a couple months reading a bunch of things about my desires and disclosed them to my wife a couple months after that. It's been a couple months since then.

My wife has been under a great deal of stress at work, stress that will certainly end in the spring. I will initiate discussions at that time when the stress is gone. At this time, there is an awareness but no acceptance.


3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

Much more! My wife is wonderful; she always has been. She is the one I want to go with on vacations, play board games, talk about things, hug and cuddle. If I could, I would walk away from MsVal in a heartbeat.


4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

I can't yet answer that question from first hand experience, but I believe I would like to be addressed in a fashion that is consistent with my presentation.


5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

Each day I to be a better husband than I was the day before. I am the homemaker and I make sure her needs are met before any others. I tell her at least once per day how grateful I am that she puts up with me.


6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

N/A


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

(see #5)


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

N/A


9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

????

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

I don't envision a situation where I would be looking for another relationship.



Best wishes
MsVal

[Eryn]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
Feminine clothing and makeup have fascinated me all my life. Wearing them allows me to express myself in ways I find impossible in male mode. It also allows me to interact with people in a way different than normal male interaction.


2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
I am currently very open with my SO. Before I started to act on my "interests" I considered them somewhat perverse and therefore naturally did not share those with Mimi. When my CDing came to the fore I shared my feelings with her pretty soon after I started dressing actively.


3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
My male side is very attracted to my wife as it always has been. When I'm in girl mode we're attracted to each other in the mode of best friends. I'm not attracted to my own girl-side at all as I don't consider my male and female sides to be separate entities.


4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
If she is referring to my female side then she should use feminine terminology. For my male side, male pronouns will suffice.


5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I try to be the best husband that I can be. I try to make the upsides of being married to a CDer exceed the downsides.


6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
Before my CDing came to the fore, I would have really liked it if she took advantage of those feminine prerogatives so that I could experience my desires through her. Now that I'm actively CDing I can live many of them for myself so some of that pressure is off.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
As I said above, I try to be the best husband I can. Also, my CDing has brought with it a new group of friends and things to do with them. I think that this has greatly improved our quality of life. I'm also a calmer, less frustrated person now that I can actually do some of the things that I only dreamed of before.


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
I have pierced ears and quite a lot of facial laser and electrolysis. These are things that I can feel all of the time and they do help me when I must present as male. Selecting earrings, even if it is just to match a male shirt, is important to me in a way that a GG might not fully appreciate To me, it is a special gift to be able to do this. The electrolysis makes things convenient in male mode and in switching modes as I can use regular GG makeup, but beyond that I love the feeling of having smooth skin and not worrying about scratching Mimi with 5-o'clock shadow.


9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Most of us are in our 40s and up. Our first exposure to feminine things was in an era where the GGs around us wore, you guessed it, blue eye shadow. That apparently made a big impression on us. Personally, I prefer pinks, smoky, and metallics depending upon the event.


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
No. I don't think that any one-dimensional relationship would be successful.

[Raychel]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
I prefer the feel of womens clothes, I have been the same work clothes for 40 years
and I just like to get pretty

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes, Totally honest and open.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
Yes

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
I cant remember when the last time we were alone together, but
really there is no reason to change the way we discuss things, I am still the same guy

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I have to admit that I don't show her as often as I should, I am not the best that way and definitely could use some improvement in that area. Although very often I do tell her just how much I appreciate her accepting me for who I am.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
Absolutely, I would love for he to be dressed all pretty, Now she dresses the way she feels comfortable. So I am good with that as well.

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
Again, I should be sitting on the naughty step for this, Our communication has greatly
improved, but I a not the best that way, :sad: I really should work harder for her.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
Only thing that I do is shave, and yes there is times that it does make me feel more at
peace with myself, Times when I feel my shaved legs and think, I would rather be home all dressed pretty

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
No makeup, no eye shadow here.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
No, there is a lot more to a relationship then accepting of crossdressing.
Accepting would be a huge factor, but not the only factor

[LovelyGeek]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

To express my feminine side

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes I am

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

Yes!

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

I always prefer to be the man around her so that she feels like I am still the man she married. Although, she does help me with shopping and is supportive. But, it just makes me feel more comfortable being the man.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

I talk with her and let her know I appreciate it, and try to make her feel loved by showing it though her love languages: acts of service, and gifts. Dates, dishes, cleaning, etc.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

I love my ultra feminine wife. She just is a girly girl and I love that about her.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

I think the most important think I have done is come out to her about my CDing because she deserves the real me and we can grow together and be stronger if we are both complete in ourselves.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

I guess it may be easier because I am 26, but I have had my ears pierced since 19 and it has always been a style for me, and my wife never knew me before my ears being pierced. They are stretched to size 0 (10mm), and I think with the right ear rings it can look both really masculine or feminine. But, It does make me feel more at peace and I love having my ears pierced.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

I dunno. I have only worn eye shadow once and it was silver so...not quite sure.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Nope. There is more about a person than the way they dress. Just accepting someone who accepts you for that alone is not enough. Find a SO that is accepting, fun, you connect with, and who has a personality and values that mesh with yours.

- Much Love!
-CJ

[Marcelle]

Hello and in response to the inquiring minds at FAB4:

1. What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

Good question. If you are asking why or what drives me to so . . . sorry I can't answer that. However, I do so because if feels as right as it does when I am dressed in boy clothes.

2. Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes, my SO knows and is very supportive.

3. Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

Not sure what you are asking here? If you are asking me if I am attracted to myself when en femme . . . nope . . . seems a bit narcissistic to me and a tad creepy. However, I very attracted to my SO.

4. When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Actually, she refers to me by my "boy name" even if I am dressed and does not use gender appropriate references (girl, she, her). I have no issue with this as it is her thing and I won't ask her to change.

5. What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

The same thing I have always done even before she knew. Love, accept and respect her unconditionally.

6. Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels). Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

Not sure if this is a hypothetical question or not. I would be lying if I did not say I like it when my SO dresses sexy but it is not what does it for me. Do I still like here to dress sexy now that I am out . . . yup. Is it the beat all to end all . . . nope.

7. What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

I let her know I appreciate the support but I have always loved and respected my SO and that has never changed.

8. For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

I have had laser on my face and chest and it has helped with application of make-up. Do I feel more at peace . . . yes I do.

9. Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

Not sure

10. Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

Another hypothetical I assume? I suppose if I was starting a new relationship then acceptance would be a good thing. Would it be the only reason . . . no.

Hugs

Isha

[Annaliese2010]

Oh goody goody this'll be fun!

1) Because it seems the natural thing to do.

2) Yes, open & honest but welllll...she's not a SO just a GG friend. The GG I really like and in love with knows and doesn't approve, and if we got together again and married (which is what I want to do) I would drop suppress deny myself i.e. no more Annaliese. Believe me I would because she's Worth it!

3) She's not my 'partner' right Now, but I am attracted waaaay more so and turned on by Her than I am to myself. God!

4) My GG friend (not a true SO, nonetheless) strongly tends to relate to encourage and refer to me, my girly self whether dressed as such or in drab, irregardless. She's really easy to be with.

5) I love her to death, would do anything for her.

6) Yes I prefer her to dress ultra-sexy but she's not that type. Is sweet but not a girly girl. I think she's bisexual or lezzy, actually. Maybe that's why she likes me so much? IDK...I think she's attracted to me, Annaliese.

7) I give her my full attention when she talks or texts. Buy her nice things now and then for no obvious reason.

8) Guarded and careful not to reveal what's underneath but more more at peace I guess.

9) Don't use it even though I have blue eyes. I look better in earthy tones, so I'm told. So far I'm happy with it, looks good on me.

10) No. The GG I really want wouldn't accept my transgender thing - or maybe only now and then. Not sure. But whatever she wants, it would be perfectly ok by me. I love her.

[PaulaQ]

Is my input desired on this, or is it not useful, since I am trans?

[Christina Kay]

1) It helps expressing who I am

2) Now I am about my dressing,, regret hiding it for so long( not only did I deceive her , I deceived myself)

3) more attracted to my wife. My girl side is just who I am.

4) it depends on the conversation or moment to how she refers to me , I don't need to be dressed to be referred to with my feminine name.

5) Same amount of love and respect that I have always shown her. She doesn't want fusses made over this , but I still try to think out of the box and do more for her.

6) Have always admired her style and still do,,,though now I am realizing the seriousness of women and there perception of there body issues.

7) Just try to be more aware of the pink fog , but also try to communicate more so there is no misunderstandings .

8) Without a doubt I am so much more at peace with myself , and this makes my wife happier. As there is a calm to the house now, not the walking on eggshell feeling, she has commented on.

9) never tried it prefer natural tones myself.

10) no ,but it would be helpful, to the success of a long term relationship

Hugs Aretha:battingeyelashes:

[Jenniferathome]

1) need. Something innate. The result is a kind of stress relief.

2) I am. Since Mar'11. Prior to that my deception to her was causing me to gradually push her away. High stress and life dissatisfaction.

3) I am attracted only to my wife. I am not attracted to my girl self.

4) when out, for convention, I think it better to refer to me as she or Jennifer. If just my wife and I at home, she uses my male name and male pronouns.

5) I thank her

6) I did not have that opinion. My wife is who she is.

7) I talk to her more. But our foundation was really solid. Since coming out, it's just been better.

8) N/A

9) I can not understand this. I see no reason why cross dressers think blue might be ok.

10) no

[Miriam-J]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It helps me to express a part of me that can't stay hidden.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes, I've been open and honest with my wife about this since early on in our relationship.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I like to be in gal mode, but I'm not attracted to myself. On the other hand, I'm always attracted to my wife.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
We've worked through this, and tried for a while with her referring to me as 'she', etc. and by my name Miriam. But that seems to detract from the reality that it's the same me either way. In private I'm always me - a guy - no matter how I'm dressed. In public expression it's Miriam, a gal, just to keep from attracting unwanted attention.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I tell her frequently how much I appreciate her acceptance and her assistance.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
A wife that dresses stereotypically feminine? Not with wife #1 or this one. There are more important things. Not that I mind on those rare occasions when she does get femmed up though ;-)

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
She has her own special interests, and I've been more than supportive for those. But that just goes with loving her and caring about what she cares about, just as she does for me.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
I have pierced ears - was very nervous at first since very few engineers in their fifties seem to have them, but it turned out to be a non-event. I also had laser hair removal for my face, but that's not really noticeable since I haven't had a beard or moustache for years anyway. I definitely feel at peace with them in guy mode and enjoy the options when I'm in gal mode.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Not sure. I experimented with it early on, but since passed that along to my wife so she could use it. I use a much more subtle pallet that fits in to everyday life - my usual milieu for crossdressing.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
No way. There are so many things that are important to a relationship. But, after my divorce six years ago I made up my mind that I would never have another relationship where I had to hide something so important to me. It's not enough to make the relationship, but lack of acceptance would probably have been a deal breaker.

Miriam

[scarletcd]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
Because I don't identify myself as Male and wearing feminine clothing lets me express me real persona

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes: Told her before we started dating as I'd done the whole telling the person half way through the relationship and it just didn't work. So was upfront and honest and it worked

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
She is everything to me and I attempt to make myself look as attractive as I can for both of us.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
I prefer her to use female words as much as possible but I don't get annoyed if she uses male ones.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
Be honest and true to her :)

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
We try to let each other be who we want to. She could wear anything and she would still be everything to me

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
I do what I can, She works incredibly hard job wise so I just try and make things as stress free as possible. And as we lived far away from all her girl friends I would always be on call if she ever needed that girly time.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
Definitely. Since being more open and making some of these changes its almost like the more repressed boy personality has been replaced by the more outgoing friendlier and happy femme me.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Urgh

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Nah

[Eryn]

Is my input desired on this, or is it not useful, since I am trans?

I see nothing limiting responses to CDers, and I'm interested in your insights. Jump on in!

[MissTee]

1) Something in me compels me to do so, and I feel at peace with myself when I oblige the calling.

2) Yes, and she is very supportive.

3) No. I'm simply attracted to my wife.

4) Hmmm. She see's me as the same person, only in different clothes. Therefore, nothing is different and I really don't have a preference.

5) We spend a lot of time together enjoy shopping, going to spas, getting manis and pedis, cooking, crafting. She tells me I'm like the gay friend she never had, except without the gay parts.

6) She's always known about my CD-ing, so nothing changed.


7) In many ways I demonstrate that I value her. She reciprocates.

8) N/A

9) Beats me. Never wore it.

10) Absolutely not. Acceptance would have to be a part of a package, but alack of acceptance would be a deal breaker.

[Jacqueline Winona]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I wish I knew, I've always enjoyed doing so. No clue why the clothing feels so good.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Yes, to the extent she wants to know. She has literally told me "I don't want to know," and I respect that. Having said that, she knows I have panties and hose in my drawers, borrows my pantyhose when she wants, and I have skirts, dresses and blouses hanging in our closet, and heels in plain site.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? Much, much, much more. I'm not really attracted to myself. Doesn't mean once in a blue moon I might think I look alright, but no physical or sexual attraction to myself.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. I honestly don't care that much, she doesn't refer to me as a girl except on very rare occasions, though.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? Thank her- recently she gave me some of her panties that she didn't want and 4 pairs of trouser socks (nylon, of course!). And try not to remind her about the dressing as she prefers not to think about it.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? I still get an incredible rush when she dresses like that! No, I don't expect it but when she does, it isn't necessarily in her comfort zone and I absolutely adore it.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? Hmm, try to give her my opinion on what looks great on her, encourage her to enjoy getting her nails done (one of her fave things), never criticize her retail therapy, support her in her endeavors (but remind her we're still a team and I can't do it all alone), try not to spend much on my girly side.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? N/A

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? No idea! Not my thing.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? Assuming of course that I wasn't already happily married? I don't think so, there has to be more than just that (compatibility isn't based only on dressing). Would it be a huge reason why? Well, it was, so yes.

[Mistyjo]

1. I feel alive
2. Yes
3.Yes
4.she already does
5.I tell her Thank you for letting me be me
6. still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy
7.I love her with all my heart and soul everyday
8.Yes
9.n/a
10.No

[PaulaQ]

I'll preface my answers with the note that I'm a MtF transgender woman, currently undergoing transition. I live as a woman fulltime now. I've been on HRT for six months. My ultimate plan is to have sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), aka "the surgery" as soon as is humanly possible after I've been on HRT for a year.

I'll answer the questions as I can, from the standpoint before transition, and after transition.

If any of my answers spur further questions on your part, please either PM me with your questions, or ask one of the moderator's to do so. I'm happy to be of service.


1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
Because I'm a woman, so what else would I wear? Before I came out and started transition, the need to wear women's clothing was a deep, deep need I felt to express something inside of me.


2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
No, I was not initially. I hadn't cross dressed in years before we got together, and it wasn't until years after our marriage that this started again. When I finally came out to her, it essentially ended our marriage. We separated within 4 months, and I began my transition immediately.


3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I know there is a tendency to view "the girl-side" as "the other woman", but at least in my case, I have never viewed it that way. "the girl-side" of me was, I thought at first "just a sexual fetish", until I realized, to my horror, that it *IS* me. I am a woman, and always have been. They man my wife fell in love with is largely something I constructed to keep myself safe - I grew up in the 60's and 70's in a particularly hostile part of the country. Hiding was really my only option.

I have always been attracted to my partner. That our marriage has ended breaks my heart. I never wanted this.


4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Once I was out to her, I'd have preferred she refer to me as "Paula" or use feminine pronouns when referring to me. Sadly, my wife is unable to do that to this day, and indeed, at this point, hasn't seen me present as female in more than half a year. I *am* a woman - I *am* Paula.


5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
Once I came out. I tried buying her gifts. I tried to make sure I presented as male all the time around her, only CDing when she was asleep or away from home. I tried to spend extra time with her, take her on date nights, things of that sort to try to find a way for her to accept my "feminine side" (I didn't really understand at the time how much "feminine side" there was.) I tried to not talk about it all the time.

It didn't matter ultimately - she never really accepted this about me.



6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

I never insisted that my wife dress ultra sexy, especially in public. My wife has a great sense of style, and wears clothing that looks GREAT on her body. I'd rather she wore stuff that looked great on her, and that she was comfortable wearing with her body than "ultra sexy" stuff that just didn't work. She has fantastic taste in shoes anyway, and that went a long way! :)

I did wish she would have worn lingerie more in private when we were together, but she was never really comfortable enough with her body to do that very often. Obviously *I* wanted to wear it too - but of course I never told her that, not until much, much later! (Telling her really helped kill our sex life, too - I regret ever doing that.)


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

This one isn't really applicable. After coming out, I went through some counseling with my wife as a couple, and encouraged her to seek individual counseling as I myself had already been doing.

I considered (with some futility as it turns out) steps less than full transition to possibly save SOME aspect of the relationship. I didn't want to lose our 20 years of relationship, and I really did want her support.

It never really mattered, I don't think she saw much benefit to supporting me, or she never did really support me anyway. From her point of view, since I'm now transitioning, I understand why she'd see no such benefit, although it saddens me that she more or less left me to live or die on my own. (The latter was a real possibility for some time.)


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?


The first physical change - and really the only one that I went through while still with my wife, was waxing my body hair. My body hair bothered me ENORMOUSLY, and caused me quite significant gender dysphoria - I felt as if I had some horrible fungus growing all over my body. It was a nightmare. (BTW, this alone should have been proof enough that I wasn't "just a CD".) Anyway, this simple step - and keeping it gone via epilation - made me feel ENORMOUSLY better. It was way more significant for me than being "more at peace." I was definitely more at peace - but that really is only the tip of the iceberg. My body hair made me miserable.

My wife couldn't touch me after this step - she needed to drink in order for us to have sexual relations after I did this.


9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Well, OK, I have blue eyes, so blue eye shadow should really bring them out, right? So I played around with it like so many others here - but I never could find a way to do all blue without looking just awful. So I mostly use blue as an accent color in the corner of my lids, over a more neutral base, a gray, or a brown, or even a pale yellow / sand color. That actually works pretty well.


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
No. Accepting in my case would involve a GG who was a lesbian - as I am a woman, and will eventually be one anatomically. I wouldn't be with someone just because they weren't repulsed by me, nor completely rejected me. There would need to be a connection.

I'm going to be really honest here, and I suspect some of you won't like this answer either - but I don't know that I'll ever go into a relationship with a GG again. I'm very attracted to other transgender women, and frankly we understand one another in a way that you simply NEVER will understand us. EVER. Even if you are the most loving, accepting, tender, empathetic GG on the earth - you'll simply NEVER understand what I've gone through. NEVER.

That's not to say I categorically would never date a GG again. It could happen, it just seems really unlikely. She'd need to be someone with an exceptional spirit. (I care a whole bunch more about what's on the inside of a person than what's on the outside.) The relationships in my life with GG's have been just all really painful, and have ended badly. I just don't think I want to do that again. It would take a really exceptional woman - someone with a really beautiful soul before I'd try again.

BTW, I have the good fortune, on this forum, to talk with a number of GG's who I considered to have such a spirit. They've been quite distant from me, and I haven't been in a position to have a relationship anyway (and they've been in other relationships with a CD already), but had they lived nearby to me, and been interested, I'd have dated them in a New York Minute. You genetic women on this forum who are accepting really are exceptional and rare women, and many of you truly do have beautiful spirits, in my opinion.

_______________________

Again, feel free to PM me if you have additional questions, even if they are of the form "You monster! How could you DO THAT to YOUR FAMILY!?!?!?" I answer all PMs, and you'd be surprised how sympathetic I am to your situation and feelings.

[Jesse Six]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It makes me feel happy and free. It's a form of feminine self-expression.


2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes, my wife knows, but she only found out recently. We talk about it openly, and shop together, but I'm somewhat apprehensive in letting her see me dressed.


3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I'm very attracted to my wife. I'm not sexually attracted to my femme side (I don't consider her a 'separate' being - she's "just me". I don't know if it's possible to be sexually attracted to oneself).


4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
Since I don't make a habit of displaying my femme side to my SO, I prefer that she calls me male names / pronouns.


5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I talk to her about it, trying to gauge her feelings, just to be sure some aspect of my CD doesn't freak her out. I tell her that I care about how this affects her, that I'm not just doing this on my own, and we're still a couple.


6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

I still very much like her to be sexy (always did). To my extreme satisfaction, my SO started taking better care of herself ever since I came out. Our sex / romantic life has actually been better since then, even though it doesn't specifically include my femme side.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
I've been more attentive to her romantically ever since I came out, out of gratitude, and out of concern that she may be feeling 'replaced'. We're feeling honest and happy together lately, so I guess it's working.


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
It's a mixed feeling. I do want to be able to present a masculine image at work, but I also feel a strong desire to include a few 'semi-secret' feminine touches (longer nails, pierced ears, shaved arms, etc.). The feminine elements bring me great personal satisfaction, but also some stress at the possibility of being outed.


9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
If you believe the makeup websites, blue eyeshadow supposedly compliments brown eyes (which are, I'm assuming, fairly common). Personally, I've had trouble making blue shadow look subtle enough to wear seriously.


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
I'm not planning on ending my current marriage anytime soon.
Hypothetically, if I were single, I'd definitely be looking for the 'whole package'. It's tricky to make a marriage work successfully, so it's crucial to choose someone with whom you have a lot more in common.

[Anna H]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I wish I knew. It feels "right", but I have no idea of how to explain that.


2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes, fully.


3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

Her...Far more. I'm just myself, I don't change.


4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

I'd feel odd if she used female words in referring to me. She may too...(?)


5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

We're both used to it. We're just our usual selves.


6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

N/A...but she loves dressing up (girly/fancy) herself. We both do.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

We've always communicated Very well....we just accept each other and get along Great.


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

Pierced ears...yep, I like it that way. I'll get a little pink bow tattoo one of these days. :happy:


9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

Grew up when it was 'normal'. I still like it, though I don't do it. I don't want to get kicked out of CDLand!


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

She'd have to know up front. Else, the necessity to be myself may possibly cause future problems. N/A for me though...

♥

[Teresa]

Ok FAB4 here goes:-
1) Started as sexual, now just feels good.
2) She knows but DADT leads to deception, hurt and resentment.
3 )Sadly now my girl side gives me more pleasure.
4) This situation would probably never arise.
5) I try to keep the house in order and help with the children and grand children.
6) I would hate it if my wife let herself go because of my CDing, she is attractive but never dressed ultra-sexy, she dresses well for her age.
7) Not enough but DADT is all the support I get.
8) No changes but feel more at peace dressed.
9) I thought blue was out of date !
10) I would have to say yes, none acceptance is soul destroying.

[Zylia]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
I have a transvestic disorder and I have decided to embrace it instead of trying to fight it.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
n/a

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I was more attracted to my partner(s) at the time because they were real persons with emotions, humour, intelligence, etc. My girl side is me in a wig.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
No. I have made the decision not to (permanently) change my gender. I'm a guy at heart and a thin layer of clothing and makeup does not change that one bit. If he or she is more comfortable with thinking of me as two different persons and refer to me accordingly (i.e. as a woman when I'm 'en femme') I'm OK with that, but it does weird me out a little, also on this board. I would never request it.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I'm not in a relationship right now, but I would just do the same things I always do to show how much I care for my partner in the first place. I don't think that acceptance should be subject to some kind of transaction. You obviously do need to agree on the amount of time (and money) spent on cross-dressing.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
I get what you're trying to ask here, but for me my cross-dressing habit would never be a replacement for anything in my relationship, only an augmentation.

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
n/a

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
n/a

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
You tell me. Perhaps it's because all the female cartoon characters have this as a gender marker as well. I think it's part of the SO's job to prevent their cross-dressing partner from making these kind of mistakes :D

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the [-]GG[/-] partner is accepting?
No, but it certainly would be of some importance, not just because I want to have time for my little hobby, but because it tells me what kind of person he or she is and what they're looking for in a relationship. I'm always looking for a right balance between freedom and commitment, personal life and 'family' life. If those things turn out to be incompatible so be it.

[Teddie]

1) It's just me. The clothes feel good. Makeup is wonderful.
2) Yes. She'[s very accepting of it.
3) Yes
4) At times she does.
5) Flowers, candy, presents.
6) She's not the ultra-sexy type, but is very feminine and continues to be, and I love it.
7) Just being me. Loving her, and letting her be herself. We share and share alike.
8) Yep. My ears are pierced and keep the body hairless. And, it makes me feel good knowing I'm closer to my fem side.
9) Not me.
10) No. It takes more than that to make a lasting and loving relationship.

[Laura912]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
Because this started before age 6 or 7 when I had no knowledge of why it was happening, I can only say now that dressing takes me to a very peaceful place and feels natural.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Knows, teases me, helps me and makes it more comfortable.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? Been married 48 years so absolutely. She did not know for the first 15 to 20 years.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
Refer to me according to the dress.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? Thank her and do all the other things that one does for a wife of 48 years.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
Still like the sexy look on her even at age 71.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
She has a health issue that I help her deal with.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
Yes.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? Something all the sexy women wore eons ago but looks trashy on me!

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Absolutely not.

[mykell]

OK Fab 4 here goes, from a fifty year perspective...

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

its evolved, but its more fun than my clothes.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

just recently 5 weeks,

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

just having more time for my girl side and being the most accepting ever since joining the group im attracted to this visual side of me, but my partner is so much more.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

not at that point, but i believe we would just talk to each other the same.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

still new so i just try to be more myself. hope that makes sense.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

i am more girly when dressed, she was never that stereotypically feminine, she just wears what she wants.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

since joining the forum i have gone back to basics so to say. i would cuddle more and not expect a prize, talk more, ask how she feels, more hugging, kissing, but i feel in general that as time goes by many get complacent and take the relationship for granted. an example would be im ten minutes from the beach, when i go in the morning to sit and have coffee i see all the people who have come from other countries and states taking photos as its foreign to them, me its just another day.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

for me i would like to shave my body hair and do a nice transformation photo shoot before i get any older, nothing permanent, not having to shave my face would be sweet though, just a general PIA.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

in one of my photos it looks blue, it was actually green, bought it to match my hazel eyes.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

not really a concern for me, but i am jealous of those here who start off on the right foot, but to choose a partner based on that alone would be foolish....

did i win the consultation prize for my answers ??

[Jaylyn]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I love the feel of the undergarments and love to dress sexy. The hose heels and for some reason I feel refreshed by them.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes she has known since we were married

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
More to her than ever she's my Soul Mate.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
Only hen we are both dressed does she sometimes tease me with calling me come on gal. Or fix your lipstick sweetie.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
She has known I love it for so long it's just accepted and kind of like our love we know each other has for the other we accept each other totally. I still buy her surprise gifts and always have.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
A little of both I understand now why she doesn't want to wear tall heels everyday all day... Lol yes I like her her to be sexy. And have her nails done.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
Probably not as much as I should except sometimes we find matching lipsticks or a top in both our sizes and buy lots of panties and when I underdress we sometimes say we have on our special undies. I tell you she is my other half she completes me and she says I do the same for her.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? N/A

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Well I used to use dark blue eye shadow as I was dressing sexy and truly for a sexual fantasy with a sexual release maybe in mind. My wife has dressed like a hooker for me in our playtime and I have dressed as one when she is not around for reasons already stated..... A light blue is really not all that bad if you can blend it with white and brown.
10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
No because I'm in one with her 100% accepting. Love must be involved for me and I have that one trait already.

[LadyInRed]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
because I like being pretty and sexy

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
yes, not worth the problems that lies cause

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
yes

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
the clothes make the woman

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
bought her some gift certificates, outfits and items so she can feel pretty too

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
honestly I like it when my wife looks pretty

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
bought her some gift certificates, outfits and items so she can feel pretty too


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
I've had my ears pierced since I was 16 & yes

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
I prefer gold, however I think if you watch My Girl (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102492/quotes) they have a good answer to that, "you can never wear enough blue eyeshadow"


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
no, life is too short to not be happy, that being the only reason isn't enough, and her being not accepting is a deal breaker

[Karen kc]

1> I like the softness of the clothes and looking as pretty as I can
2> yes and glad I did
3> yes much more
4> It doesnt matter to me
5> I tell her how much I love her and thanks for understanding and loving the way I am
6> yes
7> proven to her what I told her
8> n a
9> have nary an idea
10> no

[PretzelGirl]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

1) For me, it is the innate female feelings I have. I am on a discovery path of who I am and am relatively fulltime outside of work.


2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

2) I pretty much have been open with her from the start. There was a little trying on some clothes and when it became more than that, I talked with her and we worked boundaries. The boundaries were open for discussion every now and then and as she had time to take things in, the boundaries lessened. Because of this way of working through it, we never had a relationship issue.


3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

3) Lol. I am pretty ugly. No, I married her. Attraction is a lot of things and all I have to do is stare in her eyes and I feel all the reasons I am attracted to her.


4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

4) She can call me whatever she wants. Well, nothing hateful I guess. When we are alone, what does it matter? We are communicating. Now when we are out, I prefer the femme references. Even then she will slip with the "my husband" references. I just laugh. It isn't deliberate and you should never get mad at someone who is loving and trying.


5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

5) I don't necessarily think that there should be anything special. What I should be doing is making sure she gets her share of the marital attention. That our relationship grows and we both get our share of the good times. This has nothing to do with what I wear and everything to do with us sharing a life together.


6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

6) I don't want my wife to be anything she doesn't want to be. I love her as she is and love her enough to let her grow as she wishes. If she wants to do that, it is her choice. If she doesn't, then all is still right.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

7) Again, a relationship should be mutually supporting. So this can be shown in a variety of ways in life. If you don't grow as a couple, it can be just as dangerous as having negative things inserted into the relationship.


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

8) It is a mix for me. I grew my hair long and I enjoy that in both modes. I had my ears pierced, but even though I wear earrings in guy mode, I don't have any sensation from them, so they get forgotten. But they are part of my "hippie" personality. I have also done laser/electrolysis and in guy mode is just means that my wife doesn't get red around the lips from stubble when kissing. :D That is a little bit of a joke with us as she was okay with me shaving my long running mustache off as long as I didn't have stubble.


9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

9) I take the blue eye shadow as a big joke.


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

10) Not on your life. What a great way to have a bad relationship.

[reb.femme]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It was always a tactile thing - I still love the softer / lighter feel of my girl clothes.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes. She has known for almost 2 years. I tell her if I'm buying anything new.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I'm only attracted to my wife, not me. She still rocks my boat, regardless of my presentation.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
She would find it very difficult to use feminine pronouns for me. I’m OK with that.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I tell her I love her, several times, every day, but I always have done.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Not my wife at all. She doesn't wear makeup, except on very rare occasions, is not into sexy slinky clothes or heels. However, she has always been good looking without this.

Once you came out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
n/a

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
We talk, been together 40 years so I can’t be doing too much wrong…..can I? I know that she does not need to feel the benefit of supporting me. I did buy her a matching coat just last year when she was acting as my personal shopper.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
n/a

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Strangely, I haven’t got blue eye-shadow but the flash in pictures makes my purples look blue. I like purples and plum with my green eyes, just for info.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
n/a

[Ina Girdle]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I started my fascination / interest at 5 or 6 years old. I don’t know why. I am an underdresser, I have no interest in presenting fully, or ever going out in public. I am a barrel chested, burley man and I could not pass (en-femme) even if I wanted to, thus looking in the mirror & taking photos of myself has NO interest to me. I am fascinated with lingerie and being a child of the sixties, in particular what my wife terms “industrial strength”, foundation garments. Once puberty hit, it became entangled with sex and allot of extra baggage. Now it is about more than sex. When I am wearing my lingerie, it fills me with a sense of well-being. The joy of being in your fifties, I find you can cut through allot of what you think other want and just enjoy life. I guess we all fear looking back and saying “If only I had done what I really wanted to do”.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

I wasn't for the first 10 years of our marriage, but then I had repressed and denied being a CD'er for most of that time. Once I discovered this forum almost a year ago and saw that there were so many others with very similar life experiences as me, I was able to admit what I was to myself and shortly after that felt compelled to explain to my wife. Firstly I apologized and asked for her acceptance. It was a pretty safe bet for me, as I know her so well and am so lucky she is a very caring and understanding person.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I am not attracted to my girl side, for me I don’t have a girl side, I am just me, a guy who really enjoys lingerie, both on my wife and myself. I am very much attracted to my wife!!

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Again, in my case, I do not try to present in public or private. I am the same person she fell in love with (and I her),15 years ago….I have been that person all along. Just did not practice or talk about Cross Dressing, but it was always there behind the scenes. I want her to talk to ME, not some alter ego that enters the room when I do wear certain articles of clothing.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

I thank her often. I respect her viewpoints. Stay within our mutually agreed to boundries. I try to joke about our situation and let her know that she needs to let me know if she is or gets uncomfortable with it.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

No changes there, my wife is a very beautiful woman and I have always enjoyed and been intrigued by her. My wife is also a very intelligent woman and that is another aspect that I have always cherished and admired about her.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

Keep doing what I have always done, be a considerate and kind partner. We make a great team and we support each other.

8) Not Applicable

9) Not Applicable

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

Never. My wife is my love and my best friend and we are equal partners. Sex is only one part of the equation.

[Lorileah]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
because I can't be naked, I like the clothes and I look good in them


2)now n/a when I had a S/O they both knew

3) Are you attracted to your partner... That should not even be a question. Anyone who isn't attracted to their S/O than themselves just proves how selfish some here can be


4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), . yes


5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? n/a


6)
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

my wife never was an ultra feminine woman even though she looked marvelous when she would dress up. My GF never dressed down. I never saw her in anything baggy or sloppy. About if I cared what they wore...nope

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? n/a


8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? It just is (was)....


9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? it is mod, and totally groovy


10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? nope. but I would not go into a relationship where the GG doesn't accept everything about me

[DorothyElizabeth]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? Ilike the way softer fabrics feel both on my skin and as they drape.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? n/a, however, when dating, I always tell them no later than the second date.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I am not attracted to myself.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. I explain to my dates that when I am with them, they may refer to me by either name, as they feel comfortable

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? I do not have an "s/o" bu I often thank my friends for accepting me as I am - the whole enchilada.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels). I have always liked my wives to be comfortable in how they were dressed. So sometimes that meant "girly" and sometimes that meant wearing flannel shirts, baseball caps and jeans.

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? As I say, I want my partner to wear what she finds comfortable. ife is too short to dress only to please others.

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? n/a

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? n/a

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? I don't wear it. When I wear eye makeup, which isn't often, I stick to colors and shades within my skin tone palette.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? No; that is not sufficient reason for a long term committed relationship, but I would not enter into one wherein she was not accepting.

[Princess Grandpa]

1) I'm sorry I have no freaking idea why I need to do this. When I have the opportunity to dress it brings on a sense of.... I don't know it makes me happy!

2) my wife was with me when the blinder of denial came off of my eyes. The only secrets I kept from my wife was what I'm getting for birthday.

3). I am far more attracted to my wife. *giggle* Rita is homely at best.

4). I am not overly concerned with pronouns. When she refers to me as she it makes me smile but I'm still just a little uncomfortable with she/her. I don't truly identify as female. Sometimes I fear it comes off as if I'm mocking the TS girls who are just trying to survive while I'm playing.

5) my wife's acceptance and support of Rita, while monumental, is fairly low on the list of things I have to be grateful to her for. I have tried to devote my life to making hers better and she has done the same for me. (When we weren't wanting to kill each other)

6) I have always encouraged her to do as she felt she wanted with her looks. I'm a big fan of long hair. Of late she chose to go short. /shrug it's her hair.

7) OMG does she like having Rita around. We shop together, we get mani/pedis when we can afford it. When we can't we do each other. *giggle* NAILS we do each other's nails. And the list goes on and on.

8) a resounding yes

9) it matches my blue dress. *giggle* Julie and I have discussed this very topic. No clue. I'm really fortunate to have her help with make up. Probably i wouldn't have messed with it were it not for her

10). Should something happen between Julie and I, I doubt seriously I would be interested in another relationship. Should I feel differently after time, acceptance of Rita would be mandatory, but not enough on its own. There would need to be more to love than doing my eye liner.

Hug
Rita

[Jennifer Kelly]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I am fascinated by women and want to explore their world.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes. I came out to her a couple of months ago.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I'm not sure I understand the question. Sometimes I think I look cute as Jennifer, but I'm not attracted to her.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Our relationship is DADT (don't ask, don't tell). So she doesn't ever want to see me dressed or even talk about it that much. She wants me to be all man when we are together.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

Whenever we do discuss Jennifer, I make it a point to tell her how much I love her (my SO that is) and how grateful I am that she didn't run for the hills when I came out to her.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

She doesn't really dress this way most of the time so it's non-issue. Jennifer is way more girly in that respect than she is. :)


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

Our arrangement is DADT, so this doesn't really apply.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

All I've really done in this regard is shaving my legs, pits, and chest. And I only generally shave my chest when I'm going out or when I'm taking pics in outfits that make it necessary because she likes what little chest hair I do have. I also will trim my arm hair when going out. I would like to get my ears pierced some day but haven't brought that up to her yet.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

I don't know. My SO asks me this too but I don't own any. Apparently that's a thing with most CD's, but I never heard that until recently. I grew up in the 80's so it would seem a normal thing to wear, but apparently it's like hanging a sign around your neck that says "crossdresser", especially during the day. I have some purple eye shadow, but no blue. I was looking to get some, but after hearing so much about only crossdressers wearing it anymore, I'm staying away. :)

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

No, that's a huge bonus but there needs to be more than that.

[luca]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I honestly feel happy inside when I do. I'm not sure how to describe it but when I do I just feel like it's okay to like feeling pretty, even if I am not so particularly good looking in these clothes(specifically I feel good being able to express the part of me that thinks it should be okay for someone of any gender to wear pretty things and colors).

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes, and if I weren't then I have an SO who will get it out of me anyways. For a while at the start I was, but I also just didn't know how to share yet. And it's something I am always trying to work on (not that I am excused for having deceptive behaviors).

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I am always most attracted to GREENIE. I mean c'mon, she's so hot!

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

No feminine pronouns at all. I am a man in a dress, and even while dressed I have the same name as I do in masculine clothing.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

I try to be accepting of her limits and the ever swinging pendulum first and foremost. I'd like to think that I am a more helpful person around the house, but I still have a ways to go there (and a partner should be helpful around the house without some incentive like dressing anyways).

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

I love it when she puts effort into looking nice, she actually does that more now because she has a proper office job where she can dress up more instead of working for Starbucks like she used to. That and I still like dressing up as her handsome dapper man too.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

I've been slowly becoming the happier more confident person that she knew was there, getting better at communicating, becoming more understanding and patient towards her needs. Basically I am slowly (slowly but surely) just becoming a better person and partner.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

N/A

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????

It's a pretty color that is noticeable without making you feel like you stand out as a gaudy CDer (basically convincing ourselves that we are more feminine without having to look like we are trying too hard). My theory anyways.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

N/A

[Christen]

1)
It gives me pleasure, always has, always will.
2)
Not as open and honest as I want to be. The deception places stress on me, but that's it.
3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I love my wife, she is my rock. Do I love my girl-side, course I do, I'm vain as hell, but I love my wife more.
4) Never been in this situation.
5)Treasure her!
6)I love my wife to look wonderful, which she does. She's got fantastic taste.
7)Spend more time together, we have a weekly date day (I work weekends). Spoil her when I can.
8)Hasn't happened.
9) Very few girls in the world can get away with blue eyeshadow. Mauve I can do, natural shades are better for me, I think.
10) No.

[Donnagirl]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
I find it relaxing, mildly erotic, a little thrilling but generally because it feels right.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Totally honest... There are ups and downs, acceptance and argument, highs and lows.... I don't think the relationship would survive deception.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I don't think my 'girl side' would come between us... I am, and have been for over 20 years attracted to my wife.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.)
Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
She uses the feminine pronouns only in argument, when she has reason to be angry with me for any number of reasons...

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I'm trying to think of anything specific to 'acceptance'... I just try hard to make the relationship work regardless of rhyme or reason.


6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
She has stopped wearing anything ' ultra sexy', or even sexy.. I own the skirts and dresses, high heels and lingerie...


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
I have worked hard to earn a good wage and provide for the family... Don't think my dressing has an input. That is just me!!

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
NA for me... I'm lucky to have no body hair (sadly not much on my head either)... I would like to pierce ears but don't want to risk works reaction... Maybe one day....

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
Don't know... Not my shade....

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Maybe I lucky but my relationship is built on more than that... Acceptance, variable as it is is nice but not the deciding factor...

[Roberta Lynn]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It just feels right

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
My wife of 47 years has known about my CDing since before we were married

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I like how I look, how I feel when I’m dressed, but I’ve never been attracted to myself. My wife has always been, and still is the light of my life.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
My wife always calls me by my given name no matter how I’m dressed. She sill sees ‘me’ no matter what I’m wearing. I’m fine with that.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I make sure she knows her ‘guy’ will always be there when she needs him. I can dress just about as much as I want. I try to keep it in perspective with what is important to me. There are times when I need to be husband, father, grandfather that just doesn’t need to include a dress and a pair of heels.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
NA

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
My wife says that when I’m dressed my personality ‘softens’ a little. I’m calmer, less quick to anger, even listen better. I try to keep these traits no matter how I’m dressed.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
NA
9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
It helps offset the big purple bags under my eyes :D

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Having your loved ones accept you is perhaps the Holy Grail for many of us CDers. Relationships are built on many levels, Having a GG that is accepting is good start but if that is all there is, if the GG is getting nothing out of the relationship, it will fail.

[Helen Grandeis]

1. It is a thrill that totally energizes me and makes me feel alive. Recently, I drove to Chattanooga, TN from Michigan in one day. It was surreal how alert I w as throughout the many hours of driving. There is definitely a sexual component to it. This sexual side is more potent than Viagra. It may in fact be the whole picture.

2. Before the first reveal, I embarked on my "value added husband campaign". Reveal 1 was totally premature but in retrospect it wouldn't have made a difference.
During reveal #1, I disposed of an impressive collection of clothing that filled the back of our minivan. I characterized it as destroying my ability to cross dress not as a total purge. She saw it as a total purge. Reveal #2 stated that I had a big hole in my heart over not cross dressing. Her reply was that my saying that made a hole in her heart. Her premise is that am evading my responsibility as a man by dressing and denying my devine nature as a male. She struggled for days. We talked gently in little bits. I thought that her love and concern for me would override her strong revulsion and Mormon doctrine. She actually checkout out this forum and several other good sites. Then she found a church talk from twenty years ago and the Code of Behavior for Brigham Young University. This galvanized her with Devine purpose to save my eternal soul. The understanding was clear. She feels it is wrong and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. In reveal 3, I threw out attendance at monthly CD events. She said that her views have never changed. she will never endorse my CD in any degree. She refuses to go to counseling because all the counselors would not endorse her view that CD is evil.

3. N/A. I only relate to my wife in male mode. She would be totally repulsed seeing Helen.

4. N/A.

5. I have my ongoing "value added husband" campaign where I tried to take all of my wife's various issues and thoughtfully resolve them. Other than renouncing CD, I am a consciously better husband. This has included taking great care of her during the recovery from a total rebuild of her foot. This is why we survived the violation of her trust inherent in Reveals 2 and 3. I have made her feel loved and that she couldn't live without me in spite of the nagging issue that I will never bring up directly again.

6. I liked my wife dressed. Now she has avoided sexy nightwear for fear that it will tempt me. This is starting to change for the better. My wife is a sharp dresser. I emulate her and my mother.

7. There is zero support and zero tolerance. My "value added husband" efforts are unwavering and unconditional. We pray together twice a day. I read the Book of Mormon to her every night. I am very conscious of my tone of voice and volume. I do numerous thoughtful and kind things.

8. My legs are totally hair free due to Tria laser. I really like it. I am working on being beard free. This is to make the switch back and forth quicker and more effortless. I would love to have pierced ears but will wait to the very end before I do that .

9. N/A.

10. In the unlikely event, I become a widower my first choices for female companionship would be people I have known for many years. I would tell them almost on the first date. A high degree of acceptance and even participation. Hopefully I will never know the answer to this.

[samantha rogers]

1/ Hard to say. There was a time I thought is was sexual. Now, as that part of me has been fairly well...reduced...hmmm. Because it feels right. I feel more myself dressed. I feel whole.

2/ I wasn't, not at all. Not for many years. Now I am. That also helps with the "wholeness" thing.

3/ yes. More so but in a different way. Our sex life has diminished but she is my closest friend on Earth. I would happily take a bullet for her. Spending time with her is more important to me than anything. Not sure if that answers your question. Sorry, best I can do.

4/ She knows, and is doing well so far, but this is new and still difficult for her. She has never seen me dressed and is not yet ready to, though she has seen the slow changes to my body. For me, well, I don't care how she refers to me as long as it is with love.

5/ I love her (love here used as a verb not a noun). I listen to her, I support her emotionally as best I can. I try to help around the house. Back rubs when she hurts. A friend to vent to when she needs it. And I try not to burden her any more than I need to with my problems, unless she asks, which she does anyway...which is part of why I love her.

6/ Yes, I always liked it when she dressed up, but, no BS, it makes no difference to me. You could cover her in, well, mud? I would still see her the same way. I loved her the first time I saw her (well over twenty years ago) and that has not changed one bit. If anything, more so now. I would wish for her sake that she could see herself as I do.

7/ IDK what to add to what I said before. Love is a verb. An action. I love her.

8/ By your criteria, this one is off limits to me now.

9/ LOL

10/ IDK. I hope I never need to find out.:)

Does that help?

[S. Lisa Smith]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?It makes me feel complete,

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?Yes!

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?More.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. No.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? I tell her that I appreciate her support.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? N/A


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? Love her and support her.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? It's not like that. I'm fine with being a man at times...

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? IDK either.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?NO!!!!

[Danielle71]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It just feels so nice to be feminine

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
I have no SO so I guess this one is a N/A

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
N/A

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
If I had a SO I would love her to refer to me as a female. P.S. If there are any GG's here in the bay area that are looking for a CD, let me know :)

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
N/A

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
N/A


Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
N/A


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
N/A

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
So far I have had no issues with presenting myself as a male. Although the only thing I do right now is waxing.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
N/A yet :)

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
Yes

[AmandaM]

See below in bold.



1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I feel compelled to express myself as a woman at times.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Yes.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I don't consider myself attracted to my girl side. Though it can be a turn on to think of myself as a sexy woman. There is no comparison to my attraction to my wife or other women.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. Refer to me depending on the clothes.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? Nothing. Didn't think I had to do anything except say I appreciate it.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels). The sexier/more feminine a woman, the better.

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? I always want her to dress well.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? No different than my previous relationships where the girl didn't know. I don't think I should have to do anything special because I CD.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? Let's include tattoo removal here. I ignore it when dressed as a guy.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? For me, it's part of my generation.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?No, we have to have the regular attraction, etc.

[Katie Russell]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

It’s the way that dressing makes me feel. Clothes can have a huge impact on your own self-esteem whether you are a male or female. I always feel better when I wear ‘black tie’ as opposed to my DIY gear in male mode. I believe that clothes can alter you mood, you can dress ‘sexy’, for comfort, ‘power dressing’ etc. all of which can have a positive or negative effect on how you feel. When I dress I want to feel attractive which is the way I’m sure any GG would do when she’s in the mood.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

My SO knows about my CDing but she not interested in sharing at present. I, therefore, dress when she is not around. As we don’t talk about it I’m not sure how she feels but it in my opinion it hasn’t changed our relationship. She gets the same person she knew before the cat was out the bag.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I’m not really attracted to my girl side whereas I am to my SO.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.

Doesn’t really talk about it but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable being referred to using female terms.

5) What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?

I’ve really carried on as before. If I changed too much it may alter the dynamics of our relationship and ‘freak’ her out.

6) Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high-heels). Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?

My SO always takes care of her appearance


7) What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?

See answer 5)

8) For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?

N/A

9) What’s the blue eye shadow all about????

I was a big Abba fan as a kid and I can vividly remember Agnetha’s blue eye shadow. I guess every fashion has its time so never say never as quite often they go full circle.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?

No

[Nadine Spirit]

1 - I feel as though I am a mix of genders and wearing female clothes helps me to feel more balanced.

2 - I am and always have been totally honest about my dressing.

3 - Huh? I am attracted to my wife, not myself.

4 - I prefer to be addressed as I am dressed, though I am quite flexible about it.

5 - My entire relationship I have attempted to show my SO how much I appreciate her. I don't think of her accepting my CDing as all that different from me accepting her various likes and dislikes.

6 - My SO can dress however she likes, but I prefer for her to dress in a manner that makes her feel good.

7 - Honestly, I work my little butt off in this relationship, not because my SO supports me, but because that is what is right. If there is any lopsided support in this relationship it is me supporting her with her difficulties within life. Cross dressing is not what our world revolves around. It is a part of our life, but not our entire life.

8 - I don't ever feel as though I am forced to present as male, I choose to present as male or female as the occasion presents. But the various things I do that are a mix of genders, painting my nails, pierced ears, waxing, etc, they do help me to feel more of a sense of balance. It has been years, like 5-10 years since I have felt anything like a pink fog and I see that as a direct result of me attempting to find a balance with my gender.

9 - Uggh, blue shadow! I have greenish/blueish eyes and thus avoid the vast majority of colors and go for contrasting earth tones personally. I think many guys have an idea of what it means to be feminine but not much reality with it, and not much accurate self reflection or accurate external feedback. They don't want to dress like a real girl, they want to dress as their image of a girl.

10 - I appreciate that my SO accepts me, but it is only one small aspect of our relationship. There is much more in life and in relations than cross dressing.

[kimdl93]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I feel genuinely like myself.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? Yes

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I am not attracted to myself!

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course. I prefer female references at all times. But it's easy, my real name is Kim.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance? I tell her, first of all, and I hope I'm as supportive of her in her interests, preferences and needs.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears? I like women who dress smartly, even when they are going casual...that was true before I came out and remains so now.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? Gosh, I think we have a pretty strong, mutually supportive relationship...but then I first came out before we were engaged.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? Yes, although my changes have been subtle and I never feel complete till I'm fully en femme.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? I can't make it work for me.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? No. I don't think that would be fair to her or me.

[Tina_gm]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It feels good, relaxing, and connects me to my feminine side.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Yes. We are in a pseudo DADT, I do not discuss any specifics, she does not ask any. We do talk about CDing, not much lately though, we have been very busy with regular life stuff as of late.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
The girl side is not a sexual thing for me. Sensual at times, but not a sexual excitement kind of thing. I am very attracted to my wife, and I love and adore her femininity and style.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
She does not see me dressed. On a few occasions, she has jokingly referred to me with female pronouns. TBH, I think I am fine with either. Most of the time, she uses male pronouns and that is fine that I hear that from her as her regular way of referring to me.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
I have thanked her for her acceptance in that I have the ability to be able to let this part of myself have time. That when alone, I do not need to only show my masculine side, but can just let go and be the mix of masculine and feminine that I am. I do honor her wishes that I only present as male (clothing) around her.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
For me, if anything it has even increased my desire for her to be and do those feminine things. She is not a "girlie girl" but does take good care of her nails, wears her hair shoulder length and always down, does wear some make up whenever out in public, and has a nice classy feminine style. I do and wish always that she maintains that.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
I can't say I have done any one thing. I just try always to be there for her, to support her in any of life's difficulties and challenges, and celebrate the good.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
I have not done anything permanent. I do shave most of my body. I have grown my nails just a hair longer than what most guys do. Not to the point where it stands out from any distance, and even up close, probably not a real eye catcher. I do feel at peace with those things.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
LOL, you guys have some somewhere.... I am not a make up wearer, as I am only a partial dresser and do not do a full transformation. I would take a pass on the blue though if I did.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
If I was single today, I would not take a whatever I can get so long as she accepts attitude. I do think a level of acceptance should be present, but if it meant hell with every other aspect, no. I would rather be single if that is the case.

[Caden Lane]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?I started t the age of three. As puberty set in, it took a sexual slant...and with age and time, it shifted into a comfort/lifestyle thing.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?I wasnt entirely honest at first. she knew I enjoyed lingerie from very early in our relationship. but it wasn't until recently that i figured out i wanted and needed to dress more. Shortly after that realization, i revealed it to her. It had been impacting our relationship in ways I did not fathom, because after I told her, i had more confidence, I ws more outgoing, more eager to please, my virility in bed took a turn for the better, not that it was bad, but all that weight on my shoulders seems to have had an impact.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?I am attracted to my GF wholly. I have no attraction to my alter ego. I see Caden as an extension of me, therefore there cn be no attraction.

4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.If I present as male, I want her to address me as male, if presenting as female, then the female equivalent. But the biggest determining factor here is her comfort levels as well. I wont press the issue if she isn't comfortable referring to me that way.

5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?I try to let her know how much I Love and appreciate her for all her efforts and understanding.

6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).

Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?I used to live vicariously through her since she always dresses so nice for work. But now I still wish for her to do the same, because she is beautiful. I bought her a charm for her Pandora bracelet that was a dress, because she i always dressed so nice. She asked me if it meant anything about my dressing. I told her no, it was simply a nod to her style. But that if he wanted it to serve as a reminder of my dressing, that was up to her.


7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you? I try to be more Loving, understanding, communicative, honest, open.

8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male? Not applicable to me really. But when I underdress, I feel more at ease. so by extension of logic, i think one can surmise that the effect is the same.

9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ???? Dunno, don't wear blue.

10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting? Accepting my dressing is like accepting my kids. But I need depth in a relationship. So o, it would not be the only deciding factor in a relationship.

[GenieGirl]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
When I was a kid it was because the clothes felt soft I've always had a fascination with feeling soft or smooth things mostly fabrics. Now the clothes still feel great but also love them for the diverse fashion and colors vs mens and the way I look in them
2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Been open with her when we were still friends, she knows everything and I am always willing to inform her of anything when she wants to know.
3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
I am not physically attracted to my girl side.
4) When you and your SO are alone together, would you prefer she used female words in referring to you ("we girls"), or would you prefer she rely on your clothes to determine how to refer to you? (So refer to you as a man when you're in drab.) Assuming she knows the situation, of course.
When we are talking girl talk clothes, makeup, shopping, etc I prefer she treat me as her girlfriend whether I'm dressed or not, same goes wor when I am in femme but isn't a must. All other times I prefer to be her boyfriend.
5)What do you do for your SO to show how you feel about her acceptance?
Whenever I go shopping for makeup I try to find something she might like and get it for her....that and put all of my points on her Ulta card.
6)Let's say that when you were in the closet, you liked your SO to be very stereotypically feminine (manicure, sexy outfits, high heels).
When I was younger I though my ideal girl was a tomboyish type girl but since college I do love the stereotypical feminine girl. She doesnt have to wear sexy outfits but appreciate a girl who can do her makeup properly.
Once you come out to her, do you still prefer her to dress ultra-sexy, or have you stopped caring as much what she wears?
NA she already knew

7)What have you done in the relationship to improve it, so your SO also feels the benefit of supporting you?
Nothing much has changed, I still do everything that I can to be thoughtful as always
8)For those CDers who have undergone more permanent changes, such as ear piercing, waxing, laser or electrolysis (not HRT--I'm gearing the changes to physical, not chemical)--do you feel more at peace with yourself even on the occasions when you have to present as male?
I've had my ears pierce since I was 12, I have 2 rows in each ear. I don't really wear earrings as much anymore even though my fem side has increased greatly over the years. I do plan on laser hair removal for some parts of my body and face. I fugured that heck my skins so sensitive that its a pain to shave and even worse with makeup so why not get rid of it, i think I would look better as a guy as well with a smooth face, I think stubble looks aweful on guys and since I don't plan on growing a beard ever for obvious reasons that it would be an easy choice for me. Same goes for body hair, wouldnt want it as a guy or girl.
9) Whats the blue eye shadow all about ????
I Don't know, I've never worn blue before
10) Would you go into a relationship with the only reason the GG is accepting?
As long as she did not try to limit who I am and what I enjoy it wouldn't bother me. I would be fine doing my girl thing on my own or with other friends and spending time with her when im her boyfriend/husband/etc.